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  • Wife : How much do you love me ?

  • Husband : I love U so much, I can’t measure.

  • Wife : No just tell me….

  • Husband : Okay, I am like a cellphone & you are my sim card, iam nothing without you…

  • Wife : Wow ! that’s so romantic…

  • Husband (saying to himself): Thank God she doesn’t know, this is a Chinese phone, with FOUR simcards…:D

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  • Aaj Kahene Ko Kuch Nahi Hai, Isliye Apna Mooh Seal Karta Hunn,
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  • Agar Kaafi Der Tak Kuchh Na Kahun To, Manmohan Sa feel Karta Hu 😀

  • ===================================

  • Once a couple hd to go for an important event,

  • Wife goes to take a bath aftr 30min,

  • Doctor Husband-kitna tym lagaogi,

  • a cute answer by his engineer wife,

  • Wife-mera saabun slow hai yaar 😀

  • ===================================

  • Ek Ladka ladki ko impress karne ke chakkar main bike se gir gaya,

  • ladki boli : aapko chot to nahi lagi?

  • ladka bola : are hat pagli hum bike se aise he utarten hain.

  • ===================================

  • Teacher: murgiyo ki tange choti q hoti hai batao?

  • Studnt: sir agar murgiyo ki tange lambi huyi toh ande gir kar toot jayenge na. 😀

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  • EK Baar Pinku aur uski puri family car mein ja rahi thi,
  • Tabhi Police ne car ko roka aur bola,
  • Ye suraksha week hai, Aap seat belt pahen kar car chala rahe ho, isliye aapko Rs 2500 ka inaam diya jaata hai,
  • Aap is inaam ka kya karoge,

  • inku: Main isse apna driving license banwaoonga…:p

  • Tabhi uski maa boli: Iski baat ka yakeen mat karo Daaru peekar kuch bhi bolta hai….:O

  • Uske papa neend se jaage aur police ko dekh ke bole:

  • Mujhe pata tha ki chori ki car mein hum zyada door nahin ja payenge.

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  • Santa ne Nokia ka sabse badi screen wala mobile le liya,

  • Kyon?
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  • Kyonki Woh dekna chahta tha hae ki,

  • Phone switch ON karne per kaun se 2 log hath milate hain.

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  • Ek ladka ladki facebook pe mile,
  • kahi kisi
  • post pe,
  • Pehle like, fir comment
  • fir chat post pe baat.
  • Kabhi hasi
  • kabhi mazak,
  • kabhi khatti meethi fariyad,
  • fir add as friend,
  • aur confirm friend,
  • wo notification accept ka
  • wo anjaani si khushi
  • fir msg me baat
  • jaan pehchaan aur subah shaam
  • yaad.
  • Wo subah good morning kehna
  • aur raato ko jag jag k good night
  • kehna
  • wo din me 10 baar uske msg ka
  • wait
  • karna
  • aur msg padh k akele akele hasna
  • kahani fir kuch aage badhi
  • dono me fir pyaar badha
  • pyaar me izhaar hua
  • izhar ka iqraar hua
  • sab kuch achha chal rha tha
  • dono khush the.
  • Ladki k kai aur frnd the.
  • Kisi ne ladki ko kaha k wo ladka
  • bura
  • hai
  • ladki ko trust nahi hua
  • aur fir bhi ladke se pyar karne lagi
  • par us din k baad ladki k manme
  • shak
  • janam le chuka tha
  • aur shak ne uske pyar ko dhire
  • dhire
  • khaana shuru kar diya
  • wo ladke k 1 min late repl y ko
  • bhi bewafai
  • kehne lagi
  • usne ye bhi na socha k ladka job
  • karta
  • hai.
  • Fir bhi ladka pehle jaisa tha us se
  • jyada
  • baat karne laga
  • dhire dhire ladki ko kisi aur se
  • pyar ho
  • gaya
  • usne ladke ko block kar diya
  • ladke ka dil tut gaya
  • ek pyaar ka ghar tut gaya
  • ladka haar chuka tha
  • usne facebook use karna band
  • kar diya
  • wo ladki aaj bhi khush nahi hai
  • kisi k
  • sath
  • aur us ladke ko dhundhti bhi hai
  • yaad
  • kar k
  • par ladka chala gaya tha
  • wo ladka bhi khush hai apne aap
  • me
  • kuch kahaniya aisi bhi hoti hai..
  • moral – zindagi me kisi ko khone
  • k baad
  • hi
  • uski keemat ka ehsaas hota hai.

