Funny Adult SMS New Best Whatsapp


  • Nurse kept sardaar’s finger in mouth,

  • After blood test.

  • Sardar started dancing,

  • Nurse: what happened?

  • Sardar: Next is Urine Test.


  • ===========================

  • Wife: why are u talking me with u to the Bangkok?

  • Husband: Because nobody carries a tiff-in to restaurant,

  • If u didnt get it,

  • Go watch pogo.


  • ===========================

  • Difference in stress, Tension and panic?

  • Stress is when wife is pregnant.

  • Tension is when girlfriend is pregnant.

  • Panic is when both are pregnant.


  • ===========================

  • Two men went to call a girl,

  • First went in and came out n said,

  • My wife is better than her,

  • Second went in, came out n said,

  • Yes! your wife is much better.


  • ===========================

  • Its the thing that satisfies,
  • Your mind body and soul,
  • Do it on bed or sofa,

  • In the car or anywhere,

  • Its called a prayer.


  • ===========================

  • I really deeply wish that,

  • U are here with me in my room,

  • On my bed,

  • Lights off, We get under the blanket together,

  • To show the glow of new watch in the dark.


  • ===========================
  • Me pee kr nhi behkta usy dekh kr behkta hun,

  • Ab bta sharaab haraam hui ya wo?

  • Peechhy se maa ki awaz ai,

  • Kameeny sharab haram ha or wo haram zaadi.


  • ===========================
  • Guns dont kill people actually,

  • They put holes in body,

  • Holes brought u in the world.

  • And they can take u out of this.


  • ===========================

  • Sex is the only game which is never abandoned,

  • Because of a bad light.


  • ===========================

  • Girl: oh its so tight,

  • Boy: dont worry i ll push it in slowly,

  • Girl: Push it in,

  • Boy: ah i cant.

  • Girl: its painful

  • Boy: foget it.

  • We ll buy a new wedding ring.




  • Sexy girl to Professor in his cabin.

  • I can do anything to pass exams,

  • Professor: okay dear,
  • Then come Open your,

  • Books and study.


  • ===========================

  • Let me kiss your Lips,
  • Feel your tongue,
  • touch your teeth,

  • Yes its me,
  • Your tooth brush.


  • ===========================

  • A man making love to his maid.

  • ” peeno you are sweeter than my wife”

  • Maid: I know, Driver told me so.


  • ===========================

  • A Sardar was working…
  • .
  • for the 1st time in a garment shop…
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • A customer girl asked:
  • .
  • .
  • Underwear dikhana plz…
  • .
  • .
  • .

  • Sardar thora sharmakar: ..
  • .
  • .
  • G aaj pehna nahiN hai ..
  • 😛 😀 lolx hahahahhahahaha


  • ===========================
  • Faakay peY faaka ho raha hEY..
  • .

  • Nakay peY naka ho raha hEY..
  • .

  • Hakumat kar rahi hEY..
  • .
  • Mansooba bandi..
  • .

  • Phir bhi kakay peY..
  • .
  • kaka ho raha hEY….!!


  • ===========================

  • Do You Know …
  • .
  • The Value Of A Minute????
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • Well, It All Depends On …
  • .
  • .
  • Which Side Of The Toilet Door u Are…! 😛


  • ===========================.

  • Funny Question:

  • Agr Shadi Ki Rat Apka Bed Toot Jaye
  • To Subha Ghar Walon Ko Kiya Waja Batao Gay?

  • Reply Me.

  • Send it to ur friends..
  • Barey Mazedar Jawab Aein Gay..!!


  • ===========================
  • kid: Mama mujey bhai chaiye..

  • Mama: Beta tmhrey Abu U.S.A gay hain,

  • wo a jaen phir sochein gey.

  • kid: Mama,Ap 7 waly uncle sey bat kro na,

  • papa ko Surprise dengey. 😛 😀 hahahahahah


  • ===========================
  • BoSS:
  • Ye Tum Itne Chote Chote Kapre Q Phnti Ho???

  •  

  • Personal assistant:
  • Kya Krun Itni Salary Me Itne Hee Chote Kpre Atey Hen
  • Boss! 😛 😀 lolx


  • ===========================

  • Sardar On Phone:
  • Doctor My Wife Iz Pergnant
  • She Is Having Pain Right Now.
  • Doctor: Iz This Her First Child?

  • Sardar: No This Is Her Husband Speaking.




  • Lastnite I Went 2 Bd Without U
  • Cold
  • Naked
  • Thinking Of U
  • Missing Ur Warmth
  • Ur Soft Touch Against My Skin
  • Where Were U “Lastnite”.


