New Funny SMS In Hindi Latest


  • Doctor: Aap Ghnta pehly aa jaty to hum isko bcha lety.

  • Sardaar: O saayin, 15 mint pehly ty eccident hoya e knjra.


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  • Teacher: do me se do nikly to kya bcha?

  • Pathan: Hum ko sawal smjh ni aya.

  • Teacher: tumhary pas do rotiyan thi

  • Tumny dono kha lin to tumhary pas kya bcha?

  • Pathan: Saalan.


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  • Lrrki: samny ye jo lrrka betha ha mujhy pareshan kr rha ha,

  • Waiter: lekin wo to apko dekh hi nhi rha,

  • Lrrki: yhi to preshani ha bewqoof.


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  • Santa: Station jaanay kay kitnay logay?
  • Rikshawala: 40
  • Santa: 10 lelo
  • Riksha: 10 main kon lay kay jaayeega?
  • Santa: tum pichay bheto hum leke jaye ga


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  • Boy 2 pretty girl – Recharge ke dukan kaha hy ?
  • Girl: pata nai yr me to ladko say karwa leti hoon


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  • What iz secret of the success?
  • “by Right Decisions”
  • How do u make right decisions?
  • “by Experience”
  • How do u get exprience
  • “by Wrong Decision”


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  • A boy told his very traditional parnts I wantd a tattoo.
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  • Got 1 d very next mint.
  • A red colored, chappal shaped tattoo, which lastd a whole
  • week


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  • Swt insult!!
  • Ek ladka gadhay kay samne gir gya.
  • Ek khubsoorat ladki ne dekha or kaha apnay bade bhai ka pair chhu rahe ho kaya?
  • Ladka : g bhabhiji.


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  • Ek Sardar road seY guzar raha tha ..
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  • achank usne jhuk kar road sey..
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  • kuchh 0thaya aur achank chillaya…
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  • Kamine log sandaas bhi aisey..
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  • karte hai jaise samosa pada ho…!!
  • 😛 😀 lolx hahahahhahahaha


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  • It takes 1000000 workers …
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  • to build a castle…
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  • Million soldiers to ..
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  • protect a country..
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  • But just one woman ..
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  • to make a Happy Home!
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  • Let’s Thank…KAMWALI MaSSi 😀
  • 😛 😀 lolx hahahahhahahaha




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  • God Ney pOOchha:
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  • “kidhar jaaney ka maangta???”
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  • Swarg ya narak???
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  • Apon bola narak. ..
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  • Maloom q???
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  • Tum saala dost log udharich milega…
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  • Bole to jidhar tum..
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  • woich apna swarg hoga…!! 😀 😀


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  • Pappu rings a call centre…

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  • My internet is not working properly..

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  • Officer:

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  • Ok

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  • Double click on “My computer”

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  • Pappu:

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  • I can’t see ur computer..

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  • Officer:

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  • No no..

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  • click on “My computer” on ur computer..

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  • Pappu:

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  • How can I click on ur computer from my..

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  • computer?>..

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  • Officer:

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  • listen..

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  • There is an icon labelled “My Computer” on ur..

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  • computer..

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  • Ok..

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  • double click on it..

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  • Pappu:

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  • what the hell, what is your computer doing on..

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  • my computer..???

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  • Officer:

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  • Double click on ur computer..

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  • Pappu:

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  • On which Icon i’ve to click..

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  • Officer:

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  • “My Computer”..

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  • Pappu:…

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  • Oh u Idiot……

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  • Tell me where is ur office…

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  • I’ll come there and ..

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  • click on ur “Computer.”?? 😛 😀 lolx hahahahahahha


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  • *Killing English*

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  • Pappu:- “Hey, Fruit walay Baba, give me some Potatoes fever. . .

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  • Fruit wala: Oo mere bhai ye ‘Potatoes Fever’ kya hota hai? . .

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  • Pappu:- Oo Maye Gaad, You Literacy People, Potatoes Fever means

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  • “Aaloo Bukhara!”


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  • That awkward moment …

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  • When u got a missed call From ..

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  • an unknown number And …

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  • when u call back U heard a ..

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  • voice of ur frnds:

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  • “Tharki saaley, ladki samaj k call back ..

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  • kar liya sudhar ja kamine ” 😛


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  • Great people talk ..
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  • about things…
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  • Small people talk ..
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  • about other people…
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  • And legends never talk:-
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  • they are dead 😛


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  • Jaa Rahay Hm Marnay Ajj Main Uddaas Hai
  • Yaaad Nai Kiya Usne Jiski Muje Aaas H
  • Mujaay Bhul Gaye Woh Joh Sabsay Khaas H
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  • Chaloo Abb Sms Kero Upaar Likhaa Saab Bakwaax Hay.


