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Latest best jokes in hindi 2016



  • santa -aaj mane basanti ko nhate hue dekha Banta-mai tera khun pi jaunga santa- wo nha rha tha aur wo ja rhi thi

  • ==============================
  • Santa & banta rajai me so rahe the to santa bola yaar banta paad maar or rajai garam karde _
  • Banta ne rajai me tatti kardi or bola:le aag hi laga di hath sek le

  •  ==============================
  • Oh God, She Smokes
  • Wisky Dekhi
  • Oh God, She Drinks
  • Fr Ldke Ko Dekha
  • Thnx God,
  • Ye Sb Iska ha

  • ==============================
  • Oh God, She Smokes
  • Wisky Dekhi
  • Oh God, She Drinks
  • Fr Ldke Ko Dekha
  • Thnx God,
  • Ye Sb Iska ha
  • ==============================

  • Santa news paper padh rha tha,
  • Ye kya
  • U.P. ko 4 hisso me kr diya jayega?

  • Banta-Bhai jis ghar me aurat ki chalti h,
  • waha yahi hota h.

  • ==============================
  • Santa got a invitation of party
  • Usme likha tha Pink Tie Only

  • Santa jab party me gaya to logo ne pant shirt b pehena tha..
  • ==============================
  • A sweet girl goes 2 Bantaz shop
  • and said: Mujhe underwear dikhao.

  • Banta sharmate hue: Aaj pehan kr nhi aya

  • ==============================

  • Sardar Sent A Sms 2 His Pregnant Wife.

  • Two Seconds Later A Report Came
  • To His Phone And He Started Dancing

  • ==============================
  • santa:yaar tujhe itni chot kese lagi? banta:main ek bus main jarahatha mere hath se photo gir gaya to ek aort ne photo k upar khadi hogai to mene kaha suniye anti g aap apni sadi jara uthao to  mujhe photo lena hai  

  • ==============================

  • Santa: If I drink coffee, I can't sleep.

  • Banta: With me it's the opposite. If I sleep, I can't drink coffee. :o)

  • ==============================
  • tEaChEr: "wHaT Is tHiS" ?? , 
  • SaNtA : "ThIs iS My bAcK GrOuNd mUsIc" :D

  •  ==============================

  • Mother: Santa Tum 18 Years ki larki dekhar Shadi karlo
  • Santa: 2 bahu lekar ghar aata hai
  • Mother: Kya hua?
  • Santa: 18 ki mili nahi to 9 - 9 ki 2 se shadi karli

  • ==============================
  • SANTA-Bhiga sa lagta h Alam mujhe
  • Bhigi si lagti h subah mujhe
  • Bhiga lag raha h sara jaha mujhe
  • BANTA-uth sale,bistar pr susu kr dia h tune

  • ==============================
  • Ultimate logic of Santa
  • Banta: What is the opposite of 'Achaar'?
  • Santa: Onion.
  • Banta: How?
  • Achaar = Pickle = Pee+kal.
  • So opposite of 'Pee+kal' is 'Pee+aaj' = Onion.

  • ==============================
  • santa grlfrnd ko ghar le gya

  • sab darwaze,khirkiyan ,band kar di

  • light off kr k

  • uske pas aya or bola:
  • .
  • Dekho meri watch m light jalti hai??
  • santa alwyz rocks.

  • ==============================
  • Santa apni biwi ko maar raha tha..
  • ek admi ne pucha kyu maar rahe ho ??

  • Santa : Docter ne kaha hai, isko dawai koot ke deni hai.

  • ==============================

  • Santa Ki Patni - Raat Ko Mobile Charging Me kyo laga rahe ho, Blast Ho skta he..
  • Santa - Tu tension na le, maine Battery Nikal Di Hai. 

  • ==============================
  • Snta sharab pi kr bus main charh gaya
  • Bnta-Tum NARAK k raste pr jaa rahe ho
  • Santa-"OY roko roko Bus roko mai ghalat bus
  • mai suwar ho gaya 
  • ==============================
  • Bhikari-Aapke Padosi Ne Muje Pet Bharke Khana Khilaya H!
  • Aap B Kuch Khilao?
  • Santa-Ye Lo Hajmola Sab Hajam ho jayega.