  • ===========================
  • Cme Here
  • Take Off Ur Pents Nd Knickers
  • Get On Top Of Me
  • Enjoy Until U Get Satisfied
  • Loving Urz
  • Toilet.


  • ===========================
  • Alwayz Start Ur Day With A Lot Of
  • S E X
  • S – Smile
  • E – Energy
  • X – Xcitement
  • So Make S E X A Daily Habit
  • Nd
  • Ull Always B Succ Sex Ful:! In Life.


  • ===========================

  • I Want To Suck U
  • Lick U
  • Wanna Move My Tongue All Over U
  • Wanna Feel U In My Mouth
  • Yep, That’s How U
  • Eat An Ice Cream.


  • ===========================
  • In A Bath Room
  • A Boy Touchex A Girl Evrywhr
  • U Know Whose That Boy?
  • Stupid It’s Lifeboy Soap
  • Dirty People Always Think Dirty.


  • ===========================

  • A Ung Girl After Her Honeymoon
  • Came Fully Exhausted
  • Nd
  • Tired
  • When Her Frndz Asked Her What Happened?

  • She Replied :
  • When This 70 Year Old Bastaard Told Me
  • He Has Saved A Lot 4rm Last 50 Yearsz

  • “I Thought It Was Money”.


  • ===========================

  • Boy1:Meet My Wife Tinaa
  • Boy2.Oh! I Know Her
  • Boy1:How?
  • Boy2:V Were Caught Sleeping 2gether
  • Boy1:What The Hell?
  • Boy2.During Lecture In Maths Class

  • Think +Ve.


  • ===========================

  • In A Party A Lady Wanted
  • 2 Go 2 Toilet Soo
  • She Inquired With A Sardar
  • Papaji Susu Karnay Ki Jagahn Dikhaow

  • Sardarji Replied U Naughty
  • Pehlay Tm Dikhaow.


  • ===========================

  • Sardar Sent Sms To His Boss:
  • Me Sick, No Work
  • Boss Sms Back
  • When I Am Sick I Kiss My Wife Try It
  • 2 Hourz Later Sardar Sms 2 Boss:
  • Me Ok, Ur Wife V . V Very Sweeet.


  • ===========================

  • 1 Bar 1 Ladke Ne Rajnikant
  • Ki Beti Koh Aankh Maar Di
  • Rajnikant Ny Uxki Gardaan
  • Hth Ur Per Marood Diye
  • Aaj Us Ladke Koh Duniyaah
  • Babaa Raamdeev
  • Kaay Naaam Saay Jaanti Haai.




  • A Small Kid Wr0te T0 Santa Clause
  • Send Mey A Br0ther
  • Santa Wr0te Back
  • Send Mey Ur M0ther.


  • ===========================
  • In A Grammar Class
  • Teacher He D0es N0t Like Girls
  • What Is He In This Sentence
  • Student Gay.


  • ===========================

  • A Sch00l B0y Was Masturbating
  • In Sch00l Bathr00m
  • Suddenly Teacher Came N 0pen The D00r
  • B0y Says Maam 100 Saal Jiy0gi App.

  • ===========================
  • Larki Wale Larki Dekhney Gaye
  • Lark Ne Larki Se Pucha: Aapk0 Khana Banana Ata Hay
  • Larki : Nahe Mujhe T0 Banana Khana Ata Hay.


  • ===========================

  • Santa K0h Nahate Hway Mahb00ba Yaad
  • A Gayi Th0 Farmaya
  • Dil May Hi Tmhara Aks
  • 00r Hath May Hain Sab0n Lux
  • Tmhara Khayal Aata Raha 00r
  • Lux Jhaag Banata Raha.


  • ===========================

  • 1 larka d0sre larke se:

  • Yaar tm ne kabhe k0hi larki phansai hai?

  • 2nd b0y!
  • Yaar larki main ne phansa li thi pr tm l0g0n ne ye m0halla hi ch0r diya.


  • ===========================

  • 1 b0y t0 a dark girl:
  • Kitni kali h0.

  • The girl replies: Isme tere baapp ka kya jata hai.

  • B0y: Agar mere baapp ka gaya h0ta t0 g0ri huti.


  • ===========================

  • Santa ne appni sagaai t0d di kyunki ladki virgin thi.

  • When asked why Santa

  • b0la: J0 aaj taak kisi ki nahi hui w0h meri kaise h0 sakti hai.

  • ===========================

  • Pr0stitute Left Her Pr0fessi0n And Goes 2 A Sch00l 4 A J0b.

  • Principal: Can U Teach Z00l0gy/Bi0l0gy/0r Physi0l0gy.

  • Pr0stitute: N0, 0nly Dalogy & Niklogay.

