new funny sms collection Best

!!Mere facebook friends me ik bnda itni sad poetry krta ha,

K ab to me bhi uski girlfriend ko miss krny lga hun.

==============================

When phupho was born,

Doct!!or said: Mubarak ho aap k phadda hua ha.

==============================
Aunty: Beta Kahan rehty ho aaj kl?

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Me: Tension me.

==============================
Ik Path!!an namaz prhh rha tha,

To doosry Usky bary me kisi ko bta rha tha,

K ye bht namazi or nayk bnda ha,

Pathan namaz torr k bola,

Isko bolo k humny hajj bhi kia ha.

==============================

Ik pathan me film dekh rha tha,

Film me ik shair dorrty huye aa ra tha,

Pathan uthh!! k bhaagny lga to sath betha admi bola,

fikr mt kro ye film ha,

Pathan: ye to film ha, pr wo to janwar ha, Unko kya pta.

==============================

Never tell your friends that,

U r wearing elastic wali shalwaar,

I repeat,

Never.

==============================

Jahan dekho ishq k bimaar bethy hn,

Hazaaron mr gye hazaaron tayyar bethy hn,
!!
Brbaad kr k apn!i taleem lrrkiyon k peechhy,

Kehty hn molvi sahib dua kijiye be rozgaar bethy hn.

==============================

Shareef itny !!thy k qamees k button tk nhi kholy,

Magr is load shedding ne to Veena Malik bna dia.

==============================
Shohar: soch!!a call kr lun meri yaad aa rhi hogi

Biwi: or jo subeh larrai hui thi wo?

Shohar: oh fity mu ghr ka number mil gya.

==============================
Pathan film Sholay dekh rha tha:

Hero bola: basanti in kutton k samny mt nachna.

Pathan cheekhty huye: Ary ticket khareeda ha, Iska baap b nachy ga.



==============================



Teacher: tum ne home work qn ni kiya

Pathan: Sir hum hostel me rehta ha.

==============================
Aik Din hum aik dosre kay ghar yeh soch kar jana chor den gay k
Kahen inno ne “khota” he na pakaya ho

==============================

Oaye chad day ma!nu sara saal khoteaykha k tey Wadi eid ty tuhano ma yaad a janda wa

==============================
Dad: Aaj Tk tunay! koe aesa kam kia jis say mera sar uncha hua ho
Son: Aik bar apkay sar kay nichy takiya lagaya tha, ap bhool gay thay

==============================

Bakri “i luv you” Bakra: “hun ke faida Agon wadi Eid aan aali aey

==============================ss

Chemistry ke class ma sir ne aik larki say poocha!
What iz nitrate?
Larki sharma ker !boli :-
Sir, aap bhi na…,
Night rate
2500/-:sirf ap kay liaye.

==============================
Chemistry ke class ma sir ne aik larki say poocha!
What iz nitrate?
Larki sharma ker boli :-
Sir, aap bhi na…,
Night rate
2500/-:sirf ap kay liaye.

==============================

Aray aap Woi Hyn Na jo
humyn bilkul b pasand nahi aaye

==============================

If you! boyfrnd iz 4rom you
khala, mamu chachu ka beta i its alright,
if he is 4rom outside of d family, he is haraam.

==============================
Meray cellphone ke
battery esay khatam hoti hai jesay
iftaari ma pakoray




Girl: Do u like me?
Boy: No.
Girl: :(
Boy: u did not ask if I lovd u!
Girl: Awww. Do u luv me?
Boy: Nawww.

==============================

Makkhi Mar
Wife: Kaya kar rahay ho?
Man: M!akkhiyan maar raha hoon.
Wife: Kitni mari?
Man: three male aur two female.
Wife: Kaisay maloom?
Man: Kyonki three daru ke botal say chipki ti or two phone say

==============================

Girl: Tum haftay mein kitni baar shave kertay ho?
Boy: haftay mein nahi din mai 30 say 40 baar,
Girl; Kaya tum pagal ho?
Boy; Nahi, main
” Naai ” hoon

==============================

Boy nay hospital mein aik nurse say kaha I LUV YOU tumnay mera dil chura lia hy
Nurse: sharma! ker chal jhotay dil ko tau hath he nahi lagaya humnay tau kidney churaai hy.

==============================

Sardar: y r all these people running? Man: dis iz a race, d winner will get d cup. Sardar: If only d winner will get d cup, y r
othrs ru!nning?

==============================

Wife TV per match dekh rai thi,
husband smart bankay aaya or bola,
“DARLING Ma! KESA LAG RAHA HOON?” tabhi wife zorsay chillayi’
CHAKKKKKKAAAA!!!

==============================

How 2 Kill a msquito:
Catch it alive,
Tie its legs
thn make gud gudi in its stomach
& wen it laughs
,Catch its mouth
and pour a spoon of the Poison ….

==============================

SUGGESTION from NARAD :-
If your lovr sends u romantic messages then b very happy
But
think who! is sending those msgs to your lovr?
My job iz over!
Narayan Narayan.. :-)

==============================

‘Whether u put ur name under the high light or the low
It is never !going 2 glow
Unless u jump out d window & do somersault in d air
& land on ur bump on d road

==============================

‘Oh u look so funny
ur ears have grown like bugz bunny
& a tail has also sprouted out 4rom ur back
Now u will ju!mp & bump
& down in a rabbit hole take ur nap



==============================

A year haz ended! & we r together
Do not think it is a miracle?
Living with u is like a hell
I do not know how I managed dat well
If u want !2 live with me further
u have 2 give of all your tussles
& do what I say u 2
Otherwise I am replacing u

==============================
Bubbli got caugt on the date
on the Indepandnce day
.
Major Rohail-
What iz this?
.
Bubbli-
Dad today is the freedom day,
so plz let me do what I want

==============================

Frnds r like Priya Gold Biscit Haq Say maango
Girl Frnds r like Pepsi Ye Dil Maange More
Wife iz like a medicine B!as Aik he kaafi hai

==============================

Diner: I can’t eat such a rotten chiken.
Cal d mana!ger!
Waiter: It is no use. He would not eat it either

==============================

you are a nice person…
but..you have 2 do 2 things early in the morning…
first. pray 2 God so that you can live….
second .ta!ke a bath so dat others can live….

==============================

Prmise me we r true friends
I am lamp u r light
I am Coke u r Sprite
I am Sawan u r badal
I am Normal u r Pagal
I am Water u r Tanki
I am Tarzan u r Monkey

==============================
Breaking News

Pakistani Cricket Team ko
Hollywood movie ke offer hoe hy,
.
.
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.
.
.
.
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.
.

Movie Name:
“ELEVEN Monkeys”

==============================

Chahta!y Hyn Aap Ko Pyaar Dyn,
Dosti Pay Yeh Zindagi War dain.
Par Jab Aap Ka SMS Nai Milta Tau,
Dil Chahta Hy Aap Ka mobile deewar pay maar Dain..

==============================
Whats the similarity b/w
“MARRIAGE”
and
“11:59pm”?
………confused………

.
.
.
.
Dono kay baad Din badal jatay hyn.  :)

==============================

or Duniya ke ros!hniyon main mat kho jao. Yaad karo uss andharay ko jo qabar main tumhary sath ho ga.

An islamic mssg 4rom WAPDA






Biology kay sir:

Boys can u tell me exactly where isour heart?

All boys shouted loudly

Larkiyon kay paas

Sir smiled and said….
Mera bhi :)

==============================

FAQEER: ALLAH kay Naam par kuch day do?

Ghar say larki boli: kuch n!ai hy maaf karo..

FAQEER Bola apna number hi day do Baba Dua b kary ga or message b…

==============================

Pathan: Kiyon ro rahay ho?

Memon: Meri Murghi mar gai ha

Pathan: humr!a Baap mar gaya par hum tau nahi roya.

Memon: Tum kiyon roye ga!
Tumhara Baap Anday thori daita tha.

==============================
Memon: Mainay Apni Beti ki Shadi Sirf 1500 Rupay Main karwai.

Dost: Woh kesay?

Memon: Mainay Beti ko 1500 ka aik Mobile Dilaya, Beti Nay Love Marriage kar Li.

==============================

WAKEEL: My lord, Qanoon ke kitaab ka safa number 15 kay mutabik meray mowakkil ko ba-izzat bari kia jaye.

JUDGE: Kitaab pesh ke jaye.

(Kitaab pesh ke gayi) Judge! nay safa number 15 khola tau us mein 5000 kay 10 note they.

JUDGE: Is tarha kay do saboot or pesh kiye jayen… ?

==============================

Pathan: Shirt !kay liaye kapraa dikhaaaoo

Salesman: Plain main dikhaaun?

Pathan: nai, Helicopter main dikha haramkhor,

Bas Pathan dekha nai kay mazak shuru!

==============================

Aadmi: Meri BiVi Bohat Achi Hy, Mujhay sardi mein Pani Garam Kar Kay Deti Hy.

Dost: Nahane Kay Liye?

.

.

Aadmi: Nai yar, Bartan Dhonay Kay Liye.

==============================
Wo Jo apnay pyar Ki Yaad Main..

Jaagtay Hain T!anha Raaton Ko..

Sirf Wohi Bata Saktay Hain Kay..

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.
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Raat ko light kis kis time jati hy… ? ?

==============================

“Sub boltay hyn magar koi dekhta nai mujhay” . . . . .
.

.

.

.

.

A silent message 4rom ‘P0GO’ :-/

==============================

,__(“,)__,

))

./|_

Lo G Sajno Tay Belio

Mitro Tay Sahelio

Bakryo Tay Lelio
!
Masroof Tay Vehlio

Sadi Tay Akh Khul Gayi AA

Assalam-o-Alaikum


==============================


Shohar or biwi ek hi din mar gaye.
Shohar bhoot ban gaya or Biwi Churail ban gai. Kuch dino k baad dono ka aamna saamna hua.

Biwi: Kitnay! ajeeb lag rahy ho bhoot ban kr.

Shohar: Han. Lakin tm bilkul bhi nai badli… wesi ki wesi hi ho

==============================

Sardar: Parson Meri Biwi Kowein mein gir gayi.

Bohat chot lagi bechari ko, bohat cheekh rai thi…



Dost: Ab kesi hy tumhari Biwi?



Sardar: Ab theek hai. Kal say Kowein mein say Awaz nahi Ai

==============================

A very old lady te!acher of the English
asked this question with the class:

When I say “I am beautiful”, which tense is it?

1 pupil answered: Its the !past tense of the course.

==============================

143 means?
Do you want to know
what it means?
Press Down..
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It means
O1 HUNDRED & FORTY THREE.
Tomorrow I will teach you 144.

==============================
two Guys Were Following two Girls
Both Girls Took Rakhi and Tied To Their Hands.

1st Guy 2 Second-What Will We Do Now?

2nd Guy-yoU Marry My Sister,
I Will Marry yoUr Sister

==============================

Smoking the ciga!rette reduces life by five minutes,

Laughing increases life by ten minutes.

A laughing smoker will never die ;)

==============================

Why R the grandparents

& grandchildren so friendly?

Bcz their enemies R common :P ;)

==============================

There are two type of studies:

1 – hard subjects which Cannot be studied.
2 – Easy subject that Does not need 2 be studied…..

==============================

Taste this SMS
Did you feel the taste of ginger?
No?
Sure?
Well…..
BANDAR KYA JAANay ADRAK KA SWAAD!!

