Insult Quotes Message Sms


  • A gentleman is one who never hurts anyone’s feelings unintentionally.

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  • Are your parents siblings?


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  • Fake Nails. Fake Hair. Fake Smile. Are you ~sure, you weren’t made in China


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  • You know why God put you on earth. . . because he didn’t want you up there.


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  • It’s not that I don’t have time to discuss, but it’s just that I find you worthless for my worthwhile words.


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  • How do you keep an idiot in suspense? Leave a message and I’ll get back to you.


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  • Ohh…you should be on discovery…


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  • If beauty is a crime…. Then arrest me… And You !! You’re FREE


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  • Do you like b~lack eyes? I’m really good at making them. You must be a m~ask model. Halloween already? You know that hole in the middle of your face? Can you shove a sock in that? Godzilla called. He wants~ his hair back. Look, it’s not~ that I don’t like you.. It’s just.. Your vo~ice is literally the most annoying thing on Earth.


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  • Random snob: Don’t try to mess with me… I have a mouth and I’m not afraid to use it. Me: No wonder you are fat.


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  • A graceful taunt is worth a thousand insults.


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  • There are two insults no human being will endure: that he has no sense of humor, and that he has never known trouble.


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  • No need to insult you anymore, your presence in this world has done it all.


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  • Hey do you want a mint? – Nah I’m okay. N~o seriously buddy, just take the mint and do us all a favor.

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  • My face hurts from pretending to like you.~ How about a cup of shut up.


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  • Keep talking behind my back and that’s where you’ll always be.


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  • Yes, we all sneeze, and that’s hard to avoid, but maybe it’s the time you work on making it sound less like an elephant trumpeting in agony.


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  • If you can’t ignore an insult, top it; if you can’t top it, laugh it off; and if you can’t laugh it off, it’s probably deserved.


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  • And I thought I had problems? Look at your face

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  • Ummm a three letter word that describes you… DUH!!


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  • Well, they do say opposites attract…so I s~incerely hope you meet somebody who is attractive, honest, intelligent, and cultured.


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  • Sure, I’d love to help you out…now, which ~ay did you come in


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  • Sure, I’ve seen people like you before ~– but I had to pay an admission.


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  • Keep talking, someday you’ll say something intelligent, like on the 30th of February.


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  • Don’t worry there are millions like you out there

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  • You don’t have enough qualities to be insulted by me.


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  • You look at me, you judge me then you imitate me. I look at you and I laugh.


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  • Whatever is wrong with you, it’s n~ot a small thing!


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  • Person one: You look nice today ~Person two: Can’t say the same about you Person three: Just do what he did and lie!


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  • I may be fat, but I can exercise, you can’t fix ugly!


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  • An injury is much sooner forgotten than an insult.


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  • If brains were taxed, you’d get a rebate.

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  • All day I thought of you…I was at the zoo.

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  • You can’t fix stupid.

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  • Hi there, I’m a human being! What are you

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  • Your common sense is so rare it should be in a museum.


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  • I love to hear you talk- the white noise is very relaxing.


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  • Where did you get your hair done

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  • When they gave out looks, you heard they’re giv~ing out books. So you said: “Give me something funny


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  • Your teeth are so dirty they even h~ave their own theme song “Black and Yellow


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  • To force a man to pay for the violation of his o~wn liberty is indeed an addition of insult to injury.

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  • Never insult an alligator until you’ve crossed the river.


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  • If you took an IQ test, the results would be negative.


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  • I’d agree with you, but then we’d both be wrong.

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  • Think before you speak, it’ll sa~ve you the humiliation.


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  • I see you playing stupid.! Looks~ like you’re winning.


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  • Roses are red, violets are blue, I w~as born beautiful, what happened to you


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  • Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.


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  • Brains aren’t everything. In fact in your case they’re nothing.


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  • Think before you speak, it’ll save you the humiliation.


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  • I see you playing stupid.! Looks like you’re winning.


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  • Roses are red, violets are blue, I was born beautiful, what happened to you?


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  • Some cause happiness wh~erever they go; others whenever they go.


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  • Brains aren’t everythin~g. In fact in your case they’re nothing.


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  • I like you. You remi~nd me of when I was young and stupid.


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  • If you’re gonna be two faced.. At least try to make one pretty.


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  • Are you always this stupid or are you making a special effort today?


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  • I have met a lot of hard boiled eggs in my time, but you’re twenty minutes.


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  • Don’t let you mind wander – it’s far too small to be let out on its own.


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  • You’re so fake, Barbie is jealous.


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  • Even rabbits insult a~ dead lion.

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  • Insults should be written in sand, compl~iments should be carved in stone.


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  • I won’t insult your intelligence by suggestin~g that you really believe what you just said.


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  • He doesn’t know the meaning of the word “fear” – but then again he doesn’t know the meaning of most words.


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  • The most effective comeback to an insult is silence.