  • ===================================

  • A junior in an office dialed his boss’s number by mistake & said :

  • Hey, send a coffee in my cabin in two minutes !
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  • Boss shouted : do you know whom you’re talking to?

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  • Junior: no!

  • Boss: i’m the boss of this office.

  • Junior(in the same tone):

  • & do u know whom you’re talking to?

  • Boss: no!

  • Junior: thank God.
  • (and disconnected the phone)

  • ===================================
  • Santa Banta Ki Dukaan Par Shave Karne Aaye,

  • Banta- Muchh Rakhni Hai?

  • SANTA- Han,

  • Banta (Much Kaat k)- Le Rakh Le,Jahan Rakhni Hai.





  • Old Lady to Doctor:

  • Mujhe Gas ki problem hai par achhi baat ye hai ki meri gas me na BadBu aati hai na Awaaz,
  • Aap k clinic me bhi 20 dafa gas chhod chuki hu par kisi ko pata nahi chala,

  • Doctor:
  • “Ye Dawa lijiye aur 1 week baad aayiye”
  • .

  • 1 week baad

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  • Old Lady:
  • “Aap ne mujhe kya dawa dedi?
  • Meri gas me ab bhi aawaz nahi aarahi par bahut Zehrili Badbu aa rahi hai”
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  • Doctor:
  • “Good..!
  • Aapki Naak theek hogayi hai Ab hum aap k KAAN ka ilaaj karenge.

  • ===================================
  • CuTe Letter From A Girl’s Diary whos waitin 4 her Prince,
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  • Dear future boyfrnd,
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  • Baby i cnt wait 2 be ur GF, ummm i`ve no idea who u r yet buh i cnt wait 2 c 😉
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  • i wanna do silly things wid u, mmm… i hope ua taller than me cuz i wud ♥ 2 bury my face in ua neck ( hehehe wich isnt hard m kinda short 😀 )
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  • i wnt 2 send u cute txts wen i think of u:* , ahem i`ll gladly lose hours of sleep . . 4 u :`)
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  • take ur time juz knw dat m waitin` ri8 here 4 u okay, ♥ ?
  • all d best n as always i ♥ u

  • C===================================

  • Nokrani se bartan toot gya.

  • Malkinne kaha:
  • “Haramzaadi ye kya kyatu ne ?

  • Bacha: Mumma ye “HARAMZADI kia hai ?

  • Maa: “Ye sochte hoe k bacha gaali na seekh jaye”
  • isliye keh diya : “Sehatmand”.

  • Agle din phir 1 or bartan toot gya,
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  • Malkin ne phir se gali di
  • :”kameeni” phir bartan tor dia..

  • Bacha: Maa “kameeni kya hota hai ?

  • Maa: “kamzor”..

  • 1 din bache ki dadi beemaar hogai,Bacha maa k sath dadi ko dekhne gaya aur kehne laga
  • ,
  • \
  • Maa dadi pehle kitni “haramzaadi thi ab kitni “kameeni hoti ja rahi hain

  • ===================================

  • Beta: mummy kya love marriage karny say ghar walay naaraz hote hain kya,

  • Maa: Tu yakenan kisi churail k chakar main hog aor ye sub tujhe usi daayan ne kaha hoga,
  • Larkiyan to bus larkon ko phansaanay main he lagi rehti hain,

  • Jahan Acha Larka dekha shuru hogaien,
  • Beta in se bach k rehna ye bohat makkar or KAMEENI hoti hain or inka to khandan bhi…….

