best quotes hi quotes


  • FUN REFLECTIONS ON LIFE!

  • 1. Never raise your hands to your kids.
  • It leaves your groin unprotected.

  • 2. I'm not into working out.
  • My philosophy is no pain, no pain.

  • 3. I'm in shape. Round is a shape.

  • 4. I'm desperately trying to figure out why Kamikaze pilots wore helmets.

  • 5. Do you think illiterate people
  • get the full affect of alphabet soup?

  • 6. I've always wanted to be somebody,
  • but I should have been more specific.

  • 7. Ever notice when you blow in a dog's face he gets mad at you, but when you take him in a car he sticks his head out the window?

  • 8. Ever notice that anyone going slower than you is an idiot, but anyone
  • going faster than you is a maniac?

  • 9. You have to stay in shape. My mother started walking five miles a day
  • when she was 60. She's 97 now and we have no idea where she is.

  • 10. I have six locks on my door, all in a row. When I go out, I lock every
  • other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the
  • locks, they are always locking three of them.

  • 11. One out of every three Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of two of your best friends.
  • If they are OK, then it must be you.

  • 12. They show you how detergent takes out bloodstains. I think if you've got a tee shirt with bloodstains all over it, maybe your laundry isn't your biggest problem.

  • 13. Ask people why they have deer heads on their walls and they tell you
  • it's because they're such beautiful animals. I think my wife is beautiful,
  • but I only have photographs of her on the walls.

  • 14. A lady came up to me on the street, pointed at my suede jacket and
  • said, "Don't you know a cow was murdered for that jacket?" I said, "I didn't know there were any witnesses. Now I'll have to kill you too."

  • 15. Future historians will be able to study at the Jimmy Carter Library,
  • the Gerald Ford Library, the Ronald Reagan Library, and the Bill Clinton Adult Bookstore.
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  • A successful rancher died and left everything to his devoted wife. She was a very good looking woman, and determined to keep the ranch, but knew very little about ranching, so she decided to place an ad in the newspaper for a ranch hand.

  • Two men applied for the job. One was gay and the other a drunk. She thought long and hard about it, and when no one else applied, she decided to hire the gay guy, figuring it would be safer to have him around the house than the drunk.

  • He proved to be a hard worker who put in long hours every day and knew a lot about ranching.

  • For weeks, the two of them worked, and the ranch was doing very well. Then one day, the rancher's widow said to the hired hand, "You have done a really good job and the ranch looks great. You should go into town and kick up your heels."

  • The hired hand readily agreed and went into town one Saturday night. However one o'clock came and he didn't return. Two o'clock and no hired hand. He returned around two-thirty and upon entering the room, he found the rancher's widow sitting by the fireplace with a glass of wine waiting for him. She quietly called him over to her.

  • "Unbutton my blouse and take it off," she said.

  • Trembling, he did as she directed.

  • "Now take off my boots."

  • He did as she asked, ever so slowly.

  • "Now take off my socks."

  • He removed each gently and placed them neatly by her boots...

  • "Now take off my skirt."

  • He slowly unbuttoned it, constantly watching her eyes in the fire light.

  • "Now take off my bra."

  • Again with trembling hands he did as he was told and dropped it to the floor.

  • Now," she said, "take off my panties."

  • By the light of the fire, he slowly pulled them down and off.

  • Then she looked at him and said, "If you ever wear my clothes into town again, I'll fire you on the spot."
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  • The doctor tells me I'm crazy, but the voices tell me I'm not. and i just don't know which one to believe
  • =============================
  • A FEW WORDS FROM VISIONARY STEVEN WRIGHT: *ALL THOSE WHO BELIEVE IN TELEKINESIS, RAISE MY HAND.

  • *I almost had a psyhic girlfriend but she left me before we met.

  • *Depression is merely anger without the enthusiasm.

  • *When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

  • *Hard work pays off in the future, laziness pays off now.

  • *Everyone has a photographic memory, some just don't have film.

  • *Shin:A device for finding furniture in the dark.

  • *I intend to live forever, so far so good.

  • *Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

  • *24 hours in a day...24 cans of beer in a case...Coincidence?

  • *What happens when you get scared half to death twice?

  • *I couldn't repair your brakes so I made your horn louder.

  • *A fool and his money are soon partying

  • *Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow

  • *Only borrow money from pessimists, they don't expect to get it back.

  • *OK, so what is the speed of light?
  • =============================
  • There's nothing more beautiful than a smile that struggles through tears.
  • =============================
  • Thinking of you keeps me awake, Dreaming of you keeps me asleep, Being with you keeps me alive,but most of all Loving you keeps me happy.
  • =============================

  • People who say it cannot be done should not interrupt those who are doing it.
  • =============================
  • Women are like apples on trees. The best ones are at the top of the tree. The men don't want to reach for the good ones because they are afraid of falling and getting hurt. Instead, they just get the rotten apples from the ground that aren't as good, but easy.

  • So the apples at the top think something is wrong with them, when in reality, THEY'RE amazing. They just have to wait for the right man to come along, the one who's brave enough to climb all the way to the top of the tree.
  • =============================
  • "Don't find love, let love find you. That's why it's
  • called falling in love, because you don't force
  • yourself to fall, you just fall."
  • =============================
  • You can't lose someone you never had



  • Take the first chance that you get because you may never get another one."
  • =============================
  • {Theres *aLwAyS* gonna be that |ONE| boy that makes your heart juMP everytime you see him..you think about him all day....you could talk to him forever, and when you hear his voice you fall in love all over again..and no matter WHAT he says or does..u NEVER GIVE UP on him}
  • =============================
  • Two Questions.

  • Question 1:
  • If you knew a woman who was pregnant, who had 8 kids already, three who were deaf, two who were blind, one mentally reatarded, and she had syphilis, would you recommend that she have an abortion?

  • Read the next question before looking at the response for this one.

  • Question 2:
  • It is time to elect a new world leader, and only your vote counts.
  • Here are the facts about the three candidates.

  • Candidate A:
  • Associates with crooked politicians, and consults with astrologists. He's had two mistresses. He also chain smokes and drinks 8 to 10 Martinis a day.

  • Candidate B:
  • He was kicked out of office twice, sleeps until noon, used opium in college and drinks a quart of whiskey every evening.

  • Candidate C:
  • He is a decorated war hero. He's a vegetarian, doesn't smoke, drinks an occasional beer and never committed adultery.

  • Which of these candidates would be our choice?

  • Decide first... No peeking, then scroll down for the response.






  • =============================








  • Candidate A is Franklin D. Roosevelt.
  • Candidate B is Winston Chruchill.
  • Candidate C is Adolf Hitler.

  • And, by the way, on your answer to the abortion question:
  • If you said YES, you just killed Beethoven.

  • Pretty interesting isn't it?
  • Makes a person think before judging someone.

  • Remember:

  • Amateurs... Built the ark.
  • Professionals... Built the Titanic.
  • =============================
  • Its funny how a heart is two tear drops upside down.
  • =============================
  • My smile is a lie, it masks my pain and hides how I truly feel. Look at my eyes and you will see the truth. My mouth lies, while my eyes can only cry.
  • =============================
  • A diamond is merely a lump of coal that did well under pressure.
  • =============================

  • Poem that will give you goose bumps..............

  • A drunk man in an Oldsmobile
  • They said had run the light
  • That caused the six-car pileup
  • On 109 that night.

  • When broken bodies lay about
  • And blood was everywhere,
  • The sirens screamed out eulogies,
  • For death was in the air.

  • A mother, trapped inside her car,
  • Was heard above the noise;
  • Her plaintive plea near split the air:
  • Oh, God, please spare my boys!"

  • She fought to loose her pinned hands;
  • She struggled to get free,
  • But mangled metal held her fast
  • In grim captivity.

  • Her frightened eyes then focused
  • On where the back seat once had been,
  • But all she saw was broken glass and
  • Two children's seats crushed in.

  • Her twins were nowhere to be seen;
  • She did not hear them cry,
  • And then she prayed they'd been thrown free,
  • Oh, God, don't let them die!"

  • Then firemen came and cut her loose,
  • But when they searched the back,
  • They found therein no little boys,
  • But the seat belts were intact.

  • They thought the woman had gone mad
  • And was travelling alone,
  • But when they turned to question her,
  • They discovered she was gone.

  • Policemen saw her running wild
  • And screaming above the noise
  • In beseeching supplication,
  • Please help me find my boys!

  • They're four years old and wear blue shirts;
  • Their jeans are blue to match."
  • One cop spoke up, "They're in my car,
  • And they don't have a scratch.

  • They said their daddy put them there
  • And gave them each a cone,
  • Then told them both to wait for Mom
  • To come and take them home.

  • I've searched the area high and low,
  • But I can't find their dad.
  • He must have fled the scene,
  • I guess, and that is very bad."

  • The mother hugged the twins and said,
  • While wiping at a tear,
  • He could not flee the scene, you see,
  • For he's been dead a year."

  • The cop just looked confused and asked,
  • Now, how can that be true?"
  • The boys said, "Mommy, Daddy came
  • And left a kiss for you."

  • He told us not to worry
  • And that you would be all right,
  • And then he put us in this car with
  • The pretty, flashing light.

  • We wanted him to stay with us,
  • Because we miss him so,
  • But Mommy, he just hugged us tight
  • And said he had to go.

  • He said someday we'd understand
  • And told us not to fuss,
  • And he said to tell you, Mommy,
  • He's watching over us."

  • The mother knew without a doubt.
  • That what they spoke was true,
  • For she recalled their dad's last words,
  • I will watch over you."

  • The firemen's notes could not explain
  • The twisted, mangled car,
  • And how the three of them escaped
  • Without a single scar.

  • But on the cop's report was scribed,
  • In print so very fine,
  • An angel walked the beat tonight
  • on Hwy. 109
  • =============================
  • I can only show you the door. You're the one who has to walk through it.
  • =============================
  • I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.
  • =============================
  • The things two people do to each other they remember. If they stay together, it's not because they forget; it's because they forgive.

  • =============================

  • Girl: What do you want to be when you grow up?
  • Boy: Your husband.
  • =============================
  • i love the way you look at me even when you don't think i'm watching.
  • i love the way you smile at me even when i've said the most stupidest thing.
  • i love the way we can fight and hang up the phone knowing the other person wants to call back but both are too stubborn.
  • i love the way you can light up my face by just walking in a room.
  • i love the way you look at me as you gently kiss my forehead
  • i love all of this, but what i love most is...you
  • And i can't imagine living any other way; even if i can't see you every day, your voice echoes in my head, your love remains in my heart.
  • And if you walk away, i know that it will be the best thing to ever walk out of my life.
  • - me

  • =============================
  • Every girl wants to find the one
  • She can be herself infront of.
  • The one she can say anything to.
  • The one she can laugh, smile, and cry with.
  • The one she can lay with,
  • and she can fight with.
  • And at the end of the night,
  • He's still crazy about her...
  • - i stole it from some1
  • =============================
  • The best memories
  • are the ones that
  • you try to explain
  • but in the end...
  • you just say...
  • you had to be there
  • =============================
  • ALLOW ME TO EXPLAIN A BROKEN HEART ::

  • *A BROKEN HEART is when you actually refuse to get out of bed in the morning because you are afraid of the reality that awaits you.

  • *A BROKEN HEART is when you think about the individual that broke your heart constantly. You reminisce the "Good Times" almost as if the "Bad Times" never existed.

  • *A BROKEN HEART is when you are crying yourself to sleep every night & yet crying more & more each morning.

  • *A BROKEN HEART is the unforgettable smell of his shirt that sits in that empty box; stowed away.

  • *A BROKEN HEART is the cold shattering feeling you receive when you hear the syllables of his name.

  • *A BROKEN HEART is glancing at the pictures of the two of you, & then quickly turning your attention to something else to avoid your tears.

  • *A BROKEN HEART is re-reading his ancient letters & putting away the jewelry that he once bought for you.

  • *A BROKEN HEART is secretly wanting to run back to him & secretly wanting to just be loved by him again.

  • *A BROKEN HEART is asking desperately for just one last chance with the only person responsible for your loneliness.

  • *A BROKEN HEART is pretending to not care what his friends are saying about you.

  • *A BROKEN HEART is forcing yourself to hang up the phone after you have dialed the first three digits to his number.

  • *A BROKEN HEART is screaming & begging for a second chance inside.

  • *A BROKEN HEART is the emptiness & heart-wrenching feeling you encounter when you see him with his new love.

  • *A BROKEN HEART is knowing that no matter what you do or say to yourself, you can't fool your heart into believing that you will in fact "Be Alright."

  • *A BROKEN HEART is seeing him, & even though it may be the hardest thing that you have ever had to do, you decide to walk away.

  • *A BROKEN HEART is listening to that one song that makes you break down over & over again.