==============================


Life is like a MOVIE…
If you are sad – DRAMA
If you are afraid – SUSPENSE
If you are angry – ACTION
When you look at the mirror – HORROR




Dada : Aik zamana tha jab meri jaib mein

sirf 10 rupe hoty thay,

Or

mein store say ghee, doodh, chawal Or daalen

sab kuch lay ata tha…

Pota : Ab yeh fankaariyan nai chaltin Dada ji…

Ab  tau wahan “Camere” lag gai hain…

==============================

Papa : Beti bari ho kar kiya karo gi…?

Beti : Shadi.

Papa : Ghalat baat hy Beti, abhi say

kisi ka bura nahi sochtay…..:-)

==============================

Muskurana Mana Hy…

BV nay Shohar k gaal pay thappar maar kr Machhar

maar diya.

Shohar Ghusse say : Thappar kiyon Mara..?
!
BV : Mujhy pasand nahi k

Mere hoty huay koi doosra

.
.
.
.

Tumhara Khoo!n piaye….:-p

==============================

Agar aapki Wife! aapka kehna nai manti tau

.
.
.
.
tau

.
.
.
.

itna ghabrany ki koi baat ni,

kisi ki bhi Wife ni manti..

Iss Parcham k saye taly

sab 1 hen..:-p

sab 1 hen..:-p

==============================

Bivi ghussay say : Tumhary dimaagh mein tau sirf gober e bhara hai.

Shoher Piyar say : Tau phir itni der say

khaa kiyon rahi ho…?:-)

==============================



WIFE : Plz I want a Blackberry or Apple

on my upcoming Birthday…!

HUSBAND : Stupid! It is Mango Season.

Eat the Mangoes Instead……:-)




==============================
Husband to his Wife : Kiya hamari shadi say pehlay tumhara koi

boyfriend tha..?

Wife remained silent for some time…

Husband : Me iss khamoshi ko kya samjhon??

Wife : Ab!y gin nay tau dey zara ..:)

==============================



Larki apni Dadi say : Main school nahi jaongi.

Rastay main larkay chairty hyn
.
.
.

DADI : Bahany mat banao,

Mein bhi usi rastay say roz bazar jati hoon,

Mujhay tau koi nahi chairta….:-p




==============================

Daughter : Papa! sab bachon ki mummy un ko school mein

chorny aati hein, par mujhay chorny aap q aaty ho??

.
.
.

Papa : Beta! sab ki mummy aati hein isi liye tau

tumhen chorny mein aata hoon…:-)

==============================


(‘,’)/
/) (
 /"\
Loh Wai arz Kitta Aye,

5 Di Kulfi ta!y 10 Di Khand,

Wa Wa Wa Wa

Kya kehnay hy,

5 di kulfi tay 10 di khand,

O kad lo Razaian aa gai ji thand…




Yeh Keh Kar Us Nay Hum Ko Bhari Mehfil Mein Ruswa Kar Diya

….FARAZ….

Seedha Ho Kar Beth Teri Shalwar Phati Hoi Ha

(,^^)><)) ” |\_

Oh Lay Ammi Nay Fyr Nai Sitti.:-)=P

==============================

Panjabi Larki ka Izhaar E Mohabt par Jawab..
.
Boy:

Menu Tuaday Naal Piyar ho giya aey..

Girl:

Hansi aur Sharma kr boli,

“Dafa ho Yadhi dieya..”

==============================

“1 Larki Janat Main Gai Tau Frishton Say Boli
Meri Shadi Kisi Molvi Naal Hi Kara yo.”

Farishta:”Sabar Kar Lay Bibi.

Pehlay Kisi Molvi Nou Janat Wich Aan Tay Day”.

==============================

Chuha to haathi: tuhadi umar kinni hy???
Haathi: Aik Saal, tay teri?
Chuha: Umar tay meri v Aik saal hi hy,
par saalay nashay pattay nay mittran
di sehat down jehi kar ditti Aey…. :)

==============================

Twade laye bohat khobsurat hon di tarkib

Press down button


Once again

Aikk wari hor

Bas Ek wari hor

Lo dasso g, banda kadi button daban day nal v khobsurat hoya Ae?

==============================

A punjabi women in London, Telling two english doctors about her baby’s illnes. . . Doctor My baby is ill one week da, Na eat da na sleep da, Bus weep da he weep da…:D



==============================

Meri apsay guzarish ha k aap mujh ko good morning walay sms na send kiya krna
.

.Sms k bajiye halwa puri send kar diya krna…:D

==============================


Ek kanar tha wo sms parh raha tha
.
.
.
.
Use pta tha k sender nay usay kanar kha hy
..
.
Wo phir bhi sms parh raha tha
.
..
.Kiya krta

kanar jo tha.Don’t mind kanar hahaha ha hahah ;P

==============================

Hamray tau armano ko us waqt hee  aag lag gaye thi

……….Faraz………

Jab wo hamray ghar aai tau ammi nay kaha ja puttar baji k liay botal lay k aaa :(

==============================


Aik Punjabi nay jaali note banaya,

Quaid e Azam ki topi bana bhool gaya,

Dukandar bola : Is ki topi nai hai..?

Punjabi : Yeh Quaid e Azam ki garmiyon ki

tasveer hy…






Panjabi Baap : Aaj tak to nay koi bhi aisa kam nahi

kiya jis say mera sar ooncha ho skay.

Beta : Yaad ker Abba! Aik vari teray sir  de thally

ma sirhana rakhya c…..:-)

==============================

Agar apni cousin ko phasaani ho tau….
jab wo kitchen mein jaye tau peechay say ja kr usko jhapee daaal lo
agar hans paray tu samjho phas gaye
Or
agar gussa karay tau shor macha do
“baji dar gaye”
“baji dar gaye”.




==============================

Don’t break anybody’s heart, because they have only 1
Break their bones,because they have 206… 😀

==============================

Garmi bohat hy,

NESTLE JUICE ka Dabba bheja hy,

Just for you

Khaali hy,

Phoonk Maar k Patakha baja lena,

Mast Hawa Aye Gi Re baba…….:-)

==============================
E I D
E I D
E I D
E I D
EID

.
.
..




Filhaal Abhi Dooor hai

Aram Naal Rozay Rakho…..:-)

==============================

MQM ka kal phir say

Youm-e-Sog manany ka Aelan,,,

,
,
,
,
,

Kisi nay FAROOQ SATTAR ko

20 ki Baraf 50 rupy ki de di.

MQM  Ki Rabita Comety…..:-p

==============================

“Soya hua Insaan paani ki boondon say

Jaag jata hy”

Lekin

“Soyi hui Qaum ko jagany k liay

Load Shedding karni parti hy”

Qoul: Hazrat Mian Nawaz Shareef

Ganj Wali Sarkar.. 😀

==============================


100 Pathan Aik kashti mein sawar thay k achanak

Kashti ruk gai Or phir

sab k sab Doob gay.

Kesay??

Pathan thay na!

Dhakka lagany  k liye utar gaye.

Hahahahahaha…:-)




==============================

Pathan is Sitting With Dog.

Man : Your dog bits????

Pathan : No,no

Man Sits And The Dog Bits!

Man angrily, u said he does not bit!

Pathan : Thats not my dog……:-p
==============================



Pathan : Yara! Yeh “Sent sms” kya hota hy??

2nd Pathan : Khuda ka Qasam tum tau bilkul Jaahil ka bacha hy,

Sent Message ka matlab hy,

.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

“Khushbooo Wala Message”…



Pathan nay Naai ki Dukan kholi..

Aik admi Shave karwany aaya.

Pathan : Mooch rakhni hy?

Admi : Haan.

Pathan Mooch kaat kr bola :

“Lay rakh le jahan rakhni hy”………:-p

==============================

Teacher : Batao Zameen Or Chanad ka apas mein

kiya rishta hy??

Pathan : Bhai, Behan ka.

Teacher : Wo kesay??

Pathan : kiyon K hum Chaand ko Mamu,

Or Zameen ko Maa kehty hen……..:-):-p

==============================

Aik Pathan nay Aik Pad mara,

Phir Dosra,

Phir 3,4,5,6,

Kisi nay kaha Khan Sahab yeh kya?

Pathan : Aaj hum nay

Package kar waya huwa hai….:-)

Good Morning

==============================

Sardar: Jadon Meri Navi Navi Shadi Hoi c ,

Menu Meri Biwi Inni Soni Lagdi c K

Dil Karda ma ennu See Kha Hi Jawan

Friend: Or Ab?

Sardar: Kha Hi Jaanda Te Changa C…:-(

==============================

Sardar g: Meray Jaman K Darakht K Nechay

Gulaab Ka Poda Kion Laga Rahay Ho?

2nd Sardar: Is Liay K

ye Dono Milkar Hamain

GULAB JAMAN Dain gy…:-p

==============================

Woh Roz roz kehti hy k

mujhy Apni tasveer MMS kar do

FARAZ….

Us Nadan larki  ko yeh kesay bataon k

mere pass Nokia 1100  hy….:-p

==============================

Us ki Nigah mein itna Asar tha

FARAZ……

Ek Nazar me gira di QULFI meri.:-(

Das Yaar Eddi Gandi Niyyat

Banda Munh de Naal Mang Lavay…:-p

==============================
Sardar ; Yar meri Bivi paani say bohat ziyada darti hai.

Friend : Acha wo kesay?

Sardar : Yaar kal ma ghar gaya to wo

Bath tub me bhi Security Guard k sath bethi  hui thi…:-p





==============================

Boy ; Suno na

Girl ; Kaho

Boy ; I Love U

Girl Thappar Mar kr ; Kiya bola tau nay??

Boy ; Ab to tau pakka pitagi, Jab tu ny suna hi nahi

tau thappar kese mara??…:-)

==============================

Boy : Chalte Chalte yu hi ruk jata hn me

bethay bethay kahin kho jata hun ma

Kiya ye he Piyar hai..?

Girl : Pagal Kamzori hy, Mar jaye ga,

DRIP lagwa lo….:-p




Raja Pervaiz Ashraf : Mujhy 5,6 achy achy sms bhaij do.

Gilaani : Sorry! Ma abhi Namaz parh raha hon.

Raja Pervaiz : Hahahahhahahaahha

Bas isi tarha k 5,6 aur bhej do…..:-(

==============================

Is Garmi me

Piyaar,

Ishqq,

Mohabbat,

Wafa,

Qassmen

Waday,

Waghaira waghaira..

Mill kar

(,”)
<)(> Aik Glass Thanday thaar Saharbat Ka
_//_

Koi Muqaabla Nahi Ker Saktay….:-)

==============================
Ma Pee ker nai behakta,

Usy dekh ker behakta hun..

tu bas Itna bata k Sharaab Haram hui ya Wo??

Pichaay se Maa ki awaz aaai :
.
.
.
.

Kaminay! Sharab Haram hai or

Wo..

Haramzadi….:-)

==============================

Larki : Toba, Daant nikalwanay say tau pregnant hona hi acha hai,

us mein  itni takleef nahi hoti.

Dentist : Jaldi faisla karo tah k

Kursi usi hisaab sy set karon….;-):-p

==============================

Doctor To Meerab : Aap me to Khooon kii

bayhad kami hai, Periods k doraan kitna loss ho jata hai??????

.
.
.
.

Meerab (Sharmatay Huay) :

Takreeban 7 Lakh ka…..;-p

==============================
Jummay k din Mera Nikkah Hy

.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
New Drama Serial..

Coming Sooon only on GEO KAHANI.

