Funny Shayari New Best Lates


  1. Chali jati hain wo beauty parlour mein yun,
  2. Unka mak!!sad hain misaal-e-hoor ho jana,
  3. Ab kon samjhaye en ladkiyo ko,
  4. Mumkin nahi kish-mish ka fir se angur ho jana.





  5. ===================================
  6. Is kadar hum apko chahte hain ki,
  7. Duniya w!!ale dekh kar jal jate hai.
  8. Yun to hum sabko ullu banate hain,
  9. Lakin aap thoda jaldi ban jaate hain.





  10. ===================================
  11. Tere golden face ki beauty ne,
  12. Mere komal heart pe attack kiya,
  13. Sabko reject kiya tumko select kiya,
  14. Request h!!ai tumse Isse refuse na karna,
  15. Mere pyar ke is bulb ko kabhi fuse na karna.





  16. ===================================

  17. Mohabbat !!mein jab mujhe Dhoka mila,
  18. To zindagi me charo aur udasi cha gayi,
  19. Socha tha ki AAG laga dunga es duniya ko,
  20. Par kambhakt colony mein dusri aa gayi 



  21. Rishte Banaye Hai to Nibaye Jao,
  22. Har pal Apno ko Hasaye Jao,
  23. Pata nahi k!!isi ko fursat Hai ya nahi Hame yaad krne ki,
  24. Khud Hi tang kar-kar ke Apni yaad dilaye Jao.





  25. ===================================

  26. Dhokha mila jab pyaar mein,
  27. Zindagi mein udaasi chaa gayi,
  28. Socha th!!a chodh denge in raahon ko,
  29. Par aaj mohalle mein doosri aa gayi.





  30. ===================================

  31. Dil ki awaz koi pehchanta nahi,
  32. Kisko kya dard hai koi janta nahi,
  33. Hum bhi n!!ahi chahte aapko pareshan karna,
  34. Magar kya kare, Dil hai ki manta nahi…





  35. ===================================


  36. Arz kiya hai
  37. Koi ladki hume thukra de to gum nhi,
  38. Koi ladki hume thukra de to gum nhi,
  39. Are us !!ladki ki maa ki kismat footi,
  40. Jiske damad hum nhi.



  41. Kyu kisi ki yaado me roya jaye!

  42. Kyu kisi ke Khayalo me Khoya jaye!

  43. Mera to y!!ahi kehna hai yaro,

  44. raat bahut ho gayi hai,

  45. Kyu Na  chup chap soya  jaye.

  46. G.N.





  47. ===================================

  48. Fitrat me nahi Humare,

  49. Mohabbat m!!e aason Bahana,

  50. Bewafaiko unki apni yadon me

  51. dohrana,

  52. Do boond Sharab ki,

  53. Bhuladeti hai sare gam,

  54. Aur,Phir kisi nayi mehbooba ki

  55. talash me

  56. Nikal padte hai Hum !!





  57. ===================================


  58. Ajeeb si halat h Tere jane k Bad

  59. Bhook nhi lgti khana khane K Bad

  60. Mere Pas 8 Samose the jo mene kha liye

  61. 1 tere Aane !!se pahle 7 tere jane K Bad :D





  62. ===================================

  63. Dost Ruthe to Rab Ruthe
  64. Fir Ruthe!! to Jag Chute
  65. Agr fir Ruthe to Dil Tute
  66. OR
  67. Agr Fir B Ruthe

  68. To

  69. Utar Chapa!!l Or tb tk maar jb tk Chappal Na tute…



  70. LadKi SatH Ho To– ReStUraNt Ka BiLL,

  71. LadKI DuR hO tO–
  72. MoBilE kA BiLL

  73. … AuR LaDKi DuR
  74. hi Ho J!!aYE To–
  75. DaRU kA BiLL

  76. ISliYe doStUn Na
  77. LaGAo DIl tO
  78. Na AyEgA BiLl…. :D





  79. ===================================
  80. 71. Tedhe medhe, oonche neeche hai pyar ke raste.
  81. Nagar palika !!ko khat bhejo marammat ke vaste!

  82. 72. Dil ke dard ko zubaan par late nahin,
  83. apni aankhon se kabhi aansu bahate nahin,
  84. zakhm chahe kitne bhi gehare kyon na ho,
  85. DETTOL ke siwa hum kuchh lagate nahin!