  • *A BROKEN HEART sometimes means: not wanting to go on.
  • =============================
  • If your problem has a solution then...why worry about it? If your problem doesn’t have solution then...why worry about it?
  • =============================

  • True friends can see the hurt in your eyes when everyone else is fooled by your smile.
  • =============================
  • wait...if there's no I in team ...and there's no U in team...THEN WHO THE **** IS ON THE TEAM!
  • =============================
  • A friend is someone who understand your past, believes in your future, and accepts you today just the way you are.
  • =============================

  • =============================

  • And all the while I feel like I'm standing in the middle of a crowded room, screaming at the top of my lungs, and no one even looks up
  • =============================
  • YES..AND THEY WALK AMONG US

  • I was at the checkout of a Kmart. The clerk rang up $46.64 charge. I gave her a fifty dollar bill. She gave me back $46.64. I gave it back to her and told her that she had made a mistake in MY favor and gave her the money back. She became indignant and informed me she was educated and knew what she was doing and returned the money again. I gave her the money back again ... same senario ! I departed the store with the $46.64.
  • I walked into a Mickey D's with a buy-one-get-one-free coupon For a sandwich. I handed it to the girl and she looked over at a little Chalkboard that said "buy one-get one free." "They're already buy-one- get-one-free", she said, "so I guess they're both free" She handed me my free sandwiches and I walked out the door.
  • One day I was walking down the beach with some friends when one Of them shouted, "Look at that dead bird!" Someone looked up at the Sky and said, "Where ?"
  • While looking at a house, my brother asked the real estate agent which direction was north because, he explained, he didn't want the sun waking him up every morning. She asked, "Does the sun rise in the north?" When my brother explained that the sun rises in the east, and has for sometime, she shook her head and said, "Oh I don't keep up with that stuff."
  • I used to work in technical support for a 24/7 call center. One day I got a call from an individual who asked what hours the call center was open. I told him, "The number you dialed is open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week." He responded, "Is that Eastern or Pacific time?" Wanting to end the call quickly, I said, "Uh, Pacific."
  • My sister has a lifesaving tool in her car designed to cut through a Seat belt if she gets trapped. She keeps it in the trunk.
  • My friends and I were on a beer run and noticed that the cases were discounted 10%. Since it was a big party, we bought 2 cases. The cashier multiplied 2 times 10% and gave us a 20% discount.
  • I couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage area, so I went To the lost luggage office and told the woman there that my bags Never showed up. She smiled and told me not to worry because she was a Trained professional and I was in good hands. "Now," she asked me, has your plane arrived yet?"
  • While working at a pizza parlor I observed a man ordering a small pizza to go. He appeared to be alone and the cook asked him if he would like it cut into 4 pieces or 6. He thought about it for some time before responding. "Just cut it into 4 pieces; I don't think I'm hungry enough to eat 6 pieces."
  • =============================
  • Winners don't wait for chances, they take them
  • =============================
  • "Maybe I can't stop the downpour, but I will always, always join you for a walk in the rain."
  • =============================
  • There are two kinds of people, those that do the work and those that take the credit. Try to be in the first group, there is less competition there.
  • =============================
  • They keep saying there is a perfect person for everyone out there but I seriously think that mine got hit by a truck.
  • =============================

  • Jenny was so happy about the house they had found. For once in her life 'twas on the right side of town. She unpacked her things with such great ease. As she watched her new curtains blow in the breeze. How wonderful it was to have her own room. School would be starting; she'd have friends over soon. There'd be sleep-overs, and parties; she was so happy It's just the way she wanted her life to be. On the first day of school, everything went great. She made new friends and even got a date! She thought, "I want to be popular and I'm going to be, Because I just got a date with the star of the team!" To be known in this school you had to have clout, And dating this guy would sure help her out. There was only one problem stopping her fate. Her parents had said she was too young to date. "Well I just won't tell them the entire truth. They won't know the difference; what's there to lose?" Jenny asked to stay with her friends that night. Her parents frowned but said, "All right." Excited, she got ready for the big event But as she rushed around like she had no sense, She began to feel guilty about all the lies, But what's a pizza, a party, and a moonlight ride? Well the pizza was good, and the party was great, But the moonlight ride would have to wait. For Dan was half drunk by this time. But he kissed her and said that he was just fine. Then the room filled with smoked and Dan took a puff. Jenny couldn't believe he was smoking that stuff. Now Dan was ready to ride to the point But only after he'd smoked another joint. They jumped in the car for the moonlight ride, Not thinking that he was too drunk to drive. They finally made it to the point at last, And Dan started trying to make a pass. A pass is not what Jenny wanted at all (and by a pass, I don't mean playing football.) "Perhaps my parents were right....maybe I am too young. Boy, how could I ever, ever be so dumb." With all of her might, she pushed Dan away: "Please take me home, I don't want to stay." Dan cranked up the engine and floored the gas. In a matter of seconds they were going too fast. As Dan drove on in a fit of wild anger, Jenny knew that her life was in danger. She begged and pleaded for him to slow down, But he just got faster as they neared the town. "Just let me get home! I'll confess that I lied. I really went out for a moonlight ride." Then all of a sudden, she saw a big flash. "Oh God, Please help us! We're going to crash!" She doesn't remember the force of impact. Just that everything all of a sudden went black. She felt someone remove her from the twisted rubble, And heard, "call an ambulance! These kids are in trouble! Voices she heard...a few words at best. But she knew there were two cars involved in the wreck. Then wondered to herself if Dan was all right, And if the people in the other car was alive. She awoke in the hospital to faces so sad. "You've been in a wreck and it looks pretty bad." These voices echoed inside her head, As they gently told her that Dan was dead. They said "Jenny, we've done all we can do. But it looks as if we'll lose you too." "But the people in the other car!?" Jenny cried. "We're sorry, Jenny, they also died." Jenny prayed, "God, forgive me for what I've done I only wanted to have just one night of fun." "Tell those people's family, I've made their lives dim, And wish I could return their families to them." "Tell Mom and Dad I'm sorry I lied, And that it's my fault so many have died. Oh, nurse, won't you please tell them that for me?" The nurse just stood there-she never agreed. But took Jenny's hand with tears in her eyes. And a few moments later Jenny died. A man asked the nurse, "Why didn't you do your best To bid that girl her one last request?" She looked at the man with eyes so sad. "Because the people in the other car were her mom and dad." This story is sad and unpleasant but true, So young people take heed, it could have been you.
  • =============================
  • To realize The value of a sister:
  • Ask someone Who doesn't have one.

  • To realize The value of ten years:
  • Ask a newly Divorced couple.

  • To realize The value of four years:
  • Ask a graduate.

  • To realize The value of one year:
  • Ask a student who Has failed a final exam.

  • To realize The value of nine months:
  • Ask a mother who gave birth to a still born.

  • To realize The value of one month:
  • Ask a mother who has Given birth to a premature baby.

  • To realize The value of one week:
  • Ask an editor of a weekly newspaper.

  • To realize The value of one hour:
  • Ask the lovers who are waiting to Meet.

  • To realize The value of one minute:
  • Ask a person
  • Who has missed the train, bus or plane.

  • To realize The value of one-second:Ask a person
  • Who has survived an accident.

  • To realize The value of one millisecond:
  • Ask the person who has
  • Won a silver medal in the Olympics.

  • To realize the value of a friend
  • Lose one.
  • =============================
  • A friend is someone who will catch you when you fall, dry your tears and tell you it will be all right, pretend to be happy just to cheer you up, never leave you by yourself, attempt to talk to you at least once a day no matter what, make you laugh when you're sad, call back if you hang up on them, make everything you two do together into something fun no matter how boring it is, always remind you of your inside jokes, finish your sentences, think the same way you do, follow you wherever you go, stop you from doing something stupid or hurting yourself, and they're always willing to give up something that means a lot to them because they can be sure you'll always be there in return, and because to them you'll always mean more than you can imagine.
  • =============================
  • There Is No Next Time, No Time Outs, No Second Chances, Sometimes It's Now Or Never
  • =============================

  • They asked me if I kissed you.
    • I told them yes.
    • They asked if I regretted it.
    • I told them no.
    • They asked me if I regretted falling for you.
    • I told them no.
    • They asked me how I could have ever liked you.

    • I replied:

    • I don't regret any of my feelings or things I did with him, because when I look at him I see something different than what everyone else can see. When I'm with him, I feel a feeling that no one or being anywhere else can give me. When I kissed him, my world around me melted. When he held me in his arms and rested his head on mine, I forgot everything but my world that was holding me. Even though all of you may see something in him that is so horrible, all I see is all the positive, and special moments that he ever shared with me...
    • The only thing that I regret is listening to everyone else, because if I had listened to my heart, I would still have him by my side. He would still be just a phone call away. But now, he's just a phone call away for someone else...
    • ===================================
    • How do you know if he really loves you? It's when you scream, and he calms you. When you slap him, and he kisses you. When you cry, and he hugs you. When you tell him you hate him, and he tells you he loves you.
    • ===================================
    • I live in a world full of people pretending to be something they're not
    • ===================================
    • i guess i'm just a skittle in a world of M&M's..
    • ===================================
    • Why do girls run from the ones that make them happy, and fight for the ones that make them cry?
    • ===================================
    • How To Annoy People On An Airplane

    • 1. Act like a movie star.
    • 2. Ask someone for their autograph, pretending that you think they're Tom Cruise or Madonna. (This best when the person looks nothing like the movie star in question.)
    • 3. Ask the guy next to you to hold your dentures (senior citizens only).
    • 4. Ask the person next to you, "Are you in the Witness Protection program too?"
    • 5. Bring a "Word-a-Day" calendar on board with you. Read every single word aloud and attempt to use it in a sentence. Use them all incorrectly. "My, you have a very irate home,' she said governessly."
    • 6. Bring a cellular phone. Call God. Say, "The reception is much clearer up here...."
    • 7. Bring a duffel bag packed with pipe cleaners, styrofoam balls, construction paper, etc. Organize a "Kraft Korner". Make a craft likeness of the person sitting next to you. Give yourself an "F".
    • 8. Bring a microphone and act like Frank Sinatra.
    • 9. Bring your computer keyboard without a monitor. Place it on your lap. Stare into the palm of your hand. Wait. Push the return key a few times. Yell out "Yes! Alright! I told them I didn't need a laptop!" Plug the headphones into your nostril and play Doom.
    • 10. Call the stewardess "nurse".
    • 11. Continually offer to share your "Beano".
    • 12. Decorate. Bring a scatter rug and tiny draperies. Hang a "Home Sweet Home" plaque on the back of the seat in front of you. Invite your fellow passengers in for tea.
    • 13. Disco dance in the aisle.
    • 14. Don't use deoderant, then "accidently" stick your armpit in someone's face.
    • 15. During the inflight movie, ask to share headphones with someone.
    • 16. Explain how, one time, the plane was crashing and the oxygen masks didn't come out, 'cause they aren't really reliable, and that if the plane was to crash, everyone would die.
    • 17. Fart loudly and act shocked, looking around to see who did it.
    • 18. Fiddle around with the emergency exit, then ask a fellow passenger if he has a crowbar.
    • 19. Get some rub-on tattoos and a leather jacket, pretend that you belong to a biker gang.
    • 20. Go into the bathroom and make rude bodily noises, then come out looking refreshed.
    • 21. Go into the bathroom, drop your pants, then come out, yelling "We're out of toilet paper! Stewardess!"
    • 22. Go into the cockpit, ask the pilot in an obnoxious voice "Why do the call it the COCKpit?" then snort as if it's the funniest thing in the world.
    • 23. If someone has a bad toupee, whack it off.
    • 24. Jump up and scream "AAAHHH!! I left the stove on!!"
    • 25. Lead a bible study session in the back of the plane.
    • 26. Lead a revolt against the first class passengers.
    • 27. Lean back in your seat, fold your arms behind your head and exclaim, "Thank God for auto-pilot, eh?"
    • 28. Mess up your hair, untuck your shirt, basically look crude, and mingle with a first class guy as if you were long-lost friends.
    • 29. Moon passing Delta planes.
    • 30. No matter what the meal choices are, demand rice-a-roni.
    • 31. Pick your nose and pat the person next to you.
    • 32. Pinch the stewardess' butt as she passes.
    • 33. Pretend you're flying the plane.
    • 34. Put on a ten foot diameter sombrero and slouch in your seat, whacking everyone on the head.
    • 35. Remark that perhaps you shouldn't have put superglue in your undies that morning.
    • ===================================

    • If you think sunshine brings you happiness, then you haven't danced in the rain.
    • ===================================
    • I'm a nobody, nobody is perfect, therefore I am perfect!
    • ===================================
    • Don't hate me because I'm beautiful...hate me because your man thinks I am
    • ===================================
    • Everything you want comes after you stop looking for it..


    • ===================================

    • there's always going to be those 4 different guys in your life:

    • guy #1: you're best friend.
    • he's there for you always. he would never let you down. cares about you. comforts you when you're down. protects you when you're put down. he would never betray you. keep him.

    • guy #2: the player.
    • you can't help but to fall for him. he seems to do everything right, so you think you love him. in the end, you find out he played you, lied to you, used you, and probably didn't really even care about you. forget him.

    • guy #3: the enemy.
    • the one who would do ANYTHING just to bring you down. he'll humiliate you, judge you, embarrass you, anything he can do just to make you feel smaller than what you are. ignore him.

    • guy #4: you're soul mate.
    • often turns out to be you're best friend. he tells you how it is, even if you don't want to hear the truth. he'll hold you, kiss you, protect you, and love you no matter what. you can talk to him about anything. he'll see you at your worse and still think you're beautiful. he's there for you no matter what. love him.
    • ===================================


    • ===================================



    • The hardest part of growing up is that you have to do what is right for you, even if it means breaking someone's heart. Including your own.
    • ===================================
    • Only dead fish go with the current.
    • ===================================
    • A little boy walked into his mom and dads room while they were fighting. The dad yelled, "You b*****!" And the mom screamed, "You bas***!" And the little boy said, "Mommy, Daddy what does that mean???" And the parents replied "Um...ladies and gentlemen." And with that answer the little boy ran off to bed.

    • The next night the parents were really horny, the dad said "Nice tits!" And the mom, "Nice dick!" And the little boy ran into the room and asked, "Mommy, Daddy what does that mean???" "Um...hats and coats." And with that answer the little boy ran back to bed.

    • The next day was Thanksgiving and all of the relatives were going to be eating and celebrating at the little boys house. The little boy was on his way up the stairs and ran into the bathroom. When he swung the door open it hit his dad's elbow, (the dad was shaving and he cut himself) "Sh**!" He bellowed. "Daddy what does that mean???" "Um, it is the name of the shaving cream that I'm using, now run downstairs and see what your mom is doing." And with that the little boy did as he was told. Meanwhile his mom was slicing the turkey, and she accidentally put her finger in the wrong place. "F***!" She hollered and the little boy said , "Mommy, what does that mean???" "Um, it means I'm cutting the turkey."