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  • Shouldn’t you have a license for being that ugly?

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  • Your village just called. They’re missing an idiot.


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  • For the love of God, do you at lea~st remember what you were doing the day they were passing out common sense?


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  • They just ran out of brains by the~ time you got there, so they gave you a nice wood carving instead.


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  • Anybody who told you to be your~self simply couldn’t have given you worse advice.


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  • Calling you an idiot would be an insult to all the stupid people.


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  • My door is always open for you so feel free to leave.


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  • You have the perfect face… For radio

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  • I would slap or punch you , but~ that’s animal abuse.


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  • Don’t hate me because I~’m beautiful, hate me because your boyfriend thinks I am.


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  • I’m sorry, I’m a little bu~sy. Can I ignore you later?


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  • I don’t know what make~s you so dumb but it really works.


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  • I’d love to ask how old you are,~ but unfortunately I know you can’t count that high.


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  • Your silence has grammatical errors.
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  • Depression: Knowing when you gave your all for that person and all you can do is think of the ‘wonderful’ moments spent forgetting the hard times and forgiving the ones who REALLY broke your heart, embracing the ones who try to fix it, and finding the one who wants to heal it…but as life goes on you find it harder to forgive than forget, hold on than to let go, love what you hated and hate what you loved…and all you think about is what went wrong? Was it you, or him, chose life or death, love or hate…It’s never the same.


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    • The only thing more exhausting than being depressed is pretending that you’re not.

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    • Almost everyone is overconfident- – except the people who are depressed, and they tend to be realists.

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    • Pain is always emotional. Fear and depression keep constant company with chronic hurting.

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    • Perhaps depression is caused by asking oneself too many unanswerable questions.

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    • Depression is nourished by a lifetime of ungrieved and unforgiven hurts

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    • In a strange way, I had fallen in love with my depression.

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    • What doesn’t kill you makes you wish you were dead. What doesn’t destroy you leaves you broken instead

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    • Depression is feeling dead but not being able to die.

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    • Cause I swear that I’m dying, slowly but its happening.

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    • Creative people are more prone to depression.

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    • Please don’t ask me what’s wrong because I don’t know the answer either.

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    • Depression is having the feeling of someone whispering in your ear and telling you that you are worthless. Every time you make a mistake, you keep getting reminded of it; it’s never painless. From these mistakes, it makes you reckless. Now you ask yourself, is my life priceless or worthless?

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    • I say there’re no depressed words just depressed minds.

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    • Depression is when you have lots of love, but no one’s taking.

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    • I find nothing more depressing than optimism.
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    • Curing the depression won’t change lifelong habits for most people.

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    • I can feel the hurt. There’s something good about it. Mostly it makes me stop remembering.

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    • There are wounds that never show on the body that are deeper and more hurtful than anything that bleeds.

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    • Depression is like being lost at sea, there is nothing in sight yet you still keep swimming not to live but to survive, forever swimming looking for some one, some thing to hold on too, you finally reach an island in sight just as the sun arises you awake and it is a new day and you find yourself swimming yet again forever searching for that something burdened by the brief moment of false happiness of having found that something, someone, to hold on to, to save you of your forever search called life.

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    • Laying in your bed and closing your eyes can be a perilous thing. Your mind is running, and circumstance that you don’t want to recall appear. You try to fall asleep, but the thoughts abstain you from sleeping. It’s like having a ringing noise resonate through your entire mind. You want to shut it off, but you can’t. Now you are just laying there with no hope in mind.

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    • Would you like to know how I feel? Have you ever had a nightmare in which you’re so scared that you try and scream so loud for someone to save you, but not a sound comes out of your lips? That’s how I feel everyday, all day. I need a huge non-judgmental, sincere, no strings attached, no questions asked, from someone, anyone. Hug !! But I don’t want to ask for it, but I’m praying so hard that you will do it on your own.

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    • Everyone is depressed, some are just better at hiding it than others. Source : 
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    • Being negative only causes depression. So hold your head up high, put a smile on your face and go live a positive life.

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    • Even when I’m sick and depressed, I love life.
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    • Depression is unfocused self- pity.

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    • You handle depression in much the same way you handle a tiger.

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    • A lot of people don’t pay attention ~to a tropical depression at first.

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    • 92% of acne suffers are depressed.

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    • I’m what you call a Depression sailor.
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    • Depression is close to me, but suicide hasn’t been.

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    • Depression is close to me, but suicide hasn’t been.

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    • I’m just tired” I answered. Yeah tired of life, disappointment, feeling like I’m not worth your time or anyone’s else. But I’m just tired of life. I thought silently.

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    • All it takes is a beautiful smile to hide an injured soul and they will never notice how broken you really are.

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    • Depression is different for every person. It’s a disease that you can’t get rid of. It’s staring at the ceiling at 4:00 in the morning with your eyes burning not even trying to find motivation to close them. It’s you trying to go threw everyday trying so hard not to cry every time you’re reminded of that one thing that made you hurt so much.