  86. 73. Pyar to humein bhi karna tha,
  87. par kuchh khaas hua nahin.
  88. Taj Mahal to humein bhi banana tha,
  89. par afsos ke LOAN pass hua nahin!

  90. 74. Kisi ne darwaza khat khataya,
  91. mai samjha m!!era DIL aaya.
  92. Darwaza khola to dekha bijli ka BILL aaya!

  93. 75. Likhe jo khat tujhe,
  94. wo teri yaad mein,
  95. sare sare kh!!at bapu ne padh liye.
  96. Savera jab hua, to joote pad gaye,
  97. wo fashion wale baal hawa mein ud gaye!

  98. 76. Nigahein nigahonse mila ke to dekho,
  99. kabhi kisi kn apna bana ke to dekho,
  100. milna chahenge sab log tumse,
  101. kabhi tum naha ke to dekho!

  102. 77. Aap ki charcha hai har galli mein,
  103. har ladki ke dil mein aap ke liye pyar hai,
  104. yeh koi chamatkar nahin,
  105. kyonki kucch hi dino mein rakhi ka tyohar hai!

  106. 78. Jalte ko aag kehte hai,
  107. kobra ko naag jehte hai,
  108. garden ko baag kehte hai
  109. aur aap ke paas jo missing hai usko dimaag kehte hai!

  110. 79. Tu chandramukhi main surajmukhi,
  111. tu mujhse dukhi main tujhse dukhi.
  112. Chatt se chhalang laga de,
  113. phir tu bhi sukhi, main bhi sukhi.

  114. 80. Unki gali se guzar rahe the kya ittefaq tha,
  115. unki gali se guzar rahe the kya ittefaq tha,
  116. unhon ne ph!!ool phainka par gamla bhi saath tha!





  117. ===================================
  118. (61) Hazaro!!n khwaishein aisi ke har khwaish pe dum nikle.
  119. Koi meri biwi se kahe ke woh shopping pe kam nikle!

  120. (62) Pyar kabhi na karna pardesi se,
  121. rote rote naina thak jayenge.
  122. Pyar karna hamesha padosi se,
  123. roz roz khidki se darshan ho jayenge!

  124. (63) dost teri dosti itni pyari,
  125. teri dosti pe qurban zindagi sari.
  126. Kya tujhe pyari nahin meri yari,
  127. to chal ab SMS karne ki teri bari!

  128. (64) Honn main doctor jahan,
  129. meri wife hai nurse wahan.
  130. Yeh kaisa zul!!m sehna padta hai mujhe,
  131. apni wife jo sister kehna padta hai mujhe!

  132. (65) Tum kya jano gum kya hota hai,
  133. kambakht tum !!kya jano gum kya hota hai,
  134. tumne to hamesha Fevistick hi use kiya hai!

  135. (66) Yahan!! khuda hai, wahan khuda hai,
  136. jahan dekho wahan khuda hai.
  137. Aur jahan nahin khuda,
  138. wahan kal khudega! (Slogan of telephone dept.)

  139. (67) Na aana usko leke hamare janaze mein,
  140. meri mohabbat ki tauheen hogi.
  141. Main 4 logonke kandhe par hounga,
  142. aur meri jaan paidal hogi!

  143. (68) Dimag ke liye santre ka juice,
  144. aankhon ke liye gaajar ka juice,
  145. sehat ke liye anaar ka juice,
  146. khush rehne ke liye SMS kar kanjoos!

  147. (69)Seeta ke banwaas mein bahut badi seekh hai,
  148. ghar mein agar 3-4 saanse ho,
  149. to phir jungle hi theek hai!

  150. (70) Teri galiyon mein na rakhenge kadam aaj ki baad,
  151. kyon ki keech!!a bahut ho jaata hai wahan barsaat ke baad!





  152. ===================================
  153. 51. Kya lekar aye the, kya lekar jaoge?
  154. Mujhe SMS na k!!ar ke kitni chillar bachaoge?
  155. Utni chillar bachake narak kya bangla banaoge?

  156. 52. Dost na honge to dosti ka faez kaun ada karega?
  157. Hum na honge to aap ko kaun yaad karega?
  158. Bas aap salaamat rahe,
  159. warana hamari salaamati ki kaun dua karega?