    • DING-DONG the door bell rang and the little boy scampered off to answer it saying: "Hello all of you b***** and b******, hang up your titties and dicks. Dad's up stairs whipping the sh** off of his face and mom's in the kitchen fu**** the turkey!"
    • ===================================
    • Smile -- It makes a world of difference.
    • Dance -- Who knows when you wont be able to.
    • Cry -- Holding those emotions in is bad for you.
    • Kiss -- Kisses are the most wonderful things in the world.
    • Laugh -- Whats the point in hiding happiness?
    • Frown -- Why not let him know you're unhappy?
    • Apologize -- You dont wanna lose friends.
    • Hug -- Theres no better feeling being wrapped up close to someone you love.
    • Live -- because life is everything.
    • ===================================
    • God gives you answers in three ways: he says yes and gives you want you want, he says no and gives you something better, or he says wait and gives you the best.
    • ===================================

    • "Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgement that something else is more important than fear."
    • ===================================
    • "If something is not happening for you, it doesn't mean it's never going to happen. It means you're not ready for it."
    • ===================================
    • The buddy system is essential to your survival; it gives the enemy somebody else to shoot at.
    • ===================================
    • Don't go knocking on death's door, ring the doorbell and run, he hates that
    • ===================================


    • Impossible is just a big word thrown around by small men who find it easier to live in the world they've been given than to explore the power they have to change it. Impossible is not a fact. It's an opinion. Impossible is not a declaration. It's a dare. Impossible is potential. Impossible is temporary. Impossible is nothing.
    • -
    • ===================================
    • A small boy lived by the ocean. He loved all the creatures of the sea, especially the starfish, and spent much of his time exploring the seashores. One day he learned that there would be a minus tide that would leave the starfish stranded on the sand. The day of the tide he went down to the beach and began picking up the stranded starfish and started tossing them back in the sea. An elderly man who lived next door came to down to the beach to see what he was doing. “I’m saving the starfish.” The boy proudly declared. When the neighbor saw all of the stranded starfish he shook his head and said, “I’m sorry to disappoint you young man, but if the look down the beach one way, there are stranded starfish as far as the eye can see. And if you look the other way, it’s the same. One boy like you isn’t going to make much of a difference.” The boy thought about this for a moment. Then he reached his small hand down to the sand, picked up a starfish, tossed it back into the ocean and said, “I sure made a difference for that one”
    • ===================================
    • Have you ever noticed that if you rearranged the letters in Mother-In-Law, they come out to Woman Hitler?
    • ===================================
    • Don't practice until you get it right. Practice until you can't get it wrong.
    • ===================================
    • When i grow up and my daughter asks me who my first love was. i dont want to take out the photo albums. i just want to point across the room. and say there he is.
    • ===================================
    • The second best thing to do with your lips is smile.
    • ===================================

    • "Everything has beauty, but not everyone sees it."
    • ===================================
    • Sometimes we must get hurt in order to grow; we must fail in order to know. Sometimes our vision clears only after our eyes are washed away with tears.
    • ===================================
    • B.I.T.C.H - Beautiful Invidual That Creates Hell
    • ===================================
    • The only people you need in life are the ones that need you in theirs....



    • Every story has an end, but in life every ending is just a new begining.
    • ===================================
    • I wanted a perfect ending. Now I've learned, the hard way, that some poems don't rhyme, and some stories don't have a clear beginning, middle, and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what's going to happen next.
    • ===================================
    • Your best friend is the one who's laughed with you, cried with you, and despaired with you. Your best friend is the one who loves and accepts all the strange or quirky things about you. Your best friend is the one who's shirts are stained with mascara from your tears. Your best friend is the one who can look at you and have a whole conversation without moving their mouth once. Your best friend is the one who's seen you at your worst, and said you were the best. Your best friend is the one who fought for and defended you-even when they knew you were wrong. Your best friend is the one who can honestly say "I love you." and not think twice about how it was taken. Your best friend is the one who crashes on your couch at four in the morning. Your best friend is the one who kicked you in the ass and straightened you out when you were about to make a big mistake. Your best friend is the one who knows you inside out. Your best friend is the one who never has to ask- they already know the answer. Your best friend is the one with whom you can't play twenty questions because they already know the answer to every question. Your best friend is the one who fought with you, missed you, and made up with you after many bitter exchanges were made. Your best friend is the one who stood by your side when you were having a hard time, and always forgave you for being a b*tch. Your best friend is the one who doesn't expect an apology but deserves one. Your best friend is the one who covered for you to keep you out of serious trouble. Your best friend is the one who never judged you for what you had done, never called you a dirty name because you had been less than good. Your best friend is the one who is your main partner in crime. Your best friend is the one who will always need you and miss you in times of need when you can't be there, but knows you would be if it was possible. Your best friend is the one whom you may need most, who will always seek your company, but will push you away to avoid pulling you down with them when they know they can't win.
    • ===================================
    • people like you are the reason we have middle fingers
    • ===================================
    • I miss you so much and there is so much of me that wishes you were back in my life, but the worst part is I know we are better off apart, but I want you to know that I love you, and if it were up to my heart I would do anything to make this work
    • ===================================
    • Have you ever felt so alone and nothing seems to make sense? well that's how i feel right now. I feel like I'm facing everything by myself with nothing but tears and a fake smile...
    • ===================================

    • I know I don't have the prettiest face for you to look at and I don't have the skinniest waist for you to hold, but I promise you, I have the biggest heart to love you with.
    • ===================================
    • "By the power vested in me, I now pronounce you deleted and blocked. You may now kiss my ass"
    • - wise friend xD
    • ===================================
    • Two people are sitting at a bar drinking, one of them turns to the other and says

    • "You arent irish by any chance are you?"
    • "Why yes I am",replied the other man
    • "Fancy that! Where abouts in Ireland are you from?"
    • "Dublin"
    • "Cor! Me 2"
    • "Really, where did you graduate?"
    • "St Marys"
    • "Me too!! What year?"
    • "1986"
    • "Oh my God! So did i!"


    • The bar man sighed "Its going to be a long night... The O Malley twins are drunk again."
    • ===================================
    • Sometimes we expect more from others, cause we would be willing to do that much for them..


    • They say love hides in every corner--then I must be walking in circles
    • ===================================
    • You never really live until you find someone worth dying for
    • ===================================
    • 1. Men are like ...Laxatives...They irritate the crap out of you.
    • 2. Men are like .Bananas ...The older they get, the less firm they are.
    • 3. Men are like ..Weather... Nothing can be done to change them.
    • 4. Men are like ..Blenders... You need one, but you're not quite sure why.
    • 5. Men are like .. Chocolate Bars... Sweet, smooth, & they usually head right for your hips.
    • 6. Men a re like .. Commercials... You can't believe all they say.
    • 7. Men are like . Department Stores... Their clothes are always 1/2 off.
    • 8. Men are like ..Government Bonds ... They take soooooooo long to mature.
    • 9. Men are like ...Mascara ... They usually run at the first sign of emotion.
    • 10. Men are like ..Popcorn... They satisfy you, but only for a little while.
    • 11. Men are like ..Snowstorms... You never know when they're coming, how ma ny inches you'll get or how long it will last.
    • 12. Men are like .. Lava Lamps... Fun to look at, but not very bright.
    • 13. Men are like ...Parking Spots .. All the good ones are taken, the rest are handicapped.
    • ===================================
    • Girls have unique powers; they get wet without water, bleed without injury and make boneless things hard..
    • ===================================
    • I AM NOT THERE

    • Do not stand at my grave and weep;
    • I am not there. I do not sleep.
    • I am a thousand winds that blow,
    • I am the diamond glints on snow,
    • I am the sunlight on ripened grain,
    • I am the gentle autumn's rain.

    • When you awaken in the morning's hush,
    • I am the swift uplifting rush,
    • Of quiet birds circled flight
    • I am the soft stars that shine at night.
    • Do not stand at my grave and cry. I am not there. I did not die.
    • ===================================
    • Sometimes I wish I was a little girl again--because bruised knees heal faster than broken hearts."
    • ===================================

    • There is no person in the world who is made to handle every punch that's thrown at them.
    • We aren't made that way. In fact, we're made to get mad, upset, sad, be hurt, stumble and fall.
    • We aren't supposed to be able to handle everything.
    • ===================================
    • Jamie: You don't know the first thing about being someone's friend.
    • Landon: I don't want to just be your friend.
    • Jamie: You don't know what you want.
    • Landon: Neither do you. Maybe you're just too scared that someone might actually want to be with you.
    • Jamie: And why would that scare me?
    • Landon: Because then you wouldn't be able to hide behind your books, or your frickin' telescope, or your faith. No, no, you know the real reason why you're scared? It's cause maybe you wanna be with me too.
    • ===================================
    • Did you ever notice that there's a certain line in every song
    • sticks out because it reminds you of a person that you just can't forget?
    • ===================================
    • Friends are those rare people who ask how we are and then wait to hear the answer.




    • People say best friends are hard to find -- that's because the best is already mine!
    • ===================================
    • “Are we going to be friends forever?” Asked Piglet.
    • “Even longer,” Pooh answered.
    • ===================================
    • Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.
    • ===================================
    • I'll soon get over us, this I know is true, then the day you start wanting me, I won't be wanting you, someday you'll remember, someday when your free, memories will remind you, that we were meant to be!
    • ===================================
    • One day a 6 year old was sitting in a classroom. The teacher was going to explain evolution to the children. The teacher asked a little boy:

    • TEACHER: Tommy do you see the tree outside?
    • TOMMY: Yes.
    • TEACHER: Tommy, do you see the grass outside?
    • TOMMY: Yes.
    • TEACHER: Go outside and look up and see if you can see the sky.
    • TOMMY: Okay. (He returned a few minutes later) Yes, I saw the sky.
    • TEACHER: Did you see God?
    • TOMMY: No.
    • TEACHER: That's my point. We can't see God because he isn't there. He just doesn't exist.

    • A little girl spoke up and wanted to ask the boy some questions.

    • The teacher agreed and the little girl asked the
    • boy:
    • LITTLE GIRL: Tommy, do you see the tree outside?
    • TOMMY: Yes
    • LITTLE GIRL: Tommy do you see the grass outside?
    • TOMMY: Yessssss!
    • LITTLE GIRL: Did you see the sky?
    • TOMMY: Yessssss!
    • LITTLE GIRL: Tommy, do you see the teacher?
    • TOMMY: Yes.
    • LITTLE GIRL: Do you see her brain?
    • TOMMY: No.
    • LITTLE GIRL: Then according to what we were taught today in school, she must not have one!

    • BURN!

    • "FOR WE WALK BY FAITH, NOT BY SIGHT"
    • - 2 CORINTHIANS 5:7
    • ===================================
    • She smiles through the pain because she knows, even though she's breaking inside, he's still watching.
    • ===================================

    • Trust is like a mirror..once its BROKEN you can never look at it the same again...
    • ===================================
    • It's not that I'm afraid of dying, it's that I'm afriad of time. You know, not having enough of it.
    • ===================================
    • A girl only needs three things in her life: love to make her weak, alcohol to make her strong, and friends to pick her up when the first two make her hit the ground...
    • -
    • ===================================
    • Learn from the mistakes of others. You can't live long enough to make them all yourself.



    • It's sweet when someone remembers every little detail about you, not because you keep reminding them... but because they pay attention.
    • ===================================
    • Be careful who you open up to. Only a few people actually care, the rest are just curious.
    • ===================================
    • s
    • There are so many things I wish I could tell you, but I can't. I'm not sure if you would ever understand because I don't understand half of it. I want to be with you so bad, but I'm so afraid of getting hurt and because of that, I end up getting hurt more. I can sit here and say that I don't care about you and that I'm not going to let you hurt me, and just by saying that I know that you can and have. It’s not your fault, it never is. Its me.
    • ===================================
    • There is a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.
    • ===================================
    • If you are going to walk on thin ice, you might as well dance.
    • ===================================
    • I never quite figured out why the sexual urges of men and women differ so much.

    • And I never figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing.

    • I have never figured out why men think with their head and women think with their heart.

    • I have never figured out why the sexual desire gene gets thrown into a state of turmoil, when it hears the words "I do."

    • FOR EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me." I said "WHAT!!! What was that?!" So she says the words that every husband on the planet dreads to hear..."You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man." She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"

    • Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night I went to sleep. The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take so I told her we'd just buy them all! She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit. We went to the jewelery department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you, she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all dear, lets go to the cashier." I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it." Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, "WHAT??!!!" I then said "Really honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"

    • Apparently I won't be having sex again until sometime after pigs fly over a frozen hell while monkeys fly out her bum.
    • ===================================

    • You forgive me for liking you too much,
    • And I'll forgive you for not liking me enough.

    • You forgive me for missing you so,
    • And I'll forgive you for being so cold.

    • You forgive me for the loud racing of my heart,
    • And I'll forgive you for not hearing it.

    • You forgive me for playing your games,
    • And I'll forgive you for toying with my emotions.

    • You forgive me for finding you so attractive,
    • And I'll forgive you for not noticing.

    • You forgive me for raising you up so high,
    • And I'll forgive you for bringing me down so low.

    • You forgive me for wanting to be with you,
    • And I'll forgive you for avoiding me.

    • You forgive me for being so pathetic,
    • And I'll forgive you for taking advantage of it.

    • You forgive me for not being able to let go,
    • And I'll forgive you for never having latched on.

    • You forgive me for having hopes and dreams,
    • And I'll forgive you for crushing them.

    • Forgiveness brings inner peace.
    • Do we have a deal?
    • ===================================
    • Tough Times Never Last - Tough People Do !
    • ===================================
    • Sometimes you just gotta run away,
    • so you can see who will come after you.

    • Sometimes you just gotta talk quieter,
    • Just to see who's listening.

    • Sometimes you've gotta step up in a fight,
    • But only to see who's standing by your side.

    • Sometimes you've gotta make a wrong decision,
    • Only to see who's there to fix it.

    • And sometimes...
    • You've gotta let go of the one you love,
    • Just to see if they will ever come back...
    • ===================================
    • Never forget what people say to you when they're angry--that's when the truth comes out.
    • ===================================
    • find arms that will hold you at your weakest times, eyes that will see you at your ugliest, and a heart that will love you at your worst, then you will have found true love
    • ===========================
    • "You're going to come across people in your life who will say all the right words at all the right times. But in the end, it's always their actions you should judge them by. It's actions, not words, that matter."
    • ===========================
    • I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet
    • ===========================
    • Its funny how you go through the year day by day but nothing changes, then when you look back

    • ===========================

    • Though no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start now and make a brand new ending.

    • Sometimes someone says something really small, and it just fits right into this empty place in your heart.

    • Turn your face to the sun, and the shadows fall behind you."

    • The less we look with our eyes, the more we will see with our hearts.

    • Everyone's a star and deserves the right to twinkle.

    • I'm not beautiful like you. I'm beautiful like me.

    • Tomorrow is always fresh, with no mistakes in it.
    • ===========================
    • According to Andersen Consulting Worldwide, around 90% of the professionals they tested got all of the questions wrong. But many pre-school children got several correct answers. Andersen Consulting says this conclusively disproves the theory that most professionals have the brains of a four year old.



    • Q1. How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator?




    • ===========================




    • Correct Answer
    • Open the refrigerator, put in the giraffe and close the door.

    • This question tests whether you tend to do simple things in an overly complicated way.



    • Q2. How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator?



    • ===========================





    • Wrong Answer:
    • Open the refrigerator, put in the elephant and close the refrigerator.

    • Correct Answer:
    • Open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, put in the elephant and close the door.

    • This tests your ability to think through the repercussions of your actions.



    • Q3. The Lion King is hosting an animal conference. All the animals attend, except one. Which animal does not attend?





    • ===========================



    • Correct Answer:
    • The elephant, since it is still in the refrigerator.

    • This tests your memory.

    • OK, even if you did not answer the first three questions correctly, you still have one more chance to show your abilities.



    • Q4. There is a river you must cross, but it is inhabited by crocodiles. How do you manage it?



    • ===========================





    • Correct Answer:
    • You swim across. All of the crocodiles are attending the Animal Meeting!