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  • Zindagi Nay Diye Hai Buhaat Dhokhay
  • Gaur Farmayiega
  • Zindaagi Ne Diyaa Hai Buhaat Dhokhay
  • Koi Baat Nahien
  • It’x Ok! It’x Ok.


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  • Love Shayari-

  • Likh Doh Paigaam Kuch Aixxa Kay
  • Kalam B Rone Par Majbur Ho Jaye
  • Wah Wah Wah Wah Wah
  • Har Lafz Me Dard Bharo Etna Kay
  • Examiner B 35 Mark’x Dene Pe Majboor Ho Jaaye.


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  • Loag Kehte Hai Piyaar Etna Bhi Mat Karo Ki
  • Girlfriend Sar Pe Sawaar Ho Jaye
  • Hum Kehte Hain Piyaar Itna Karo Ki
  • Girlfrnd Ki Frnd Bhe
  • HumhaRy Saath Faraar Ho Jaye.


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  • Koi Chiz Bewafaai Say Badkar Kya Hogi
  • Gaam-E-Imtihan Judaai Se Badkaar Kya Hogi
  • Kixiko Deni Ho Jawaani Mei Saza
  • Toh Padhai Se Badkaar Kiya Hugi.






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  • thddhnikhutehahajeyjabjfhgajdhfnahtthddhnpph Bbhmyrlvshshshlxgn.!!.
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  • Nathi Vachta Avadatuo
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  • Naak Kapaavyuu School Nuu
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  • R Gujraati Kaakkoo Chhe
  • Faaree Vachooo.


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  • Eik Cute
  • Slim Lady Nay
  • Koie Puchyuu –
  • Tamaari TaNduraxxti Nuu
  • Rahxyaa Shuu Chee?

  • Lady – Huu
  • “Bahu Chaaluu” Chhhu.


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  • Accident Dekhnay Par Xpression’x
  • U.S: Oh My God
  • Pak: Yeah Allah
  • Sa: O Laa Laa
  • Aus: Got A Hit
  • Gujarati-Halko Colour Karva Maa Ny Krvama Thokaigayoo.


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  • Bhayankar Joke-
  • Phone Ring’x Tring Tring Toh Gujarati’x Home
  • 1st:Hello,Hu Kaanti Bolu 6uu
  • 2nd:Su Vaat Karo choo
  • Hu To Modhi Thi Bolu cheu.


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  • Nokri Mate “Khouj” Keero
  • Jamva Mate “Luj” Karoo
  • Nahva Mate “Huj” Karoo
  • Balance Hoy Toh Sms Karo
  • Na Hoy Toh Mera Sms Vachi “Moj” Kero.


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  • Bapu:Jivla Padoxmma Koi Lammbi Baai Rahee 6e?
  • Jivlo: Ha Bapu, Ghaani Baadhee 6,Keem?
  • Bapu:Ennaa Kapraaa Leto Aav
  • Doctore Mane ThaNde Maa Lambbi Bai
  • Nah Kapda Pervana Kidha chr.

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  • Marriage” Pehalaa DaReek Purush Ni Praathnah

  • “Riddhi De Siddhi Dy
  • Ghar Walee ‘Sidhi’ Dy.

  • >Ane
  • Marriage Pachi:

  • “Riddhi De Siddhi De
  • Ghar Wali”BIJIii” De.


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  • Mast N Naughty Desi Pj :
  • Arz Hai
  • Student Ki Bhe Kiyaa Life H0ti Hai.
  • Wah Wah
  • Student Ki Bhi Kyaa Life H0ti Hai
  • Na Husbnd H0ta Hai
  • Na Wife H0ti Hai.


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  • Thndi Hai Chai Garam Kar L00
  • Is Pathar Dil K0h Th0ra Naaram Kar L0h
  • Aapke H0tey Hue Meraa Inb0x Khali Hai
  • Jyada Nhi T0h Th0ri C Sharam Kar L0h.


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  • Pj J0kes In Hindi
  • Latest New Pj J0kes
  • In Hindi Pj J0kes
  • In Hindi C0llecti0n
  • Including Girlfriend, Frnd
  • Student Life, L0ve
  • Shayari, Funny
  • Pj Shayari, Mast Desi Naughty Pj.



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  • Yeah Terey Behekty Qadam
  • Yeah Terey Kaanpty H00nt
  • Yeah Terey Bikhray Baal
  • Yeah Teray Jalta Badan
  • Yeah Teri Nasheelii Aankhein
  • Mujhy Pehle He
  • Shaak Thaa K Tu “Nasedi” Hai.