Sab ko send kro aur

dekho kitnay log reply kerty hen.

Sab Ka Dimagh Ghumma do……:-)

==============================

Agar Ap is Waqat

Aram kr rahy thay,

Yaa koi aur  kaam ker rahy thy,

Or  mere Message ny Aap ko

Disturb kar diya  ho to,,

,
,
,
,
,
Mission SUCCESSFULLLLL….

YaaAHoOoo….:-p

==============================

Do Maindhak Dariya k kinaray bethy thay.

1st bola : Turr

2nd bola : Turr

1st bola : Turr

2nd bola : Turr

1st bola : Purrrrr

2nd bola : Salay tu Topic tou Change Mat Ker….:-D :-p

==============================
Ek larki nay Coin daal ker apna Weight kiya 58kg

Sendal utari 57kg

Jacket utari 55kg

Phir Dopatta utara 53kg

Or  phir

coin khatam.

Ek Bhikari Bola : Tu Chalu rakh.

.
.
.
Coin me dal deta  hun……:-p:-)

==============================

Utha tha ma TAHAJJUD mein usay mangnay k liay Khuda se

Faraz..

Pani thanda dekh kr phir so gayaa,,,,

(,”)>
<)(
_//_

Ooh  Shit Yaaar!

Kash Geezar Hota…





Aaj to Shetaan Bhi yeh keh rha ho Ga.
Faraz.
,
,
,
,
Aa Beh Jaa Saday Kol Kal Asan Turh Wanjna.
Ramzan Mubarak

==============================

Wah women
Doctor : Jab tme pata tha k ek women car chala rahi

hai to road se hat jatey

Patient : Kon sa road??? main to park mein leta huaa

tha….:-(

==============================

Aik  baar heroin ki shadi producer se

hojati hai.

Pehli raat ko producer heroin se kehta hy k

pehly rehersal ker lete he Heroin : Rehersal ma ny director k saath ker li hai
Aap final take lo….:-p

==============================

Ek couple date pe gaya tha, Dad ne

dekh liya !!!

Dad ne call ki..beta kaha ho …?

Beta := exam dene aaya hon !

Dad := “par dhyan se dena  agar is

exam ka result aagya to jaan se mar donga ” =P 😀

==============================

Q: What is the difference between secretary and private secretary???
Ans:
Secretary says GOOD MORNING SIR
and
Private secretary says ITS GOOD MORNING SIR



==============================

If two hearts r meant two b friends,
No mater how long it takes,
How faar they go,
How toughh it seems,
Fate will bring them together,
2 share FRIENDSHIP FOR EVER….

==============================

Hey YOU Know
Which is the best day to propose a girl.. April 1st
you Know Why????
If she accepts its your luck
otherwise just tell April Fooooll..
CLICK TO SEND THIS SMS TO ANYONE
JUNE 24, 2015FAREEHA ABID LEAVE A COMMENT
Dude Eggs

Dude EGGS are very salty today
Too much Salt..why????
.
.
Waiter:
Sir hen is suffering from high blood
Pressure.. J

==============================

When single woman loves you, you are a husband

When many women love you, you are a celebrity

When hundreds of women love you, you are a cricketer

When thousands of women love you, you are a leader

But When all the women in the city love you,

Then you are a best Darzi

==============================
Kash !! Sooraj ke bhe biwi hoti,

Kam se kam usey thora control main tou rakhti.




It takes 1000000 workers …
.
to build a castle…
.
.
Million soldiers to ..
.
.
protect a country..
.
.
But just one woman ..
.
.
to make a Happy Home!
.
.
.
.
.
.
Let’s Thank…KAMWALI MaSSi 😀
😛 😀 lolx hahahahhahahaha

==============================

God Ney pOOchha:
.
“kidhar jaaney ka maangta???”
.
.

Swarg ya narak???
.
.
Apon bola narak. ..
.
Maloom q???
.
.

Tum saala dost log udharich milega…
.
.
.

Bole to jidhar tum..
.
woich apna swarg hoga…!! 😀 😀

==============================
Pappu rings a call centre…

.

.
My internet is not working properly..

.
Officer:

.

.
Ok

.
Double click on “My computer”

.

.
Pappu:

.


I can’t see ur computer..

.


Officer:

.
No no..

.


click on “My computer” on ur computer..

.


Pappu:

.

.
How can I click on ur computer from my..

.


computer?>..

.


Officer:

.


listen..

.


There is an icon labelled “My Computer” on ur..

.


computer..

.


Ok..

.


double click on it..

.


Pappu:

.

.


what the hell, what is your computer doing on..

.


my computer..???

.

.


Officer:

.


Double click on ur computer..

.


Pappu:

.


On which Icon i’ve to click..

.


Officer:

.

.
“My Computer”..

.


Pappu:…

.


Oh u Idiot……

.

.
Tell me where is ur office…

.

I’ll come there and ..

.

click on ur “Computer.”?? 😛 😀 lolx hahahahahahha

==============================
*Killing English*

.

Pappu:- “Hey, Fruit walay Baba, give me some Potatoes fever. . .

.

Fruit wala: Oo mere bhai ye ‘Potatoes Fever’ kya hota hai? . .

.

Pappu:- Oo Maye Gaad, You Literacy People, Potatoes Fever means



.

.

.

“Aaloo Bukhara!”

==============================
Great people talk ..
.
about things…
.

Small people talk ..
.
about other people…
.

And legends never talk:-
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
they are dead 😛

==============================

New Funny Law…
.
.

The probability of someone …
.
watching you is proportional ..
.
to the stupidity of your action!!! 😛 😀

==============================
Heart touching Lines…
.

If U Are In Tears..
.

Without ..
.
Any Reason Then..
.
.
Then..
.
.

Then Somebody Is …
.
Peeling Onion Near U…. 😛 😀

Don’t Over emotional 😀

==============================

Positive Thinking:-
.

Poem: little bird in the sky..
.
dropping potty on your eye..
.

you don’t worry..
.

you don’t cry..
.

Thank 2 god..
.
.
.
.
.
.
that elephant don’t fly.. lolx hahahhaha 😛

==============================

A Poetry Competition …
.
asked 4 A 2-Line…
.

Rhyme With The Most …
.
Romantic 1st Line And…
.

the Least Romantic 2nd Line..
.
There’s d Winning Rhymes…
.
“My darling…
.
My Love….
.
My Beautiful Wife…
.

Marrying U Ruined…
.
My Whole Life…
.
I see Ur Face ..
.
When I m Dreaming…
.

That’s Why I Always …
.
Wake Up Screaming…

Kind Intelligent…
.
Loving & Hot…
.

This Describes …
.
Everything You r Not..
.
I Love Ur Smile…
.
Ur Face & Ur Eyes…
.

Damn…
.
I’m V Good At Telling Lies…” 😀 😀

==============================
aik customer service center pathan ko job diya giya..
pathan apney phley customer sey..






ka doctoranOO filmOOna jorol nu da aghe filmoono numuna ba se dasi oo 😛

X-Ray Ho Na Ho..

KahoO Na Bukhar Hai..

Hum Blood Dey Chukey Sanam…

Mere Yaar Ka Operation He..

Kaash Ap Humare Patient Hotey..

Mein Dettol Ki Deewani Hoon..

Humara Thermometer Ap Ke Pass Hey..

Kabi Drip Kabi Injection…

Zukaam To Hona Hi Tha..

😛 😀 lolx

==============================

(((””¥””)))
<(( @) (@ ))>
(; <._.> 😉
((,==,))
ma yareeega..
kala kala che sok pa mobile mcg wae da aghe tasveer  hum rashi wrsara! 😛 😀

==============================
Jo m()uddat se hota aaya hai wo repeat kr d()()nga..

Tou na mili tou apni zindagi ctrl+alt+delete kr dunga..!! 😛 😀 hahha

==============================

Kal jb milay thay tou dil mey huwa eik sound…

Or aaj milay tou kehtey ho ur file not found…!!

==============================

Na jiney ki aarzu na marney ka khaOOf…

The number u are trying is currently powered off…!!

==============================

Eik tuo ap sharmatey bOhat hu..

Agar bat karey koi tuo irritate bOhat hU..

dil chahta hai key koi sms na karoOn..

per suna hey sms parhney k bad muskuratey bOhat ho….!!

==============================
Husband 2 his wife saima
Kal mere khuwab mai 1 lrki ayi thi,wah kiya lrki thi..

Saima: Akeli ayi hogi..

Husband:tumko kesey pata???

Saima:uska husband merey khawab mai aya tha 😛 😀  lolx hahahhahahhahah

==============================
aik shairr sunnata hoon zaraaa ghoor sy sunnoo…



zara ghoor sey sunnooo…

wah wahh

Mujhay nahii ataaa haii kisi orrrsy sunno 😛 😀 hahahaha

hum ka shayar lagta haii apkooo?? 😛

==============================

uthaa kar paink doo bahir galii mai..

nayee tehzeib k anday hain ganday .




Wife: Apko merii Khoobsurti Zeeyada Achi Lagti Hai Ya meri
Aqalmandi?
Sardar:

“Mujy Tuo Tumhari Ye Mazak Karne Ki Adat Bohat
Achi Lagti hai 😛 😀
hahahahhaha

==============================

(William kaamchor )

“Life is too short even to complete your sleep,

I wonder how people find time to study”

😀 😛 😀

hahhahahahha



==============================

Girl: Phone Beeps.

Wow ! My sweetheart texted me.

Boys: Phone Beeps

Wow ! My darling texted me.

Me: Phone Beeps.

Wow! Ufone texted me. Hahahaha 😀

==============================
Pakistan Mai ”Mah-E-L0ad SHedding” Kah ChaNd Nazar Agya Hay
Tamam L0ag Kurbani Kay Liye Tayaar Hojayn
(Pesco).

==============================

Dabang Lady 4

Ganjay teraa siyapah lawaay daly admi

Apray sir di bijjlii yahan say khanaa tabaa huway

Kuni bacpan wich kitni daiti ose aha

Teri baan tutaay ganjay pately

Go ganjay go

Dabang lady ka ahtehjaj

Dabang lady ka nayi album with send 92.com

==============================

Abb Etni Night Koh Apuon Teray Koh Kixi Film Ki
Kahani Sunanay Kay Liyeah Msg Toh Karegah Nahien
Common Sense Ki Baat Hai
Kay Teray Koh Gud Night Bolne Kah Hai Chal Ludaak Lay.

==============================

Kya Re
Aasmani Kabutaar
Apoun Koh Sms Kah Hafta Nahi Aarela Hai
Apoun Koh Maloom Hai Teray Pass Sms Kah Khazana Padela Hai
Jaldi Se 2-4 Jakkaas Sms Kah Hafta Bhej Kanjoox?

============================== Diya

Memon: Yeh Kaila(Banana) Kaisay Diya?
Shopkeeper: 1rs.
Memon: 60 Paisa Kah Daita Hai?
S.K: 60 Paisay Main Toh Sirf Chilka Milegah
Memon:Leya 40 Paisay Chilka Rakh Aor Kelaa Day Day.

==============================

Roses R Lal
Skies R Nila
Ur Brain Iz Like Khaali Patila
Buraa Man Leeya?.

O.K

Roses R Red
Skies R Blue
I Born Smart
What D Hell Hapened To U
Thora Sa aor Buraa Manlo.

==============================
Iss Dil Mein Aansuyo Keh Melay Hein
Tm Bin Hm Bohat Akele Hein
Saab Kuch Chor Kar Tmeh E-Mail
Kartay Hein Dekho Ham Kitnay Vele Hain.