    • This tests whether you learn quickly from your mistakes.
    • ===========================
    • This is a story about four people named Everybody, Somebody, Anybody, and Nobody. There was an important job to be done and Everybody was sure that Somebody would do it. Anybody could have done it, but Nobody did it. Somebody got angry about that, because it was Everybody's job. Everybody thought Anybody could do it, but Nobody realized that Everybody wouldn't do it. It ended up that Everybody blamed Somebody when Nobody did what Anyone could have.
    • ===========================
    • this is not a quote ...it's a poem...a poem about a heart broken

    • YOU MADE ME CRY

    • You made me cry...
    • You tore me apart..
    • You left me in tears..
    • You've shattered my heart..

    • It wasn't your fault..
    • I guess it was me..
    • for love can't be forced..
    • Perhaps we weren't meant to be..

    • It still doesn't help..
    • now that i know..
    • Because for some reason..
    • my heart won't let go..

    • I've tried more than once..
    • to get over you..
    • but you make it so hard..
    • with cute things you do..

    • I thought love was joy..
    • but i've got nothing to gain..
    • just sorrows..,tears..
    • and a little more pain..

    • The day the pain started ..
    • reality came too..
    • It was the day i realized ..

    • ......I'LL NEVER BE WITH YOU.......

    • ===========================

    • Dont piss me off! I'm running out of places to hide the bodies!
    • ===========================
    • Let's discuss right and left. You're RIGHT. I LEFT.
    • ===========================
    • If I had to choose between you and everything in the world, I would choose you cause then i'd have more then everything in the world
    • ===========================
    • i'm out of my mind right now,
    • but you may leave a message
    • ===========================
    • "I guess that's what happens at the end, you start thinking about the beginning."
    • ===========================
    • Imagination is more important than knowledge. Knowledge is limited. Imagination encircles the world.
    • ===========================

    • Pay no attention to those who talk behind your back! It simply means you are two steps ahead!
    • - ?!?
    • ===========================
    • They call it "PMS" because "Mad Cow Disease" was already taken
    • ===========================
    • The Final Analysis

    • People are often unreasonable, illogical and self-centered Forgive them anyway
    • If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives; Be kind anyway.
    • If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true enemies; Succeed anyway.
    • If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you; Be honest and frank anyway.
    • What you spend years building, someone may destroy overnight;Build anyway.
    • If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous;Be happy anyway.
    • The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow;Do good anyway.
    • Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough;Give the world the best you've got anyway.
    • You see, in the final analysis, it is all between you and God;
    • It was never between you and them anyway.
    • ===========================
    • You Had me at Hello.
    • You Hurt me at Goodbye,
    • But,You Lost me the day you didn't look back.

    • ===========================

    • Too many people go through life waiting for things to happen instead of making them happen!
    • ===========================
    • True friendship is when two friends can walk in opposite directions, yet remain side by side
    • ===========================
    • While most are dreaming of success, winners wake-up and work hard to achieve it.
    • ===========================
    • I finally feel ready to say those 3 words i've been longing to tell you....Go To Hell!
    • ===========================
    • "A life without love, is no life at all."
    • - "Ever After: A Cinderella Story"
    • ===========================
    • "When a defining moment comes along, you can do one of two things. Define the moment, or let the moment define you."
    • ===========================

    • The best things in life are:
    • 1.Falling in love for the first time
    • 2.Knowing someone loves you back
    • 3.Turning 16
    • 4.Eating ice cream on a hot summer day with your best friend
    • 5.Singing to a song in the car
    • 6.Road trips
    • 7.Snow days
    • 8.Winter and summer vacations
    • 9.Laughing ‘til it hurts
    • 10.Smiling for no reason
    • 11.Standing in a spring rain
    • 12.Ice skating and falling
    • 13.Dancing to music in your room
    • 14.Baking cookies
    • 15.Going on your first date
    • 16.Getting married
    • 17.Walking on the beach
    • 18.Watching a breath taking sunset
    • 19.Playing your favorite sport just for fun
    • 20.Bowling with friends
    • 21.Seeing a long anticipated movie
    • 22.The first day of a school year
    • 23.The last day of a school year
    • 24.Meeting a new friend
    • 25.Running through sprinklers
    • 26.Camping
    • 27.Waking up on a perfect day with the sun in your face
    • 28.First kiss
    • 29.Swinging on swings at a playground
    • 30.Walking your dog on the weekends
    • 31.Eating junk food
    • 32.Learning to drive for the first time
    • 33.Walking through a park
    • 34.Watching your favorite TV show
    • 35.Getting an A on a paper
    • 36.Thinking about the future
    • 37.Singing to your favorite song
    • 38.Getting baptized, and feeling okay for the first time
    • 39.Going to amusement parks
    • 40.Watching fireworks on the 4th of July
    • 41.Helping someone out
    • 42.Celebrating special occasions
    • 43.Walking barefoot through freshly cut grass
    • 44.Playing hide-and-go-seek
    • 45.Slowing realizing your in love, and knowing that one day you’ll be with that person
    • 46.Having a tragedy happen, but watching it get put back together
    • 47.Talking for hours to your best friend
    • 48.Staring at the stars
    • 49.Living for today
    • 50.Realizing how good life is
    • ===========================
    • JUDGE me & I'll prove you wrong.
    • TELL me what to do & I'll tell you off.
    • SAY I'm not worth it & watch where I end up.
    • CALL me a b!tch & I'll show you one.
    • FU(K me over & I'll do it to you twice as bad.
    • CALL me crazy but you really have no idea.
    • ===========================
    • I'll start letting my guard down when people stop giving me reasons to keep it up.
    • ===========================
    • Pain doesn't hurt if it's all you've ever felt.


    • ===========================
    • NyQuil: The stuffy, sneezy, why-the-hell-is-the-room-spinning medicine.
    • ===========================
    • If you really want to do something, you'll find a way; if you don't, you'll find an excuse.
    • ===========================
    • Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will spend its whole life thinking its stupid
    • ===========================
    • Obsessed is just a word the lazy use to describe dedicated.
    • ===========================
    • Jack Sparrow: No! Not good! Stop! Not good! What are you doing? You've burned all the food, the shade, the RUM!
    • Elizabeth Swann: Yes, the rum is gone.
    • Jack Sparrow: Why is the rum gone?
    • Elizabeth Swann: One, because it is a vile drink that turns even the most respectable men into complete scoundrels. Two, that signal is over a thousand feet high. The entire royal navy is out looking for me; do you really think that there is EVEN the slightest chance that they won't see it?
    • Jack Sparrow: But why is the rum gone?!
    • ===========================
    • I look at the stars and I see you,
    • I look at the moon and I see you,
    • I look at the trees and I see you,
    • Please step aside, you are blocking my view.
    • ===========================

    • The hardest part of dreaming about someone you love...is waking up
    • ===========================
    • Here's to the nights that turned into mornings with the friends that turned into family
    • ===========================
    • 01. Be normal, and the crowd will accept you. Be deranged, and they will make you their leader.
    • 02. Every great man was thought to be insane before he changed the world. Some never changed the world. They were just insane.
    • 03. I don't fail. I succeed at finding what doesn't work.
    • 04. It's always funny until someone gets hurt. Then it's funnier.
    • 05. When in doubt, do it.
    • 06. A crappy life is a great excuse to live a crappy life.
    • 07. Always apologize first--it annoys the crap out of people.
    • 08. "Losing builds character." You know who said that? A loser.
    • 09. Laugh, and the world laughs with you. Cry, and the world laughs harder.
    • 10. There's a one-in six-billion chance that you'll find your soulmate. And that's if they're not dead.
    • 11. Learn from your parents' mistakes. Use birth control.
    • 12. The government favors the most diplomatic language. That's why any letter to them should always start with, "Dear turkeys and foul maggots..."
    • 13. Everyone has an enemy. It's why God gave us baseball bats. Well, He gave us trees, but we knew what He meant.
    • 14. Born free. Taxed to death.
    • 15. I don't suffer from insanity--I enjoy every minute of it.
    • 16. We are brought into this world cold, weak, and helpless. Then it gets worse.
    • 17. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
    • 18. Passion, manners, and 80 ounces of beer will win the heart of any woman. And if it doesn't, you'll be too hammered to remember.
    • 19. If at first you don't succeed, then drag racing isn't for you.
    • 20. Take the time to smell the roses. Sooner or later, you'll inhale a bee and die.
    • 21. No problem is so big and difficult that it can't be blamed on somebody else.
    • 22. Revenge is good. It's what separates us from the animals and the hippies.
    • 23. Whenever you're pissed off, just remember that it's better than being pissed on.
    • 24. Screwed-up people settle fights through violence. Screwed-up people start wars that could kill millions. Normal people settle fights through cookies, cakes, and pies. Normal people are fat.
    • 25. God bless America. But God, please help Canada.
    • ===========================
    • When I think of the last time somebody made me feel good.. the last time somebody made me really laugh... the last time somebody made me happy... I was with you.

    • ===========================

    • You lose yourself... trying to hold on to someone who doesn't care about losing you. #FACT
    • ===========================
    • Don't Do Something Permanently Stupid,Just Because You Are Temporarily Upset..
    • ===========================
    • When I text you, that means I miss you. When I don’t text, that just means I’m waiting for you to miss me.
    • ===========================
    • and i keep praying and praying,
    • hoping that one day i'll pop into your head,
    • and you'll sit back and think about me for a while,
    • and say, "God, i made a mistake.."
    • ===========================
    • “Don’t say we aren't right for each other, the way I see it is… We aren't right for anyone else.”
    • ===========================
    • They Laughed At Me And Asked What Is It That I See In Him?
    • I Smiled Back And Said,
    • "Everything You Don't"
    • ===========================

    • A b*tch is a dog, a dog barks, bark is on a tree, a tree is part of nature, nature is beautiful, so when you call me a b*tch... thanks for the compliment.
    • ===========================
    • Just once, when i say 'oh, i'm fine' i want someone to look me in the eye and say 'Okay. Now tell the truth.'
    • ===========================
    • "And we are going to last, and you want to know how I know? Because I still wake up every morning and the first thing I want to do, is see your face."
    • ===========================
    • Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake.
    • ===========================
    • Dear Heart,,
    • Please stop getting involved in everything. Your job is to pump blood only!

    • ==================================
    • "A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort."

    • ==================================
    • Real Life Sign Posts - :

    • Caution - Water on Road During Rain
    • (Well Naw!)

    • Entrance Only - DO NOT ENTER
    • (Okay so I dont enter at the Entrance?)

    • Do Not Set Yourself On Fire
    • (Oh Dang! I was Just About to!)

    • Warning - Children Left Unattended Will Be Sold to the Circus.
    • (Just what I always Wanted!)

    • Quote from George W. Bush

    • "Its Clearly A Budget, it Has Alot Of Numbers In it."

    • ==================================
    • Three things in life that, once gone, never come back

    • Time : Words : Opportunity

    • Three things in life that may never be lost

    • Peace : Hope : Honesty

    • Three things in life that are most valuable

    • Love : Self-Confidence : Friends

    • Three things in life that are never certain

    • Dreams : Success : Fortune

    • Three things that make a person

    • Hardwork : Sincerity : Commitments

    • Three things in life that can destroy a person
    • Alcohol : Pride : Anger

    • Three things in life that, once lost, hard to build-up

    • Respect : Trust : Friends

    • Three things in life that never fail

    • True Love : Determination : Belief

    • ==================================
    • Sometimes the things we can't change,
    • end up changing us instead.

    • ==================================
    • Even if you were the last one in the race
    • I would still cheer from the sidelines
    • Even if you were to somehow lose your way
    • I would guide you back to my arms

    • Even if you didn't need me anymore
    • Even if you didn't walk back through my door
    • I would still be waiting here for you

    • Even if you didn't look the way you do
    • I would still think you were beautiful
    • And if you don't know by now how I love you
    • Well, it's a love that's unconditional

    • And even if you didn't love me anymore
    • Even if you didn't walk back through my door
    • I would spend my life waiting for you Even if. . .

    • Even if you lost faith in yourself
    • I would still be a believer
    • And I'd remind you you're like nobody else
    • And I would stand by you forever

    • Even if you didn't love me anymore
    • Even if you didn't walk back through my door I would spend my life in love with you

    • ==================================

    • I bet you'll never remember what i'll never forget

    • ==================================
    • If you are under the age of 12...you shouldnt read this. Just because you were born in '97 doesn't mean you're a 90's kid.
    • It's not like you could remember the original Simpsons. I am sorry but three conscious years of the 90's just wont cut it.

    • You're a 90's kid if:

    • You can finish this [ice ice _ _ _ _ ]

    • You remember watching:
    • -Doug
    • -Ren & Stimpy
    • -Pinky and the Brain
    • -AAAAAAAH Real Monsters!
    • -Rockos modern Life.

    • You've ever ended a sentence with the word "PSYCHE!"

    • You just cant resist finishing this . . . "Iiiiiiin west philidelphia born and raised . . ."

    • You remember:
    • -TGIF
    • -Step by Step
    • -Family Matters
    • -Dinosaurs
    • -Boy Meets World.

    • You remember when it was actually worth getting up early
    • on a Saturday to watch cartoons.

    • You got super excited when it was Oregon Trail day in computer class at school.

    • You remember reading "Goosebumps"

    • You took plastic cartoon lunch boxes to school.

    • You said "NOT" after (almost) every sentence . . . not

    • when everyhting was settled by:
    • -rock paper scissors or
    • -bubble gum bubble gum in a dish or
    • -daddy had a donkey inky binky bonky.

    • when cops and robbers was a daily activity.

    • when we played Hide and go seek until our legs grew numb.

    • You used to listen to the radio all day long just to record your FAVORITE song of ALL time.

    • "Where in the World is Carmen San Diego?" was both a game and a TV game show.

    • Captain Planet. He's a Hero.

    • You knew that Kimberly, the pink ranger, and Tommy, the green ranger, were meant to be together.

    • You remember when Super Nintendos and Sega Genesis became popular.

    • You remember watching Home Alone 1, 2 , and 3 . . . and tried to pull the pranks on "intruders"

    • You remember watching:
    • -The Magic School Bus
    • -Wishbone
    • -Reading Rainbow on PBS.

    • You remember when Yo-Yos were cool.

    • You remember those Where's Waldo books.

    • You remember eating Warheads.

    • You remember watching:
    • -the 1st Batman
    • -Aladdin
    • -Ninja Turtles
    • -3 Ninjas movies.

    • You remember Ring Pops.

    • You remember drinking Surge, and Tang.

    • If you remember when every thing was "da BOMB!"