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  • Less0n 1: Ki Ku Ki Ki K0 Ki Ku
  • Less0n 2: 0 Ki K0 Ka Ki Ka 0 Ki Ka
  • Less0n 3: Ki Ka Ku Ku Ka K0 Ki Ka Ku
  • C0ngratulati0n’s!
  • U Hve Successfully C0mpleted
  • M0nkey’s Language
  • C0urse
  • N0w U R A Smart M0nkey
  • ( @.@ )
  • ‘ ‘(—)’
  • Plz C0llect Ur Certificate
  • &
  • U R Welc0me T0 The Z00.


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  • Give The Answer 0f Questi0n
  • Reply Is Must
  • Pagal Tanhae May Kya Mehs0s Krta Hay
  • K0e Jaldi Nahi Jab Mehs0s Kr0 T0 Bata Dayne.


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  • Hm Bh0l Jane Wale D0st K0h
  • Bahut Buri Saza Dete Hain
  • Hm Bh0l Jane Wale D0st0 K0h
  • B0hat Buri Saza Dete Hain
  • Jute Nai Marte Bs
  • Unhe M0je Sungha Dete Hay.


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  • DiL Ke Armaan Aansu0 Me BAh Gaye
  • Hum Gali Me The Gali Me Reh Gaye
  • Light Chali Gayi J0 Baat Unse Kehni Thi
  • Unki Mummy Se Keh Gaye.


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  • Teacher : “Lofer” Aur “Offer” Main Kya Farak Hai??
  • Student : Very Simple Mam, Agar Ladka “I LOVE YOU”
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  • Bole To “Lofer” Aur Ladki Bole To Offer.


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  • Why Hindu Law does not permit Second Marriage…
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  • … Answer:
  • Indian Constitution-Article 20(2)-says,
  • “No man can be punished twice for same offence.


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  • Doctr-Ab kya haal h?
  • Patient-Pehle se zyada khrab h.
  • Dct-Dawai khali thi kya?
  • Pt-Nhi dawai ki
  • sheeshi to bhari hui thi.
  • Dc-I mean dawai leli thi?
  • Pt-Apne di to maine leli.
  • Dc-Bevkuf dawai peeli thi?
  • Pt-Nhi,dawai to laal thi.
  • Dc-Gadhe, dawai ko pee
  • lia tha?
  • Pt-Nhi ji peelia to mujhe tha..


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  • Shadi shuda couples sirf ek hi hal mein khush rehtay hain
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  • Shadi hall mein.


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  • Pehle zamane Ki Ladkiya,
  • Puja Karke Soti Thi
  • Taaki Unhe Darr Na Lage..
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  • 21st Century Ki Ladkiya
  • Raat Ko Bhi Makeup Karke Soti He,
  • Taaki Doosro Ko Darr Na Lage.



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  • Patni adhi rat ko romantic mood me, Kapde utar
  • kar
  • tirchi nigaho se Pati ki taraf dekh ke boli :
  • “Darling pata hai na kya karna hai ?”
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  • Pati : aisi ki taisi, mai adhi rat ko kapde ni dhone
  • wala.


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  • Kali gf ko gori karne k 5 tarike
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  • muje pata tha tum jarur padhoge kali gf wale.

  • CLICK TO SEND THIS SMS TO ANYONE
  • NOVEMBER 18, 2013ADMINISTRATOR
  • Japan main 2 dost they

  • Japan main 2 dost they

  • 1 ka naam tha “jo” aur dusrey ka naam
  • tha “wo”

  • Ek din “jo” ke pas Jinn aa gaya
  • “jo” ne dar kar “wo” ko awaz di
  • “wo” bhag kar aya to Jinn ko dekh kar
  • “wo” marr gaya
  • .
  • bus usi din se hi kehte hain
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  • “JO” DAR GAYA, “WO” MAR GAYA.


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  • MAMU : Oye, maar gayay yaar.
  • Meri biwi aur premika saath saath AA rehli hain.

  • MAMU KA DOST : Arrey, mein bhi yehi bolnewala tha.


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  • Urdu ke liye 1 dabayye, English ke liye 2 dabayye.
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  • Saala ye to Hindi bolne wale ke sath nainsafi hai.


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  • Me: Xcuse Me
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  • Girl: Jee Kahiye
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  • Me: Mere Hone Wale Bacho Ki Taraf
  • Se
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  • Apko Happy Mother’s DAY.


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  • Daru k baad
  • .
  • INDIA is a place where.. Anyone driving faster than
  • you is..

  • “Saala yeh Pakka marega”

  • Anyone driving slower than you is ”

  • Saala kutta, Gaadi Chalani ni aati ise” !!

