Latest Wedding Jokes 2016


  • Ek aadami Bhagwan se - Aapne bachpan cheen liya, jawani cheen lee, Paisa chhen liya , Ek biwi dee hai bhool gayee kya...

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  • Wife  agr me kho jau, to tum kya kroge husband me nirmal baba ke pas jauga wife baba se kya kahoge husband=baba kirpa aani suru ho gyi h

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  • Shaadi Ke 3 Mahine Baad Admi Ka Haalath Aise Hota Hai Jaise Usko "LIQUID OXYGEN" Mein Dubaya Gaya Ho.. LIQUID Saas Nahi Lene Degi Aur OXYGEN Marne Nahi Dega!;)

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  • Biwi to pati- kya Tum dinner karna chahte ho? Pati- Ha..ha, Lekin ye to batao khane ki cheezo me choice kya hai? Patni- Ha..ya Na..

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  • She left him on the sofa when the phone rang, and was back in a few seconds. "Who was it?" he asked. "My husband," she replied. "I better get going," he said. "Where was he?" "Relax. He'll be late, he's playing poker with you." Stewardess: I'm sorry, Mr. Smith, but we left your wife behind in London.

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  • Wife- Jab Aap Chashma Utaarte Ho Tab Handsome Dikhte Ho Husband- Ha Dear, Jab Mai Chashma Utaarta Hu Tab Tum Bhi Bahut Khoobsurat Dikhti Ho.

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  • Husband N Wife Were Fighting, Husbnd Aakhir Ma Bola: Begum Yeh Masla Humein Larai se Nahi Aqal Se Hal Karna Chahiye! Biwi Boli: Han Haan! Ta K Tum Jeet Jao:-

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  • Patni-Shadi K Pehle Aap Roz Gift Dete The,Par Ab Nahi Dete, Kyu? Golu-Kabhi Tumne Machware Ko Machli Pakdne K Baad Use Dana Dalte Dekha Hai.

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  • Wife to husband: zara kitchen se machis lana...! Husband: yahan to koi machis nahi hai... :o Wife: mujhe pata tha tum to ho he andhay tumhain milega he nahi is liye me pehle he le aayi thi..

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  • There r many brave people who alwayas want 2 be adventurous. Few choose the armed forces & fight for the nation,others get married & fight for their survival..

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  • Y do Bride's Parents need to pay Dowry in marriage.? CA STUDENT: Because Excise Duty on Production is payable at the time of Removal.

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  • There r many brave people who alwayas want 2 be adventurous. Few choose the armed forces & fight for the nation,others get married & fight for their survival..

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  • A beautiful slogan behind the car of a married man, "Please do not disturb, I am already disturbed.".

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  • Two husbands were having a conversation, First guy proudly "My wife's an angel!" Second guy: You're lucky, mine's still alive

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  • 3 Kinds of men in the World: Some remain single & make wonders happen. Some maintain girlfriends & see wonders happen. Other get married & wonder what happened.

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  • Girl To Her Boy Friend:Darling, Do You Know Handsome N Smart Boys Always Get Stupid Girl Friends.Boy: Thanks For The Compliment, Darling...

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  • Wife- dekho na wo admi muje ghur-ghur ke dekh raha hai Hus- Are WO to bhangaar wala hai, bekar MAAL per nazar rakhna uski Aadat ha

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  • Bivi gusse me- dekh lena tumko narak me bhe jagah nahi milegi. Santa-Aree thik hai waise bhi mai har jagah tere sath aana bi nhi chahta

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  • A man walks into a crowded local bar brandishing a revolver yelling "Whos been screwing my wife?" A voice from the back of the bar shouts back, "You dont have enough ammo, mate!

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  • What is the difference between POETRY and ESSAY? Any word uttered by a GIRLFRIEND is a POETRY while Anything said by a WIFE is an ESSAY.

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  • Height Of Shakkk: PATI:Mai Tumhare Sath 100 Saal Rahunga Or Pyar Krunga,Biwi: Uske Baaad Kahan Moo Marne Ka Irada He?

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  • Pati patni mandir main! Pati-tumne kya manga? Patni-Ki aap aur main saat janam saath rahe. Patni-Aur aapne. Pati-Ye mera saatwa janam ho

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  • Girl- which computer do u have? Boy- I have a computer with intel core i7 processor at 3.3 ghz, windows 7, 64 bit, 8gb ram & nvidia gtx 560 graphics card B) Boy- which computer do YOU have.. Girl- A PINK ONE...

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  • A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Wife wanted". Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine.


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  • Husband:agar meri lotery nikal aaye to tu kya karegi... Patni:mai aadhe paise leke tujse chhod cungi.... Husband:Meri 100 rs ki lotery nikli hai..... ye le 50 aur Daffa ho ja.....