    • When they made the new lunchables so that you could make pizza AND tacos.

    • You remember boom boxes vs. cd players.

    • Making those little paper fortune cookie things, and then predicting your life with them.

    • You played and/or collected "Pogs" :)

    • one word. . . Furbies.

    • You haven't always had a computer, and it was cool to have the internet.
    • And Windows 95 was the best.

    • You watched the original cartoons of Rugrats, Power Rangers, and Ninja Turtles.

    • Michael Jordan was a king.

    • YIKES pencils and erasers were the stuff!

    • You remember when the new Beanie Babies and Talking Elmo were always sold out
    • You collected those Beanie Babies.

    • Carebears

    • Gak was the coolest stuff invented.

    • The old dollar bills.
    • Silver dollars, which were cool to have.

    • You remember a time before the WB.

    • You collected all the Troll dolls

    • If you even know what an original walkman is.

    • You remember wanting to sit on the orange Nickelodeon couch.

    • You've gotten creeped out by "Are You Afraid of the Dark?"

    • You know the Macarena by heart.

    • "Talk to the hand" . . . enough said

    • [Add to your favorites if you remember the 90's]

    • ==================================
    • Sometimes you have to forget what's gone, appreciate what still remains, and look forward to what's coming next. Â

    • ==================================
    • A lady came up to me on the street and pointed to my suede jacket. "You know a cow was murdered for that jacket?" she sneered. I replied in a psychotic tone, "I didn't know there were any witnesses. Now I'll have to kill you too."


    • ==================================

    • Birdie, birdie, in the sky, why'd you do that in my eye? Looks like sugar, tastes like sap. OMG! IT'S BIRDIE CRAP!"

    • ==================================
    • Some people let their beauty show, because they want the world to see it. Others hide their beauty because they want the world to see something more.

    • ==================================
    • You can`t change what people are.. without destroying who they were..

    • ==================================
    • A 70 year old man was having his annual checkup and the doctor asked him how he was feeling. "I've never been better!" he boasted. "I've got an eighteen year old bride who's pregnant and having my child! What do you think about that?"

    • The doctor considered this for a moment, then said, "Let me tell you a story. I knew a guy who was an avid hunter. He never missed a season. But one day went out in a bit of a hurry and he accidentally grabbed his umbrella instead of his gun."

    • The doctor continued, "So he was in the woods and suddenly a grizzly bear appeared in front of him! He raised up his umbrella, pointed it at the bear and squeezed the handle." "And do you know what happened?" the doctor queried.

    • Dumbfounded, the old man replied "No".

    • The doctor continued, "The bear dropped dead in front of him!"

    • "That's impossible!" exclaimed the old man.

    • "Someone else must have shot that bear."

    • "That's kind of what I'm getting at..." replied the doctor.

    • ==================================
    • You will never realize how much you care about a guy until the thought of him being with someone else is enough to break your heart.

    • ==================================
    • Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoetnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be at the rghit pclae. The rset can be a total mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe

    • ==================================

    • During class, a teacher trying to teach good manners, asks the students:

    • "Michael, if you were on a date, having supper with a nice young lady, how would you tell her that you have to go to the bathroom?"

    • "Just a minute, I have to go pee."

    • "That would be rude and impolite! ! ! What about you Peter, how would you say it?"

    • "I am sorry , but I really need to go to the bathroom, I'll be right back."

    • "That's better, but it's still not very nice to say the word bathroom at the dinner table.

    • And you Pepito, are you able to use your intelligence for once and show us your good manners?"

    • "I would say: 'Darling, may I please be excused for a moment? I have to shake hands with a very dear friend of mine, whom I hope you'll get to meet after supper."

    • ==================================
    • You'll never know how strong you are
    • until being strong is the only option you have.

    • ==================================
    • Sometimes the people who hurt us the most are people who were hurt more than us.

    • ==================================
    • Yes, I know your wanted by many, but just think about it...you know I'll always be the girl who loved you more, I'll always be the girl who was there for you always, I'll always be the girl you feel the most comfortable with, but I can promise you this... I won't always be the girl who waited their whole life to try and make you realize it.

    • ==================================


    • Sometimes I wonder why I fell in love with you in the first place, and continue to love you even after all the pain. And then you smile at me and I realize why; without you, I can't breathe.

    • ==================================
    • Here's to the crap we talk, the guys we stalk, the way we shop, the laughs we can't stop, the gossip we spill, the looks that could kill, to havin' each others back, to the next morning gettin' the facts, downin' the beers and spillin' the tears...we'll stay together through the years!

    • ==================================
    • Life is too short, grudges are a waste of perfect happiness. Laugh when you can, apologize when you should, and let go of what you can't change. Love deeply and forgive quickly. Take chances, give everything. Have no regrets. Life is too short to be unhappy you have to take the good with the bad. Smile when you're sad, love what you got, and always remember what you had. Always forgive, but never forget. Learn from your mistakes, but never regret people. Change and things go wrong, but always remember life goes on.

    • ==================================
    • God made Coke, God made Pepsi, God made (Name) so darn sexy

    • ==================================
    • I'de rather spend one minute holding you,than to live the rest of my life knowing I missed my chance.

    • ==================================
    • >> You can't read this and stay in a bad mood
    • >>
    • >>
    • >> 1. How Do You Catch a Unique Rabbit?
    • >> Unique Up On It.
    • >>
    • >> 2. How Do You Catch a Tame Rabbit?
    • >> Tame Way, Unique Up On It.
    • >>
    • >> 3. How Do Crazy People Go Through The Forest?
    • >> They Take The Psycho Path
    • >>
    • >> 4. How Do You Get Holy Water?
    • >> You Boil The Hell Out Of It.
    • >>
    • >> 5. What Do Fish Say When They Hit a Concrete Wall?
    • >> Dam!
    • >>
    • >> 6. What Do Eskimos Get From Sitting On The Ice too Long?
    • >> Polaroids
    • >>
    • >> 7. What Do You Call a Boomerang That Doesn't work?
    • >> A Stick
    • >>
    • >> 8. What Do You Call Cheese That Isn't Yours?
    • >> Nacho Cheese.
    • >>
    • >> 9. What Do You Call Santa's Helpers?
    • >> Subordinate Clauses.
    • >>
    • >> 10. What Do You Call Four Bullfighters In Quicksand?
    • >> Quattro Sinko..
    • >>
    • >> 11. What Do You Get From a Pampered Cow?
    • >> Spoiled Milk.
    • >>
    • >> 12. What Do You Get When You Cross a Snowman With a Vampire?
    • >> Frostbite.
    • >>
    • >> 13. What Lies At The Bottom Of The Ocean And Twitches?
    • >> A Nervous Wreck.
    • >>
    • >> 14. What's The Difference Between Roast Beef And Pea Soup?
    • >> Anyone Can Roast Beef.
    • >>
    • >> 15. Where Do You Find a Dog With No Legs?
    • >> Right Where You Left Him.
    • >>
    • >> 16. Why Do Gorillas Have Big Nostrils?
    • >> Because They Have Big Fingers.
    • >>
    • >> 17. Why Don't Blind People Like To Sky Dive?
    • >> Because It Scares The Dog.
    • >>
    • >> 18. What Kind Of Coffee Was Served On The Titanic?
    • >> Sanka.
    • >>
    • >> 19. What Is The Difference Between a Harley And a Hoover
    • ?
    • >> The Location Of The Dirt Bag.
    • >>
    • >> 20. Why Did Pilgrims' Pants Always Fall Down?
    • >> Because They Wore Their Belt Buckle On Their Hat.
    • >>
    • >> 21. What's The Difference Between a Bad Golfer And a Bad
    • >> Skydiver?
    • >> A Bad Golfer Goes, Whack, Dang!
    • >> A Bad Skydiver Goes Dang! Whack.
    • >>
    • >> 22. How Are a Texas Tornado And a Tennessee Divorce The
    • Same?
    • >> Somebody's Gonna Lose A Trailer


    • ==================================

    • You dont realize how hard the road to letting go is, until you are the one traveling it.

    • ==================================
    • People don't play sports because its fun. Ask any athlete, most of them hate it, but they couldn't imagine their life with out it. Its part of them, the love/hate relationship. Its what they live for. They live for the practices, parties, cheers, long bus rides, invitationals, countless pairs of different types of shoes, water, Gatorade, & coaches you hate but appreciate. They live for the way it feels when they beat the other team, and knowing those two extra sprints they ran in practice were worth it. They live for the way they become a family with their team, they live for the countless songs they sing in their head while training all those hours. They live for the competition, they live for the friends, the practices, the memories, the pain, its who they are. It's who we are.

    • ==================================
    • Distance never separates two hearts that really care, for our memories span the miles and in seconds we are there. But whenever I start feeling sad, because I miss you, I remind myself how lucky I am to have someone so special to miss

    • ==================================
    • A friend is not the one that will kill for you, but the one that will die for you



    • ==================================
    • If I had a wish...

    • I would wish for you to be the first thing I see in the morning right after I open my eyes,
    • the only person to think about throughout the day,
    • and the last face to eye just before I fall asleep in the night..

    • Then dreams would become superfluous, because my life would be completely blessed...

    • ==================================
    • Friends teach you what you WANT to know. Enemies teach you what you NEED to know.

    • ==================================
    • Love doesn't walk away, people do.

    • ==================================
    • The only limitations you will ever have are the ones you put on yourself.

    • ==================================
    • IF I HAD MY LIFE TO LIVE OVER - by Erma Bombeck(written after she found out she was dying from cancer).

    • I would have gone to bed when I was sick instead of pretending the earth would go into a holding pattern if I weren't there for the day.

    • I would have burned the pink candle sculpted like a rose before it melted in storage.

    • I would have talked less and listened more.

    • I would have invited friends over to dinner even if the carpet was stained, or the sofa faded.

    • I would have eaten the popcorn in the 'good' living room and worried much less about the dirt when someone wanted to light a fire in the fireplace.

    • I would have taken the time to listen to my grandfather ramble about his youth.

    • I would have shared more of the responsibility carried by my husband.

    • I would never have insisted the car windows be rolled up on a summer day because my hair had just been teased and sprayed.

    • I would have sat on the lawn with my grass stains.

    • I would have cried and laughed less while watching television and more while watching life.

    • I would never have bought anything just because it was practical, wouldn't show soil, or was guaranteed to last a lifetime.

    • Instead of wishing away nine months of pregnancy, I'd have cherished every moment and realized that the wonderment growing inside me was the only chance in life to assist God in a miracle.

    • When my kids kissed me impetuously, I would never have said, "Later. Now go get washed up for dinner." There would have been more "I love you's." More "I'm sorry's."

    • But mostly, given another shot at life, I would seize every minute...look at it and really see it .. live it .and never give it back. Stop sweating the small stuff.

    • Don't worry about who doesn't like you, who has more, or who's doing what.

    • Instead, let's cherish the relationships we have with those who do love us.

    • Let's think about what God HAS blessed us with. And what we are doing each day to promote ourselves mentally, physically, emotionally. I hope you all have a blessed day.

    • Beautiful Women's Month

    • Age 3: She looks at herself and sees a Queen.

    • Age 8: She looks at herself and sees Cinderella.

    • Age 15: She looks at herself and sees an Ugly Sister (Mum I can't go to school looking like this!)

    • Age 20: She looks at herself and sees "too fat/too thin, too short/too tall, too straight/too curly"- but decides she's going out anyway.

    • Age 30: She looks at herself and sees "too fat/too thin, too short/too tall, too straight/too curly" - but decides she doesn't have time to fix it, so she's going out anyway.

    • Age 40: She looks at herself and sees "clean" and goes out anyway.

    • Age 50: She looks at herself and sees "I am" and goes wherever she wants to go.

    • Age 60: She looks at herself and reminds herself of all the people who can't even see themselves in the mirror anymore. Goes out and conquers the world.

    • Age 70: She looks at herself &sees wisdom, laughter and ability, goes out and enjoys life.

    • Age 80: Doesn't bother to look. Just puts on a purple hat and goes out to have fun with the world.

    • ==================================
    • It takes a strong person to say sorry, and an ever stronger person to forgive.

    • ==================================

    • I'm not supposed to love you
    • I'm not supposed to care
    • I'm not supposed to live my life
    • Wishing you were there
    • I'm not supposed to wonder
    • Where you are or what you do
    • I'm sorry, I can't help myself
    • cause I'm in love with you!

    • ==================================
    • "The brave do not live forever but the cautious do not live at all."

    • ==================================
    • smiling is my favorite. you make me smile. that makes you my favorite ¢¾

    • ==================================
    • i'm just a girl
    • whose hair is never right
    • who more then once has fallen on her face
    • who can't stop laughing at something that happened yesterday
    • who cries because sometimes nothing is right
    • but sometimes,
    • i'm just a girl
    • who can't stop smiling because for that moment
    • everything is perfect.



    • ==================================

    • A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out.

    • ==================================
    • After a while you learn the difference between holding a hand & falling in love. You begin to learn that kisses don't always mean something, promises can be broken just as quickly as they are made and sometimes goodbyes really are forever...

    • ==================================
    • It's not about the length, it's not about this size, it's about how many times you can make it rise!

    • ==================================
    • The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.

    • ==================================
    • Rather fail with honor than succeed by fraud.

    • ==================================
    • So many *memories*
    • so many StUpId fights
    • so many inside .j.o.k.e.s. and the CRAZIEST nights…
    • everything crazy that I do
    • always seems to happen when im with [(YOU)]

    • ==================================

    • So which condom would you use ?
    • NIKE CONDOMS- just do it
    • TOYOTA CONDOMS.-oh ¡¡ what a feeling
    • DIET PEPSI CONDOMS- once you pop, you cannot stop.
    • MENTOS CONDOMS.- the freshmaker
    • FLINSTONE`S VITAMIN CONDOMS.- one million strong and growing
    • SECRET CONDOMS.-strong enough for a man, but pH balanced for a woman
    • MACINTOSH CONDOMS.- it does more, it costs less, it`s that simple.
    • FORD CONDOMS .- the best never rest
    • CHEVY CONDOMS.- like a rock
    • DIAL CONDOMS.- aren`t you glad you use them ? Don`t you wish everybody did ?
    • NEW YORK LOTTO CONDOMS.- cause hey-- you never know.
    • CALIFORNIA LOTTO CONDOMS.- who`s next ?
    • AVIS CONDOMS .- trying harder than ever
    • KFC CONDOMS.- finger licking good
    • COCA COLA CONDOMS.- always the real thing
    • LAYS CONDOMS.- betcha can`t have just one
    • CAMPBELLS`SOUP CONDOMS.- Mmm,mmm,good.
    • GENERAL ELECTRIC CONDOMS.- we bring good things to life
    • AT&T CONDOMS.- reach out and touch someone.
    • BOUNTY CONDOMS.- the quicker picker upper
    • ENERGIZER CONDOMS.- it keeps going and going and going
    • M&M CONDOMS.- it melts on your mouth, not in your hands¡
    • TACO BELL CONDOMS.- get some; make a run for the border
    • MCI CONDOMS.- for the friends and family
    • DOUBLEMINT CONDOMS.- double your pleasure, double your fun ¡
    • THE SEARS LATEX CONDOMS.- one coat is good for the entire winter
    • DELTA AIRLINES TRAVEL PACK CONDOMS.- delta is ready when you are
    • UNITED AIRLINES TRAVEL PACK CONDOMS.-fly united
    • THE STAR TREK CONDOMS.- to boldly go where no man has gone before ...