  • And Anyone Driving Parallel to you is

  • “Apne Baap se Race Lagayega Tu..”
  • .
  • .
  • hahahahha for all sharabissss


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  • 3 most innocent faces of the world
  • A sleeping baby
  • Udhaar mange wala admi..
  • aNd .
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  • Parents k samne betha humara dost.


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  • Suna Hai Aapki Muskurahat Pe
  • Har Kio Marta Hai.
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  • Zara Time Nikaal Kar Aana To.
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  • Ek Chooha Maarna Hai.


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  • One line Advertizement by a married
  • man at olx
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  • For Sale:

  • Wedding suit,used only once by Mistake



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  • Jab tak zinda hain msg krty rahenGe,

  • Or jis din na karen to samaj lena k,
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  • Aglay din karenGe,
  • .
  • Maar dO
  • Maar dO zalimO,
  • Haly tay wia v ni h0ya.


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  • Sundar Baught A New Mobile,
  • Sundar Oyee yeh sent message kya hota hai,
  • Mohan Jis message mein khushboo ho usse sent message kehte hai.


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  • Ek aadmi apni biwi ka antim sanskar karke ghar ja raha tha. Achanak bijli chamki, badal garje, jor se barish start ho gayi,
  • Dukhi aadmi: Lagta hai pahunch gayi.


  • ===============================
  • Munna bhai : Chand toh raat ko nikalta hai, aaj din mein kaise nikal aaya?
  • Girl : Ullu toh raat ko bolta hai, aaj din mein kaise bol pada.


  • ===============================
  • Ped ke niche chav hai,
  • Khandala mera gaon hai,
  • Wade main jasie pav ha,
  • Nadi main terti naav hai,
  • Anarkali naam ki apun ki ek dav hai.


  • ===============================

  • Woh sadak ke is paar thi, hum sadak kee us par the,
  • Kuch hum aage badhe, kuch woh aage badhi,
  • Hum kuch aur aage badhe, woh bhi kuch aur aage badhi,
  • Ab hum sadak ke wus par the, aur woh sadak ke is par thi.


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  • Teacher: Give english translation of, Bazar mein goliyan chal rahi hai.
  • Santa replies: The tablets are walking in the market.


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  • Ladkiyo ki ada hame pasand nahi,
  • Ladkiyo se bate hame pasand nahi,
  • Yeh to aane vale bancho ki jid he mumy chahiye,
  • Varna shadi karna hame pasand nahi.


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  • Teacher: Johny, If Your Father Earned $100,000,000
  • And Gave Half Of It To Your Mother,
  • What Would She Have?
  • Little Johny: A Heart attack.


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  • First prisoner : What were you convicted for?
  • Second prisoner : Nothing.
  • First prisoner : Honestly for nothing. I stole a wallet, but there was nothing in it.




  • ===============================




  • Santa train ki patri par so gaya,
  • Banta: Train aayegi toh mar jayega,
  • Santa: Plane upar se gaya kuch nahi hua to train kya cheez hai.


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  • On Jeeto’s bday Santa had no money, so he sent a cheque of 100 kisses.
  • When he returns home Jeeto said: Thanks I got cheque cashed from bank, manager.


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  • Jitne channel TV ke,
  • Utne nakhre biwi ke,
  • TV chalta remote se,
  • Biwi chalti hai note se.


  • ===============================

  • Husband: Shall we try a different position tonight
  • Wife: That’s a good idea
  • You stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and start watching TV.


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  • Mental hospital ka doctor apni wife ko kehta hai: Pagalon ke saath reh reh kar, mein aadha pagal toh ho hi gaya hoon.
  • Wife: Kabhi koi kaam poora bhi kar liya karo.


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  • Bania’s Son: Papaji bahar Swimming pool ke liye chanda mang rahe hai.
  • Kanjoos Bania: Koi baat nahi Beta, Ek lota pani de de.


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  • Santa Kumar ko apna apna gadha bechna tha,
  • Usne apne sare friends ko sms kiya.Agar tumhe kabi kisi gadhey ki zaroorat ho to, mujhe yaad kar lena.


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  • Husband: When I’m gone you’ll never find another man like me.
  • Wife replied: What makes you think I’d want another man like you


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  • What did the kangaroo say when she found her baby missing?
  • Ans: Aaila! Kisne mera pocket maar liya.


  • ===============================
  • GIRLFRIEND is like PANIPURI always tasty,
  • LOVER is like PIZZA hot n spicy,
  • WIFE is like VARAN BHAAT no other option but good for Health.