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    • I can fall into a depression just to experience something new.

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    • Don’t spend your life being depressed by it. As long as you’re alive you should be thankful. There are so many people that have it wors~e than you, don’t spend your life being ignorant to that.

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    • Your pupils dilate as the room fills with dar~kness, searching for lig~ht, just as your soul dilates as your body fills with a dark emptiness in search of a light within, a reason, searching for the hole that your happiness bled from the skin you inhabit in the hopes you can patch that hole so you can slowly fill once ~again with internal light we call happiness, consciousness, hope, but most of all life.

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    • Concern should drive us into action and not into depression.

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    • If I feel depressed, I go to work. Work is always an antidote to depression.

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    • I’m depressed. But I don’t want sympathy from you.

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    • I guess I don’t really remember when my depression set in but I do remember when it started getting hard to smile.

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    • People say that it’s normal for adults and teens to have depression and they think its just sadness or crying all t~he time, but its not that at all it’s waking up everyday and wondering to yours~elf who am I why am I even here; what is even my goal i~n life and not knowing who you are. I have it for years and I don’t know m~y own strength or who I~ am anymore. I have no emotion just numbness in my heart and I don’t know what to do anymore. It feels like nobody can help.

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    • Depression is being extremely fatigued, being in bed for 1&1/2 years and being sick and brain fogged for ten y~ears because you h~ave a liver disease that costs too ~much to get the cure. No one cares. You are thrown away and told you aren’t worth the money.
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    • I think if there’s a great depression there might be some hope.

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    • Yeah. She’s smiling. But don’t l~et that fool you. Look in her eyes. She’s breaking inside.

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    • You’re so fat when you stand on the scales it reads my phone number.

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    • You’re so fat you fell in love and broke it.
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    • If I had a nickel for every smart thought you had, I’d be deeply in debt.

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    • People say you shouldn’t wear makeup cause you’re beautiful in your own way. That ain’t referring to you cause you need the whole CoverGirl collection.

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    • Talk to me when you take that permanent Halloween mask off. Oops, I did say permanent, right?

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    • Hey don’t talk aloud, you lower the IQ of the whole street.

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    • Roses are red, Violets are blue, If I had a brick I’d throw it at you.

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    • I love it when your facial expression clearly shows how much you are jealous of me.

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    • Alright… Don’t be too happy if I gave you a second look…That’s just to wonder why on earth did I even look at you the FIRST time around…! Loser

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    • LOL”…That’s what mirrors say when you leave.

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    • Your face reminds me of the sun. You hurt my eyes.

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    • Don’t feel sad, don’t feel blue… Frankenstein was Ugly too.

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    • Damn b*tch replace your chapstick with a glue stick and shut the f*** up

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    • To be honest, your face is uglier than my brother’s feet.

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    • If you have something to say, please raise your hand and put it over your mouth! Cos I’m not listening.

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    • I can’t insult you. Why? Cause it’s rude to insult the mentally challenged.

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    • Jesus loves you, but everyone else thinks you’re an idiot.

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    • I may be fat…. But I can lose weight but you’re stuck with that face for the rest of your life!

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    • They say arguing with an idiot makes two of them so, I’ll just leave you alone on this one.

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    • The best insult is still and will always be… “Oh”.

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    • I don’t know what you’re problem is. . . But I’m pretty sure it’s because you’re too dumb to realize you don’t know what your problem is.

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    • Please go bore someone else with your existence.

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    • My teacher asked me to define the word “idiot”… So I just said your name.

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    • You know that thing you do when you move your mouth and talk? Stop doing that, it’s annoying.

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    • Because of you, they put the word failure in the dictionary.

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    • Roses are red, Violets are blue, Your face is making me cry, So please spare the view.

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    • Boy, you must have fell outta the stupid tree and hit every branch comin’ down!

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    • Go check your weight & you’ll see you phone number there!

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    • I hope karma slaps you in the face before I do.
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    • I thought monkeys used to stay at the zoo until I saw you at the mall.

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    • If ugliness was electricity…you could power the entire universe.

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    • Intelligence must be your worst nightmare.

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    • If brains were money, you’d be broke.
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    • Shhh, Can you hear how much nicer it sounds when you AREN’T talking??

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    • It’s not that I’m insensitive, I just don’t care.
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    • At the end of the day…you’re just a speck of dirt I wipe off the table.

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    • Every time I see you..it reminds me of a song “Just the way you are” and “2012″ cause “when I see your face…, it’s like the end of the world”

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    • You were pretty until your “30 Day” Photoshop trial expired.

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    • Insult is a sin which is done by some people who do not know the meaning of feelings.

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    • Let’s play hide and seek. You hide and I won’t seek.

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    • You really are 31 flavors of dumb aren’t you.
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    • Hating me won’t make you pretty.

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    • You’re so fat… When you take a shower, your feet don’t get wet.