    • ==================================
    • To be old and wise, you must first have to be young and stupid

    • ==================================
    • I couldn't sleep last night because I know that it's over between us. I'm not bitter any more, because I know that what we had was real. And if in some distant place in the future we see each other in our new lives, I'll smile at you with joy and remember how we spent the summer beneath the trees, learning from each other and growing in love. The best love is the kind that awakens the soul and makes us reach for more, that plants a fire in our hearts and brings peace to our minds, and that's what you've given me

    • ==================================
    • The prettiest smiles hide the deepest secrets. The prettiest eyes have cried the most tears and the kindest hearts have felt the most pain.



    • ==================================
    • An eye for an eye" leaves the whole world blind.

    • ==================================
    • sometimes all you can do is walk away, hide your tears, and just pretend you're okay

    • ==================================
    • Every man needs a woman when his life is a mess, because just like the game of chess, the queen protects the king

    • ==================================
    • Yes...
    • I'm a girl
    • I push doors that clearly say PULL
    • I laugh harder when I try to explain why I'm laughing.
    • I walk into a room and [forget] why I was there
    • I count on my fingers in math class
    • I try to accomplish things with time still on the microwave
    • I wish for Love every 11:11,
    • [I][Lie][Sometimes] to hide the pain
    • I say its a long story when it's really not
    • I fall in love too hard too fast
    • all I want is to kiss you in the rain

    • ==================================
    • Ponderisms


    • Can you cry under water?

    • How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

    • Why do you have to "put your two cents in".. But it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to?

    • Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?

    • Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

    • What disease did cured ham actually have?

    • How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

    • Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?

    • If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?


    • Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?

    • Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

    • Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway.

    • Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?

    • Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

    • If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?

    • Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane ?

    • If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?

    • Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!

    • If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?

    • If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?

    • If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

    • Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

    • Why did you just try singing the two songs above?

    • Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?

    • Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

    • Do you ever wonder why you ever read this quote in the first place??

    • ==================================
    • Walking with a friend in the dark is better than walking alone in the light.

    • ==================================

    • How can you forget someone who gave you so much to remember?

    • ==================================
    • I cant play stupid with you, youre too good at it.

    • ==================================
    • Calling someone fat doesnt make you any skinnier. Calling someone stupid doesnt make you any smarter. All you can do in life is try and solve the problem in front of you.

    • ==================================
    • For every girl with a broken heart is a boy with a glue gun.



    • ==================================

    • The biggest mistake Ive made in my life is letting people stay in my life far longer than they deserve.

    • ==================================
    • Our tears are what happens when it rains deep inside our hearts and we cannot hold the rain any longer.

    • ==================================
    • Your prince will come. He may not be riding a white horse, or have a big castle.
    • But he will want you, and only you, and that will be better than any fairytale

    • ==================================
    • I keep thinking of how much I love talking to you..how good
    • you look when you smile.. how much i love your laugh. I
    • daydream about you off and on, replaying pieces of our
    • conversation, laughing at funny things that you said or did.
    • I've memorized your face & the way that you look at me..
    • I catch myself smiling again at what I imagine.. I wonder
    • what will happen the next time we are together, & even
    • though neither of us know what the future holds, i know one
    • thing for sure; you're the best thing that ever happened to me

    • && I love you.

    • ==================================
    • If you have made mistakes, even serious ones, there is always another chance for you. What we call failure is not the falling down, but the staying down.

    • ==================================
    • It is only with the heart that one can see rightly. What is essential is invisible to the eye.

    • ==================================

    • "It isn't what you have, or who you are, or where you are, or what you are doing that makes you happy or unhappy. It is what you think about."

    • ==================================
    • You said you never wanted to see me hurt. Did you close your eyes then when I cried?

    • ==================================
    • Sometimes the person you fall for isn't ready to catch you.

    • ==================================
    • Love all, trust a few.


    • ==================================
    • if someone has enough courage to ask you a question seriously, then you should be brave enough to answer truthfully

    • ==================================
    • Never regret anything because at one time it was what you wanted.

    • ==================================
    • But enough about me, let's talk about you... What do you think of me?

    • ==================================
    • Death leaves a heartache no one can heal, love leaves a memory no one can steal.

    • ==================================
    • Loyalty

    • Look not for beauty
    • Nor whiteness of skin
    • But look for the heart
    • That is loyal within

    • For beauty may fade
    • And white skin grow old
    • But the heart that is loyal
    • Will never grow cold

    • ==================================
    • Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake whole relationships.

    • ==================================

    • *Wouldn't life be perfect if sweatpants were sexy,
    • Monday's were fun,
    • Junk food was good for you,
    • homework didn't exist,
    • girls weren't drama queens,
    • guys weren't losers,
    • and saying goodbye only meant until tomorrow.*

    • ==================================
    • How can you stop thinking of someone if they are your first thought in the morning, your last thought at night...
    • and the only person in your dreams?

    • ==================================
    • Phone conversation of a couple:
    • -girl:
    • I love you.

    • - Boy:
    • Yeah I know everyone does!

    • -Girl:
    • Really?

    • - Boy:
    • Yeah...every one of my friends that are girls tell me that everyday.

    • - Girl:
    • Oh...but am I only your friend?

    • - Boy:
    • No...you're my girlfriend...why?

    • - Girl:
    • So when I say I love you I really do mean it.

    • - Boy:
    • Yeah I know you do mean it...its just that you dont need to tell me that you love me anymore cuz I know youve love me since the day we been together and i love you more each and everyday.

    • - Girl:
    • ......

    • - Boy:
    • So wanna go somewhere to!night for our 7th anniversary?

    • - Girl:
    • Yeah...where?

    • - Boy:
    • I dont know...maybe movie then dinner?

    • -Girl:
    • Ok.

    • - Boy:
    • Ill pick you up after I get off and get ready ok?

    • - Girl:
    • Ok. What time do you get off?

    • - Boy:
    • In 2 hours and then I gotta go home and yeah get ready which takes about 15-20 minutes...

    • -Girl:
    • hey...I thought you didnt have work today...

    • - Boy:
    • One of my co-workers called in sick.

    • - Girl:
    • Oh okay! So ill see !you around 7:30 then?

    • - Boy:
    • Yeah! and babe?

    • - Girl:
    • Yeah?

    • - Boy:
    • I love you.

    • - Girl:
    • I love you too!

    • - Boy:
    • Ok my manager is like looking at me so yeah.... i gotta go.

    • - Girl:
    • Ok bye.

    • - Boy:
    • Bye.

    • ****************************

    • 2 hours later...

    • The guy drives to his girlfriends house and walks up to the door and rings bell.

    • - Girl:
    • Hey! (gives a kiss to her boyfriend)

    • - Boy:
    • Wassup...you ready?

    • - Girl:
    • Um...wait...let me ge!t my bag and we can go ok?

    • - Boy:
    • Ok.

    • They both watched !a movie and ate dinner...once they were done eating they head back to the car but before she got into the car...

    • - Boy:
    • Wait! Can I blindfold you?

    • - Girl:
    • Why??!

    • - Boy:
    • Its a surprise.

    • - Girl:
    • What kind of surprise?

    • - Boy:
    • A big one.

    • - Girl:
    • Okay but only if you promise! me that you will hold my hand while we're driving.

    • - Boy:
    • I promise.

    • - Girl:
    • Ok blindfold me...

    • So they drove off...........and then they stopped.

    • - Boy:
    • Ok we're here!

    • -Girl:
    • Where?

    • - Boy:
    • Wait let me walk you to the place!

    • - Girl:
    • What place?

    • - Boy:
    • Somewhere! (and gives a ki!
    • - Girl:
    • Baby!...

    • The boy walks he!r to the place.

    • - Boy:
    • Ok...let me take the blindfold off.

    • - Girl:
    • Where are we?

    • He takes it off her and she opens her eyes and sees the view of the city and at that same spot...that's where he first asked her to be his girlfriend....

    • - Girl:
    • Omg...(tears come down)

    • - Boy:
    • Why are you crying?

    • - Girl:
    • This is where you first asked me out...

    • - Boy:
    • What are you doing the rest of your life? (he asked on his knees and after he says that...behind him...in the air it says "Wil!l you marry me?" in fireworks)

    • - Girl:
    • (tears come down faster)

    • - Boy:
    • I wasnt at work w!hen you called me...I was planning this whole thing!

    • - Girl:
    • Get up!

    • - Boy:
    • Yeah?

    • - Girl:
    • (kisses him)

    • - Boy:
    • Is that a yes or a no?

    • - Girl:
    • Yes.
    • how cute! :)

    • ==================================
    • Sometimes I wonder if little kids have it easy. Scrapes from bike riding are the worst pain, the biggest concern is that recess isn't long enough, mommy or daddy can make anything all better, anyone of the opposite sex is yucky or !has cooties, two kids of the same sex can hold hands and are just cute and nothing else, ‘good-bye’ means ‘see you tomorrow’, the worst fighting you do is over wh!o gets the red crayon, if you hang out together one recess automatically you’re! one was afraid to say ‘I Love You’.



    • I'm not totally useless! I can be used as a bad example

    • ==================================
    • "speak your mind, even if your voice shakes"

    • ==================================
    • I'm the girl who will put her head on your shoulder, not because she's sleepy, but because she wants to be closer to you...

    • I'm the girl who likes to be kissed in the rain, more than inside your bedroom or in an expensive resturant...

    • I'm the girl who says,"ok, but you owe me..." jokingly not because I actually want something, but because it means I get! to spend more time with you...

    • I'm the girl you can take absolutely anywhere and I will (or at least try to) have fun because it means I am spending time with you...

    • I'm the girl who is incredibly picky, but! when I find someone I like I want to spend the whole night curled up in th!eir arms...

    • I'm the girl who never forgets all the sweet little things you do for me...

    • I'm the girl who actually keeps her body parts in her clothing in public... most of the time

    • I'm the girl who never gives up hope even when I tell others I have...

    • I'm the girl who once I let you into my heart, there's always a place there with your name on it. And even if we spend time apart, I'm the girl who never forgets you.

    • I'm the girl who loves to end a hug with a kiss...

    • I'm the girl who you can talk to about anything...

    • I'm the girl who laughs at your jokes...

    • I'm the girl who will have many inside jokes with you and will remember each one...

    • I'm the girl who will brag about you to all of my friends...

    • I'm the girl who will listen to you talk...

    • I'm the girl who really does want to be friends after a break up...

    • I'm the girl who loves it w!hen you hug me for no apparent reason...

    • I'm the girl who loves it when you hug me from behind or kiss me on the forehead..

    • I'm the girl who loves y!ou for you, and doesn't care what other people say about us...

    • I'm the girl who loves it when you introduce me to your friends as your girlfriend...

    • I'm the girl who loves the feeling when you take me by the hand without saying a word...

    • ==================================
    • Falling in love is like jumping off a building: Your brain tells you, "It's not a good idea" while your heart tells you, "you can fly!"

    • ==================================
    • Growing old is mandatory, growing up is optional.

    • ==================================
    • S T U P I D = Smart Talented Unique Person In Demand

    • ==================================

    • i'll stop loving you..
    • when diamonds dont sparkle
    • and flowers cease to grow
    • when thunder doesnt echo
    • and rivers !no longer flow
    • when hearts no longer wonder
    • and hands arent held
    • when smiles are only memories
    • and hope is n!ever felt
    • when trees no longer blossom
    • and the stars refuse to shine
    • when autu!mn has no falling leaves
    • and winter never dies
    • when time no longer has tomorrows
    • and rainbows have no hue
    • when god alone commands me...
    • thats when i'll stop loving you

    • ==================================
    • Cuts, scars, bruises, lies and fake laughs. Fake smiles, constant cries and a horrifying past. Promises broken, lost loves.. and the !“trust me” that didn’t last.

    • ==================================
    • Never trust someone who lies to you.
    • Never lie to someon!e who trusts you.

    • ==================================
    • I never apologize.
    • I'm sorry, but that's just the way I am.


    • ==================================

    • It doesn't matter how long you have known him.....if he's got you smiling, starting from day one.....don't lose him...

    • ==================================
    • I'm selfish, impatient, and a little insecure. i make mistakes, i am out of control,and at times hard to control, but if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hel don't deserve me at my best

    • ==================================
    • You laugh at me cuz I'm d!ifferent. I laugh at you cuz you're all the same.

    • ==================================
    • If you look inside a girl's heart
    • and see how much she cries
    • you will find secrets,
    • best friends a!nd lies
    • but what you'll see the most
    • is how hard it is to stay strong
    • when nothing is right
    • and everything is wrong

    • ==================================
    • "To know that you know, and to know that you don't know - that is real wisdom."

    • ==================================
    • when you're sad and you feel like you need to cry, watch a really sad movie. that way you can cry as much as you want, but when people ask you why you're crying, you can blame it all on the movie.

    • ==================================

    • There's a point in every true friendship, where friends stop being friends and become sisters.

    • ==================================
    • I know what its like to want to die
    • How it hurt!s to smile
    • How you try to fit in but u cant
    • How you hurt !yourself on the outside
    • to try and kill the pain on the inside

    • ========!==========================
    • My door is always open for YOU...
    • so feel free to leave!
    • ==================================
    • I'd rather be hated for who I am, rather than loved for who I am not.
    • =================================
    • Don't listen or think about anything other people say about you. Just live your life and prove them wrong.
    • ==================================
    • Take life with a grain of salt.....a slice of lime, and a shot of tequila
    • ==================================
    • what is better...a lie that draws a smile...or a truth that draws a tear???
    • ==================================
    • 2 50 Cent cds = $37
    • 1 FUBU Sh!irt = $42
    • 1 Pair of the new M. Jordan shoes = $175
    • 1 *Bling-Blingin!g* Platinum Chain = $240
    • Realizing you're white = Priceless
    • ==================================
    • When you put on that jersey, the name on the front is more important then the name on the back.
    • ==================================
    • A part of you has grown in me. And so you see, it's you and me together forever and never apart, maybe in distance, but never in heart.
    • ==================================

    • When someone is telling you that !you can't do something, don't quit, just smile and say "I'll show you".
    • ==================================
    • When you really care abo!ut someone, their mistakes never change our feelings because it is the mind that gets angry but the heart that still cares.
    • ==================================
    • Great Store Signs:
    • *On Maternity Room door:"Push,Push,Push"

    • *At an Optommetrist's Office: "If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place."