  • ===============================


  • Namo-namo patni maharani, tumhri mahima koi na jani,
  • Hamne samjha tum abala ho, par tum toh sabse badi bala ho,
  • Jis din haath mein belan aawe, uss din patni khoob chillave,
  • Sare bed pe patni sove, pati baith farsh par rove,
  • Tumse hi ghar mathura kashi, aur tumshe ghar satyanashi,
  • Patni chalisha jo nar gave, sab such chhod param dukh paave.


  • ===============================

  • Laloo  Rabri tum meri CHAND ho,
  • Rabri  Na ji hamko CHAND-VAND mat kahiye,
  • Yeh sasura America wale roz chand par chadhte hai.


  • ===============================

  • Ek American nai ek Swami se bola,
  • Hamare yaha shaadi e-mail se bhi hoti hai.
  • Is par Swami bola kamal hai,
  • Hamare yaha to sirf female se hoti hai.


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  • Gabbar: Aare o sambha yeh sms padhnewala insaan hai ki bandar?
  • Samba: Sarkar agar reply kare toh insaan nahi toh bandar.


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  • Q Why doesn’t law permit a man to marry a second woman?
  • A Because as per law you cannot be punished twice for the same offense.


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  • Eik sardar bathroom main betha tha,
  • Samnay likha tha k pani ka zyada say zayda,
  • istimaal karain wo bethay bethay 3,
  • lotay pani pee gya.


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  • Neend aati hai to khaab aata hai,
  • khaab mein ek ladki aati hai,
  • ladki ke piche uska baap aata hai,
  • phir na neend aati hai na khaab aata hai.


  • ===============================

  • Kuch saalo baad najane kya sama hoga,
  • Najane kaun dost kaha hoga,
  • Phir milna hua toh milenge yaadon mein,
  • Jaise sukhe gulab milte hai kitabon mein.


  • ===============================

  • Kitabon Me Likha Hai Phool Todna Mana Hai,
  • Baagon Me Likha Hai Phool Todna Mana Hai,
  • Lekin Phoolon Se Keemti Hai Dil,
  • Koi Nahi Kehta Ki Dil Todna Mana Hai.

  • ===============================

  • Phone Ke Rishte Bhi Bade Ajeeb Hote Hain,
  • Balance Rakhkar Bhi Log Ajeeb Hote Hain,
  • Khud To Msg Karte Nahi Hain,
  • Muft Ke Msg Padhne Ke Kitne Shoqin Hoti Hai.



  • ===============================


  • Beta papa meri teacher kitni pyari hai,
  • na Baap beta teacher MAA KE BARABAR HOTI HAI,
  • Beta ap to hamesha apni he setting mein lage rehte ho.


  • ===============================
  • Narak me bahut sare log Maza kar,
  • rahe the GOD Ye log naark me bhi aish,
  • kar rahe hain Yamraj ye wale hain,
  • Nalayak Kahin bhi Set ho jaate h.


  • ===============================

  • Mallika Sherawat goes to the L.I.C officer to insure her body,
  • the L.I.C officer refused,
  • sorry madam we dont cover public property.


  • ===============================

  • Ek pagal or aadmi  funny jokes,
  • Ek pagal ulta nanga soya tha,
  • ek admi ne uske piche tabla bajaya,
  • ulta soya huya pagal sidha huya aur bola,
  • le ab bansuri baaja.


  • ===============================

  • Ek aurat coma main chali gai,
  • .
  • Pati murda samjh kr jalane chala,
  • .
  • .
  • Raste main arthi khambe se takrane se aurat ko hosh aa gaya,
  • .
  • 1 saal bad aurat sach main mar,
  • gai,
  • .
  • .
  • Sab log RAM RAM SATYA hai bolte ja rahe the,
  • .
  • .
  • Lekin,
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • Pati ki zuban pe ek hi baat thi “KHAMBA BACHA ke.


  • ===============================
  • A Girl Checks Her Weight  58kg,
  • Removes Sandal  56,
  • Then Dupatta  52,
  • Now Coins Finished,
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • A Boy In A Q Behind Her,
  • Said,
  • U Carry On,
  • I Have Coins.


  • ===============================

  • Romance Mathematics,
  • Smart Man + Smart Woman = Romance,
  • Smart Man + Dumb Woman = Affair,
  • Dumb Man + Smart Woman = Marriage,
  • Dumb Man + Dumb Woman = Pregnancy.


  • ===============================

  • If u r stressed, you’ll get pimples,
  • if u cry,u’ll get wrinkles,
  • So, y don’t u smile & get dimples.


  • ===============================
  • Duniya me 5 muskil kaam,
  • 1.Hathi ko dhaka lagana,
  • 2.Machar ki malish krna,
  • 3.Chitti ko kiss krna,
  • 4.Ziraf ki gardn dabana,
  • 5.or ap logo se SMS ki umeed krna.