==============================



Chaand Koh Garoor Hai Ki Uskay Paas Noor Hai
Toh Keya Huwa
Mujhy Bhi Gharoor Hai Ki Mera Dost Langour Hai.

==============================

Majnu Koh Laila Kah Sms Nahi Aiya
Majnu Nay 3 Din Sy Khana Nahi Khaya
Majnu Marnay Wala Thaa Laila Kay Peyar Main
Aor Lailaa Bthi Thi Sms
Free Hone Kay Intezaar Main.

==============================
Vo Ajj Bhi Hume Deakh Kar Muskuratay Hein
Yeah Toh Unke Bachy Hee Kaminay Hain
Jou Mammu-Mammu Bulaatay Hein.

==============================

Yaad Mein Hmnay Kalam Uthaayi
Leya Paper Aur Tasveer Aapki Banayi
Sochaa Tha Ki Uskoh Dil Say Laga Kar Rakheingay
Magar Voh Tou Bachoun Koh Draanay Ky Kaam Aayi.

==============================
Could U Fax Me Ur Photo V. V Very Urgently ?
Mind U – It’s Really Very Very Urgent
Damn Serious Nd Very Imp
Im Playing Cards
Nd
We have Misplaced The Joker.

==============================

Phul Me Phul
Phul Jama Phul
Phul Daar Phul
Phul Hun Phul

Abs Iz SMS Ko ‘Phul’ Ke Baghair Parhooo
Dekhnaa Tumharaa Naam Aaegaa.

==============================

Hi Xtupid, H r u?
Ghuxxa Naa H0 Yar
XTUPID MeaNx:
Xuper
Talented
Unique
Personality
In
DemaaNd
Xamajh Aaya?
Xmiling Now U Xtupid.

==============================

Apki Kashish Xarfarosh Hai
Apka Naxha U Madhoxh Hai
Kya Kahay Tumsay Doxt
Jis Pagal Kuttay Ne Apko Kata
Wo Ab Tk Behoxh Hai.

==============================
U’ve Gud Xtyle
U’ve Gud Claxx
U’ve Gud LOOKx
U’ve Gud Faxe
U’ve Gud Charm
U’ve Gud Brains
OOops Sorryyyy
Ghalat Numbr Pr Msgg Bhej Diya.

==============================
Nigaahay Kisi Se Milaa Kr T0 Dekho
Dil Ki Bat Kisi Ko Bataa Kr T0 Dekho
Sb Aayengay Khud Tumhaaray Pas
Lagataar ik Haftay Tk Nahaa Kr T0 Dekho.

==============================

Some Facts Abt Ur Life:
1. aNy Similarty B/w U N A HumN Being Iz A Pure Coincidence
2. I Don’t Know What Makex U So Stupid Bt Whatever It Iz, It Workx
3. I Heard U Got A Brain TrNsplNt & The Brain Rejected U
Plzzzz Don’t ThNkx Me 4or Insulting U.
It Was My Pleasure!

==============================
Ur Brain Will B Refreshed In The Nxxt 5 Secondz
five
four
three
two
one
LOADING
EROR: No Brain Detected.

==============================
SMS Naa Karky Dil Torr Diya Mera
Ab phone Dafna Dena
KafN Na Mily T0 Apna Rumaal Orrha Dena
Koi Poochy Rog Kya Tha
T0 Nazray Jhukaa K Apni KNjusi Bataa Dena.

==============================
A Child Usez Itz Thumb 2 Chew
N Iliterate Usez His Thumb 2 Sign
A Winner Usez His Thumb 2 Show Victory
But A Monkey Iz Uzing Thumb T0 Read This Message.

==============================

Mera Sweetheart
Mera Kuchikoo
Mera Nonumonu
Mera Golumolu
Mera Darling
Mera Cutipie
Mera JaNu
Mera Lovely
Mera Heartbeat
Mera Sweetest
DOGGY Khoo Gayaa Dikhay T0 BataNaa.

==============================
Sotay Huwe Ko Jagaye Hum
Apki Neend Uraaye Hum
Ixx Time Sms Karkay Ap ko Sataaye Hum
Phir Apko Ghussaa Aaye or
Uss Ghussey Me Jab Ap Yaad Karey
T0 Muskuraaye Hum.

==============================
Premi Apni Premika Se:
Teri Galiyon Mein Na Rakhenge Kadam Aaj Ke Baad..
Arre Zaalim Keechad Bahut Ho Jaata Hai Barsaat Ke Baad.

==============================

Purushuttam Shree RamchNdrji Ko LiNka Safar K Liye
50 BNdaroo Kee Zarurat Hai
49 Poohanch Chukay Hai
Sms parhtay He TurNtt Nikl0
JAI SHRee RAM.

==============================

HNdz Up! Thiz Iz A Robbery
HNds0me Guyx, Move T0 The Right
Pretty Girlx, Move Left
Ugly 1s, Go T0 The Centre
Hey U, Yes U Don’t Pretend T0 Read the Sms
Go T0 The Centre.

==============================


Wo Taxa ThNda PaNee
Wo Khuxhboodaar Saaboon
Bathrum Shampooo Ki Botal Se Sajaa He
Tum Kya JaaNo, Dear
Rox NahaNey Me Kitnaa Maza He.

==============================
PaaNi Me Tairnaa Machchali Ka Style
Hawaa Me Urrna PNchi Ka Style
Different Messge Bhejna Apnaaa Style
Free Me Sms Parrna Aapkaa Style
Parh0 Parh0 KaNjus.

==============================

Only
Only
Only
Only
Only
Only
Only
Dixturbbb Karnaa Thaaa.

==============================
ShaitaaN Ne Kahaa Kisi Neik InsaN Ka Numbr Do
Apun Usk0 TNg Karega
Mainay Aapka Numbr Diya T0 ShaitaaN Bolaa
Abeeey, Marwayegaa Kya?
Ye T0 B0ss Ka Numbr Hai.

==============================

Kabhee Hoxlaa B Aazma Lena Xhaahiye
Buray Waqt Me Muskura Lena Xhaahiye
Agar Saatvay Din Bhi Khujli Na Mitay T0
Aathway Din Naha Lena Xhaahiye.

==============================

Doct0rx Nd Nursex R Waiting 4 N Operation 0f A Mental
But Operation N08 Yet Started
Bcoz Mental Patient Bz In Reading Sms
Jaldi Parho.

==============================
What Iz Mean8 By ABCDEFG?
A Boy CN Do Evrything 4 Girl
GFEDCBA MeaNx?
Girl Forgetx Everythingz Done & CatcheX New BoyX Again.

==============================

To0hra Mukhraa: ChNda K Sam,AN
To0hra RNg: ChNda K Sam,AN
To0hre Baaal: ChNda Ke Sam,AN
Or ChNda: Hamara Bhaisiya K Naam.

==============================Larka: Main Keyaa Sohneyo, Jutti Te Barri Sohni Pai Hoi Hai
Larki: Utarun Kyaa?
Larka: Main Keyaa Pajaami Te Aur V Sohni Ee Hai.

==============================

Nazar Jhukee T0 PaimaNey BNy
Sharaab BNi T0 MaikhaNey BNy
Koi Na Koi Bat Aap Mein Xaroor He Aisi
Yuhin T0 Nahi Pagal KhNe BNy.



==============================
Sitam Denay Ki B HAD Hoti Hai
Kisi K0 Satanay Ki B HAD Hoti Hai
SMS Karnay Ki Koxhixh Karle Doxt
Muftt Main SMS Parnay Ki B HAD Hoti Hai.

==============================

Boy Did The Mixtake
Girl Xhoutd A8 Him
Boy Said, Xorry
Girl Did The Mixtake
Boy Xhoutd A8 Her
Girl Star8 Cryng
Boy Said Xorry.

==============================

Usnay Utari SaRae Fir Aayi Peticoat Ki
Bari Blouse To Pehly Hi Diya Tha Utaar
Ziyadah Excited Mat Ho Yaar
Yeah Thaa Kapade Sukhanay Ka Taar.

==============================

70 Year Old Man Says To HIx Wife
Darling Main TmhR Liye ChaNd TaR Tod Laaunga

Wife Replies, “Daant Se Roti To Tootti Nahi
GaNd Say Akhrood Todnay Ki Baat Kartay Hou.

==============================

Santa Nay Apni Sagaai Tood Di Kyunki Ladki Virgin Thi

When Asked Why Santa

Bola: Joj Aaj Taak KIxi Ki Nahi Hui Woh Meri KaIxe Ho Sakti Hai.

==============================

Banta After Sex: Kaha Tha Nah Condom Kay Jagahn Rumal Sy Maat Kero
Ab Rumal Ndar Rahegaya Na
Banta: Oye, +ive Thinking Rakh! Bachha Pagri Pahenkay Aye Ga.

==============================

Bus Mein Jagah Na Honay Pay Ladki Koh
Ek Uncle Nay Godi Mein Bitha Liya

Thodi Dair Baad Ladki Jhatke Se Uthi Aur Bolee
Uncle:Yaa Toh “Usko” Bithao Ya Mujhkouh.

==============================
Chote Pappu Ki Ummar Per Kuch Ganay Pesh Hai
5 Se 15 : Papa Kehte Hain Bada Nam KaRega
16 Se 26 : Dhoom Macha De Dhoom
27 Se 40 : Kabhi Khushhi Kabhi Ghaam
41 Se 55 : Kaal Hou Nah Ho
56 Ke Baad : Pappu Can’t Dance Saaaalaaaa
Dicheek Dicheek.

==============================

Boy: Sex Me Dono Ko Maza Aatahai
Fir Ladki Se Hi PaIxay Q Call Girl

Girl: Bewkuf, Charge Outgoing
Par Hi Lagta Hai.Incomong Per Nahi.


==============================



Boy: Sex Me Dono Ko Maza Aatahai
Fir Ladki Se Hi PaIxay Q Call Girl

Girl: Bewkuf, Charge Outgoing
Par Hi Lagta Hai.Incomong Per Nahi.


==============================

Garibi Se Tang Akar Pati Bola
Lagta Hai Ab Dono Hath Failane Padenge
Ix Per Patni Boli Jaldi Kero Nhi
Toh Mujhko 2ono Tangay Failani Padengi.

==============================

Garib Wife- Suno Ji “WhIxper” Chahiye.
Garib HusbNd: Yaha Bhukh Mitane Ke Liye
Roti Nahi Aur Tujhay ChooT
Sukhanay Kay Liye Doubleroti Chahiyeah.

==============================

One Sperm To Another B4 Masturbating
“Main Doctor Banunga”
“Main Engineer Banunga”
“Main Lawyer Banunga”
“Main Ias Banunga”
After Masturbating
All Feel
“Saala Mera Kareeayar (CaReer) Barbaaad Kerdiya”.

==============================
Dosti Gahri Ho Toh Raang Lati Hai
Doxti Kacchi Ho Toh Toot Jaati Hai
Dosti Nadan Ho Toh Mit Jaati Hai
Dosti Hmse Hou Toh Itihas Baanati Hai.





==============================

Khuda Karay Tujay AIxi Bimari Lagay
Tu Barapay Mein Bhi Kanwari Lagay

Darjan Ho Jain Teray Bachay
Tu Phir Bhi Hm Koh Peyari Lagay.

==============================

Jab Saay Sunaa Hi K Muree Jah Rahi Hou Tm

Tub Saay He Mere Jan Mara Jah Raha Houn May.