  160. 53. Ladki matlab ek ajib paheli.
  161. Kabhi teri to kabhi meri saheli.
  162. Kharch kare to bole “Darling I love you”.
  163. Na kare to bole “Hello brother who are you?”

  164. 54. Lamha lamha waqt guzar jayega.
  165. 7 pheron ke saath koi aap se bandh jayega.
  166. Abhi bhi waqt hai kisi se affair kar lo,
  167. kya pata kal kaun sa sample aapko saumpa jayega!

  168. 55. Mere SMS ko tere INBOX mein panah mil jaye.
  169. Tu reply kare to!! tera mobile FANAA ho jaye!

  170. 56. Teri dosti ki roshni aisi hai ke har taraf ujala hai.
  171. Ab lagta hai ki ghar ki bijli katwa doon aur tujhe diwar par latka doon!

  172. 57. Kisi ko PURA!!NI HAVELI pasand hai,
  173. kisi ko Sharukh ki PAHELI pasand hai,
  174. kisi ko AKELI pasand hai,
  175. par humein to aap ki SAHELI pasand hai!

  176. 58. Kanjusi ke liye Oscar ka jab bhi nomination ayega,
  177. aap ka naam!! bade adab se liya jayega.
  178. Kabhi kisi ko SMS mat karna,
  179. Award haath se nikal jayega!

  180. 59. Log ishq kyon karte hai bade shor ke saath?
  181. Hum ne bhi kiya bade jor ke saath.
  182. Magar ab karenge thoda gaur ke saath
  183. kyon ki kal use dekha kisi aur ke saath!

  184. 60. Teri jhulfon mein khona chahta hoon,
  185. par tu tel itna lagati hai ki har baar phisal jata hoon




  186. Tharo SMS jab aave hai,
  187. maro rom-rom machal jaave hai.
  188. Ang-ang mein gudgudi hove hai.
  189. Woh tharo SMS ka kasoor nahin hai, kambakht mobile hi VIBRATE par hai!

  190. (42) Subah sham teri yaad aave hai.
  191. Saari raat jagave hai.
  192. Karne ko to kar l!!e call tumhe,
  193. par customer care ki woh ladki bar-bar balance low batave hai!

  194. (43) Har gali har deewar pe tera naam likha hai.
  195. Upar wanted aur neeche chavanni inam likha hai!

  196. (44) Yaar ne dil !!ka haal batana chhod diya,
  197. humne bhi gehrai mein jana chhod diya.
  198. Aap ne SMS karna kya bandh kiya,
  199. humne mobile charge hi karna chiood diya!

  200. (45) Ek bahut hi dard bhari shayari arz hai.
  201. Dil mein chubhi hai sui,
  202. dil mein chubhi ek sui,
  203. dil mein chubh gayi sui…..oui oui oui oui!

  204. (46) Honi ko anhoni kar de anhoni ko honi,
  205. ek jagah jab jama ho tino……….Chappell, Dravid aur Dhoni!

  206. (47) Jab tum angadayi lete ho to nera dum oikal jata hai.
  207. Arey thoda deodorant lagane mein tera kya jata hai?

  208. (48) Jawani ke din nashile ho gaye,
  209. husn ke teer nokile ho gaye.
  210. Hum izhaar karne mein thoda dheele ho gaye,
  211. itne mein unke haath pile ho gaye!

  212. (49) Pyar ek shikva hai, dosti ek jasba hai.
  213. Pyar mein har baar dhoka milta hai,
  214. dosti mein baar baar mauka milta hai!

  215. (50) Message karne se jo darte hai,
  216. call karne pe jo marte hai; badkuck to dekho,
  217. aise kanjus dost mere hi palle padte hai!





  218. ===================================
  219. (31) Gadha jo khaye woh ghaas ho tum,
  220. energy ka chawanprash ho tum. Idiot,
  221. stupid ek bakwaas ho tum, par jo bhi yaar,
  222. dost ek jhakaas ho tum!

  223. (32) Machhar ne aap ko kaata woh uska junoon tha.
  224. Aap ne khujaya usmein aap ko sukun tha.
  225. Aap ne chah kar bhi machhar ko nahin maara
  226. kyon ki uske ragon mein aap ka khoon tha!

  227. (33) Har khushi ko teri taraf mod doon.
  228. Tere liye chand-taare tod doon.
  229. Khushiyon ke darwaze tere liye khol doon……
  230. Itna kaafi hai dost ya do-chaar jhoot aur bol doon?!