  • ===============================

  • Boy: tu dharti pe chahe jaha v rahegi tujhe tere khusbu se pehchan lunga.

  • Girl: kasam se mere ko pehle se hi malum tha sala tu 1 no ka “Kutta” hai.





  • ===============================



  • zindagi me hamesa 1 bat yad rakho,
  • kvi kisi k dil se mat khelo kyuki DIL 1 hi hota hai,
  • agar khelna hai to Kidney se khelo wo 2 hoti hai.


  • ===============================

  • Saanp k mdari ko lose-motion lag gaye,
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • Doctor sy dawai lety howay bola:
  • Doctor Shahab parhyz ki karna ay?
  • .
  • .
  • Doctor:
  • bas Been zoor di na wajain.


  • ===============================

  • Apka Mobile kis k pas tha?
  • Main ne subah Call ki to kisi larrki ne receive kya,
  • Main kuch bolne hi wala tha magar,
  • uski awaz sun kar main chup hi raha,
  • Aur woh barre Pyar se boli,
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • Is Call k leay ap k account ki raqam naa kafi hy.


  • ===============================

  • Science Teacher: Bachcho zinda rahne ke liye kya zaruri hai?
  • Student: itna bhi nahi pata mam?
  • Zinda rehne ke liye teri qasam.
  • ek mulaqat zaruri hai sanam.


  • ===============================

  • True feelings of boys:

  • Jab ek ladki tumhe apna best friend banakar.
  • .
  • .
  • Aapke kandhe par sir rakh kar roti
  • hai na.
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • Toh ghanta samajh nahi aata ke kya sahi hai aur kya galat.


  • ===============================

  • Bhakt: Baba I have a child yearly.

  • Nirmal baba: Condom lagate ho?

  • Bhakt: Ji.

  • Nirmal baba:Mohalle me bhi baant,
  • do kripa wahi se aa rahi hai.


  • ===============================
  • After breakup:
  • .
  • .
  • Girl:”Kamine maine jo wallet, watch, de ­ o,tshrt,
  • jeans, belts, shoes diye the sab wapas kar,
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • Boy:”Tu petrol wapis kar,
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • Girl:”kya me apne janu se mazak bhi nahi kar shakti.


  • ===============================

  • 5’6jiski height ho,
  • .
  • .
  • jeans jiski tight ho,
  • .
  • .
  • chehra jiska bright ho,
  • .
  • .
  • weight mein thodi light ho,
  • .
  • .
  • Umar mein difference slight ho,
  • .
  • .
  • thodi quiet ho,
  • sadak pe sab kahe kya cute ho,

  • bhid mein sab kahe side ho,

  • sas ki seva jiski khwahish ho,

  • padosi baat kare to haath mein knife ho,

  • dinner candle light ho,

  • he prabhu teri bhakti uski lifeho,

  • yeh poem padke sab kahe,

  • THARKI GURU TUM HI RIGHT HO.


  • ===============================

  • K0i Larki Hmain Thukra Dy To Ghum Nhi,
  • .
  • .
  • Wah Wah,
  • .
  • Koi Larki Hmain Thukra Dy To Ghum Nhi,
  • .
  • .
  • D0ob Maray Wo Kamini Jiski Kismat Me Hum Nahi,

  • Wah Wah Wah Taaliaaaan.


  • ===============================

  • Count The Girls Names In This Allama Iqbal’s Poem,

  • Wohi Guftugu Ka Andaz,
  • Wohi Shaista Lehja,
  • Neelam Jam Hy Feroza Deedar Lehja,

  • Zban Main Tarannum E Nighat Ghazali,
  • Naghma Dil Awaz Seema Lehja,

  • Shireen Kalaam Py Shama Mahjabeen,
  • Tabassum Sy Roshan Aara Jamal Lehja,

  • Naseem Chali To Phail Gye Khushbu Char Soo,
  • Our Gul E Rukh Sy Nuzhat Mahak Lehja,

  • Pyar Ki Tehreem Ko Saher Tk Andaz Likha,
  • Or Farheen K Chaman Sa Ujala Lehja,

  • Moral,
  • Allama Iqbal B Km Nhi Thy.




  • A BOY Was Sitting In A Park, Behind A Tree With His Girl Friend,

  • An Old Man:
  • Beta! Kia Ye Hamari Tehzeeb Hai?

  • Boy:
  • Nahi Uncle, Ye Defence Wali Nosheen Hai.


  • ===============================

  • If i need Brain Transplantation I will prefer your brain,
  • don’t think that you are a genius,
  • i need a brain which is never used before.