  •  ==============================

  • Santa got call from AAJ TAK. They asked him-Kya Aap Anna Hazare K Sath He...?
  • He said- O Nai Gi, mai to Girlfriend k sath hu.

  • ==============================
  •  

  • Sir: Muhavre Ka Istemal Karo
  • "Muh Me Pani Aana".

  • Santa: Jaise Hi Maine Nal Ko Muh Laga K Nal Chalu Kiya,
  • Mere Muh Mai Pani Aa Gaya.

  • ==============================

  • Santa Taklu Hai..
  • Phir Bhi Wo Roz Saloon Jata Hai
  • Kyu...???Dimag Lagao
  • Simple Yaarm
  • Kyu Ke

  • Saloon Santa Ka Hai....!! 
  • ==============================

  • Boy Calld FM Radio & Said-I Found a Walet Wid 15000 & ID Of Mr.Santa Singh
  • RJ-U Wnt 2 Retrn His Walet
  • Boy-No I Wanna Dedicte Him a Sad Song. 
  • ==============================
  • Santa ki 10 betiya thi phir ja
  • kar uske ghar ek beta hua.
  • Santa ne uska naam kya rakha hoga?

  • ==============================

  • Santa-Tumne itne chhote-Chhote baal Q katwaye?
  • Banta-Naai k paas 3 rupye khulle nahi the,to main bola 3 rupay ke aur kaat de
  • ==============================
  • Santa- Mere 3 bete enginear ban gye, Lekin kambakht ek DAAKU ban gaya.  Banta- To use ghar se nikal do.  Santa- Yahi to dikkat hai, Kama k wahi lata hai...''

  •  ==============================

  • 'Banta:Chaku Kyo Ubaal Rahe Ho?.
  • Santa: Suicide Karne Ke Liye..
  • BANTA: Phir Ubaalne Ki Kya Zarurat
  • SANTA: Kahi Infection Na Ho Jaye :P.... 

  • ==============================
  • 'SANTA-: Aaj maine machar ko confused kar diya.
  • BANTA-:wo kaise?..
  • SANTA-: Maine machardani bedroom main laga diya...
  • Aur main hall me so gaya,'
  • ==============================

  • 'Santa :- aaj TV pe 30 feet ka Saap dikhange.
  • banta :- par me nahi dekh sakunga..
  • santa :- par kyo?...
  • banta :- mera TV to shirf 21 Inch ka hi :P...

  • ==============================

  • SANTA Apne Dost Se: Tera Bhai AajKal Kya Kar Rha He?
  • BANTA: 1 Dukan Kholi Thi, Par ab Jail Me He.

  • S: Wo Kyu?
  • B: Dukan HATHODE Se Kholi Thi.

  •  ==============================

  • SANTA Apne Dost Se: Tera Bhai AajKal Kya Kar Rha He?
  • BANTA: 1 Dukan Kholi Thi, Par ab Jail Me He.

  • S: Wo Kyu?
  • B: Dukan HATHODE Se Kholi Thi.
  • ==============================

  • Santa takes a blade n writes his grlfrnd's name on his arms and
  • 5 minute baad jor jor se rota hai,

  • banta: Q ro rha h,

  • santa:abey,

  • spelling galat ho gayi

  • ==============================

  • Santa: Mujhe Sanskrit Sikha do
  • Pndit: Q?
  • Snta: Devtao ki Bhasha H,
  • Swarg Me Zrurt Padegi.
  • Pndit: Agr Narak Gya To?
  • Snta: Galiya To Aati Hai.

  • ==============================

  • Judge-Tum par cycle chori ka ilzaam sabit nahi hua,
  • Lihaza tumko baa-izzat bari kiya jata hai
  • Santa- Iska matlab mai Wo Cycle rakh lu..?
  • ==============================

  • Snta: Goa ja rha hu,Bus se bv ko khai me gira dunga.
  • Bnta:Meri b leja,Use b gira dena
  • Snta:Ok,Agr tu bura na maane to use wapsi pe gira Du? 

  • ==============================

  • Sardar ko 1000ka note mila,Jispe likha tha,HAPPY NEW YEAR
  • Usne apni jeb se 1000ka note nikala uspe
  • SAME2U
  • likha,or wahi pe rakh k chala gya.

