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Funny Work Quotes New 2017

⧭Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance⬌⬌

⧭Worst excuse for not turning in homework: I couldn't find anyone to copy it from.

⧭He's so lazy that if there were work in bed, he would rather sleep on the floor.

⧭Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They're about to announce the lottery numbers.

⧭If you had to identify in one word the reason why the human race has not achieved and never will achieve its full potential, that word would be 'meetings.

⧭When my boss told me this is the fifth time I'm late, I smiled and thought to myself, it's Friday

⬉I used to work in a fire hydrant factory. You couldn't park anywhere near the place.

⬉Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy.

⬉A meeting is an event at which the minutes are kept and the hours are lost.

⬉Some people go to the office in a Hyundai, some in a Ferrari, my office *is* a Boeing 747.

⬈If you think your boss is stupid, remember: you wouldn't have a job if he was any smarter.

⬉The best part of going to work is coming back home at the end of the day.

⬉New year resolutions you can actually keep! Skip more classes in school. Call in sick at work more. Go shopping more often. Eat more unhealthy food like fries and burgers. Drink more pop cans instead of freshly squeezing healthy fruits. Do less exercise and watch more TV.

⬉If what you've done is stupid but it works, then it really isn't that stupid at all.

⬉Actual meanings of various terms: TEAM WORK: Having somebody else you can blame it on. HARDWARE: The part of a computer you can kick when there are software problems. IMPATIENT: Somebody who⬈ is waiting in a hurry. INFLATION: Paying today's prices with last year's salary.

🔀I don't work on⃔ weekends, or any other day that ends with "Y".

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