    • *Outside a Muffler Shop: "No appointment necessary. We'll hear you coming.

    • *At the Electric Company: "We will be delighted if you send in your bill. However if you don't,you will be."

    • *Outside a Radiators Repair Shop: "Best place in town to take a leak."

    • *In a non-smoking area: "If we see !you smoking we will assume you are on fire and take appropiate action."
    • ==================================
    • "And in the end, the love you take
    • Is equal to the love! you make..."

    • If I was told we were going to live for a 100 days, I'd like to live 99 so I don't have to live without you.
    • ==================================
    • "Death must be great, because no one has come back from it"
    • ==================================
    • There is hot sex, fast sex, group sex, same sex, leather sex and phone sex but for people with a face like yours there's mast!urbation
    • ==================================
    • It's hard to wait around for something that you know might never happen ,but it's even harder to give up, whe!n you know it's everything you want.
    • ==================================
    • "Run when you can, walk when you have to, crawl if you must, just never give up."
    • ==================================
    • You can never really get over some one because after you fall in love with them, they will always be a part of you, the best part.
    • ==================================

    • I asked for strength and God gave me difficulties to make me strong.
    • I asked for wisdom and God gave me problems to solve.
    • I asked for prosperity and God gave me brawn and brains to work.
    • I asked for cour!age and God gave me dangers to overcome.
    • I asked for patien!ce and God placed me in situations where I was forced to wait.
    • I asked for love and God g!ave me troubled people to help.
    • I asked for favors and God gave me opportunities.
    • I asked for everything so I could enjoy life.
    • Instead, He gave me life so I could enjoy everything.
    • I received nothing I want!ed, I received everything I needed.
    • ==================================
    • Rule 1:Life is not fair-get used to it

    • Rule 2:The world won't care about your self-esteem. The world will expect you to accomplish something BEFORE you feel good about yourself.

    • Rule 3:You will NOT make $40,000 a year right out of high school. You won't be a vice president with a car phone until you earn both.

    • Rule 4:If you think your teacher is tough, wait till you get a boss.

    • Rule 5:Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your grandparents had a different word for burger flipping--they
    • called it opportunity.

    • Rule 6:If you mess up, it's not your parent's fault, so don't whine about your mistakes, learn from them.

    • Rule 7:Before you were born, your parents weren't as boring as they are now. They got that way from paying your bi!lls, cleaning your clothes and listening to you talk about how cool you are. So before you save the rainforest from the parasites of your parent's generation, try delousing the closet in your own room.

    • Rule 8:Your school may have done away with winners and losers, but life has not. In some schools, they have abol!ished failing grades and they'll give you the test as many times as you want to get the right answer. This doesn't bear the slightest resemblance to ANYTHING in real life.

    • Rule 9:Life is not divided into semesters. You don't get summers off and very few employers are interested in helping you find yourself. Do that on your own time.

    • Rule 10:Television is NOT real life. In real life people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.

    • Rule 11:Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one.
    • ==================================
    • A person doesn't have to be perfect to be exactly what you need.
    • ==================================
    • find something worth dyi!ng for, then live for it.

    • ==================================


    • Behind every g!reat man is a woman rolling her eyes
    • ==================================
    • ==================================
    • "Some of the most significant moments in your life happen without you even knowing it."
    • ==================================
    • Do you ever just get that feeling where you don't want to talk to anybody?
    • You don’t want to smile, & you don't want to fake being happy.
    • But at the same time, you don't know exactly what is wrong either.
    • there isn't a way to explain it to someone who doesn't already understand.
    • if you could want anything in the world it would be to be alone.
    • people have stopped !being comforting..& being alone never was.
    • at least when your alone no one constantly asks you what is wrong
    • & there isn't anyone! who wont take 'I don't no' for an answer.
    • You feel the way you do just BECAUSE.
    • You hope the feeling will pass soon & that you will be able to be yourself again,
    • but until then all yo!u can do is wait..
    • ==================================
    • I'm skinny, so I must be bulemic or anorexic.

    • I'm emo, so I must cut my wrists.

    • I'm black, so I must be on welfare.

    • I'm Hispanic, so I must be dirty.

    • I'm Asian, so I must love math.

    • I'm Jewish, so I must be greedy.

    • I'm gay, so I must !have AIDS.

    • I'm a lesbian, so I must live in San Francisco.

    • I'm Arab, so I must be a terrorist.

    • I'm a single mo!m, so I must be a slut.

    • I'm old, so I probably cant drive.

    • I'm overweight, so I most likely have a problem with self control.

    • I'm religious, so I must sho!!ve my beliefs down your throat.

    • I'm republican, so I must! not care about poor people.

    • I'm democrat, so I must not believe in being responsible.

    • I'm from the south, so I must be white trash.

    • I take anti-deppress!ants, so I must be crazy.

    • I'm a man, so I only want to get into your pants.

    • I'm a woman, so I must think irrationally.

    • I'm a Christian, so I must be a boring prude.

    • I'm Irish, so I must have a bad drinking problem.

    • I'm Indian, so I must own a 7-11.

    • I'm Native American, so I must dance around a fire screaming like a savage, or be apart of a gaming casino.

    • I dont live with my child, so I must be a dead beat dad.

    • I have never had sex, so i must be a prude.

    • I'm a prep, so I must eat and breathe Abercrombie and Fitch.

    • I'm a teenager, so I must drink and do drugs.

    • I'm a cheerleader, so !I must be a whore.

    • I'm a punk, so I must do drugs.

    • I'm young, so I must be naive.

    • I'm rich, so I must be a! snob, conceited.
    • !
    • I skateboard, So i must smoke cigarettes.

    • I wear black, so I must be gothic.

    • Im a black male, so i must be a thief.

    • I roll wit alot of dudes, so i must be easy/tom boy

    • I'm blonde, so I must not be smart.

    • I get good grades, so i must like school.

    • I'm homeless, so i must be a bum

    • I'm white, so i must! be racist.

    • I'm a high school drop!out, so i must not be able to carry a intelligent converastion.

    • !
    • Bottom line is that sterotypes are wrong, and the only way we can get rid of them is to make people aware of them!
    • ==================================
    • If you get ignored by some one, it means that you have been notice by that person first.
    • ==================================
    • Givin up doesnt mean your letting go, It means you've decided to accept it wasnt meant to be
    • - ...?
    • ==================================
    • All those who! are in love out there, add this to your favourites so we will be able to see how many of us are suffering.
    • ==================================
    • You know w!hy God is a man? Because if God was a woman she would have made sperm taste like chocolate.
    • ==================================
    • make a girl smile . . . . .

    • *1 . Tell her she is beautiful (not hot, fine, or sexy)
    • *2 . Hold her hand at any moment . . . even if its just for a second.
    • *3 . Kiss her on the forehead.
    • *4 . Leave her voice messages to wake up to.
    • *5 . Always tell her you love her every second of the day.
    • *6 . When she is upset, hold her tight and tell her how much she means to you.
    • *7 . Recognize the small things . . . they usually mean the most.
    • *8 . Sing to her no matter how horrible your voice is.
    • *9 . Pick her over all the other girls you hang out with.
    • *10 . Write her notes. (she loves them)
    • *11 . Introduce her to family and friends . . . as your girlfriend.
    • *12 . Play with her hair.
    • *13 . Pick her up, tickle her, and play-wrestle with her.
    • *14 . Sit in the p!ark and just talk to her.
    • *15 . Tell her funny jok!es, tell her stupid jokes, or just tell her jokes.
    • *16 . Throw pebbles at her window in the middle of the night . . . just because you missed her.
    • *17 . Let her fall asleep in your arms.
    • *18. Carve your names into a tree.
    • *19 . If she's mad at you, kiss her.
    • *20 . Give her piggyback rides.
    • *21 . Bring her fl!owers just because.
    • *22 . Treat her the same around your friends as you do when your alone.
    • *23 . Look her in the eyes and smile.
    • *24 . Let her take as many pictures of you as she wants.
    • *25 . Slow dance with her, even if there isn't any music playing.
    • *26 . Kiss her in the rain.
    • *27 . If your in love with her . . . tell her.
    • ==================================
    • Champions aren't made in the gyms. Champions are made from something they have deep inside them -- a desire, a dream, a vision.



    • Excuse me, I lost my number, can I have yours?
    • ==================================
    • The following is th!e philosophy of Charles Schultz, the creator of the "Peanuts" comic strip. You don't have to actually answer the questions. Just read the e-mail straight through, and you'll get the point.

    • 1. Name the five wealthies!t people in the world.

    • 2. Name the last five Heisman trophy winners.

    • 3. Name the last five winners of the Miss America.

    • 4. Name ten people who have won the Nobel or Pulitzer Prize.

    • 5. Name the last half dozen Academy Award winner for best actor and actress.

    • 6. Name the last decade's worth of World Series winners.



    • How did you do?

    • The point is, none of us r!emember the headliners of yesterday. These are no second-rate achievers. They are the best in their fields. But the applause dies. Awards tarnish. Acheivements are forgotten. Accolad!es and certificates are buried with their owners.

    • Here's another quiz. See how you do on this one:

    • 1. List a few teachers who ai!ded your journey through school.

    • 2. Name three friends who have helped you through a difficult time.

    • 3. Name five people who have taught you something worthwhile.

    • 4. Think of a few peopl!e who have made you feel appreciated and special.

    • 5. Think of five people you enjoy spending time with.

    • Easier?

    • The lesson: The people who make a difference in your life are not the ones with the most credentials, the most money, or the most awards. They are the ones that care.

    • Pass this on to those people who have made a difference in your life. "Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It's already tomorrow in Australia." (Charles Schultz)
    • ==================================
    • I'm not random, I just have many thoughts. Jealous, aren't you?
    • ==================================
    • If you were going to die! soon and had only one phone call you could make, who would you call and what would you say? And why are you waiting?
    • ==================================
    • No one falls in love !by choice, it is by CHANCE,
    • No one stays in love by chance, it is by WORK,
    • No one falls out of love by chance, it is by CHOICE
    • ==================================
    • Blonde Joke...

    • A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first American football game. They had great seats right behind their team's bench. After the !game, he asked her how she liked the experience.

    • "Oh, I really liked it," she replied, "especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn't understand why they were! killing each other over 25 cents."

    • Dumbfounded, her date asked, "What do you mean?"

    • "Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was: 'Get the !quarterback! Get the quarterback!' I'm like...Helloooooo? It's only 25 cents!!!!"
    • ==================================
    • Just because someone hurt you yesterday
    • doesn't mean you should start living life today
    • in constant fear of being hurt tomorrow.
    • ==================================
    • Life's not about the people who act true to you face. It's about the people who remain true behind your back.
    • ==================================
    • I have the body of a god...too bad it's Buddha
    • ==================================
    • Knowlege Is Knowing That A Tomato Is A Fruit, Wisdom Is Not Putting It In A Fruit Salad.

    • =================================
    • There's nothing worse than !meaning nothing to the person who means everything to you.
    • ===============================
    • I wish I could collect all the tears you made me cry... so I could DROWN you in them!!
    • ===============================
    • You are just jealous that the voices talk to me and not you.
    • ===============================
    • I'm glad a guy finally was thinking and realized how girls feel. Read it, its very true.

    • Guy; "Stop being so hard on yourselves. I know way too many really beautiful girls who think they don'!t look good... It hurts... because it's our fault, guys I mean. We make girls feel like they have to be perfect. You know what I mean, flat stomach, huge boobs, round ass, long legs, big lips, and on top of all that, they have to dress like a whore, and be one as well... nobody can measure up to that... and its not fair... because nobody should have to. The little imperfections are what make people special. If everyone was perfect the world would be so boring, variety is what makes life interesting. So guys, stop making girls have to live up to your, I'm sorry, our... deluded fantasy visions of !perfection. Stop acting like boys and start being men... realize that women don't exist to fufill our sexual desires. Sto!p talking to them solely to get with them, be nice to them because you want to be their friend, not because you want to hook up with them. Say nice things about them not to flatter them in hopes that you'll get some, but because you know they like to he!ar them. In short... we need to grow up and stop being dicks... just because we have them doesn't mean we need to think with them."
    • ===============================
    • To be trusted is a greater compliment than to be loved.
    • ===============================
    • Rule #1: I'm always right

    • Rule #2: If I'm ever wrong,
    • please see rule #1
    • ===============================

    • Never treat some one like they're second best

    • Never get less than 8 hours of rest

    • Never tell some one! that they mean nothing to you

    • Never sue some one who doesn't deserve to be sued

    • Never look in the !past when your futures ahead

    • Never check some one's pulse and still mistake them for dead

    • Never drink soda when water's nearby

    • Never say that you don't care if you die

    • Never trust anyone who isn't yourself

    • Never push photos to the back of the shelf

    • Never believe that you can't measure up

    • Never think it's empty when it's a full cup

    • Never act selfish just cuz your mother's around
    • !
    • Never expect to helped when you're on the ground

    • And if there is anythin!g you should never do, is pretend you don't like him/her when you love everything they do.
    • ===============================
    • Sometimes it's easier to be mad at the people you trust because you know that they'll always love you no matter what you say.
    • ===============================
    • I'll never forget the first time we met -- although, I'll keep trying.
    • Your house is so dirty you have to wipe your feet before you go outside.
    • Keep talking.! I always yawn when I'm interested..
    • I would ask you how old you !are, but I know you can't count that high.
    • You are so old, your birth-certificate expired.
    • How did you get here? Did someone leave your cage open?
    • You are so dumb, you stand on a chair to raise your IQ.
    • ===============================
    • You have the right to remain silent.
    • Anything you do or say will be exaggerated or mis-quoted and used against you.

    • ===============================

    • My dream is to hear rocks h!itting the window and see you standing in the rain...
    • - unknown
    • ===============================
    • 'There comes a tim!e in life when you have to let go of all the pointless drama & and the people who create it, and surround yoursel!f with people that make you laugh so hard that you completely forget the bad and focus solely on the good. After all, life is too short to be anything but happy.'
    • ===============================
    • The people that really love you are the people who will never hurt you.
    • ===============================
    • One tequila two tequila three tequila floor
    • ===============================
    • *It's not death that I am afraid! of, it's time. I am afraid that my time will be up before I find my place on this Earth*
    • ===============================
    • don't care !if you have a boyfriend or girlfriend right now. Just read this, it will make a difference.
    • If only everyone could see this and understand it.