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    • Let’s play hide and seek…you hide and never come in front of me.

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    • Want to tell that your attitude doesn’t fit on your toilet face.

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    • I understand why your girl friend is reluctant to kiss you.

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    • SHUT UP!!!!! YOU will NEVER be the man your MOM is

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    • I like your approach, now lets see your departure.

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    • Are you that stupid or am I getting smarter
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    • I didn’t insult you I described you.
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    • You might change your face with a surgery, but what about your brain

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    • People like you make me scared to have children.

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    • Man 1: What are you lookin’ at? Man 2: I dunno but it’s looking back at me.

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    • You’re so fat even dora can’t explore you.
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    • He has a personality that lights up a room … When he walks out

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    • Don’t worry your ugliness is not contagious.

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    • Roses are red, violets are blue, God made me pretty, what the hell happened to you

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    • Stupidity is not a crime so you are free to go.

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    • You’re so fat that when you went to the beach, you were the only one who got tanned.

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    • You’re so fat you fell into the grand canyon and got stuck.

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    • Why don’t you go and drink a big glass of shut the f*** up

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    • Finally, something you are good at. Being stupid.
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    • There are levels of ugliness which are acceptable….but looking at you….that is illegal.

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    • You look so good, when the light’s out.
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    • You are very much like an egg that cannot be a chicken anymore.

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    • Hey! somebody is arguing with me here that there are no more monkeys…send me your photo for him to see one!

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    • You are so ugly you make gorilla jealous.
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    • I hear you are kind to animals, so give that gorilla his face back.

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    • Oh! I see. When they said brains, you thought they said trains, and you wanted a slow one.

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    • There are no stupid questions, just stupid people asking questions.

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    • Does this dress make me look fat? Hell no!! It’s the fat that makes you look fat

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    • Your not retarded… You’re just mentally slow.

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    • ou’re so fat, you don’t need the internet. You’re already world- wide!

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    • When God was handing out brains, you thought he said “trains” and asked him for a slow one

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    • I can loose the weight… You’re stuck with the face.

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    • If I throw a stick will you leave? As fa as distance is concerned it is easier to go over you than around. When God said let there be light he asked you to move out of the way.

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    • The construction of my rock building ran a stone short Can you lend me your head?

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    • A mirror would not be adorable when it’s reflecting you.

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    • I see that you are still wearing that chewed raw, dog’s a** looking thing that you call a face, around like you’re proud of it.

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    • I’m not insulting you. I’m describing you!

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    • You know, when you open your mouth and start to say something, I already know it would be something stupid and irritating.

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    • You’re so ugly.. even listeners would get scared if you worked in a radio station.

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    • They’re not laughing with you, they’re laughing at you.
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    • Haven’t I seen you someplace before? Yeah, that’s why I don’t go there anymore.

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    • Insulting you would be making mere understatements.

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    • Oh my gosh, what is that thing on the front of your head. Oh wait, it’s your face. Sorry my bad.

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    • I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn’t it.

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    • I have never understood why your head is so big. I mean there is nothing in there.

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    • Life is full of disappointments, One of them is YOU!

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    • He is living proof that man can live without a brain!

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    • Everyday I see you face I am more and more convinced that man did come from monkey.

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    • I’d love to stay and chat, but you are a complete idiot.

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    • When I first met you I thought you wer~e “special” now I know you are!

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    • Are you comfortable with this face?

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    • I won’t insult your intelligence; its pretty obvious you don’t possess any.

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    • I have nothing but respect for you – and not much of that.

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    • Boy: If there is a greater power, why is it he can’t get you a new sweater? Girl: Because, he’s too busy looking for your brain.

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    • Nothing is more insulting to the critics tha~n a smile and a don’t care attitude because it defeats their whole purpose to demean you.

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    • If you don’t talk no one will realize how stupid you are.

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    • I would insult your intelligence, b~ut that would mean you had some to begin with.

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    • Girl: I like your smile Boy: Thanks Girl: It reminds me of a song Boy: What song? Girl: Black and Yellow

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    • No pets allowed in the Hotel! Why did your friend bring you?

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    • Were you dropped on your head when you were a baby or are you just naturally stupid?

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    • Where did you graduate again? The university of DUH??

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    • Trying to find what is ugliness? Then searc~h no more, you’re a perfect definition of it.

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    • I’m not shy I just don’t like you.
    • 44After being around you, I have learne~d something new. I never knew that brain had an off switch

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    • Please remind me again, what time do your senses return?

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    • Person 1: Hey, I really liked the mask you wore at the Halloween party, really scary. Person 2: Wait, what mask? Person 1: Oh. Nothing.

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    • You are such a good person… When you are asleep.444
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    • I’m sorry, you got a face that Photos~hop can’t fix!

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    • I don’t want to be mean but you need Listerine, not a s~ip or a swallow but the whole damn bottle.:

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    • So you don’t like my cloth~es… That’s OK. At ~least I can change clothes, you’re stuck with that face for the rest of your miserable life.