  • ==============================

  • Santa (Ladki ko chhedte hue)- Hor soniye ki hal hai?

  • Ladki (Gusse mein)-Jo teri behan ka hai.

  • Santa (Hass kar)-Woh toh pregnent hai. 

  • ==============================

  • Jailor= tum kis jurm me aye ho?
  • Santa= kuch khas bat nahi, bharat sarkar se competition ho gaya ta
  • Jilor= kis bat ka?
  • Snta= note chhapne ka 

  • ==============================

  • 1din santa bazar gaya,
  • 1chor uska mobile lekar bhag gya.
  • Santa piche bhaga fir ruk gya or chilaya,
  • Leja kute chargr lene ayega na tab pkdunga .

  •  ==============================

  • Santa sir ne exam ke liye,Question Paper banaya
  • socho question kaise hoge.
  • 1.India kis Desh me hai?
  • 2.Mumtaz ki Qabar main Kon
  • Dafan hai?
  • ==============================
  • Santa son - Papa agr apko 100 and 50 Rs. raste me pde mile to ap kaun sa note uthaoge
  • Santa-100 ka?
  • Son-Isiliye ap pe joke bnte h, dono b to uta skte ho

  •  ==============================

  • Santa_Bhai Aaj To Chaye Pine Ka Maja Aa Gaya.
  • Banta Ki Beti- UNCLE JI, AGAR BILLI Ne Dudh Me Muh Na Mara Hota To AUr Bhi Maja Aata. 

  • ==============================
  • Santa:I am a proud father,
  • My son is in medical college,
  • Banta: What is he studying?,
  • Santa: He is not studying, they R studying him.

  • ==============================

  • Santa to Banta-1 Gud News 1 Bad News.
  • Gud News.
  • Meri biwi ka ACCEDENT ho gaya.

  • Banta-aur Bad News.
  • Santa-wo ek SAPNA tha .

  •  ==============================

  • Santa Public Toilet Gaya Aur 1 Ghante Baad Nikla.
  • Bahar Baitha Admi Bola-20 Rupe.
  • Snta-Saale Toilet Me Baitha Tha,
  • Cyber Cafe' Me Nahi .

  • ==============================

  • Santa Banta Ki Khub Pitai Huyi.
  • Par Q?.
  • Qki.
  • Dono B'Day Party Me Muft Ka Khana Khate Pakde Gye
  • aur.
  • Kehne Lage:Hum Ladki Walo k Taraf Se Ha.

  • ==============================

  • Santa-Meri GF Mere Dost K Sath Bhag Gayi Yaar.
  • Banta-Bahut Yaad Aati Hogi Na Uski.
  • Santa-Haa Yaar..
  • Bahut Acha Dost Tha Mera. 

  • ==============================

  • Wife: aap Bahut Mote Ho gaye ho,
  • santa: Tum b To kitni Moti Ho gai Ho,
  • wife: mai to maa Banne wali hu,
  • Santa: Mai b to Baap banne wala hu.

  • ==============================
  • Santa Se Puchha Ki-?Tum Next Janam Me Kya Ban na Pasand?Karoge?
  • Santa-? A Cockroach?.
  • Why?.
  • Bcoz Meri Wife Sirf Cockroach Se Hi Darti Hai.

  •  ==============================

  • AutoWala- Bus Stop Tak Ke 20/Rs,
  • Santa- Samaan Bhi Hai Saath Me,
  • AutoWala- Samaan Free Hai,
  • Santa- OK, Samaan Le Chal,
  • Mai Paidal Aata Hu.

  •  ==============================

  • SANTA Ne Dariya Me Dubte Huye 1Aadmi Ko Bachaya Or Thodi Der Baad Dobara Phek Diya
  • BANTA: Q?
  • SANTA: Kahawat H Yaar.
  • NEKI Kar Dariya Me Daal .

  •  ==============================

  • Maths Teacher Was Teaching,
  • Mathematical Conversions,
  • Teacher-If,
  • 1000 Kgs= Ton.
  • Then For 3000 Kgs =How Much?,
  • Santa-Ton!Ton!Ton! 
  • ==============================
  • Santa-agar tumhe 1lakh mile to kya kroge.?
  • Banta-to mai khusi se pagal ho jaunga aur.
  • zindgi bhar apna treatment karaunga.