==============================

Intelgence Test
Agr Ankhain Milnaay Kay Baad 2 Or 2 =4 Hooti Hein Tou
2 Dil Milnay Kay Baad Aik Kiyon Hoo Jataay Hain?.

==============================

Ques 4 Genious Mindx:
1 Admi Car Main 2 Larkion K 7 Baitha Hai
Car K Pas 1 Admi Aya Or Car Wale
Sa Posha K In 2no Larkion Se Tmhara Kia RIxhta Hai?
Car Wale Na Jawab Dia Jo
Meri Car Ka Number Ha
Wo hMera In Sa RIxhta Hay!
Car Ka Number Hai 2989.
in Kah RIxhta Batain
Hay Genious Walon Ki Baat.

==============================

Tairaay Mairaay Peyar Ka AIxa Nataa Hay
*
!
*
!
*
Daikh K Soorat Teri Muj Koh
*
!
*
!
*
Haaaxxa Aata Hai.

==============================

Gham Ix Qadar Mila Ghabra K A Gae
Khoshi Thori Si Mili Milaa Kay Pi Gae
Yon Na The Penay Ki Adaat
Sharab Ko Tanha Dekha toh Taraas Kha K Pi Gae.



Kabhi Kabhi Choti Choti Chezi Bhi Taklif Deti Hein
Agr Ap Ko Yakeen Nhi Hai Toh Soi Per Bhet Ker Dhiko.

==============================

Bakrey Ne Kaha Bakri Say Aii Janay Man
Ab Key Ham Bechrey
Toh Shayad Kabhi Kababoon Mai Millain.

==============================
5 Pathanoon Ne Mil Kar Aik Taxi Kharideay
15 Din Ho Gae Un Ko Sawari Dhondtay
Huway Laikien Un Ko Sawari Nahi Mili
Kyon Ke 2 Pathan Aagay Aor 3 Pathan
Pechay Baith Kar Sawaari Dhoond Rahay Thay.

==============================

Question: What Do U Call
Sardar In A Tree With A Brief Case?
*
!
*
!
.Answer: A Branch Manager.

==============================

Itna Khubxurat Kaise Muskura Lete Ho?
Itna Qatil Kexe Sharma Lete Ho?
Itna Pagal Kexay Banaa Letay Ho?
Bachpaan Se Hi Kaminaay Ho
Yeah Shakaal Aisi Bana Lete Hou?.

==============================

App Ki 5 Khubbiaan

1——–
2——–
3——–
4——–
5——–
Agar Zindaagi Main Koi Baadiyaa Kaam Kiyaa Houta
Toh Ajj Yeah Jagaan Khali Nhi Huti.

==============================

:: Deadly Poor Jokes ::

Joh 1 Galti Kary Woh
Anjaan.
Joh 2 Glti Kary Woh
Nadan.
Joh 3 Galti Kry Woh
Shetan.
Joh Galtion Pe Galtion
Kaary Woh
Sardar.

==============================

Leg’x Uthaa Kar Karo
Ghumma Ghuma Kar Karo
Aage Peechey Dono Taraf Karo
Jitnaa Karogay Utna Halka Mehxxoos Hoga

Ramdev Ji Kah Yogga.

==============================

A Lady To Another Lady: Jab Teraa Divorce Huwa Thaa
Tab Toh Eik Hi Baccha Tha Aoor Abb 3 Kaisay?

She Say’s: Woh Kabhee Kabhee Maafi Maangne Aaa Jate Thay.

==============================
Girl’x Hoxtel Me Phone Aaya: Seemaa Hai Kiya?

Warden Ke Puchaa Aage Kiya Lagati Hai?

Jawaab Aaya: Abb Pata Nahi
Doh Mahinay Pahele Toh Stayfree Lagaati Thii.


Eik Hijde Ne Viagra Kha Liya
Sharir Ke Andaar Say Aawaz Aayee
“Mafi Chahtay Hain”

Aap Ke System Me Yeah Suvidha Uplabadh Nahi Hai

Error :No HardwaRe Prexent”

==============================

Skodaa Recently Launched
New Car Model Namad Laurra
All Driver’s Will Have Tough
Time When Their Memsahaab Will Say
“Driver Lauraa Nikaaluu”.

==============================

What Iz Pure Hindi Name Of Condom?

Rubber Ki Chiknaayi Yukaat Prajanaan
Virodhaak Mardaana Leeng Ki Toopi.

==============================
What Iz The Tragedy Of Hindi Film Sholaay?

Eik Toh Thaakur Ki Biwi Nahi Thi Upar Se
*
!
*
!
*
!
*
Gabbaar Nay Uskay Haath Bhe Kaaat Diyaa.

==============================

Husband: Plz Karne Dona
Wife: Nahe

Husband: Pakarnaay Toh Dou.

Wif: Nahi

Husband: Dabanay To Dou.

Wife: Nahi.

Husband: Sirf Dikhao To Sahi.

Wif :Nahi
Ajj Toh Remote Pakadne Nahi Dungi
Uske Buton Bhi Dabane Nahi Dungi
Aoor Match Bhe Dekhnay Nahee Dohngi

Ajj Toh Siriaal Hi Chalegi
Aixaa App Ke Sath Bhi Hotaa Hoga Nah.

==============================

Kisi Condom Company Nay
World-Cup Koh Sponser Kiya Hota
To Uski Advertisment Me Aisay Liktaay

Cover Ur Stump Before U Pump.

==============================

Moorkh Tha Shahjahan
Joh Karodo Kharche Taj Par
Moorkh Tha Shahjahan
Joh Karodo Kharche Taj Par
Roz Ek Nayi Mumtaaz Aatee
Uss Karodo Kei Byaaaj Par.

==============================

Masoom Dhamki:
1 Chor Chori Kaar Kay Ghaaar Se Jaa Raha Thaa K Bachay Ki Aaankhh Khuul Gai
Bacha Bola:
Mera School Baag Bhi Lay Jaa Kami-Ne Warnaa Shor Maacha Duonga.

==============================

Santa : Oye Tu Larki Dheakh Aayaa? Kaisi Hai?
Banta : Rang Say Kaali Hai AOr Kaan Se Kaam Sunti Hai

Santa : Zaraa Englixxh Me Baataa

Banta : ‘BLACK-BERRY’ Hai.

==============================
Santa: Jab Me Chota Tha Toh Eik Baar Kutub Minaaar Say Ger Gaaya Tha
Banta: Acha!Toh Mar Gya Ya Bach Gaya
Santa: Saale. Mujhay Keya Pata, Me Toh Chota Tha.






SANTA:- Yaar Tujhay Bus Mein Thapaaar Kiyon Paraaa?

BANTA:- Pata Ni Yaar,Meri Photo Nichay Gir Gayi Thi
Maine Kaha Bahenji Zara Saari Uppar Karnah Photo Laini Haai.

==============================
Santa : Oye Tu Larki Dheakh Aayaa? Kaisi Hai?
Banta : Rang Say Kaali Hai AOr Kaan Se Kaam Sunti Hai

Santa : Zaraa Englixxh Me Baataa

Banta : ‘BLACK-BERRY’ Hai.

==============================

Santa Ne Apnay 6 Month Kay Baby Ki Birthday Paarty Raakhi
*
Kisinay Puxha: 6month K Baby Kah Brthday Kaisay?
*
Santa: Hm Semester System Ko Follow Kartay Hain.

==============================

Train Me Warning Likhie Thi
*
!
*
Binaa Ticket Saafar Krnay Walay Yaatri Hossheyaar
*
!
*
Santa- Waah , Toh Jisnay Ticket Li Woh Chu-Ti-Yeah ?

==============================

Teacher – Un Do King’x Kah Naam Batao Jinhone
Duniya Ke Logo Ko Nayi Raah Pay Chalaya

Santa – Sir

1.Smo King

2.Drin King.

==============================

Santa Roz Subha 50 LadKeyan Meraa Intezaar Karti Hain
Man- R Wah Vo Kaise?
Santa- Main Girl’x Collage Kah Busdriver Hu Na.

==============================

Master- 2 Me Say 2 Gaye To Kitne Rhe?
Santa-Samjh Me Nhi Aya Masterji.
Mster-Beta TmR Pas 2 Roti H,Tmne 2 Roti Khali
TmaRay Paas Keya Bacha?
Santa-Sabji.

==============================

Santa:Muje Zehaar Dianah
Chemist:Pehle Dr. Say Lekhwaa K Lao
Santa:Apni Shaadi Kaaah Card Dikhataaa Hai
Chemist:Bus Kaar Bhai Rulayegaa Keyaah,Baadi Bottle Duu Yeah
Chhoti.

==============================

SANTA:Maine Apni Beti Ka Shaadi Sirf 2500rs Mein Keya
BANTA:Woh Kaise?
SANTA:Maine Use 2500 Ka Ek Mobile Dilaaya
Usnay Love Marriage Karliya.

==============================

SANTA :Apka Kuttaa Toh Sher Jaisa Deakhtaa Hai Keya Khilate Ho Isaay

BANTA:Abe Woh Sheer Hi Hai Saaa-Laa PYAAR-WYAAR Kay Chakkar Me
Kutte Jaixaaa Dikhnaay Laagaa Hai.




Hasi K Liye Ansu Kurban
Khusxi K Liye Gum Kurbaan
Dost K Liye Toh Jaan (B) Kurbaan
Agr Dost Ki Girlfrnd Mil Jaye Toh Saalaa Doxxt (B) Kurbaan.

==============================

Santa Koh Raaat Mein CigRtte Peenay Kaa Maan Keeya

Saab Taaraf Machis Dhoondaa, Paar Kahi Nhee Milaa
*
!
*
!
*
!
*
!
*

Aakhir Me Niraash Hoke CaNdle Bujjhaa Kay Soo Gaya.

==============================
Paati Aor Patni Mein Jhagraaa Hoo Rahaa Tha

Pati: Tu Saay Li Kutti

Patni: Tu Saa Laa Kuttaa

Bachhe:- Hi. Hi..Hi Hm Sa Le Pilleee.

==============================

Masoom Dhamki:
1 Chor Chori Kaar Kay Ghaaar Se Jaa Raha Thaa K Bachay Ki Aaankhh Khuul Gai
Bacha Bola:
Mera School Baag Bhi Lay Jaa Kami-Ne Warnaa Shor Maacha Duonga.

==============================
1 Larki Ny Coin Daal Kay Apnaa Wazaan Kiyaa-58kg
SAndal Utari-56.
Jacket Utari-53.
Fir Dupata-52kg.
Aur Coin Khaatm.
1 Bhikhari Bola: Tu Chalu Raakh Sikke Mai Dalonnga.

==============================

2 CHUHE Bike Pay GHuum Raheay Thy
Tabbhi SHER Ne Lift Mangi.
To 1 CHUHA Khada Hokar Bola- Soch Le Teri Maa Fir Kahegi Ki
*
!
*
!
*
!
*
!
*
Gundo Ke Sath GHmne Lagaaa Haay Ajj-Kal.”

==============================
Edit Mein Jao AOr SaR XYZ Dlete Karo 1 Swal Bnaigaa Uss Kah Jawaab Dena.
Jaldi

==============================

Boy To Jyotishi
BOY-Meri Koi Girlfrnd Kiyon Nahi Baan Rahi Hai?
Jyotishi- Kaise Banegi?
*
!
*
!
*
!
*
!
*
Kundlee Mein Sukh Hi Suukh Likhaa Hai.