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  • Husband N Wife Were Fighting, Husbnd Aakhir Ma Bola: Begum Yeh Masla Humein Larai se Nahi Aqal Se Hal Karna Chahiye! Biwi Boli: Han Haan! Ta K Tum Jeet Jao:-

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  • A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Wife wanted." Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."

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  • Marriage is really tough because you have to deal with feelings  and lawyers.

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  • Shaadi Ke 3 Mahine Baad Admi Ka Haalath Aise Hota Hai Jaise Usko "LIQUID OXYGEN" Mein Dubaya Gaya Ho.. LIQUID Saas Nahi Lene Degi Aur OXYGEN Marne Nahi Dega..

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  • A man speaks 25,000 words daily and a woman speaks 30,000. But the problem starts when husband comes home after consuming his 25,000 and wife starts her 30,000.

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  • Biwi Essay- Biwi ek faltu Musibat Hai Jo Rasoyi me Paayi jati Hai Iska Poshtik Aahar Pati ka Bheja Hai Ye Pani se Zyada Pati Ka Khoon Piti Hai.

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  • Many people say that your wedding day is the happiest day of your life. So, if that's the case, I'd like to ask the husbands amongst you, does that mean it's all downhill from here?

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  • Every Man needs a Beautiful wife, intelligent wife, caring wife, loving wife, sexy wife, adjusting & cooperative wife, but it's sad that law allows only one wife.

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  • Shaadi Ke 3 Mahine Baad Admi Ka Haalath Aise Hota Hai Jaise Usko "LIQUID OXYGEN" Mein Dubaya Gaya Ho.. LIQUID Saas Nahi Lene Degi Aur OXYGEN Marne Nahi Dega...

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  • 3 Kinds of men in the World: Some remain single & make wonders happen. Some maintain girlfriends & see wonders happen. Other get married & wonder what happened.

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  • Wife= agr me kho jau, to tum kya kroge husband=me nirmal baba ke pas jauga wife=baba se kya kahoge husband=baba kirpa aani suru ho gyi h

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  • 1Aadmi God Se Tune Bachpana Diya Cheen Liya, Jawani Di Cheen Li Paisa Diya Wapas Le Liya, Ab Ye Biwi Di He To Dekar Bhool Gaya Kya.

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  • BEFORE MARRIAGE- Roses are red, sky is blue,U r beautiful,I Luv u AFTR MARRIAGE: Roses r dead,I have flu, Dont get on my head, side ho TU.

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  • Santa: Jab Shadiyan Swarg Me Tay Hoti Hain To Nark Me Kya Tay Hota Hai? Banta: Nark Me Shadi Ke Baad Ke Din Tay Hote Hain.

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  • Wife2 husband:tu jahan-jahan chalega mera saya saath hoga.. mera saya.. mera saya.. Husband: Mujhe pehle se hi sak tha ki tu bhutni hai.
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  • Woman: When my husband left me, he said: he was going to join the army for a little peace.

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  • When you develop the ability to listen to anything unconditionally, without loosing your temper or self confidence, it means you are MARRIED..

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  • Husband N Wife Were Fighting, Husbnd Aakhir Ma Bola: Begum Yeh Masla Humein Larai se Nahi Aqal Se Hal Karna Chahiye! Biwi Boli: Han Haan! Ta K Tum Jeet Jao:-

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  • Wife: I hav read in newspaper dat widows mak d best wives. Husband: May b! Bt u cant xpect me 2 kil myself dat u can b gud wife 2 sum1.

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  • A woman was telling her friend , "It is I who made my husband a millionaire." "And what was he before you married him." Asked the friend. The woman replied, " A multi-millionaire".

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  • A couple came upon a wishing well. The husband leaned over, made a wish and threw in a penny. The wife made a wish too, but she leaned over too much, fell into the well, and drowned. The husband was stunned for a moment but then smiled, "It really works!"

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  • A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?" And the father replied, "I don't know, son, I'm still paying for it."

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  • Wyf-Tumne mujhe shadi se phle Q nahi bataya k tumhari phle hi RANI naam ki wyf he Hus-Maine bataya to tha k me tume RANI ki tarah rakhunga..

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  • Height Of Shakkk: PATI:Mai Tumhare Sath 100 Saal Rahunga Or Pyar Krunga,Biwi: Uske Baaad Kahan Moo Marne Ka Irada He?

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  • Wife looks in mirror & says to her Husband: "I look Horrible, Fat & Ugly. Please say something nice about me" Husband:"ur eyesight is perfect..."

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  • Husband: Honey, why are you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger? Wife: Because I married the wrong man!

