- I Have a Dieter Inside Me
- Inside me lives a skinny woman crying to get out.
- More: Diet Jokes
- Get Thrown Out
- A great way to lose weight is to eat while you are naked and standing in front of a mirror. Restaurants will always throw you out before you can eat too much.
- More: Diet Jokes
- Fattening Spoon
- The most fattening thing that you can put in an ice cream sundae is the spoon.
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- Chocolate Chip Diet
- Chocolate chips are fattening, about 50 calories a tablespoon. However, chocolate chips eaten while making chocolate chip cookies have no calories whatsoever. Therefore make chocolate chip cookies often but don’t eat them.
- More: Diet Jokes
- Don’t Watch Others Eat
- The toughest part of a diet isn’t watching what you eat. It’s watching what other people eat.
- More: Diet Jokes
- More Jokes
- Dessert Ditcher
- Do you call a person who has abandoned their diet a desserter?
- Stick to One Serving
- Never go back for seconds… get it all the first time.
- One Day Diet
- A funny thing with a diet, the second day of a diet is always easier than the first. By the second day you’re off it.
- What do you call a collection of diet jokes?
- Is it true that a collection of jokes about dieting can be referred to as: ‘a binge of jokes’?
- Diet at the Best Restaurants
- ↩Did you hear about the gourmet who avoids unfashionable restaurants because he doesn’t want to gain weight in the wrong places?
- Always Getting Older
- Q: What goes up and never comes down?
- A: Your age!
- Birthday Holidays
- Q: What do ⇖George Washington, Abraham Lincoln, and Christopher Columbus all have in common?
- ⇪A: They were all born on holidays.
- ⇷Don’t Forget Your Wife’s Birthday
- Q: What’s the easiest way to remember your wife’s birthday?
- A: ⇷Forget it once!
Best english jokes-2018
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