  • ===========================

  • Girl- Mera b0yfriend kab sudhrega?
  • Baba- Usk0h layi h0?
  • Girl- Nahi
  • Baba- K0hi baat nahi, Appni bra kh0l0.
  • Girl- kyun?
  • Baba- us k hath ki lakerein dheakhni hai.




  • Sardarni: Kal ch0r aya aur mere sath sex karky chala gaya.

  • Sardar: Tmne use r0ka nahi?

  • Sardarni: Bah0t kaha rukne ke liye,
  • bUla kal phir aaunga.


  • ===========================

  • Shukar hai kay aappke hath
  • aasmaan tak nahi pahunch paate.
  • Varna sitare kya cheez hai aapp
  • t0 pariy0 ki gand mein bhe ungali
  • dal aate.


  • ===========================

  • Pota: Dadaji ye condom kya hota hai?

  • Dadaji:Chal bhaag nalayak, mujhe nahi pata,

  • Pota:mai janta tha buddhe,

  • tujhe pata hota to aaj proparty k 15 hisse nai hote.


  • ===========================

  • A woman asks man who is traveling with six children,

  • “Are all these kids yours?”*

  • The man replies, “No, I work in a condom factory and these

  • are customer complaints”.


  • ===========================

  • Only Love Can Remove your
  • Misunderstandings
  • Worries
  • Doubts
  • Fear
  • Tears
  • and
  • Finally What You Wear..:p:p


  • ===========================

  • Daughter: Mom aaj Ek ladke ne
  • mere
  • gal pe zorr se kiss kiya
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • Mom: Tune usko chata mara ya
  • nahi …
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • Daughter: Mujhe achanak Gandhiji
  • yaad agaye
  • aur
  • maine dusra gal bhi aage
  • kar diya.


  • ===========================

  • Old But Epic Game..
  • .
  • Kisi Bhi Movie Ka Naam Likho Uske Baad
  • Laga
  • Do,
  • .
  • “Bathroom Me”
  • ___Like this:
  • ” kuch kuch hota hai bathroom me”
  • .
  • “jannat bathroom me ”
  • .
  • ” tum mile bathroom me”
  • .
  • “ek tha tiger bathroom me”
  • .
  • “Dhamaal bathroom me”
  • .
  • “Hulchal bathroom me”
  • Chalo Start Ho Jao
  • Dekhte hai Sabse Funny Comment
  • Kiska
  • Hota hai.


  • ===========================

  • Ek Larki Sarak Pe Akeli Ja Rahi Thi,
  • Piche Se Ek Boy Bola,
  • Ghar Tak Lift Chaiye Kya,

  • Girl: Bhag Ja Saley 3 Din Se,
  • Lift Le Rahi Hu Abi Tak Ghar Nhi Pahunchi.


  • ===========================
  • Wife: If This Is Your First,
  • Time How Did You Fuck So Well,
  • Husband: If This Is Your First,
  • Time How Do You Know I Fucked So Well.


  • ===========================

  • What did summer say to spring?

  • Help! I’m going to fall,

  • I need a girlfriend so bad.




  • Kafi time lagta hai, ek shareef bande ko, girlfrnd patane me,
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • Phir agar pat jaye toh,
  • kisi ka baap bhi use dobara shareef nahi bana sakta.


  • ===========================

  • Ball Tampering the most favorite part time,
  • activity of men specially in Summers.

  • Pogo Please.


  • ===========================

  • Girls want attention,

  • Women want Respect,

  • Men want both,

  • Both Girls and Women.


  • ===========================

  • This one’s a Classic,

  • The reason women will never,
  • be the ones to propose is ,
  • As soon as she gets on her knees,
  • The man will start unzipping.


  • ===========================

  • One night Veena Malik boyfriend,
  • asked her: Darling, r u free tonight,
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • Veena shouted & said: Asshole,
  • have I ever charged u before?


  • ===========================
  • It goes in dry, comes out wet,
  • The longer it’s in the stronger it gets,
  • It comes out dripping and starts to sag,
  • It’s not what you think,
  • It’s a tetley tea bag.


  • ===========================

  • Wife: Har Hafte Weekend Pe,
  • Tum Fishing Karne Jate Ho Na,

  • Husband: Haan Toh,

  • Wife: Aaj Woh Machhli,
  • Ghar Aayi Thi, Keh Rahi,
  • Thi Woh Maa Ban’ne Wali Hai.


  • ===========================
  • A Broken Lover’s Emotional Status On Facebook:
  • I Want Her Back.

  • Friend’s Comment: “Even I Agree, Her Front Is Not Worth.