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  • She left him on the sofa when the phone rang, and was back in a few seconds. "Who was it?" he asked. "My husband," she replied. "I better get going," he said. "Where was he?" "Relax. He'll be late, he's playing poker with you." Stewardess: I'm sorry, Mr. Smith, but we left your wife behind in London.

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  • A husbands version: My wife is like "Terms & conditions" of a Website ! I never understand what she says but I always accept....

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  • Patni-Shadi K Pehle Aap Roz Gift Dete The,Par Ab Nahi Dete, Kyu? Golu-Kabhi Tumne Machware Ko Machli Pakdne K Baad Use Dana Dalte Dekha Hai.

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  • Many people say that your wedding day is the happiest day of your life. So, if that's the case, I'd like to ask the husbands amongst you, does that mean it's all downhill from here?

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  • Ek scientist ne SHAADI kya hoti hai, ye samjhne ke liye shadi kar li.. Aur shadi k bad wo aaj tak ye nahi samajh paya k.. SCIENCE kya hota he.
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  • Nurse to patient with bleeding head: Your name? Patient: Santa. Nurse: Birthdate? Patient : 01 Feb Nurse : Married? Patient : No, car accident

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  • Wife looks in mirror & says to her Husband: "I look Horrible, Fat & Ugly. Please say something nice about me" Husband:"ur eyesight is perfect..."

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  • Wife to husband: zara kitchen se machis lana...! Husband: yahan to koi machis nahi hai... :o Wife: mujhe pata tha tum to ho he andhay tumhain milega he nahi is liye me pehle he le aayi thi..

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  • Wife= agr me kho jau, to tum kya kroge husband=me nirmal baba ke pas jauga wife=baba se kya kahoge husband=baba kirpa aani suru ho gyi h

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  • A man says to his friend, I havent spoken to my wife in 18 months. The friend says, Why not? The man says, I dont like to interrupt her.

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  • Ek aadami Bhagwan se - Aapne bachpan cheen liya, jawani cheen lee, Paisa chhen liya , Ek biwi dee hai bhool gayee kya ?

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  • Why did the man wear his wedding ring on the wrong finger? Because he was married to the wrong woman.

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  • A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?" And the father replied, "I don't know, son, I'm still paying for it.
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  • Patni-Shadi K Pehle Aap Roz Gift Dete The,Par Ab Nahi Dete, Kyu? Golu-Kabhi Tumne Machware Ko Machli Pakdne K Baad Use Dana Dalte Dekha Hai.

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  • Now I always watch my wedding video in reverse and I love the end when she takes the ring off,goes out, jumps in the car and heads back to her fathers home....

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  • Husbnd: Kya tumne mujhe KUTTA kaha? No answer Husbnd again asks, No answer Then again he asks, Wife: Nahi kaha. Plz AB bhoka na bandh karo

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  • Marriage is really tough because you have to deal with feelings  and lawyers.

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  • A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?" And the father replied, "I don't know, son, I'm still paying for it."

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  • Nurse to patient with bleeding head: Your name? Patient: Santa. Nurse: Birthdate? Patient : 01 Feb Nurse : Married? Patient : No, car accident

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  • Love aur arrange marrige me kia farq hai? Simple Love marrige me ap apni girl friend se shadi krte hen.. Aur Arange marrige me ksi or ki girlfriend se

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  • Ek aadami Bhagwan se - Aapne bachpan cheen liya, jawani cheen lee, Paisa chhen liya , Ek biwi dee hai bhool gayee kya 

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  • Husband: Honey, why are you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger? Wife: Because I married the wrong man!

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  • Patni-Shadi K Pehle Aap Roz Gift Dete The,Par Ab Nahi Dete, Kyu? Golu-Kabhi Tumne Machware Ko Machli Pakdne K Baad Use Dana Dalte Dekha Hai.

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  • What a married man says after years of marriage:- My marriage is made of Trust & Understanding she doesn't Trust me & I dont Understand her.

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  • A couple had a intense argument and were on their way to a country side. They passed by a herds of sheeps and pigs.. Husband asks the wife: They must be your relatives. Wife replies : YA ,my IN LAWS

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  • Husband N Wife Were Fighting, Husbnd Aakhir Ma Bola: Begum Yeh Masla Humein Larai se Nahi Aqal Se Hal Karna Chahiye! Biwi Boli: Han Haan! Ta K Tum Jeet Jao:-

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  • Wife to husband: zara kitchen se machis lana...! Husband: yahan to koi machis nahi hai... :o Wife: mujhe pata tha tum to ho he andhay tumhain milega he nahi is liye me pehle he le aayi thi..

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  • 3 Kinds of men in the World: Some remain single & make wonders happen. Some maintain girlfriends & see wonders happen. Other get married & wonder what happened.

