New funny sms jokes


  • PRINICIPAL: Apne Bachhe Ko zara Tameez Sikhao aap,

  • PARENT: Kya Hua Sir?

  • PRINICIPAL: Application Form Ke SEX Wale Column Me Likha Hai, Kabhi Moka Hi Nahi Mila.


  • ========================

  • Girl Announced Her Engagement To Her Father.
  • Father : Does This Fellow Has Any Money?
  • Girl : U Men R All Alike, That’s
  • Exactly
  • What He Asked Me About U.


  • ========================
  • Pal Beet jayenga aur waqt Guzar jayega,
  • Bas Yaadon Bhara ye safar reh jayega,
  • Na Hum Honge na humari wo baate,
  • Phir bhi aapko tang karne humara Msg zarur Aayega.


  • ========================

  • Love No Warranty No Guarantee,
  • Where Was LOVE Born?
  • Guessssssss
  • In CHINA !
  • Bcoz anything MADE IN CHINA, has No Warranty, No Guarantee.


  • ========================

  • Dil me ek shor ho rha hai, bin msg ke dil bor ho rha hai ,
  • kahi aisa to nahi ek pyara sa dost ab tak,
  • ghar k bartan dho rha hai.


  • ========================

  • Newly wed Bahu-Maaji,
  • kal raat
  • meri unse ladaai ho gayi,
  • Saas-Koi baat nahi,
  • Ye to pati patni ke beech hota hi hai,
  • Bahu-Wo to thik hai par ab laash Ka kya Karu?


  • ========================

  • Pyara sa koi Sandesh bhej do,
  • Dosti ka sachcha UPDESH bhej do,
  • Agar DOSTO ko 1 SmS na bhej sako,
  • To subah uthkar kisi ko apna Mobile BECH do.


  • ========================

  • Mohabbat Ho Jaye, Ya,
  • Machchar Kate,
  • Anjam 1 Hi Hai,
  • Kya?
  • Raat Ko Neend Nahi Aati.


  • ========================

  • Sardar Ne Amrud Liye to Usme Kida Nikla,
  • Sardar:Isme to Kida Nikla h,
  • Amrudwala: Ye Kismat ki Baat h, Kya Pta Agli Bar Motorcycle Nikal Jae,
  • Sardar:2 kilo or de dO.


  • ========================

  • 1 Pagal Khane Me sabhi Pagal Nach Rahe The,
  • 1 Pagal Khamosh Betha Tha,
  • Dr. Ne Pucha- Tum Khamosh Q Bethy Ho,
  • Pagal Ne Kaha- Bewkuf, Mai Dulha Hu.




  • ========================
  • Mila k Hath Dosti Ka Wapas Liya Nahi Jata,
  • Is Nazuk Riste Ko Zakhm Diya Nahi Jata,

  • Sachmuch Bahut Zaalim H Ye Duniya,
  • Sasta H Sms Fir B Logo Se Kiya Nahi Jata.

  • ========================

  • Kal karey so aaj kar, aaj kare so ab,
  • wah wah
  • Kal kare so aaj kar, aaj kar so ab
  • wah wah ,
  • Abey karta hi rahega to dhoyega kab.


  • ========================

  • Wife: Kya kar rahe ho?
  • Man: Makahiya maar raha hu,
  • Wife: Kitni mari?
  • Man: 3 male aur 2 female,
  • Wife: Kaise malum?

  • Man: Kyonki
  • 3 daru ki botal se chipki thi or 2 phone se.


  • ========================
  • Tum hanste raho,
  • nachte raho,
  • muskurate raho,
  • sada khil khilata raho,
  • khush raho aur gungunate raho,

  • mera kya hai, log tumhe hi pagal samjhege.


  • ========================

  • Your account has been recharged successfully with Rs 85.91,
  • Your new balance is now Rs 129.74,
  • Aha
  • Chehra tu dekho jaisay, langur k hath angur lag gaya ho.


  • ========================

  • Kaash aik din aap Asman per so jayein,
  • Sitare aap ka bichona ho,
  • Chand aap ka takya ho,
  • Raat aap ko chadar ho,
  • Aur

  • Subah suraj aik laat maare aur kahe,
  • Uth ja o nalayak apne ghar ja.


  • ========================
  • If you want to check your brain,
  • Stand in front of cow,
  • Agar aap ke pass aye to samajh lena ke bhoosa hai,
  • Aur agar chali jaye to samajh lena khali hai.

  • ========================

  • You can never ask a girl her age, There is no such concept,
  • They don’t have age, but age groups which are follows:
  • Baby, Babes, Bebe and Biji.


  • ========================

  • Teacher: Wht do u want to be when you grow up?
  • Pappu: I want to follow in my father’s footsteps and be a policeman.
  • Teacher: I didn’t know your father was a policeman.
  • Pappu: He isn’t. He’s a burglar.


  • ========================

  • V Need A Way Of Telling,
  • People They Have Bad,
  • Breath Without Hurting,
  • Their Feelings
  • Like
  • Well I M Bored,
  • Let’s Go Brush 0ur Teeth.


  • ========================


  • If You Look At The Sky Tonight,
  • And Notice That The Brightest Star Is Missing,
  • I Swear I Have No Clue,
  • How The Hell I Fell From Sky But I’m OK.

  • ========================

  • After 0ur Last Argument,
  • I Told My Girlfriend,
  • I Hope Your Next Boyfriend,
  • Appreciates The Improvements
  • I’ve Made In You.


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  • Laughter is d Best medicine,
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • But if u r laughing without any reason, U need Medicine.