==============================
Kahtay Hai Ishq Karnay Valoun
Koh Neend Bhut Kaaam Ahti Hai
R Yaar Koi Hamse Bhi Toh Ishq KaaR
Hame Neend Bhut Aati Hai.

==============================

Doston Ajj Hm Eik
Ajeeb Prani Ke BaRe Me Padhenge Iss Jeev Kah Naam He
“Biwi”
Yeh Aam Taur Par Rasoi Or Tv
K Samne Payi Jati Hai
Inka Poustik Aahar Hai-Pati Kah BHEJA
Ye Pani Kam Khoon
Jyada Piti Hai
Inhe Aksaar Naraaz Hone
Ka NATAK Karte Hue
Dekha Jata Hai
Is Prani Ka Sabse
Khatarnak Hathiyar He
RONA Or Emotionally
Blackmail Karna
Uske Sampark Me
Rehnay Se TENSION
Naaam Ki Bimari Hoo
Sakti He,
Jiska Ilaaz Bahut Muskil Hai
Baas Insay Savdhaan Rehnaa
“Bharatiyaa Puruush Bachaav Saaamiti” Dwara Janhit Me Jari.





Ajj No Vichaaar-

SUKH Toh Tamaaru Punyaaa Haase
Tetlu Malse J

Parantu

ShantiI Toh Tamnay Ghaarwali Ni Icchha Hasshe Teetli J Malse.

==============================

Girlfrnd Ki Sister Agaar Mixxed Call KaR Toh Usse Keya Kahengay?
*
!
*
!
*
!
*
!
*
!
*
Betaaa
Mann Mein 2usra Laaddu Phuutta.

==============================

The Best Msg Ever :
Telebrands Tv Channel Par Advertisment
Hello Dostoun
Pehle Mai Bahut Dukhi Rehtaa Tha
Hamesha Hatash Rahta Tha
Mujhse
Padhai Nahi Ho Pati Thi
Gharwalo Ke Taanay Sun Kay Roo Diya Karta Tha
Fir Maine Iss Naye Product Ke BaaR Me Sunaa-
!!!…WIFE…!!!
Yeah Vakai
Lajwaaab Haai
Ab Mein Puri Neend 2 Ghante Me Hi Kar Leta Hu
Duniya Bhar Ke Taane Aur Galiya Hans Ke Sun Leta Hu
Kitni Bhi Musibat Aaye Khuxxh Rehta Hu
Dukh Sukh Ki Tenxxion Say Upaaar Uth Gya Hu
Nark-Swaarg Yahi Hai Samjhta hu
Dushmano Say Piyaaar Hoo Gaayaa Hai
Jai Hoo WIFE Ki
Saach Me
Yeah Vaakai Asaardaar Haai.

==============================

SANTA Nay Nayi Car Kharidi AOr Uskay Darvazay Paar Kiyaa Likhaaya?
*
!
*
Sochoo
*
!
*
Sochooo
*
!
*

Socho
*
!
*
DARWAJAA BAHAR KI TaRf OPEN KaRay.

==============================
Master : Tmnay Homework Nhi Keya
Batao Keya Sajaa Doh?

Boy : Woh Ladki Joh Last Seat Pay Baithi Hai
Usne B Nhi Keya,Hm Dono Koh Baher Nikaal Doh.

==============================

Pati-Darling Ajj Khana Tmhari Ma Ne Bnaya Hai Keya?
Patni-Lekin Yeah Baaat Tmheay Kaise Paata?

Pati-Rooz Khane Main Kalay Baal Milteay Thay
Ajj Safeed Mile Han.

==============================

Aapki Aankhein
Aapkaah Chehraa

App Kah Anadaaz
App Ki Smile

App Kah Style
Appki Personality
Aapkah Smartnexx
Kassh Koi Cheeez Toh Aapkay Paas Huti.

==============================
Machar Nay Eik Aadmi Koh Din Mein Kata
Aadmi Bola:Tm Toh Raat Mein Kaaat-Tay Hoo Nah.?
Machar Bola:Ghar Ke Halaat Kharaab Hai
Ixx Liye Over Time Kaar Raahaa Huon.

==============================
Mariz:Dr Mere Paas Paisayy Nahi Hai
Aap Meraa Ilaaaj Kaar Doh Toh Kabhe
Aapke Kaaam Aoungah
Dr:Kya Kaam Karti Ho?
Mariz:Qabaar Khoddetaa Houn.

==============================

Santa Nay Bhagtay Huway Bux Pakraa
Aor Driver Say Pucxhaa
Buss Teri Maa Lagti Hai
Driver Nahi
Behaan Nhi
Beewi Nhi
Toh Kami-Nay Pakdnaay Q Nhee Daiitaa Hai.


==============================

Maa Apnay Bete Koh 20 Saal Tak
“Gental” Banati Hai Aoor Ek Larki
20 Second Mein Use
“Mental”Bana Dayti Haai.
It’x True

==============================

Kitne Haseen Hoo Tm Khudkoh Dusroun Ki
Naazzar Say Bchaaya Kaaro
Kala Tika Lagana Kafi Nah
Gale Mein Limbbu Mirch Bhie Latkayaah Karo.

==============================

Your Laxt recharge Of 300 Rs/- Iz Suxxxessful
Current Balnce Iz 291 Rs
To Check Balnc Dial *121*2#.
*
!
*
!
*
!
*
!
*
!
*
R Aap Toh Aasani Se Phans Gaye
4rm-Sahir.

==============================

Teacher Student Se
Dabang Kah Mean Keya Hota H?
Golu-Yes Main Jantaa Huon
Teacher-Batao Kiyaa Hotaa H?
Golu-Avi App Kah Sir Fhood Dohnn
Toh Aap Koh Pata Chaal Jayegah.

==============================

Woh To Aaj Bhi Humaay Deakh kar Shaarmati
Muskurati Hai
Aur Nazarien Jhukatee Hai
Khambkhaat Toh Unkay Bache Haai Jo
Maamuu Maaamuu’ Kehkar Bulataay Hain.

==============================
College Mein 1 Larrki Aayii
Dekh Ke Saabkoh Woh Ghaabraai
Madam Ne Pucha Naam
Toh Woh zoor Say Chilai AOr Kaaha
*
!
*
!
*
!
*
!
*
Name: Jaaleebi Baai.

==============================

Hm Unki Gali Say Guzray Yeah Ek Itefaaak Thaa
Ghorr Farmayeah
Hm Unki Gali Se Guzre Yeah Ek Itefaak Thaa
Upaar Say Eik Phool Giraa Hm Pay
Lekin
Gamlaa Bhe Uske Saath Tha.

==============================
Chote Toh Bade

Abe Bataa “B” Koh Humexha Thand Kyo Lagti Hai.?
Bade- Mujhe Nahi Pata..
Chote- Socho***Socho***Or Socho***
Bade-Abi Nahi Pataa
Chote- Kiyuon Ki
*
!
*
!
*

Woh Humexhaa “A” Or “C” Kai Bicxh Mein
Rehtti Haai Naah.

==============================

Sweet Kiss- Sar Par
Lovely Kiss Gaaloo Per
Most Romantic
Kiss-Honthoun Par
Nd The Hot Kiss?
Bike Ke Silenxxer Per

Try It”Kyuki Dar Ke
Aagay Jeeet He”.

==============================

Wife: Kitnaa Piyar Kartay Ho Hame?
Hsbnd: Shahjhan jettna
Wife: Mere Marne K Bad Taj Mahal Bnaoge?
Husbnand: Mai Ploot Bhe Lay Chuka Hu Pagli
Der Toh Tu Kaar Rahe Haai.

Sardar said ” Dear google please don’t do just like my wife can you please complete me to say what i want to say”



==============================

Sardar to teacher: Why did you call me yesterday?

Teacher: I didn’t
Sardar: Then why my phone says 1 missed Call



==============================

Kahan kahan usay dunda ju sath tha meere
Ju nechaqy dekha thu rehata hay mere dil may wu



==============================

Teacher: what is difference between a politician and a magnet?

Student: A magnet has positive side



==============================

Bank Teller: How do you like the money?

Customer: I like it very very much



==============================

Teacher : You miss the school yesterday.

didn’t you?

student  : Not very much



==============================

What happened to your   network?
I tried many times to caal you but the operator said :

“Welcome to  the jungle, the monkey you  are trying to call is on the tree….Plz try later.



==============================

Teacher : What is difference between a lawyer and a liar?

Student: only pronounciation



==============================

Hello i am a virus and i am entering you brain now

Don’t worry i am leaving because i didn’t find any mind



==============================
Does you Know the fact?

Excessive use of alcohol can lead ro pregnancy






Be nice to those who smoke ciggerete beacuse it might be his last one



==============================

Be friendly with your Kids because they choose your home when you are old



==============================
Terey galee kuchay may mujay din say raat karna
Kabhee is say bhaat karna, Kabhee us say bhaat karna



==============================

Teacher: Is ku jumlay may estemaal karu.

Pathan:  Jaisay hee may nay mu ku nal mu say laga liya aur nal start kiya thu mere mu may paani aagaya



==============================

Girlfriend: Chand kahan hay?
BP: Aik tum hu aur aik upar

After marriage

Biwi: Chand kahan hay?
Husband: andhee hay kya? wu upar tera baap light leke beta hay kya?



==============================

Sardar paoun may rase band raha tha kisi nay pucha kya kar rahay hu

Sardar: Khud kushee

Usnay bula lekin us kay liye thu galay may rasee dhalthay hain

Sarday: pehlay galay mey daal diya lekin us say saans hee band huraha tha



==============================

Teacher: wu kun hay ju urhtee hawa pay hay lekin bachay zameen pay deti hay

Sardar: Kafee der suchnay kay baad

Air Hostes



==============================

What is moral of the following movies?

Ashiqee 2
Jannat
Devdas
Murder
Fanaa
Awarapan and
Titanic

think please

moral: Bachay kay chakkar may jo parha wu kuttay ki mout mara



==============================

Ak masum Latifa
Bacha maa say:
mama may kasy pada howa?

Maa:
may ny ak box may mate dal kr
rakh Di thi.Phr kuch Din bad
us may say tum mily mujy….

Bachy ne b is tara kya or box
may mate dal kr rakh di…
kuch din bad bachy ne ja kr box
dikha to ak Cockroach tha.

Bacha Gusa say:
Dil To krta ha tujy Goli mar Do
phr kya kro Ulad ha Tu mare…

==============================

Night In A Bar:
Bartender: Who Are You? I never Saw You Before…
Man: Yeah! I Just Lost My Job & Came Here For A Drink :(
.
Bartender: What Kind Of Job?
Man: Well.. I Am A Consultant .
Bartender: Whats That?
Man: Its a Logical Thinker.
.
Bartender: Logical Think , What???
Man: Let me Explain it With an Example

Do You Have A Dog? .
Bartender: Yes!
Man: That Means You Love Animals
Bartender: True!
Man: That Mean You Love Your Kids Too
Bartender: Yes True!
.
Man: You Have Kids That Means You Are Married.
Bartender: Very True!!

Bartender: Amazing man How u Know all This?
Man: Thats Logical Thinking ..
Now U Are Married To A Lady So You Are Not Gay!!.
Bartender: Impressive
.
Man: Time To leave… Bye Tc
.
About 20 Mins Later Bartender Boss Came…
Bartender: Boss You Know I met A Consultant Today
.
Boss: Whats That??
Bartender: A Logical Thinker…
.
Boss: Logical What??
Bartender: I Explain It With An Example
Boss: Okay!
.
Bartender( ask first question): Do You Have A DOG?
Boss: No!!