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    • Nice cologne. Must you marinate in it?
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    • If I’m ugly, then we must be twins. Forget the ugly STICK; you must’ve been born in the forest!!!! Were you born on the highway? Because that is where the most accidents happen. Guy: FAIL!!! Me: Please, I don’t have T~IME to listen to your whole life story. Guy: Will you ever grow a brain? Me: When you stop being ugly.

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    • You are so ugly, when you look in the mirror your reflection throws up!

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    • If stupidity was an illness you’d~ be dead by now.

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    • Your face looks like hell. Or~ Mexico I can’t tell.]

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    • Flirting isn’t cheating’s ugly ~cousin. You are.

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    • Yo mama so fat when she! walks in front of the TV, I missed 7 episodes! Yo mama so fat when she walked outside she sunk to the core of the earth.

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    • Saw this on vest of a motorcycle rider on a calif. freeway Could you drive any better If that phone Was up your a

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    • Oh were you talking to me? Sorry, I was to busy ignoring you.

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    • It’s normal for an abnormal person to do abnormalities… Why am I expecting perfect from you

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    • You aren’t ugly… You just look better !with a bag over your head.

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    • Drama is a Disease, Get well soon.

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    • If you want sympathy from me look it up in the dictionary, it’s between sh*t and syphilis.

    • ============================

    • Just don’t say anything stupid. Sorry, that should be… Just don’t say anything, stupid.

    • ============================

    • You looked like something worth investing in, but so did Enron at the time.

    • ============================

    • You can’t heal stupid.
    • ============================

    • I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with yo!u, I’m just saying that I am more of a composed lady as compared to you.

    • ============================

    • He was a modest man, with much to be m~ode!st about. Source : 
    • ============================

    • When you die, please donate your brain to som!eo~ne cos it was never used in your whole life.

    • ============================
    • You can be nice to someone & they will still f!orget you, but insult them and they will never forget it.

    • ============================
    • It’s not Halloween, honey, so change the costume.
    • ============================
    • You’re so ugly it took a team of s!cientists to figure out if you’re a boy, girl or a fat monkey.
    • ============================
    • 60,000 sperms, and you won
    • ============================

    • Make someone happy, mind your own business.

    • ============================
    • I don’t know what your problem is but I’ll bet it’s hard to pronou~ce. The voices in my head tell me you have serious issues. Just becau~se no- one understands you, that doesn’t make you an artist.

    • ============================
    • I thought the wizard promised y~ou a brain.

    • ============================
    • If I left you would you cry for me?~ Of course, I can’t control the tears of joy.

    • ============================

    • Some babies are dropped on their head but you were clearly thrown at the wall.

    • ============================

    • If they say you’re ugly, take it as a compliment. If they say you’re beautiful, take it as an insult.

    • ============================

    • Yo momma is so thin that her wedding ring sizes two of her fingers.

    • ============================

    • Don’t flatter yourself I was looking at you~r friend.

    • ============================
    • Yo mama is so short you can see her feet ~on her driving license.

    • ============================

    • The whole day I was thinking of you (I was at~ the hospital for abnormal kids

    • ============================

    • You are an evolutionary defect.
    • ============================

    • Ever looked in a mirror? Oh, wait. You ~broke them all. God loves stupid people and he especially loves you.

    • ============================
    • F*** you, and anybody that looks like you!.

    • ============================
    • I would take a picture of you, but just focusi~ng my lens on you made my camera break.

    • ============================
    • Roses are red, violets are blue, but everyone knows I’m hotter than you.

    • ============================

    • Is that your face or is it Halloween today?

    • ============================
    • The greatest danger of your life is your own stupidity.

    • ============================
    • You make me want to eat s*** every time I see you.

    • ============================
    • When I say I can’t, I clearly mean it. When I say I don’t it’s true so don’t keep repeating on your nonsense question.

    • ============================

    • You say you’re old-school, I say you’re just plain old.

    • ============================

    • Have a nice plate if sh**. Oh, sorry, you smell like you had some already.

    • ============================

    • Oh my gosh! Somebody call the zoo and tell them that there is a Gorilla on the loose

    • ============================

    • I’m sorry. Were you talking to me?

    • ============================
    • I’ll pretend you didn’t say that.

    • ============================
    • Fat girls like hashtags(#) because they look like waffles.

    • ============================
    • You are physically, intellectually, psychologically, socially spiritually mentally dotish !

    • ============================

    • That was so corny I could have ate it.
    • ============================

    • Awww!!! That is so cute… Do you really think I care

    • ============================

    • Nostradamus predicted you’d be a loser.

    • ============================
    • I hope you are hungry…you’re about to eat a heaping plate of shame.

    • ============================

    • You’re not as stupid as you sound, & you’re not as dumb as you look.