  • ========================

  • Full Dose of Laughter Nonstop,

  • I bought a new printer because,
  • it was cheaper than ink refills,
  • Now I’m wondering how long before,
  • new cars are cheaper than fuel.


  • ========================

  • Human-beings get rich as they grow old:
  • Silver in Hair,
  • Gold in Teeth,
  • Sugar in Blood,
  • Precious Stones in Kidney,
  • And a never ending supply of Gas.


  • ========================

  • Male or Female,
  • R u male or Female,
  • Answer k lea niche dekhein,
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • oh no dear, Yaha nae apne niche.

  • ========================

  • Sania Mirza Marry with Shoaib to Kiya hua Fraz,

  • Hum bhi Tennis Khail k Koi Crickter Phansa lain ge.


  • ========================

  • NURSE kept SARDAR’S FINGER, in HER MOUTH
  • after BLOOD TEST,

  • THEN SARDAR STARTED DANCING,
  • NURSE:y r u DANCING,

  • SARDAR:next is URINE TEST


  • ========================

  • Jab hota hai tera didar,
  • Dil darakta hai bar bar,
  • Jab hota hai tera didar,
  • Dil darakta hai bar bar,

  • Aadat se majboor ho tum jane kab mang lo udhar.


  • ========================

  • A girl comes late to class,
  • Teacher: Why a re you late,
  • Girl: One boy was following me, sir,
  • Teacher: So, What ?
  • Girl: That boy was walking very slow.


  • ========================


  • Aik Charsi Eyes Donate Kerne gaya,
  • After operation,
  • Dr. Asks,
  • Kuch kehna Chahte ho,
  • Charsi: Jisko bhi Aankhein Lagaao,
  • Usey bata Dena K,
  • Ye Do Kash laganay,
  • k baad He Khulti Hain.


  • ========================

  • Sardar: For the past one week, a girl is disturbing Me,
  • I don’t know how she got my no,
  • She interrupts whenever I call someone,
  • and says Please Recharge Your Card.


  • ========================

  • Mallika went to a swimming, pool in a BRA &PANTY,
  • Guard: Madam here 2 piece, costume is notallowed,
  • Mallika: Kaun sa utaroon?


  • ========================
  • An Aeroplane asks a Rocket,
  • How is that you can fly so fast,
  • The Rocket replies you will know the pain, when they put fire at your back.


  • ========================

  • Life thought me lots of Lessons,
  • But!

  • As usual,
  • I slept in those classes.


  • ========================

  • Attachment is not when, two people chat day or night,

  • .

  • .

  • .

  • .

  • .

  • .

  • .

  • Instead its that File which we attach with the emails,

  • Yaar hadd hogayi, Zaroori nahi har post emotional ho.


  • ========================

  • Aise kon si cheez hai jo insan ko,
  • khanay k baad pta chalta hai k woh kha,
  • chuka hai or yaqeen phr bhi nhi ata.
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • Chamaat


  • ========================

  • 1 Rupia 1 Lakh Nai Hota,
  • Mgr Phr B,

  • 1 Rupia Lakh Se Nikal Jaye, To Wo Bi Lakh Nahi Rehta,

  • ap mere Lakhon Doston Mn Bus Wohi 1 Rupia Ho,
  • Smjay Theepay K Moo Waly.


  • ========================

  • Wen U Cry:- Koi Nhi Dekta,

  • Wen U Worried:- Koi Nhi Dekta,

  • Wen U Hapy:- Koi Nhi Dekta,

  • Lekin 1 Din DATE Pe Chale Jao,

  • Saala Pura Khandan Dhek Leta Hai.


  • ========================

  • The awkward moment when,
  • when your friend is arguing with their,
  • parents &,

  • their parents turns towards you,
  • and asks,

  • Do you ever talk to your parents like this.





  • ========================



  • When i want to fall in love with my books,

  • My bed falls in love with me,

  • And I believe that love the one who loves you.


  • ========================

  • Student:Sir!
  • Monkey aur Donkey may kya farg hay,

  • TEACHER:Agar message parhne wala hans,
  • paray to MONKEY,
  • Agar na Hansay to DONKEY,

  • Ab Marzi Apki.


  • ========================

  • Judge: 3rd time you are coming to court,
  • You don’t have shame,
  • Santa: you are coming daily,
  • You don’t have shame?


  • ========================
  • Woman has man in it,
  • Mrs has mr in it,
  • Female has male in it,
  • Madam has Adam in it,
  • So girls r always incomplete without boys.


  • ========================

  • Airlines slogan,
  • A warm experience & motherly treatment,
  • Warm b’coz AC doesn’t work &,
  • Motherly because Air hostesses are above 50.


  • ========================

  • There is only one perfect child, in the world, and every mother has it,
  • There is only one perfect wife, in the world and, every neighbour has it.


  • ========================

  • Aplication by santa,
  • Dear sir,
  • Sasriyakal, my wife, is ill as there is no other, husband in the family,
  • To look after her, So please kindly grant me, leave for 1 day,
  • Thank you.


  • ========================

  • A Boy after having gr8 time with GF,
  • He saw a Guy’s Photo in Her Bag, & asked
  • Is He your Ex-BF,
  • GF Kissd Him & said,
  • No it’s Me befiew surgery.


  • ========================

  • Consequences of American life style,
  • The wife rushed into house screaming, to her husband, Darling, Come quick, Ur kids n my kids r beating our kids.
  • ========================

  • Heaven is when u have,
  • A german car,
  • American salary,
  • Chineese food &
  • Indian wife,
  • Hell is when,
  • Car is chineese,
  • Food is german,
  • Wife is american &
  • Salary is indian.

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