  • ===============================

  • Father: How did you fail the final exam?
  • Son: Under water,
  • Aather: What do you mean?
  • Son :All below ‘C’ level.

  • ===============================

  • Banta owned a factory,
  • He issued orders that only married,
  • men would be employed,
  • Friend asks: Why this ?

  • Bant reply:
  • Because married men are more obedient.


  • ===============================
  • Dream makes everything possible,
  • Hope makes everything work,
  • Luv makes everything beautiful,
  • Smile makes all the above,
  • So always Brush ur Teeth.


  • ===============================

  • By expecting a negative answer,

  • Girlfriend ask Have u ever cheated, lie, broken promise?

  • To satisfy his girl,

  • the boy reply a negative answer,

  • Nothing of these.


  • ===============================

  • Aik pathan ne Veena Malik se, masjid ka chanda manga,

  • Veena : ap log to kehte hen k mera paisa naapak hai,

  • Pathan : tumhary paison se hum BATHROOM banaey gy.


  • ===============================
  • Whenever u feel sadness in your HEART,
  • blackness in your EYES,
  • paleness on your FACE,
  • fragrance in your it shows u, are suffering lack of vitamin ME.


  • ===============================
  • DEFINITION OF HONEYMOON,

  • A man’s last holiday,

  • before he starts working,

  • for a new boss.


  • ===============================

  • I Went For A Psychologist And,
  • He Said That I Was Crazy,
  • I Asked For A Second Opinion And He Answered,
  • Well, You’re Ugly Too.



  • ===============================



  • If You Take The Hand Of A Woman,
  • Before Wedding It Is Called Love,
  • After Marriage It Is Called Self-Defense.


  • ===============================

  • College ki galyon main ajeeb khel hota hay,
  • Class k bahanay dilon ka mail hota hay,
  • Notes ke jagah love sale hota hay,
  • Iss liye to PAPPU her sall fail hota hay.


  • ===============================
  • Silent lips may avoid many problems,
  • But smiling lips will solve many problems,
  • :
  • :
  • so
  • :
  • :
  • :
  • :
  • :

  • Har velay sarya na karo,
  • Kadi kadi has v lya karo.


  • ===============================

  • Mayawati came 2 lalu’s house with an elephant,
  • Lalu- bhaiswa ke sath aaye ho,
  • Mayawati- dikhta nahi elephantwa hai,
  • Lalu- dhutt pagli hum elephantwa se puch raha hun.


  • ===============================

  • Ek Budiya Cinema Hall Me, Coldrink Ki Botle
  • Leke Bethi Thi,

  • Kabhi 15 Min Me Muh Ko Lagati To Kabhi 20
  • Min Me,

  • Pas Bethe Santa Ko Gussa Aa,
  • Gaya, Usne Budhiya Se Botal Chini,
  • Aur Puri 1 Ghut Me Pikar Bola,
  • Aise Peete Hai,

  • Budiya Boli- Par Beta Mai To,
  • Pan Thook Rahi Thi.


  • ===============================

  • Lady:Im Sexually Harassed at Office,
  • Friend: wat hapnd?

  • lady :A Man keeps saying ur Hair smells nice.
  • Friend:so wats wrong in that?

  • Lady:He’s only 3 feet tall.


  • ===============================

  • A boys calls her ex,

  • Boy : hey i jus saw a muvie, it
  • reminded me of u miss u,

  • Gal : awwwww even i miss,
  • u kaunsi muvie dekhi?

  • Boy : ek thi daayan :p


  • ===============================

  • Postal department has,
  • issued Sunny Leone stamps,
  • Men are confused which side,
  • to lick and which side to stick.


  • ===============================

  • LOCAL BODY TAX is not appicable on my trade,
  • as of my body is imported,

  • Regards:-
  • Your’s
  • SUNNY LEONE.


  • ===============================

  • Santa running behind bus,
  • and finaly catches it
  • n asked driver,
  • ye bus teri ma lagti hai ?Nahi.
  • Behan lagti? Nahi,
  • biwi ? nahi.

  • To sala chadne kyu nahi deta.





  • A Boy Doing Push Ups

  • One Two Three,
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • .

  • .
  • Suddenly A Girl Passes

  • Boy – 82 83 84.


  • ===============================
  • Dil pagal hai pyar me tere paro,
  • Dil pagal hai, pyar me tere paro,
  • ACP bola  Fredricks ghar ka kona kona chan maro.


  • ===============================

  • Santa- ye bata ki duniya me kitne desh hai?
  • Banta- kar di na paglon wali bat,
  • duniya me 1 hi desh hai INDIA,
  • baki sab to videsh hai.