  231. (34) Kaahe javat college kn,
  232. kaahe karat padhai,
  233. number utne hi aan hai,
  234. jitne ki chit banayi! – Kabir’s doha.

  235. (35) LADKI – Na chhedo hasinonko, paap hoga;
  236. kal tu bhi kisi hasina ka baap hoga.
  237. LADKA – Khuda kare teri yeh baat sachhi ho;
  238. jo mujhe baap kahe woh teri bhi bachhi ho!

  239. (36) Tez hawa ja jhonka aaya,
  240. saath mein teri khushboo laya.
  241. Jhat se dil mein khayal aaya,
  242. aaj bhi mera dost nahin nahaya!

  243. (37) Agar raat ko koi tang jare tumhe,
  244. tumhari karvaton mein sataye,
  245. tumhare galon ko aur badan lo choome to romantic mat bano,
  246. ALL OUT lagao, machharon ko bhagao!

  247. (38) Woh mud mud ke humein dekh rahi thi aur hum unhe.
  248. Kyonki exam mein ma unhe kuchh aata tha ma humdin!

  249. (39) Aaj deedar kal yaar.
  250. Parson pyar phir ikrar.
  251. Phir intezar phir takrar phir daraar.
  252. Aur akhir mein ek aur Devdas at beer bar!

  253. (40) Hasinon ne hasina bankar gunah kiya.
  254. Auron ko to thik, hun ko bhi tabah kiya.
  255. Pesh kiya jo gazalonmein unki bewafai ko,
  256. auron ne to thik, unhnone bhi vah-vah kiya!





  257. ===================================
  258. (21) Phone mat kiya karo dear,
  259. mom hoti hai near. Papa se lagta hai fear,
  260. baat nahin hoti hai clear.
  261. Hs liye SMS karo dear, without fear and clear!

  262. (22) Dost teri yaad mein humein dast(=diarrohea) lag gaye.
  263. Yeh bhi to aansoo hi hai bas rasta bhatak gaye!

  264. (23) Unki gali ke chakkar kaatate kaatate kutte bhi hamare yaar ho gaye.
  265. Woh to hamare na ho sake, hum kuttonke sardar ho gaye!

  266. (24) College ki galiyon mein ajib khel hota hai.
  267. Class ke bahane dilon ka mel hnta hai.
  268. Notes ki jagah lovemail hota hai.
  269. Isliye Pappu har saal fail hota hai!

  270. (25) Jab jab gheere badal, teri yaad aayi. Jab jhoom ke barsa sawan, teri yaad aayi. Jab jab mai bhiga, teri yaad aayi. Ab raha nahin jata, chhatri lauta de bhai!

  271. (26) Ai dost tu bhi likha kar shayari, tera bhi naam ho jayega. Log phekenge ande tamatar, to shaam ki sabji ka intezam io jayega!

  272. (27) Dil se boloon ek baat main sachhi,
  273. hum tum ek daal ke do panchhi.
  274. Dosti hamari yeh hogi na kachhi,
  275. teri photo se to meri negative achhi!

  276. (28) Jalee ko aag kehte hain.
  277. Bujhi ko rakh kehte hain.
  278. Jo cheez tumhare paas nahin hai jaani,
  279. use hum dimag kehte hain!

  280. (29) Kabhi housla bhi aajma lena chahiye.
  281. Bure waqt mein muskura lena chahiye.
  282. Jab saat din mein bhi khujli na mite,
  283. to 8ve din naha lena chahiye!

  284. (30) Dil do kisi ek ko, kisi nek ko jo samjhe ishq ko.
  285. Jab tak sachha dildar na mile, try karte raho har ek ko!


  286. ===================================
  287. (11) Manzil ki taraf badhte chalo.
  288. Jo dil kahe usi raah ko chuno.
  289. Pichhe walon ko aage jane na do aur aage walon ke aage niklo.
  290. Tabhi tum achhe TRUCK DRIVER ban sakte ho!

  291. (12) Humein to loot liya SMS ne,
  292. call mein kya dum tha.
  293. Mera mobile phasa vahan jahan coverage jam tha.

  294. (13) Dosti ka pehla paigam aapke naam.
  295. Zindagi ki aakhri saans aapke naam.
  296. Rahe salamat yeh dosti hamari.
  297. Dosti salamat rakhna aaqka kaam!