    • ============================

    • Terribly sorry, I don’t speak stupidnese.

    • ============================
    • Your mama’s so fat that when she jumped in the air she got stuck.

    • ============================

    • I knew I smelled onions…close your mouth
    • ============================

    • You are the best fool I’ve ever met.
    • ============================

    • I would rather jump off a plane than hear you say one more stupid thing. When someone tells you something does it just go in one ear and out the other? That would explain all the “Huh?’s” I hear in class. You look like your mom dropped you a lot when you were little… On your face.

    • ============================

    • Wow you should have your own TV show… “The ugly and the clueless”.

    • ============================

    • Before scientists start finding other intelligent life forms on other planets, they should start with your form first.

    • ============================

    • Gee you fell outta the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down.

    • ============================

    • Hair is normally made up of dead skin cells. Yours are comprised entirely of dead brain cells.

    • ============================

    • The science department called, they wanted to know if you’d donate your body to research. They said blue whales are a rare breed.

    • ============================

    • If you don’t have anything nice to say don’t say anything at all. If that’s true I have nothing to say.

    • ============================

    • Person 1: You know what I like about you? Person 2: No what? Person 1: Oops never mind wrong person.

    • ============================

    • How’s that karma tasting? Not so good
    • ============================

    • You better shut up before I knock you into next year so I don’t have to deal with you this year.

    • ============================

    • I feel dumber just from listening to you.
    • ============================
    • Girl, you’re so fake, barbie wants you for Christmas.

    • ============================

    • Stop talking to yourself, I’m not interested.
    • ============================

    • Don’t flatter yourself, honey. The only fan you have is on the ceiling.

    • ============================
    • Oh look?? I found your nose all up in. My damn business again

    • ============================

    • You want me to go to hell? I don’t think I am ready for a visit to your home yet.

    • ============================

    • Who do you think you’re? Stink bug.
    • ============================

    • If you think you’re gorgeous, then Steve Martin is Kellan Lutz.

    • ============================

    • A member of Parliament to Disraeli: ‘Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease.’ That depends, Sir,’ said Disraeli, ‘whether I embrace your policies or your mistress.’

    • ============================

    • She’s so ugly she looks like the south end of a north bound horse.

    • ============================

    • Hey… How’s that Hope, and Change thing working for you?

    • ============================

    • My office- mate has a bad breath…and I asked him…”What is the brand of the tooth paste you’re using

    • ============================

    • A Texan told me it took him three days to drive from one side of his ranch to the other…I told him I had a car like that once!

    • ============================

    • You so fat god can’t even lift your spirit to heaven. You so ugly when you look at the mirror your reflection throws up.

    • ============================

    • Move On. I only looked interested.
    • ============================

    • Halloween’s over you can take your mask off now.
    • ============================
    • You sir, are an idiot.
    • ============================
    • Your house is so small, you had to eat a large pizza outside. Your mom is so skinny she had to tie knots on both her legs to make knees. You so skinny you could do push- ups under the door.

    • ============================

    • Dear so and so, Remind me why we are friends again I don’t even like you.

    • ============================

    • Wow! that’s your face? it looks like somebody jumped off the ugly plane and landed right in front of me

    • ============================

    • Dead people are to life like you are to funny

    • ============================
    • You’re so cheesy, you make a fondue look bad
    • ============================

    • I heard you were supposed to get brain surgery… But you got rejected ’cause your brain was too small to operate on you.

    • ============================

    • If your brains were dynamite there wouldn’t be enough to blow your hat off.

    • ============================

    • You’re so ugly……The end.
    • ============================

    • No! of course you aren’t slow! you just aren’t fast I’m sorry – excuse him he suffers from a severe case of stupidity.

    • ============================
    • It’s not that I do like you I don’t! But that Halloween mask you wear is just gross! Oh wait

    • ============================

    • That’s fantastic, you’re so plastic.:

    • ============================
    • When I want your opinion, I’ll beat it out of you.

    • ============================

    • Yes sir, you’re an idiot.

    • ============================
    • I have a headache…and YES you caused it.

    • ============================
    • You are so fat that you sit next to everybody in the cinema hall.

    • ============================

    • Keep Talking…I Like Watching Your Lips Move.
    • ============================

    • Try not think of the brown paper bag over your head as a bad thing. . . It’s worse without it! Believe me! You’re actually helping others get through their day without seeing whats underneath it! Cheer up son. You’ve done us proud

    • ============================

    • The only reason I’m not in to you is because I have some taste and you are not the spice I’m looking for in my kitchen.

    • ============================

    • You’re so ugly you’d make a freight train take a dirt road

    • ============================

    • I may look interested but I’m not.
    • ============================

    • Hi there, I’m a human being! What are you? I’d insult you right now… But I was raised NOT to make fun of the mentally challenged. It looks like your face caught fire and someone tried to put it out with a fork.

    • ============================

    • If you think that I am ignoring you then you are right. I am.