  • Beta:aisa kuch nahi hai, Wo to dAddy bata rahey thay kAap Dono ki Love Marriage thee

  • ===================================

  • Boy: JAAN Tumhara naam hath pe likhu k dil pe,

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  • Gal: Idhar udhar kaha likhte ho Agar sacha pyar krte ho to sedhe apne proprty k paper pe likho.

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  • Mujh Se Wo Kehti Hai K Main Tumhari Zindagi Jannat Bana Doon Gi,
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  • Banani Usko Chai Bhi Nahi Aati Aur Confidence Checkk ker0 Bs

  • ===================================

  • Interviewr : what is difference between landline and cellfon,
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  • Killing answer by Pappu,
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  • Pappu : landline me number ungliyon se dail krna parta hy aur cellfone pe anguthe se

  • ===================================

  • 1 kanjus Ki Shadi Me Bar Bar Pani Pesh Kia Ja Raha Tha.

  • Santa Bhukh Se Behal Hokar Chilaya-
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  • “BHAI, BIRYANI miLEGI KYA?

  • Pani GALE me ATAK GaYA haI.

  • ===================================

  • 1 boy Bhri Bus Mein 1 Larki Se Touch ho rha tha,

  • Ladki Excuse Me Aap Acha Nahi Kar Rhe hain,

  • boy : Itne bhid Mein Is Se Acha Nahi Ho Sakta.

  • ===================================

  • Girl to Baba
  • If I kiss a boy to kya hoga,

  • Baba Narak mein jaogi sidhe,

  • Girl Acha agar ap ko kiss karun toh,
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  • Baba-Chalak ladki swarg mein jana chahti hai.




  • Mor Morni ko kiss krne lga,

  • Morni use rok k idhr udhr dekhne lgi,

  • Mor:Kya hua Janu,

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  • Morni-Dekh rhi hu aas pass Discovry wale to nhi hai,

  • Saale MMS bna lete hai :O

  • ===================================

  • After an emotional hug

  • Girl to Boy:
  • If u hug me once more like that, i will be urs forever,
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  • Boy: THANKS FOR THE WARNING.

  • ===================================

  • Govt.School K Bache Kisi Ko Ghaseet K School Le Ja Rahe The,

  • Buzurg- Ise chod Do Padna hoga to Ye Khud School Aayega,

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  • Boys-Ye Student Nahi MASTER Hai taau 😉

  • ===================================

  • Give smile to atleast one unknown person while walking on road,

  • So that

  • He will think whole day,
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  • Sala ye kaun tha be.

  • ===================================

  • Police: sab sach sach batao nahi to chaddi nikal ke marunga,
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  • Santa: chori mene ki h tum q chaddi nikaloge :O
  • ===================================

  • Apni wife ko impress krny ka aasan tareeqa,
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  • Wife hai jo tareqa dhond rhy ho?
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  • Jazbaat to dekho aajkal ke bachonke:P

  • ===================================
  • Teacher-Tere Papa Kya Karte Ha,

  • Santa-Sir,Wo HDFC ke Malik He,

  • Teacher-Wah wah,
  • HDFC Bank.!
  • .
  • Santa-Nahi Sir,Hiralal Dahi Bade & Faluda Center. . 😛

  • ===================================

  • Want To Surprise Your Girlfriend?
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  • Introduce Her To Your Wife. 😛

  • ===================================

  • Man to hotel manager:

  • Jaldi chalo,meri wife khirki se kodh kar jaan dena chati h.

  • Manager:So Sir what can i do.
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  • Man:Abe khirki nahi Khul Rahi

  • ===================================

  • Physics Teacher:

  • What is this measurable unit “µ” called?
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  • Student : Torrent.


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