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  • Now I always watch my wedding video in reverse and I love the end when she takes the ring off,goes out, jumps in the car and heads back to her fathers home.

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  • BEFORE MARRIAGE- Roses are red, sky is blue,U r beautiful,I Luv u AFTR MARRIAGE: Roses r dead,I have flu, Dont get on my head, side ho TU.

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  • Woman: When my husband left me, he said: he was going to join the army for a little peace.

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  • Many people say that your wedding day is the happiest day of your life. So, if that's the case, I'd like to ask the husbands amongst you, does that mean it's all downhill from here?

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  • Newly married wife husband se: Tumne apne doston se yeh kyun kaha ki mujhe bahut accha khana banana aata hai. Husband: Ab tumse shaadi karne ki koi wajah toh mujhe batani hi thi.

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  • Man : Is there any way for long life? Doctor : Get married. Man : Will it help? Doctor : No, but the thought of long life will never come...
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  • A Tiger was giving wedding party to his frnds.. A Cat came there and danced. Tiger asked who r u ? Cat said: I was also a Tiger before my marriage.......

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  • When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: either the car is new or the wife.

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  • Long ago, Men who sacrificed their love, youth, parents, identity, laughter and their happines were called SAINTS! Now they are called HUSBANDS
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  • Many people say that your wedding day is the happiest day of your life. So, if that's the case, I'd like to ask the husbands amongst you, does that mean it's all downhill from here?

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  • Now I always watch my wedding video in reverse and I love the end when she takes the ring off,goes out, jumps in the car and heads back to her fathers home....

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  • Man: After 70 yrs u still address ur wife as Darling, Love, Honey. What's the secret? Old Man: Her name slipped from my mind 10 years ago and I'm scared to ask her wat it is?

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  • Wife-Mai Driver ko Naukri se nikal rahi hu Qki aaj me dusri bar marte-Marte bachi hu Husband-Pls Jaan use Ek or mauka to do...

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  • Husband N Wife Were Fighting, Husbnd Aakhir Ma Bola: Begum Yeh Masla Humein Larai se Nahi Aqal Se Hal Karna Chahiye! Biwi Boli: Han Haan! Ta K Tum Jeet Jao:-

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  • 3 Kinds of men in the World: Some remain single & make wonders happen. Some maintain girlfriends & see wonders happen. Other get married & wonder what happened.

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  • A bus full of housewives going on a picnic crashed with no survivors. Each husband cried for a week, but one husband continued for more than two weeks. When asked he replied miserably... "My wife missed the bus"

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  • PATNI Maine Tumhe bina dekhe shadi ki Can you belive That PATI Aur meri himmat dekho Ki Maine Tumko dekhne Ke baad B TumSe Shadi Ki..

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  • Wife to drunk husband: From now on, if ur lips touch liquor u will never touch my lips Husband: awwww?? Wife: Now What r u thinking?? Husband: deciding, 18yr old Scotch or 42yr old lips?

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  • A bus full of housewives going on a picnic crashed with no survivors. Each husband cried for a week, but one husband continued for more than two weeks. When asked he replied miserably... "My wife missed the bus"

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  • Husband- Ek writer ne likha hai ki "Pati ko bhi ghar ke mamlo mein bolne ka haq hona chaahiye..." Wife-Woh bechaara bhi dekho likh hi paya, Bol Nahi Saka.!

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  • Love aur arrange marrige me kia farq hai? Simple Love marrige me ap apni girl friend se shadi krte hen.. Aur Arange marrige me ksi or ki girlfriend se:)

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  • 3 Kinds of men in the World: Some remain single & make wonders happen. Some maintain girlfriends & see wonders happen. Other get married & wonder what happened.

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  • Marriage is really tough because you have to deal with feelings  and lawyers.

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  • Pappu: Have you noticed that most heroes are married man? Appu: Every married man is a hero.

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  • A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?" And the father replied, "I don't know, son, I'm still paying for it.
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  • Wyf-Tumne mujhe shadi se phle Q nahi bataya k tumhari phle hi RANI naam ki wyf he Hus-Maine bataya to tha k me tume RANI ki tarah rakhunga..

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  • PATNI Maine Tumhe bina dekhe shadi ki Can you belive That PATI Aur meri himmat dekho Ki Maine Tumko dekhne Ke baad B TumSe Shadi Ki..

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  • Husband was throwing knives on wife's photo .all were missing d target ...suddenly he recvd a call from her ..hi wat r u doing ? he honestly rply MISSING U...

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  • When you develop the ability to listen to anything unconditionally, without loosing your temper or self confidence, it means you are MARRIED..

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  • Wife= agr me kho jau, to tum kya kroge husband=me nirmal baba ke pas jauga wife=baba se kya kahoge husband=baba kirpa aani suru ho gyi h

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