Bartender: That Means You Are Gay!!!
.
Boss: KAMINE, KUTTE TU GAY…SAALE…YOU ARE FIRED





Girl:
Muje Apna Mobile Dedo Me Isko Dekh K
Tumhe Yaad Krungi,
Boy:
Tum Ye Soch K Mujhe Yaad Ke Lena K
Mane Manga Tha Usne Nahi Dya.
Wadi Ai Chlako.

==============================

Dad entered son’s room and found him a sleep on his books, tired of exams studies .
.
.
.
.
Walked closer to him, played with his hair softly and slapped his face and said:
.
.
.
. “last comment on Facebook 1 mint ago”

==============================

Ek Car ki Nilami ho rahi thi,
20 lac
25 lac
30 lac

Ek aadmi ne herani se Car ki kharab halat pe ghor kiya, usay Car me koi cheez theek na lagi to usne paas khade ek aadmi se poocha:
Bhai is khatara Car me aisi kon si khoobi hai ke is ka itna daam lag raha hai?
.
Aadmi bola: Janab ab tak is Car ke 10 haadse ho chukay hain,
aur acchi bat ye ke har haadse me sirf aur sirf “Biwi” hi mout hui hai… 😛
.
.
Aadmi ne awaz lagai: 40 lakh….:P 😀

==============================

Manzilon ko paane ka jazba hota hai jinke andar,
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Wo chaurahon par khade ladkiyan nahi tadte 😉

==============================
Wo kab se talwar Liye mere piche
bhag rahi hai doston
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Maine to impress karne ke liye,
mazak me gana gaya tha-
Dil chir k dekh tera hi naam hoga

==============================

A man buys a lie detector robot which slaps people who lie.

He decides 2 test it @ dinner.

Dad : Son, where were u today during school hours ?

Son : At School. Robot slaps son! Ok, I lied, I went to the movies.

Dad : Which one ?

Son : Toy Story. Robot slaps son again! Ok, it was reshma ki jawani.

Dad : What ?! When I was ur age, I never watched such films….Robot slaps Dad!

Mom : Ha ha! After all he’s ur son.

Robot slaps mom!! Total silence..!! :O

==============================
Story of MATH.

Aaj se 300 saal pehle MATH bohot masoom aur pyara tha.

Ek din kuch badmash students ne MATH ko bohot mara yahan tak ki Math ki aakhri Sans thi marte marte sab students ko badua de gyi.

Aur

Ye keh ker is dunia se chala gya k mein to ja raha hoon lekin MATHS

M = Meri
A = Aatma
T = Tumhe
H = Hamesha
S = Satayegi

Aaj bhi math ki aatma bhatak rahi hai aur saare students ko sata rahi hai aur hamesha satati rahegi..






==============================
Petrol pump se 21 KM door
1 Fauji truck ka petrol khatam
ho gaya
2nd seat par Major beitha tha
Balu driver ne Major ko
bataya k Sir Petrol pump tak dhakka lagana
parray ga
Sub neechay utray Aur
Dhakka Lagana shuru kia
kaafi dair baad
Petrol pump par pahunch gaye
Kuchh jawan thak k behosh ho gaye
Balu ne petrol dalwana shuru kia to
Major ne kaha k
Peechhy jo drum hai
Us me bhe dalwa Lo
Balu:
Sir, Wo tou full hai
Emergency k liye rakha hua hai

==============================

Marne Ke 3 Tarike.. ??
1) Roz Cigaret piyo, 30 Saal Mein
Marogey..
2) Roz Drink karo, 15 Saal Mein
Marogey..
.
.
.
.
3) Kisi Se Saccha Pyar Karo.. Kasam se….. Jite Jee Mar jaogey…::O

==============================

Wife standing in front of a mirror and telling to her husband,
“I am fat, old, wrinkled and no longer pretty..
But can you still give me a good
compliment ??”
Husband replied,
“Yes..
Your eyesight is still excellent.”





Achi Baaten
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Choro Tum Ne Konsa Amal Krna HAi
.
.
.
.
\(,”)>
) ( Let’s Dance
< “\_
Billo Thomka Laga
Billo

==============================

1 Sardar ne FootPath ko rang
karne ka theka lia… 1st day os ne 3 K.M rang kia..
2 din 2 K.M..
3 din 1 K.M.. Ik admi ne pocha.. Kya bat hay Sardar Jee
1st day 3 K.M
2nd din 2 K.M
3rd din 1 K.M Rang kia hay,
Is ki waja? To Sardar Jee bole: PAA Jee Rang da daba v te wekho kinna
door reh gya ae.:P

==============================

Professor : What is Attenti0n dificiethyperactive disorder ???

Student: Jhinga lala huRRRRRRrrrrr Hurrrrrr

Professor: yeh kia hAi ?

Student: phle btao woh kia tha ? :p 😀

==============================
Ek Larka Darbar Par GAya Wahan 7 Peer
Zameen Par Darrian Bicha Kar Bethay Thay,
.
Peer Sab:Beta Kia MAsla Hai,
Kiun Aaye ho?
.
Larka:Baba Gi Jis Larki Say Mein Pyar Karta Tha,
Usne Kisi Doosre Se Shadi Kar li Hai.
.
.
.
.
.
Peer Sab:Chotay Andron Ik or Darri le aa.
Navay Peer Sab Aaye ne.

==============================

Classic bezzati

GIRL: What’s the proof that you
miss me?

BOY:See my cheeks,
my mom slapped me..
because i was smiling while sleeping”thinking of you”.

Girl: Itna pyaar karte ho..

BOY: Nahi,
shakal dekh k hassi aa jaati
hai.

==============================

Girl- Muje kisi mehngi jagah pe ghumane le chalo na.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Boy- Chal teyar ho ja Pahle petrol pump fir gas agency Baad me sabji mandi chalenge……..:D 😀

C==============================

BOY : I want us to be in a relationship.

GIRL : Its okay but under one condition

BOY : Which one ?

GIRL : No sex coz am preserving it for my future husband.

BOY : That’s okay, I also have my condition

GIRL : Which one ?

BOY : No using of my money coz am preserving it for my future wife!!! :p =)

==============================

My relationship status:
..
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Waiting f0r sabr ka meetha phal.

==============================

1 Girl ne 1 chote se bacche k gaal pe
kiss kiya…
.
.
.
.
.
GIRL-Oh sorry,
tumhare gaal me lipstick lag gai..
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Baccha- Kuch accha karne se,
agar daag lagte h to daag achE hai. . .

Aj Kal k BacHe

==============================

Biology sir: Can you tell me exactly where is your heart ♥ ?

(All boys shouted loudly)
!
!
!
In girls hostel !!!

Teacher smiled and said : MERA BHI




5 girls are needed to change a Bulb…..
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
one will change the bulb
&
other 4
.
.
.
.
hayye ALLAH
uffff ALLAH
Dekhhh karr
daihan se
O GOD……:…:D

==============================

Special English shayari
.
.
.
‘The janaza of aashiq is
nikla from the gali of
mehbuba with very zor-
shor,
.
.
‘The janaza of aashiq is
nikla from the gali
of mehbuba with very
zor-shor,
.
.
.
The mehbuba jhaaki
from the door & boli
Mar gaya haramkhor..:p:p

==============================

Arz Kiya Hai
_______________ ­ ­ _

:
:
:
:
:
:
:
PEN Hi Kharab Ho Gayee
Warna Shayari To Tufani Thi…:)

==============================
Sochta hun Aapki ROOH mai utar ke dekhu…..:) 😀
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
konsa purza hai jo apko mere post like nahi
karne deta 😛
(‘.’)
<)(> Screw-driver
_/\_ to laooo chotu…..???

==============================

Life is full of problems.
But we should be thankful to Punjabis.
They have discovered a simple KEY to remove all tensions.
That KEY is called
.
.
.
Saanu-Key

==============================

Once A Keera saw a piece of Gurr,
He went to eat it,
But
On the way he saw a keeri,
He left the Gurr & went with keeri.
MORAL:
*Gurr nalo ishq mitha*

==============================

Sad Story. 1 Aunty Thi Unki 1 Beti Thi Wo Uski Boht Care Krti Thi,

Baal Sanwarti Thi, Poniyan Bandhti Thi k Bachi Achi Dikhay.

Pr Bachi Ki Aankhain Hamesha Bahir Rehti Theen Aise (0_0)

Aunty Ne Boht Docters Ko Dikhaya Lekn Wo Sahi Nhi Hui.

Phr 1 Baba Ko Dikhaya To Wo 1 Mint Mai Sahi Ho Gai.

Aunty Boht khush B hui or heran B..

Phr Baba Se Pucha k Aap nay Aisa Kya Kiya k Wo 1 dam Sahi Ho Gai…

Baba Ny Kaha: Main Ny Sirf Bachi Ki Poniyan Dheeli Ki hn.:-D

==============================

Ek Chor
Ek Gangster
Aur
Ek Murderer
Ek Hi Gadi Me Jaa Rahe The..
Tab
Wo Gadi Kaun Chala Raha Tha
?
?
Socho
?
?
?
?
?
Ek POLICE OFFICER 😛

==============================

At a bus stand in Lahore,

An American Doctor got Heart attack after reading a Books Name:

How to Become a DOCTOR in 30 Days.

Rs. 150/-:p

==============================

Kaash wo din bhe aa jaye jb aik
line 3 baar kahun.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Qabool hai
Qabool hai
Qabool hai
Najanay kb aye ga wo din.




Sacche Friend ki 3 Nishaniyan:

1) Kamine Kabhi call nahi karenge.

2) Zalim has~has k GF K sms padhenge.

3) Chahe jitni beizzati karlo.
Besharam SMS pura padhenge. !

==============================

A good lecture should be like a Girl’s mini skirt…

Long enough to cover the subject &
short enough to create interest. 😀 😛

==============================

Pota: Dadaji ye condom kya hota hai?

Dadaji:Chal bhaag nalayak, mujhe nahi pata,

Pota:mai janta tha buddhe,

tujhe pata hota to aaj proparty k 15 hisse nai hote.

==============================

Log kapdo ke style par na jane kitne paise barbad karte hai?
Jab ki zindgi ke sab se hasin pal bina kapdo ke guzarte hai
.
.
.
Apna BACHPAN yaar.. Jab dekho galat sochoge!

==============================

Meri hasi ka hisab kon karega.
Meri Galti ko Maf kon karega…
E-khuda mere dosto ko slamt rkhna Wrna
New year party me”Lungi”Dance kon karega..

==============================

Teacher : “Lofer” Aur “Offer” Main Kya Farak Hai??
Student : Very Simple Mam, Agar Ladka “I LOVE YOU”
.
.
Bole To “Lofer” Aur Ladki Bole To Offer.

==============================

It’s Perfectly Legal To
Kill Someone In Your
Dreams,
That’s Why
I Wake Up With A Smile Everyday

Good Morning :-)

==============================
Classic Insult

Once a girl Uploaded a photo holding a dog
on Facebook..

Boy commented(with attitude) :”Which one is you?”

Girl replied: “The One holding you.. 😀 😀

==============================

WIFE: What would you do if i died? Would you get married again?

Husband: No…

Wife- Why not? Don’t you like being married?

Husband: Of course i do.

Wife: Then why wouldn’t you remarry?