  • ===========================

  • In a cramped bus,
  • Lady: Something of yours is touching me,
  • Man: Oh! That’s,  that’s
  • just my salary in my pocket,
  • Lady: Did your salary just,
  • triple in the last 5 minutes.


  • ===========================

  • Woman without curves is like,
  • a road without bends,
  • You may get to your destination quicker,
  • but the ride is boring as hell.



  • Boy: Tumhari Umar kya hai?
  • Girl: 20 years.

  • Boy: Tum ne to 5 saal pehle bhi ye hi batayi thi?

  • Girl: Dekha ladkiyan zubaan ki,
  • Kitni pakki hoti hain.


  • ===========================

  • Pota: Dadaji ye condom kya hota hai?

  • Dadaji:Chal bhaag nalayak, mujhe nahi pata,

  • Pota:mai janta tha buddhe,

  • tujhe pata hota to aaj proparty k 15 hisse nai hote.


  • ===========================

  • What is the perfect example
  • of both Good & Bad Luck?

  • The naughty wind blows the girl’s skirt high Good luck,

  • but at the same time,

  • Dust falls into the boy’s eyes.


  • ===========================

  • Smart man + smart woman = romance,

  • Smart man + dumb woman = affair,

  • Dumb man + smart woman = marriage,

  • Dumb man + dumb woman = a baby.


  • ===========================
  • Survey found 59% men want to,
  • have sxx more than 7 times a week,
  • The figure dropped to 3 % wen,
  • d words “with wife” were added,
  • It dropped sharply to 0.03% wen,
  • the words “own wife” were added.


  • ===========================

  • A Boy asked a Girl in a market,
  • i have lost my GF,
  • can u talk2me 4a minute,
  • Girl- why,
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • Boy- bcaz whenever i talk2any girl,
  • my GF find me.


  • ===========================
  • Aj kal 2 chezain bhot qismat walon ko milti hain,
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • ek jangle main ghomta hua white hathi,
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • 2nd without affairs wala jevan sathi.


  • ===========================

  • 2 Qism Ki Girls K Peeche Na Bhago,

  • 1 Jis K Peeche Mai HooN Q K Wo TumSe Set Nahi Ho Gi,

  • 2 Jis K Peeche Me Ni Hu Q K Jo MujhSe Set Ni Hui,
  • Wo Tum Se Kya GHANTA Ho Gi.


  • ===========================

  • Ek ladka apni pados ki Aunty ko
  • ghar chorne gaya,
  • .
  • .
  • Aunty ne bola:” Beta raat bahot ho gai hai, tum yahi
  • BITTU ke kamre me so jao,
  • .
  • .
  • Ladka bola: nahi Aunty meyahin
  • SOFA par so jaunga,
  • .
  • .
  • Agle din Subah ek Bohot hi Sundar
  • ladki CHAI le kar aai,
  • .
  • .
  • Ladka:” Aap kaun ho.. ??
  • .
  • .
  • Ladki: Me BITTU.. Aap kaun…??
  • .
  • .
  • Ladka: Mai saala ullu ka pattha.


  • ===========================

  • A child said to a pregnant lady,
  • Child :- Ye pait me kya hai ?
  • .
  • .
  • Lady :- Isme mera pyara sa cute sa
  • baby hai,
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • Child :- Itna pyara tha to khaya kyu
  • moti.




  • Angried Dad: Iss ladki mein aisa kya,
  • hai ki thuney shaadi k liye haan kar di,

  • Mindblowing ans by son: Dad ye bachpan,
  • mein angutha bahut achha choosti thi.


  • ===========================

  • Aaj kal ki mohabbat ki taaqat to dekho,

  • Band car ko bhi hila deti hai.


  • ===========================

  • All Husbands are like Bluetooth,

  • Always connected to wife when she is around,

  • But

  • The moment wife is Away,

  • They automatically start searching new devices.


  • ===========================

  • There two type of guy’s in this world,
  • 1-the who says BITCH PLEASE,
  • 2-those assholes who says PLEASE BITCH,
  • Now what’s u’r type.


  • ===========================

  • A Cow said to her Milk Man politely:

  • Bas Bhi karo na,
  • Biwi Maike Gayi hai kya.


  • ===========================

  • A married guy to his single friends:

  • you know what I found, Wives are more dangerous than Mafia,
  • The Mafia wants either your money or life,
  • But The Wife wants BOTH.


  • ===========================
  • Newly married girl after having,

  • Honeymoon in Swiss and London:

  • Friend : What have you seen in all those places??

  • Girl : only Ceiling Fan.

  • ===========================

  • Jo apni Grlfrnd ko chand samajhte hai, wo kripya dhyan rakhe ki,

  • chand par apse pehle 17 or log chadh chuke hai.

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