  • ==============================
  • Santa :- aaj TV pe 30 feet ka Saap dikhange.
  • banta :- par me nahi dekh sakunga.
  • santa :- par kyo?
  • banta :- mera TV to shirf 21 Inch ka hi

  • ==============================
  • Santa-ALLAH k Naam pe Kuch de do.
  • Banta 100 ka Note Dikhate Hue Kya Tumhre Paas 50 he.
  • Bhikari Khushi se.
  • Ji ha.
  • B:To Pehle wo Kharch kar.

  •  ==============================

  • SANTA-: Aaj maine machar ko confused kar diya.
  • BANTA-:wo kaise.?
  • SANTA-: Maine machardani bedroom main laga diya aur main hall me so gaya.

  •  ==============================


  • Santa was going on a road.
  • He saw a dog sleeping under a car.
  • He pulled the dog out and said,
  • BAHAR NIKAL OYE.
  • WADDA AAYA MECHNICAL ENGINEER!

  • ==============================

  • Banta:Chaku Kyo Ubaal Rahe Ho?
  • Santa: Suicide Karne Ke Liye
  • BANTA: Phir Ubaalne Ki Kya Zarurat?
  • SANTA: Kahi Infection Na Ho Jaye. 
  • ==============================

  • SANTA at medical store:I need poison.
  • MAN:I cnt sell u.
  • until u have prescription.
  • SNTA showed his Weding card.
  • MAN:Sir badi botal du ya choti 
  • ==============================

  • Santa Yaar mE 2 mushkilon me Fass gya hu,
  • Banta: Wo koun si?
  • S:Biwi makeup kre to kharcha bardasht nhi hota,
  • aur na kare to biwi bardasht nahi hoti

  • ==============================
  • Chain msg by Santa:
  • Plz is msg ko itna frwrd kare k.

  • Meri grlfrnd tak pahuch jaye.

  • Preeto tune sim change kr k acha nai Kiya. Marja kuTTi 

  • ==============================
  • Santa read in the newspaper:
  • Micrsoft buys Skype 4 8.5bilion

  • He shook his head andsaid:
  • Idiots, they could hav downloaded it 4 free!,

  • ==============================
  • Santa-May I come in Sir..?

  • Interviewer-Wait plz..

  • Santa-75 kgs sir....!

  •  ==============================

  • Bigest joke ever in HOSPITAL..
  • DR-agar ap ise 1 ghante pehle late to ,ye bach sakta tha. .
  • -
  • SANTA-lekin accident to 15 min pehle hua hai..:-D

  • ==============================

  • SANTA-Kya Tum Pass Ho Gye
  • BANT-Hmari Puri Class Pass Ho Gyi,
  • But Hmari Madam Fail Ho Gyi.
  • SANT-Kaise
  • BANT-Wo Abhi b Usi
  • ClasS Me PadhaRhi Hai. 

  • ==============================

  • Santa-Kal Ek Aadmi Aurat Ko Peet Rha Tha, Mene Kaha Mard Se Lado
  • Banta-Fir?
  • Santa-Jab Muze Hosh Ayaa To Me Hospital Me Tha. 
  • ==============================
  • Snta:tu miror k smne baith kr kyun pdhta h?
  • Bnta:fayde hai
  • 1.Sath Me revsion ho jta h
  • 2.Khud pe nazar b rehti h
  • 3.padne k liye company mil jati h

  • ==============================

  • Santa g ka ghora race main sbse peechay tha,
  • kisi ne poocha-Santa apka ghora konsa hai?
  • Santa-O dekh jinnay sareyan nu
  • agay laya hoya ae
  • ==============================
  • santa- jadon meri navi navi shadi hoi menu meri biwi ini sohni lagdi c k dil karda c kha hi jawan.
  • Friend- aur ab???

  • Santa- kha hi jaanda te changa c

  •  ==============================

  • sante di wife sante nu--uttho ji thodi jaan gud morng kehndi aa..
  • Santa--chal chaah lai k aa..nai ta dekhi kutt kini paindi aa...

  • ==============================
  • Santa train me susu karne gya.
  • Wife: Aapka paijama gila kaise hua?
  • Santa:Waha likha tha,
  • sharir ka koi ang bahar na nikale.

  • ==============================


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