    • ============================

    • You are as ugly as they get.
    • ============================

    • You are so fat that you become an unlucky day for the weighing machines! Yuck! Didn’t you know your breath is the reason for Global Warming!

    • ============================

    • You remind me of Micheal Jackson’s nose.

    • ============================
    • Oh don’t be so hard on yourself! I’m sure your soul mate is out there right now looking for you and I’ll bet her unibrow is just fluffy as yours is! Hang in there ol’ chap

    • ============================

    • When the cop stopped you and said roll down the window he thew a make- over ticket and said have a better looking day.

    • ============================

    • Sorry! I can’t think of an insult stupid enough for you! I’ll get back to you on that.

    • ============================
    • Was someone attacked by the acne monster last night? X) You’re so ugly that when you looked in the mirror your reflection screamed in fright.

    • ============================

    • Until I saw you, I didn’t think it was possible to fall off the ugly tree twice!

    • ============================
    • You look prettier when your hair is covering your face or should I say less ugly.

    • ============================
    • Being that ugly is not as easy.
    • ============================

    • If brains were gas, you wouldn’t have enough to go around the inside of a cheerio.

    • ============================
    • What a shame…looks like the ugly fairy kissed you on both cheeks.

    • ============================
    • Let’s play a game of Simon Says. I’m Simon. Simon says shut up before I call the zoo keeper to take you back.

    • ============================

    • Person 1: Your license please. Person 2: What for? Person 1: Your face.

    • ============================
    • The farmer called, he wants his cow back.
    • ============================

    • God cries when he sees your face.
    • ============================

    • You’re very pretty… Pretty ugly.

    • ============================
    • Next time you shave, try standing an inch or two closer to the blade.

    • ============================
    • You’re so dumb that when you got locked up in Tesco you starved to death.

    • ============================

    • I asked God to punish me, next day I met you.
    • ============================

    • I was going to give you a nasty look, but I see you already have one.

    • ============================
    • Don’t give up, girl! Keep chasing him! But I guess he runs away because you have a beautiful face in ugly people’s point of view.

    • ============================

    • I can remove 99% of your “beauty” with a baby wipe.

    • ============================

    • Stop talking. You’re making me cry. Literally. What did you eat?

    • ============================

    • Go back to your mom and ask her to teach you some manners.

    • ============================

    • Your mouth is bigger than your brain.
    • ============================

    • If beauty is only skin deep is there any chance you could turn yourself inside out.

    • ============================
    • I may be fat, but you are ugly…and I CAN lose weight!

    • ============================
    • There’s no cure for stupid.
    • ============================
    • Roses are red, Violets are blue, I’m so hot, What happened to you?

    • ============================

    • Look at me, then look at you! now tell me honey….. Who is jealous of who?

    • ============================

    • You grow on people but so does cancer.
    • ============================

    • If you were on fire with a bucket of water near you, I’d drink the water

    • ============================

    • If you’re so smart, why aren’t you rich?
    • ============================
    • B*tch, please, your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.

    • ============================
    • Don’t bother being smart, do what you do best : being stupid!

    • ============================
    • I’ve always checked the Guinness book of records with the hope of seeing your name as the greatest fool of all time. Don’t worry pal you’ll soon be noticed.

    • ============================

    • I see your point, but I still think you’re an idiot.

    • ============================

    • If I had a gun with two bullets and I was with Hitler, bin laden and you, I would shoot you twice.

    • ============================
    • You’re so ugly that when you go to an amusement park every one runs away.

    • ============================


    • Wow! Did your mom feed you a bottle of idiocy when you were a baby?

    • ============================
    • Oh I’m sorry I was too busy not caring. Sorry I have to go I heard stupidity was contagious.

    • ============================

    • You’re so fat, when you went swimming in the ocean China claimed you as an island. You’re so fat, you chased a school bus yelling “come back with that twinky”. You’re so fat when you weigh yourself it says to be continued. You’re so ugly you don’t have to dress up on Halloween.

    • ============================

    • You are so stupid. One day I found you yelling in an envelope claiming that you are sending a voice mail! You are so tall. You are a traffic officer for airplanes!

    • ============================

    • It’s cute how stupid you are. I know how you feel. I just don’t care. It worries me how dumb you are. Your anger makes me happy. “I hate you.” “That’s good. Hate is a passionate emotion.” “I’ll give you passionate,” I muttered under my breath. “Murder, the ultimate crime of passion.” “Your mom dropped you a lot when you were a baby didn’t she,” I said. “On your head apparently.” I said under my breath. It’s cute how you think I’m listening.

    • ============================
    • You are so old you dream in black and white. You are so old your birth certificate was found among the dead sea scrolls. Your teeth are so yellow when you smile on a highway all the cars stop. I will advise you not to eat chocolate cos scientific research has shown that it is harmful to monkeys.
    • ============================

    • Like me or hate me, either way I still hate you.

