cute funny status for you 2017

  1. Life is short; smile while you still have teeth
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  4. I'm so good at sleeping, I can do it with my eyes closed
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  7. when I was born, I was so surprised, I didn't talk for a year
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  9. My personality is who I am & my attitude depends on how rich you are
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  11. I'm not lazy, I'm on energy saving mode
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  13. I live in a world of fantasy, so keep your reality away from me
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  16. I smile in the face of any crisis because I always find somebody to blame
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  18. When I'm a Pedestrian I Hate cars.. When I'm Driving I Hate Pedestrians
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  20. When I am about to make my ends meet, God moves the ends
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  22. Laugh at your problems, everybody else does
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  25. If you don't know where you are going, any road will get you there
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  28. Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate
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  31. Never let a kiss fool you and never let a fool kiss you
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  34. Laughter is the best medicine but if you laugh for no reason, you need medicine
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  37. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list
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  40. Never get into fights with ugly people, they have nothing to lose
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  43. When in doubt, mumble
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  46. My wife and me always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
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  49. Married men live longer than a single men, because when you are in love an hour seems like a minute and once you marry, a minute seems like an hour
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  52. Don't marry for money, you can borrow it cheaper
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  55. When a newly married couple smiles, everyone knows why, but when a ten-year married couple smiles, everyone wonders why
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  57. I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back
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  60. There are 3 kinds of people in the world…those who can count and those who can’t
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  63. God must love stupid people. He made so many
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  66. An expert is one who knows more and more about less and less until he knows absolutely everything about nothing
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  69. I believe we should all pay our tax with a smile. I tried - but Government wanted cash
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  72. You are getting old when you enjoy remembering things more than doing them.
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  75. A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two tired.
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  78. Second child is the living example that parents cannot learn from their mistakes
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  80. I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car
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  82. War does not determine who is right - only who is left
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  85. A bargain is something you don't need at a price you can't resist.
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  88. The man who says his wife cannot take a joke, forgets that she took him
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  91. Promises are like babies…Fun to make but hell to deliver
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  93. Some cause happiness wherever they go, other whenever they go
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  95. Love is one long sweet dream and marriage is the alarm clock
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  98. The two silk worms that started a race ended up in a tie

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