  298. (14) Safar lamba hai, dost banate chalo.
  299. Dil mile na mile, haath badhate chalo.
  300. Taj na banao, bahut mahenga padega.
  301. Jahan bhi jan, ek nayi mumtaz banate chalo!

  302. (15) Fursat mein tum yaad aate bahut ho.
  303. Yaadon mein aakar satate bahut ho.
  304. Ji karta hai tumhe lunch par bulaoon.
  305. Par kya jarun yaar, tum khaate bahut ho!

  306. (16) Yeh jo ladkiyon ke baal hote hai,
  307. ladkon ko fasane ka jaal hote hai.
  308. Khoon choos keti hai ladkon ka saara,
  309. tabhi to inke honth laal hote hai!

  310. (17) Raam ne dhanush toda,
  311. Seeta bhaag ke chali aayi.
  312. Kisan ne baansuri bajayi,
  313. Radha daud ke aa gayi.
  314. Humne to sirf seeti bajayi,
  315. woh baap ko keke aa gayi!

  316. (18) Mere SMS ke charche hone lage.
  317. Log hamare dewane hone lage.
  318. Khush nasib hai aaq jo hamara SMS mila.
  319. Jise na mila woh phone patak patak ke rone lage!

  320. (19) Ajib hai nakhre tere,
  321. ajib hai tera style.
  322. Naak pochhne ki tameez nahin aur haath mein hai mobile!

  323. (20) Samundar bhar syllabus,
  324. nadiyan bhar padh pate hain.
  325. Balti bhar yaad rehta hai,
  326. mug bhar likh pate hain.
  327. Chullu bhar marks aate hain,
  328. chalo doob kar mar jaate hain




  329. Sharaab bani to maikane bane.
  330. Husn bana to deewane bane.
  331. Kucch to hai aap mein,
  332. yun hi nahin paagalkhane bane!

  333.  

  334. (2) Itna achha kaise hans lete ho?
  335. Itna achha kaise muskura lete ho?
  336. Itna zyada kaise bol lete ho?
  337. Kisi se seekha hai kya?
  338. Ya bachpan se hi paagal ho?!

  339.  

  340. (3) Haseen tum ho, to bure hum bhi nahin.
  341. Mahalomein tum ho, to sadak par hum bhi nahin.
  342. Pyar kar ke kehte ho ki shadishuda ho,
  343. kaan khol ke sun lo, kunware hum bhi nahin!

  344.  

  345. (4) Andhe ke haath mein torch,
  346. bahare ke haath mein phone,
  347. goonge ke haath mein mike aur aap ke haath mein mobile!
  348. Vah, kya zamana aa gaya!

  349.  

  350. (5) Maine Bhagwan se kaha phool do to usne bagicha diya;
  351. paani do to samundar diya; ghar do to mahal diya;
  352. paisa do to aapka number diya! To kab aoon lene?

  353.  

  354. (6) Khwabomein ayenge SMS ki taraha.
  355. Dilmein bas jayenge RINGTONE ki taraha.
  356. Dosti kabhi kam na hogi BALANCE ki taraha.
  357. Bas tum busy na rahana NETWORK ki taraha!

  358.  

  359. (7) Vaade bhi dostone kya khoob nibhaye,
  360. jakhm muft aur dard tohfemein bhijwaye.
  361. Isse badhkar wafadari ki misal kya hogi,
  362. ki maut se pehle hi kafan lekar aaye!

  363.  

  364. (8) Aapki chaal mor jaisi, awaz koyal jaisi,
  365. dimag lomdi jaisa, gussa sher jaisa,
  366. aankhen hiran jaisi.
  367. Kitna achha hota agar 2-3 qualities insanowali bhi hoti!

  368.  

  369. (9) Ek tum ho ki kitne achhe ho,
  370. ek tum ho ki kitne pyare ho.
  371. Ek tum ho ki kitne sundar ho,
  372. ek tum ho ki kitne sachhe ho.
  373. Aur ek hum hai ki jhoot pe jhoot bole ja rahe hai!

  374.  

  375. (10) Tum door sahi, majboor sahi,
  376. phir bhi yaad tumhari aati hai.
  377. Tum saans wahan lete ho, badboo yahan tak aati hai


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