    • ============================
    • You actually sounded smarter when you didn’t say anything.

    • ============================

    • I would tell you to go to hell but I don’t want to see you again.

    • ============================
    • Some people have no shame in denying the truth and defending a lie!

    • ============================
    • What would intelligence be without stupidity, see you are important.

    • ============================

    • Insult is a monstrous scorpion, and compliment is a likeable nightingale; one stings mercilessly, and the other sings sweetly.

    • ============================
    • The only positive thing about you is your HIV status.

    • ============================
    • You are so ugly that when you were born, God left this planet.

    • ============================

    • You’re the worst joke ever made.
    • ============================

    • I would so much enjoy the ticking of the clock than you telling the most important story of your life.

    • ============================
    • How can I insult you, your existence has done it all.

    • ============================

    • If you enter a competition of ugliest person alive, judges would probably say “Sorry no professionals

    • ============================

    • I’m not saying you’re ugly, I’m just saying you’re about 8 beers away from being my type.

    • ============================
    • Cool story bro, wanna hear mine, its a fairytale, once upon a time nobody gave a sh*t about what you said.

    • ============================

    • You’re so ugly that on Halloween you don’t even have to dress up.

    • ============================

    • Don’t feel special, I only keep your number in my phone so I know not to answer when you call.

    • ============================

    • Your mind is on vacation and your mouth is working overtime.

    • ============================

    • Hey aren’t you suppose to be in the zoo right now?

    • ============================
    • You are so ugly. Oh I am sorry ~I was trying so hard to look like you.

    • ============================
    • You are so ugly even Rip~leys ~could not believe it.

    • ============================

    • You’re so ugly, you’re the reason why waldo is hiding!

    • ============================

    • Think you’re cool? look at my cat!

    • ============================
    • Oh, I really enjoy your Frankenstein mask. Isn’t it a little too early for Halloween though? Oh wait, that’s your face!

    • ============================
    • I’m working so hard on tr~ying to ignore you.
    • ============================

    • I don’t hate you because you’re ugly. You~’re ugly because I hate you.

    • ============================

    • Pupil: Teacher I don’t think I~ deserve a zero in this test. Teacher: Me too…but that’s the lowest score I could give you. Pupil: Oh ok.

    • ============================

    • I never thought I’d see someone u~glier than you, that was until I met your mother.

    • ============================

    • If I were you, I’d keep the makeup on.
    • ============================

    • I’d slap you, but that’d be animal abuse.
    • ============================

    • If you were twice as wise you are now, you’d probably still be stupid!

    • ============================
    • In state of a bag, I’ll be a Gucci bag and you’ll be an eye bag.

    • ============================

    • Whenever I see your face, I feel like I am having a bad dream.

    • ============================

    • There’s Photoshop, auto tune, & plastic s~urgery. Too bad there’s nothing for your ugly personality.

    • ============================

    • If ugliness was measured in bricks, you woul~d be the great wall of China.

    • ============================
    • Your beautician should be having the toughes~t job in the world.

    • ============================

    • I want to thank you for your obviously deep~ly considered and articulate comments. With that said, I don’t give a particular damn

    • ============================

    • Here suck on a lemon they’re not as bitter.
    • ============================

    • If I had a hundred dollars for everything stupid you say, I’d be rich. Like. Stupid rich.

    • ============================
    • Your life story would not make a g~ood book. Don’t even try.

    • ============================
    • You got a wound on your face…owh s~orry it’s your nose.

    • ============================

    • He’s not stupid; he’s possessed b~y a retarded ghost.

    • ============================
    • Everyone deserves a happy ending, except you, I hate you.

    • ============================

    • I dislike you with all my heart.
    • ============================

    • When you’re here people feel a lot more better about themselves.

    • ============================

    • I took a pain pill… Why are you still here
    • ============================
    • I’m not quiet. I just don’t like you. Snob: My mom is so stupid! Me: The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. I don’t know what’s wrong with you, but I don’t think you can pronounce it. Girl: Have I ever told you how much I love you? Boy: No, how much? Girl: Um…sorry, you don’t kn~ow what negative numbers are. Boy: Am I annoying? Girl: No Boy: Am I stupid? Girl: No Boy: Am I ugly? Girl: No Boy: Yippee! Girl: You’re not ann~ying, you drive me crazy, you’re not stupid, you’~re retarded, you’re ~not ugly, you’re disgusting. The best insults of all time are “Oh” and just silence.

    • ============================
    • The ugly police just called an~d said they have an warrant out for your arrest.

    • ============================

    • You wanna cookie? Well too bad, they don’t want you.

    • ============================

    • Is it just me, or do you have two faces?
    • ============================

    • I am not an antisocial… I j~ust hate you.

    • ============================
    • I have an attitude problem, to learn more call: 1-800- EAT DIRT

    • ============================
    • Hey stop. The person who lend ~you his brain is worried. You know, worried that it might get damaged.

    • ============================

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