Husband: Ok, ok, i’d get married again…

Wife: Would you live in our house with your new Wife…?

Husband: Yes, it’s a great house.

Wife: Would you let her drive my car ?

Husband: Yes, its almost new, dear .

Wife: Would you give her my jewelry?

Husband: No.. I am sure she would want her own..

Wife: Would she wear my shoes..?

Husband: No, her size is ’5′

Wife: –silence-

Husband: ‘shiiit’…!!!

==============================

Santa ki modern wife ne usse office jaate
waqt
pyaar se kaha:”see you in the evening” 😉
.
.
.
.
Santa:”Mein bhi tujhe dekh lunga
kameeni,
sham ko bol ya raat me dhamki apne baap ko
diyo…:O 😀 😀

==============================



An Aeroplane asks a Rocket
How is that you can fly so fast?
The Rocket replies you will know the pain
when they put fire at your back!

==============================

*JOKE OF THE DAY*
Larki: I love you.
Larka: Agar mein bhi I love you kahon tou kia karogi tum?
Larki: Main khushi kay mare mar hi jaungi.
Larka: Jaa BEHAN jee lay apni zindagi nahi kehta kuch:D;):p8-)

==============================
Hum Sath Marne Ka Soch Kar Dariya me Kood Gaye..
.
.
Uppar Pahuch K Farishte Ne bataya..
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Beta teri wali to swiming champion thi…:p :O 😀 😀

==============================

Ladka :Tum Mere Sapno Mein, Khwabo Mein, jazbatoo’n Mein Rehti Ho…
.
.
.
.
… .
.
Ladki: Bhai Tumko Kisi Ne Bewakoof Banaya Hai, Main to
LAHORE Mein Rehti Hoo..

==============================

Ek Ladki Ghar Se Bhaag Gayi,
2 Din Baad Wapis Aayi..!

Baap (Gusse Se): Ab Kya Lene Aayi Ho ??? .
Ladki: Mobile ka Charger.

==============================
Exam ki Rat ko Student ne Tos kia.

Heads aya to Sona hai.
Tails aaya to Film Dekhunga.
Kharra Raha to Gane Sonoga.

Or Agar Hawa mai raha to Qasam se Puri Raat Parhunga.

==============================
Professor: “Ek platform 2 km lambaa
hai….
Aandhi chal rahi hai….
60km/hr
ki
speed se..
.
Ek train aayi aur Karachi se Lahore ki taraf
Chali gayi…
.
To Sawal ye hai ki: “Meri Umar Kitni
hai.??
.
Sab Bachhe Hairaan ho ke ek Doosre
ki
Shakal dekhne Lage 0_0
.
Ek Student ne Jawab dene ke liye
haath Uthaaya \m/
.
.
Student: “Sir Aapki Umar 42 saal hai
.
Professor: “Very Gud Lekin tumne kaise
Calculate kiya ??
.
.
Student: “Sir Hamare Ghar ke paas ek
Aadmi Rehta hai wo AADHA Pagal hai
aur Uski Umar 21 Saal
hai xP

==============================
Mujhe Apni Zindagi Main Aur Kisi Cheez Ki
Tammana Nahi Hai…!!
.
.
.
“Ya RAB” .
.
.
.
.
. .
.
BussSs Meri Shadi PASANd Ki ho….!! .
.
(“,) Ameen Bol
<))> Tuje V…
_/\ Card Dunga…. sachi..

==============================

A Girl in a book shop:
Do you have the book.
Named ”Girls are very Intelligent”?
.
.
.
.
.
Salesman:
“The comedy section is on the Left side…

==============================

Hight of best Friendship
YAAR
.
.
.
… .
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Boy Ladki k saath date par tha or usk dost ne uske saamne aakar bola
” Kal wali Zyada achi thi yar “




Bus me Baba G ka paon larki k pao per aa gia,

Baba G;sorry!

Larki:(guse se)chal hat;

Phir 1 hand some larke ka pao larki k paon par aa gia

Larka;sorry!

Larki;(with smile)its ok No problem;-)

Baba G jal k bolay,,

oh kia mere sorry ka spelling galat ta kia;

==============================

Din Raat TV dekhne ki wajah se Exam me fail Hone par papa ne sirf itna kaha ki.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.”BIG BOSS chahte Hai ki Aap Ghar Se Nikal jaye”
hahahaha.

==============================
Dadi:
Tumhari teacher Aa rahi hain tum chup jao.
.
.
.
.
.

.
.
.

.
.
Pota:
pehle aap chup jayen q k
main apki wafaat ki waja se 3 din ki chutti pe hoon :p:D

==============================
Isko Dhyan Se Dekho..
” (‘.’)
<) . (>
_/”/_
… … ,
… ,
,
,
,
,
Fir Se Dekho
” (‘.’)
‘) . (‘
_/”/_
,
,
kuch Farq Dikha..?
,
,
,
,
HAATH kaat Diye Is Ke..!
LIKE Nahi karta tha..
,
,
(“Baki Samajhdaar ho, Ishara kafi hai”)

==============================

Glass tootey to kya awaz ati hai
….

thasssh!!!
.
… … ..
Nai yar
..

….
Ammi ki awaz ati hai

Tordo sab tordo kambakhton 1 bhi na chorna tumhare susral waley aenge
to PEPSI loty main piloungi.

==============================
When Your Parents Say
That
They Want To Ask You A
Serious Question. . .

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

You Immediately Start Thinking
Of All The Wrong Things That
You Have Ever Done In Your
Past..

==============================

Agar Aap kisi se pyar krte ho or kehne se drte ho to pio
“Mount & Dew”
Qki
“Dar k Aage jit hai”
Agar sarmate ho to pio
“Sprite”
Qki
“Sidhi baat no bakwas”
Aur agar aap kisi se pyar nhi krte to pio
“Pepsi”
Qki
“Ye dil mange more”
Msg padh kar gussa aye to pio
“Coca-cola”
Qki
“Thanda matlab coca-cola…!”

==============================
1 Admi Bacche se :itni chocolate khana thik nhi.
BACCHA-Mere dadaji 105 sal jiye
Admi-Vo chocolate khate the?
Baccha-Nhi apne kaam se kaam rakhte the….!!

==============================

Teacher: Konsa Prinda subse Tez udta hai?
Boy: Hathi
Teacher: Nalayak,tera baap kya karta hai?
Boy: Police main hai
Teacher: Shabbash! hathi sahi jawab hai.

==============================

What is care????
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
care is the name of h0ney Loti0n…
d0nt be Em0ti0nal…




December tum na jana,
Ager tum chalay gaye too…
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
School khul jaengy..

==============================

Science kehta hai k pani boil karne se germs mar jaate hain..!!

.
.
.

Par science ko ye nahi pata ke germs ki dead bodies to pani me hi reh jati hai..!!

.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

“kasam se bachpan se hi genious hun,

lekin kabhi ghamand nhi kiya..

==============================

Bacha: Mom, aaj mera dost ghar aa raha hai…
ghar ke sab khilone chhupa do

Mom: Tera dost chor hai kya?
.
… .
.
.
.. .
.
.
.
.
Bacha: Nahin, woh apne khilone pehchan lega.

==============================

1 student ne MBA ka form fill krtey huwe chokidaar se poocha. Janab kesi hai yeh university?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Chokidaar: bohat hi achi hai mein ne b yahin se MBA kiya tha.

==============================

ATTITUDE OF LIFE

Log mere bary mai keya sochy gy
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
agr ye b mai sochon to phir
log keya sochy gay ?

==============================

Pappu ne ladki ko apne andaaz me PROPOSE kiya..
Arz hai..
.
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
.
Kutta mar gya razai mein..
Main pagal hu teri judai mein..
….
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
………..
Hathi naali me beh nahi sakta..
Yeh pappu tere bin reh nahi sakta..!!

==============================

Roshni Chand Se Hoti Hai Sitaron Se Nahi !

.
.
.
.

Wardaat Berozgari Se Hoti Hai Double Sawari Se Nahi…!
<(‘,’)>
| |
‘jahil Government’

==============================

Classic Insult !!

Lecture Was Going On.. Suddenly A Boy Went Out Of The Class..

Lecturer : Ye Bahar Kyn Chala Gaya?

His Friend : Sir Usko Neend Mein Chalne Ki Aadat Hai =p

==============================

Change In Time…..
In The Good Old Days, Girls Used
To Cook Like Their Mothers,
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.Now They Drink Like Their Fathers.

==============================

“Satisfy the person Who Expect A Smile From You,
&
Surprise the person Who Never Expected Anything From You”…!!

==============================
==============================
Mom: Beta kio roo rahay ho?

Beta: Teacher nay maraa mujhe.

Mom: Kiun maraa?

Beta: Main ne unko MURGHI kaha tha.

Mom: Kiun kaha tha?

Beta: Wo hamesha test main anda deti hain.

==============================

Proff: Chemical symbol of Barium?
Student: BA
Proff: For sodium?
Student: NA
Proff: Wat will we get if 1 atom of BA & 2 atom of NA combines?
Student: “BANANA ”

==============================

World Population Rank:
1.China
2. India
3. FACEBOOK
4. USA
5. Twitter
6. Indonesia
7. Brazil
8. Myspace.

==============================

BUDDA Buddi me ho rhi thi kissng..

Budda Buddi me ho rhi thi kissng..

abi aap chote ho isliye

“some txt missing”.

==============================

Dimag KI Dahi Joke
Teacher: Tum bade hokar kya
karoge ?
Pappu : shaadi..!!!!!!
Teacher: nahi, mera matlab hai
kya banoge?…..
Pappu : dulha.!!!!!!!!! !!
Teacher: oh, i mean bade hokar
kya hasil karoge?
Pappu : dulhan
Teacher: IDIOT mera matlab bade
ho kar mummy papa k liye kya
karoge?
Pappu – bahu laaunga
Teacher: stupid tumhare papa
tumse kya chahte hai?
Pappu: pota
Teacher: he bhagwan, tumari
zindagi ka kya maksad hai?
Pappu: hum do humare do.. :p
Xp 😀
Pappu rocked ,Teacher shocked+

==============================

Doctr-Ab kya haal h?
Patient-Pehle se zyada khrab h.
Dct-Dawai khali thi kya?
Pt-Nhi dawai ki
sheeshi to bhari hui thi.
Dc-I mean dawai leli thi?
Pt-Apne di to maine leli.
Dc-Bevkuf dawai peeli thi?
Pt-Nhi,dawai to laal thi.
Dc-Gadhe, dawai ko pee
lia tha?
Pt-Nhi ji peelia to mujhe tha..

==============================

“Ufff Sardi”
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Jab Uper likha hy ke
Srdi Hai to Nechy Konsa
Heater Laga Hy jo Dekh Rhy Ho.
2014 ki pehil Bezti Mubark Ho…

==============================
Santa:”Kaam wali shanti ko bulao..
.
Wife:”Kyun ??
.
.
Santa:”Doctor ne kaha hai, raat mein dawa khane ke baad shanti ke saath so jaana..:p 😀 :O

==============================

Kid 1 :”Mere papa itne tall hain k jump maar ke Helicopter pakar lete hain..
.
.
.
.
.
.
Kid 2 :”Mere papa b tall hain,

Lekin woh CHAWALAIN nahi martay .. xD

==============================

Girl tO Me
.
Girl: TUum BOhat Besharam
hOo o_O
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Me: WOo tU Main Bachpaan sa
he hOon
Main TUu Paida b Nanga HOwa
thaaa .

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