  • ===============================
  • Twinkle twinkle little star,

  • Teri girlfrnd gaii bazaar,

  • Us ko mil gaya naya pyar,

  • Aur ab tu beth k makhiyaa maar.


  • ===============================

  • Plane catches fire & there are 2 parachutes,
  • Santa & Banta take 1 each,

  • Santa: What about the air-hostess?

  • Banta: Fuck her,

  • Santa: (after a pause)
  • Sach bol itna time hai kya?


  • ===============================

  • Pappu ne FM Radio pe phone kiya aur kaha :
  • .
  • .
  • Mujhe Lawrence Road pe ek Purse mila hai,
  • jisme 15000 cash, ek Credit Card aur,
  • Rahman Malik ke naam ka ID mila hai,
  • .
  • .
  • RJ : Wah… Aap kitne imaandaar hain,
  • Kya aap unhe wo purse waapis karna chahenge???
  • .
  • .
  • Pappu : Nahi  Main chahta hun ki Rahman,
  • Malik ke liye ek SAD SONG bajaya jaaye.


  • ===============================

  • Ek pagal khat likh raha tha,
  • Dr. ne poucha kis ko likh rahe ho,
  • Pagal: khud ko,
  • Dr: kya likha hai,
  • Pagal: mujhe kya pata,
  • Abhi mujhe mila thodi hai.


  • ===============================

  • All Love Stories End in a tragedy,

  • It is either a break-up or a marriage.


  • ===============================

  • Lady – shoes dikhaiye,

  • Shopkeeper : kitne number ka ?

  • Lady – 36 no,

  • Shopkeeper : jaao madam, ghar se soch
  • kar nikla karo ki lena kya hai.


  • ===============================

  • Positive advice :
  • Keep your head held up high,
  • And your middle finger even higher.





  • Inspired by Ang Lee’s  Life of Pi,

  • Shiney Ahuja is making a film,  Life of Bai.


  • ===============================

  • Santa the film producer planned a,
  • remake of the classic english film The Good,
  • The Bad and The Ugly in Hindi,
  • Santa named it:

  • Main, Meri Biwi aur Uski Maa


  • ===============================

  • During MBBS final exam:
  • Examiner asked me which contraceptive,
  • method hv 100% success rate?

  • I answered :

  • HANDS,

  • He slaped me infront of 20 girls,
  • but gave me heighest marks.


  • ===============================

  • Santa was caught by police,

  • Police: How did you kill 20 people?

  • Santa: Main gaadi tez chala raha tha,
  • par jab maine brake lagaya, toh pata
  • laga ki brake fail ho gaya hain,
  • Phir main ne samne dekha toh ek taraf,
  • 2 aadmi ja rahe the aur dusri taraf,
  • 1 barat ja rahi thi, Ab tum batao main gaadi kidhar modta?

  • Police: Of course, jis taraf 2 admi the.
  • Nuksaan kam hota.

  • Santa: Exactly. Maine bhi yahi socha
  • tha par woh 2 aadmi meri gaadi
  • dekh kar barat me ghus gaye


  • ===============================

  • BOY : I want us to be in a relationship,
  • GIRL : Its okay but under one condition,
  • BOY : Which one ?
  • GIRL : No sex, bcoz am preserving it for my future husband,
  • BOY : Thats okay, I also have my condition,
  • GIRL : Which one ?
  • BOY : No using of my money coz am preserving it for my future wife,
  • GIRL : Lo tum tho serious ho gaye.. Arre I ws kidin jaanu Boy:Can i Kiss u?
  • Girl:Condom laye ho?
  • Boy:kiss k liye condom??

  • Girl : sharif to aise ban rahe ho
  • jese kissing k bad sex nahi karega.


  • ===============================
  • A towel can make ur career – Ranbeer kapoor,

  • a towel can destroy you career – shreeshant,

  • u can make career without a towel – sunny leone.


  • ===============================
  • CID ne Sony se naata jod liya,

  • CID ne Sony se naata jod liya,

  • jis room me mana raha tha abhijeet suhagraat,
  • Daya ne uska darwaja bhi tod diya.


  • ===============================

  • The correct answer to How are you?  is,

  • Do you really want to know?


  • ===============================

  • A Superb line Written
  • on a Hospital Board:

  • If you still want to See “Hot Girls” even after your Death,

  • DONATE YOUR EYES.

  • ===============================

  • Teacher-
  • Batao dunia ki sabse bevkuf prajati kaunsi hai?

  • Santa ka baccha khada hokar bola,
  • hath pair tod dunga agar, kissi ne Santa ka Beta kaha to.





  • Latest IPL Adv:

  • Please enjoy the matches,
  • Fixed toh aapki Shadi bhi thi.

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