Funny Women Quotes Sms message2017


  • Men are nasty to each other and don’t me~an it, Women are nice to each other and don’t mean it!

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  • As long as a woman can look ten years you~nger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied.

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  • For all men who say ‘A woman’s place is i~n the kitchen’ remember that’s where the knives are kept.

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  • What do women and tornadoes have i~n common? They both moan when they come and they take the house when they leave.

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  • If you want to know a girl…p~raise her friends.

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  • Women speak two languages. One of which is verbal.

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  • Why do only 60% of women go to heaven…becaus~e if they all went it would be hell.

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  • Synonym of women must be mysterious.. Cos know o~ne has ever been able to understand them

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  • Men socialize by insulting one another, but they don’t ~really mean it. Women socialize by complimenting one another… ~But they don’t really mean it, either.

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  • Women are a language men will never understand.

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  • Never underestimate the power of nagging.

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  • Why did god create men first? He didn’t w~ant to be coached on how to make him.

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  • Ladies, why you ask if a dress makes you l~ook fat? Why you no see your fat makes you look fat

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  • You know a women is about to say som~ething smart when she starts her sentence with “A man once told me

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  • Women are suitable to be journa~lists, they never spend a minute quiet.

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  • There are only three~ things women need in life: food, water, and compliments.

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  • So I was up all night trying to m~ake a website for women drivers, but it kept on crashing.

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  • Women want men, care~ers, money, children, friends, luxury, comfort, independence, freedom, respect, love, and a three-dollar pantyho~se that won’t run.

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  • A woman look ten times more beautiful wh~en she is sleeping, but only to her husband.:P

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  • Unlike women, the older the win~e the sweeter it becomes.

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  • It’s tough to stay marri~ed. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won’t drink from my glass.

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  • For most of history, Anony~mous was a woman.
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  • If Women were Cars, then th~e men would save more fuel…nobody wants a car that decides where to go, when to go and for how long.

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  • The two faces of a coin decid~es a woman’s mind. Head, they go for money. Tail, they go for money…

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  • If a woman tells you th~at she is single by choice, its probably because no one has chosen her.

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  • Women are like an email in your in~box, you cannot wait to open it, and when you open it, then you realize its a virus.

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  • If for some reason I doubt that I’m w~rong, all I need to do is ask a woman for verification.

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  • A wise man once said “I don’t ~know, ask a girl.”

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  • Two most deadly weapons ~in the world: Wo~men’s nag~ging and Women’s tears! Can make any man act like a tortoise, right into the~ shell. Don’t believe me, try it…he he he:

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  • Halloween is for dressing~as something you’re not. That’s why most girls go as sexy.

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  • I don’t get why girls go to college, you don’t need a degree to make a sandwich.

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  • I don’t condone wife beating, but I understand it!

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  • There was a time when girls use to be intellig~ent, it was before the formation of universe.

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  • Q: What’s the difference between t~he abominable snowman & an intelligent woman? A: There have been a few reported sightings of the snowm~an.

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  • There is no doubt that all w~omen are crazy. It’s just a matter of degree.

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  • The bravest thing that a ma~n does is to bear a women in his life.

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  • I never argue now with a wom~an, I just take my beating like a man.

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  • Women are cute…until you marry them

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  • Women have never b~een on the moon because it doesn’t need to be cleaned.

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  • When a woman has n~othing left to argue, she will either ignore you, cry or remember that thing until she takes revenge on that.

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  • All girls can be intelligent..you just gotta act stupid in front of them.

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  • You remember a chick fight a lot longer t~han you remember a guy fight.

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  • Women are like cars, we enjoy the~m when they are new because they don’t give problems, when they get old they give problems a~nd we want to sell them.

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  • If women ran the world we wouldn’t h~ave wars, just intense negotiations every 28 days.

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  • What is said to a w~oman with 2 black eyes? Nothing she has already been told twice… What is a woman with 1 black eye? A qu~ick learner!

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  • My wife sounds like an un- tuned radio…

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  • If a tree was suppose to give a money rather tha~n a fruit I bet every girl will marry a monkey!

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  • If you see a nice man with great personality, good dressings,~ nice and high morals and character. What you call him? Yes, ~a gentle man! Have you ever meet a gentle woman?

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  • I don’t need an encyclopedia, ~my wife knows everything. 99% of all women are beautiful. The remaining 1% is in my office.

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  • Women” – they have a ~way of complicating things

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  • I think the inventor of the mirror is a man who was tired of always being asked how do I look by his wife.

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  • Getting in an argument with a wo~man is like being arrested, because anything you say can and will be used against you.

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  • How to find a wife… Step 1 of 2: Find a woman you like now but you know you’re going to hate in 5 or less years. Step~ 2 of 2: Give her your house.

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  • Fastest ways of communicati~on, telephone, television, tell-a-woman.

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  • What I don’t understand is how women can pour hot wax on their bodies, let it dry, then rip out every single hair by its root and still be scare~d of spiders.

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  • No one can argue any longer about the rights of wo~en. It’s like arguing about earthquakes.

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  • I’m a woman.. I’m smart. I never loose an argument~. I can cook. I like to read fashion magazines. I love to~ be right. Men don’t understand us. We must have secret powers, because I don’t understand us, either.

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  • Q: How to turn a fox into and elephant? A: Marry her.

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  • The reason women don’t play football ~is because 11 of them would never wear the same outfit in public.

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  • Is the reason we have so few female pol~iticians that it would take too long to put make up on their two faces.

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  • It is very difficult to tell a woman where your pl~anning to go..Cos it’s difficult to answer the rest.. WHERE?. WHEN? a~nd FOR WHAT PURPOSE?. And then comes the worst “I WOULD LIKE TO JOIN

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  • A woman voting for divorce is like a turkey voting for Christmas.

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  • Don’t judge~ a women from 100 feet away.

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