    • When she stares at your mouth
    • - Kiss her

    • When she pushes you or hits you like a dumb ass cuz she thinks shes stronger than you
    • - Grab her and don't let go

    • When she starts cursing at you tryin to act all tuff
    • - Kiss her and tell her you love her

    • When she's quiet
    • - Ask her what's wrong

    • When she ignores you
    • - Give her your attention

    • When she pulls away
    • - Pull her back

    • When you see h!er at her worst
    • - Tell her she's beautiful

    • When you s!ee her start crying
    • - Just hold her and don't say a word

    • When you !see her walking
    • - Sneak up and hug her waist from behind

    • When she's scared
    • - Dont laugh, protect her

    • When she steals your favorite hoodie
    • - Let her keep it and sleep with it for a night

    • When she teases you
    • - Tease her back and make her laugh

    • When she doesn't answer for a long time
    • - Reassure her that everything is okay

    • When she looks at you with doubt
    • - Back yourself up

    • When she says that she loves you
    • - She really does more than you could understand!!

    • When she grabs at your hands
    • - Hold her's and p!lay with her fingers
    • !
    • When she bumps into you
    • - Bump into her back and make her laugh

    • When she tells you a secret
    • - Keep it safe! and untold

    • When she looks a!t you in your eyes
    • - Don't look away until she does

    • When she says it's over
    • - She still wants you to be hers

    • - Stay on the phone with her even if she's not saying anything.

    • - When she's mad hug her tight and don't let go

    • - When she says she's ok dont believe it, talk with her

    • - because 10 yrs later she'll remember you
    • !
    • - Call her at 12:01am on her birthday to tell her you love her and happy birthday!

    • - Treat her like she's all! that matters to you.

    • - Always tell her exac!tly how you feel

    • - Stay up all night with her when she's sick.
    • !
    • - Watch her favorite movie with her or her favorite show even if you think it's stupid.

    • - Give her the world

    • - Let her wear your clothes.

    • - When she's bored and sad, hang out with her.

    • - Let her know she's important.

    • - Kiss her in the pouring rain.

    • - When she runs up to you crying,the first thing you say is;
    • "Whose ass am I kicking?"

    • If you had someone on your mind this whole time , you are
    • in love.
    • ===============================

    • The choices we make, and the chances w!e take, determine our destiny.
    • ===============================
    • Forgiving is not forgetting. It's !letting go of the hurt.
    • -
    • ===============================
    • Love is playing every g!ame as if it's your last.
    • ===============================
    • She's the type of girl that can be so hurt...
    • but can still look! at you with a smile
    • The type of girl who is willing to brighten your day...
    • even if she can't brighten her own



    • You have to know how to accept rejection and reject acceptance.
    • ===============================
    • A relationship is like a house. When a lightbulb burns out you do not go and buy a new house, you fix the lightbulb.
    • ===============================
    • What we do in life, echoes in eternity...
    • ===============================
    • The phrase "rule of thumb" is derived from and old English law which stated that you couldn't beat your wife with !anything wider than your thumb.

    • Stewardesses is the longest word typed with only the left hand.

    • Shakespeare inv!ented the word "assassination" and "bump."

    • Marilyn Monroe had six toes on one foot.

    • If you keep a Goldfish in the dark room, it will eventually turn white.

    • It is impossible to sn!eeze with your eyes open.

    • The giant squid has the la!rgest eyes in the world.

    • In England, the Speaker of th!e House is not allowed to speak.

    • The longest one-syllable word i!n the English language is "screeched."

    • On a Canadian two dollar bill, the flag flying over the Parliament
    • Building
    • is an American! flag.
    • !
    • All of the clocks in t!he movie Pulp Fiction are stuck on 4:20.

    • No word in the English la!nguage rhymes with month, orange, silver or
    • purple.

    • Almonds are !members of the peach family.

    • Winston Churchill was born in a ladies' room during a dance.

    • Maine is the only state whose name is just one syllable.

    • The youngest pope was 11 years old.

    • The world's youngest parents were 8 and 9 and lived in China in 1910.

    • A snail can sleep for 3 years.

    • American Airlines saved $40,000 in 1987 by eliminating one olive from
    • each
    • salad served in first-class.

    • China has more English sp!eakers than the United States.

    • The shortest war in history was between Zanzibar and England in 1896.
    • Zanzibar surrendered afte!r 38 minutes.

    • A polar bear's skin is black. Its fur is not white, but actually clear.

    • The electric chair was invented by a dentist.

    • Did you know you s!hare your birthday with at least 9 other million
    • people in
    • the world?

    • The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body
    • to
    • squirt blood 30 feet.

    • Banging your head against! a wall uses 150 calories an hour.

    • On average, people fear spiders more than they do death.

    • The strongest muscle in t!he body is the TONGUE.

    • The longest word in the English language is 1909 letters long and it
    • refers!
    • to a distinct part of DNA.

    • It's impossible to sneeze with your eyes open.

    • Americans on the average eat 18 acres of pizza every day.

    • Every time you lick a stamp, you're consuming 1/10 of a calorie.

    • You know that you are more likely to be killed by a champagne cork than
    • by a
    • poisonous spider.

    • The cruise liner, Queen Eliz!abeth II, moves only six inches for each
    • gallon
    • of diesel that it burns.

    • Cat's urine glows un!der a black light.

    • In the last 4000 years,! no new animals have been domesticated.

    • The most common nam!e in the world is Mohammed.

    • Michael Jordan makes more! money from Nike annually than all of the Nike
    • factory workers in Malaysia combined.

    • One of the reasons marijuana is illegal today is because cotton growers
    • in
    • the 30s lobbied against hemp farmers-they saw it as competition.

    • Only one person in two billion will live to be 116 or older.

    • The name Wendy was made up for the book "Peter Pan."

    • If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days, you would have produced
    • enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee. If you fart consistently
    • for
    • 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an
    • atomic bomb.

    • Cats have over one hundred vocal sounds, dogs only have about ten.

    • Our eyes are always the same size !from birth, but our nose and ears
    • never
    • stop growing.

    • If Barbie were life-size her measu!rements would be 39-23-33. She would
    • stand
    • seven feet, two inches tall and have a neck twice the length of a
    • normal
    • human's neck.

    • Feb 1865 is the only month in re!corded history not to have a full moon.
    • ===============================
    • Anyone can give up, it's the easiest thing in the world to do. But to hold it together when everyone else would understan!d if you fell apart, that's true strength.
    • ===============================
    • Tell him I hate him, tell him that I don't love him anymore, tell him that he means nothing to me, but please don't tell! him I said all of this in tears.
    • ===============================

    • Don't take me for granted,
    • because unlike the others, I'm not afraid to walk away.
    • ===============================
    • When the keg has been kicked, when the liquor has run dry, when we've fallen out of love with the perfect guy, when the party is over, when we're passed out on the floor, when we can't keep kicking ass in beer pong anymore, we'll still be friends cause we know the deal, we're each others girls and we'll always keep it real.
    • ===============================
    • Never in a million years did I think I'd find someone so utterly and completely perfect; someone who'd make me happier than I ever dreamed I could be; someone that would touch my life so profoundly and just give me a whole new reason to breathe...But then I found you, and realized that everything I anticipated you'd be, doesn't even compare to what you are
    • ===============================
    • Just because don't talk doesn't mean I don't think about you. I'm just trying to distance myself because I know I can't have you.



    • Whatever creams your twinkie!
    • ===============================
    • GOOD FRIEND V!S. BEST FRIEND

    • Good Friend-Hands you your shoe if it falls off.
    • Best Friend-Grabs your shoe and runs around the room with it,screaming "Ha, ha, loser!"
    • !
    • Good Friend-Helps you up if you fall down.
    • Best Friend-Will stand beside y!ou laughing, because they pushed you you over in the first place.

    • Good Friend-Will rush over right away to comfort you if you're house burns down.
    • Best Friend-Will be roasting m!arshmallows over the coals and flirting with the firemen.

    • Good Friend-Will pay your bail if you're arrested for DUI.
    • Best Friend-Is sitting in the cell beside you, saying "Great party, huh?"

    • Good Friend-Will call your parents by their first names.
    • Best Friend-Will call your parents 'Mom' and 'Dad'.

    • Good Friend-Knocks on yo!ur door and wits for you to answer.
    • Best Friend-Walks right in and says "Mom, I'm home!"

    • Good Friend-Acts like a gu!est at your house.
    • Best Friend-Raids your refridgerator and makes themselves at home.

    • Good Friend-Will watch what's already on the TV.
    • Best Friend-Will wrestle your little brother for the remote.

    • Good Friend-Wai!s for you after school if you get detention.
    • Best Friend-Will get themselves in trouble just to land themselves in detention to keep you company.

    • Good Friend-Will hel!p you with your chores.
    • Best Friend-Will stand behind you and say "You missed a spot."

    • Good Friend-Will lend you money and not expect you to pay them back.
    • Best Friend-Will lend you money and then charge interest.

    • Good Friend-Will comfort you if your boyfriend breaks up with you.
    • Best Friend-Will say "Be right back", go out with a baseball bat, come back at 3:00 in the morning and say "It's all been taken care of."

    • Good Friend-Will have little "inside jokes" with you.
    • Best Friend- Will randomly break out laughing because of some "inside joke" you guys had last week.

    • Good Friend-Will come and get you if you call to say you're lost.
    • Best Friend-Will call you an i!diot for not asking directions.

    • Good Friend-Will try to talk you out of bungee-jumoing off the Empire State Building.
    • Best Friend-Will tie the !bungee cord themselves and then push you off.

    • Good Friend-Disagrees if you say words can't hurt you.
    • Best Friend- Hits you over the head with the dictionary to prove you wrong.

    • Good Friend-Would give you the last life jacket on a sinking ship.
    • Best Friend-Wo!uld say "I hope you can swim, and if not, I'll really f***ing miss you."
    • !
    • Good Friend-Will ask if you're okay, and when you say "I'm fine" they'll drop it.
    • Best Friend-Will ask if you're okay, and when you say "i'm fine", they'll look you in the eye and say "Okay, now tell the truth."
    • ===============================
    • The more you get to know a person, the more attractive they become to you. Because everything beautiful you see on the inside of them, suddenly you're able to see on the outside of them too.
    • ===============================
    • I'm not afraid to try again. I'm just afraid of getting hurt for the same reason.
    • ===============================
    • A best friend is better than any boyfriend. A best friend may not kiss you or hold you through the night, but they will hold your hand through tough times. They cause tears only through giggles, and they wil!l never judge you on how you look with your makeup off. They may not give you flowers on Valent!ine's Day but they will give you chocolate once a month. And the best thing about them is that no matter how many times you fight and no matter how loud you may yell, you always know in !the end they're still going to love you, and that nothing you could ever say, or scream, could change that.
    • ===============================
    • He who laughs last thinks slowest
    • ===============================

    • If you can't! amaze people with your intelligence, confuse them with your bulls**t.
    • ===============================
    • Summer romances begin for all kinds of reasons, but when all is said and done, they have one thing in common. They are shooting stars, spectacular moments of light from heavens, a fleeting glimpse of eternity and in a flash there gone
    • ===============================
    • It's funny how in the end, you always go back, to the ones that have been there from the very beginning
    • ===============================
    • The course of true love never did run smooth.
    • ===============================
    • Once on a yellow piece of paper with green lines
    • he wrote a poem
    • And he called it "Chops"
    • because that was the name of his dog
    • And that's what it was all about
    • And his teacher gave him an A
    • and a gold star
    • And his mother hung it on the kitchen door
    • and read it to his aunts
    • That was the year that Father Tracy
    • took all the !kids to the zoo
    • And he let them !sing on the bus
    • And his little sister was born
    • with tiny toenails and no hair
    • And his mot!her and father kissed a lot
    • And the girl around the corner sent him a
    • valentine signed with a row of X's
    • and he had to! ask his father what the X's meant
    • And his father always tucked him in bed at night
    • And was always there to do it

    • Once on a piece of white paper with blue lines
    • he wrote a poem
    • And he called it "Autumn"
    • because that was the name of the season
    • And that's what it was all about
    • And his teacher gave him an A
    • and asked him to write more clearly
    • And his mother never hung it on the kitchen door
    • because of its new paint
    • And the kids told him
    • that Father Tracy smoked cigars
    • And left butts on the pews
    • And sometimes they would burn holes
    • That was the year his sister got glasses
    • with thick lenses and black frames
    • And the girl around the corner laughed
    • when he asked her to go see Santa Claus
    • And the kids told him why
    • his mother and father kissed a lot
    • And his father never tucked him in bed at night
    • And his father got mad
    • when he cried for him to do it.

    • Once on a paper torn from his notebook
    • he wrote a poem
    • And he called it "Innocence: A Question"
    • because that was the question about his girl
    • And that's what it was all about
    • And his professor gave him an A
    • and a strange steady look
    • And his mother never hung it on the kitchen door
    • because he never showed her
    • That was the year that Father Tracy died
    • And he forgot how the end
    • of the Apostle's Creed went
    • And he caught his sister making out on the back porch
    • And his mother and father never kissed
    • or even talked
    • And the girl around the corner
    • wore too much makeup
    • That made him cough when he kissed her
    • but he kissed her anyway
    • because that was the thing to do
    • And at three A.M. he tucked himself into bed
    • his father snoring soundly

    • That's why on the back of a brown paper bag
    • he tried another poem
    • And he called it "Absolutely Nothing"
    • Because that's what it was really all about
    • And he gave himself an A
    • and a slash on each damned wrist
    • And he hung it on the bathroom door
    • because this time he didn't think
    • he could reach the kitchen.
    • ==================================
    • what's done is done, what's gone is gone. one of life's lessons is always moving on. getting over a first love, dealing with heartbreak, dealing with death and dealing with life. it's ok to look back and think of fond memories, but keep moving forward and you will live your life happily
    • ==================================
    • Here's to the kids who try their hardest be good enough for everyone;
    • Who spend hours reading random love quotes to find the right one;
    • Who wait online for that one certain person to sign on just to say hello;
    • Who listen to the same song dozens of times because the lyrics mean alot;
    • Who deserve so much more than they get and are willing to fight for it..
    • And whose wish upon a shooting star was wasted on someone that will
    • never care.
    • ==================================
    • We're all in the same game, just different levels. Dealing with the same hell, just different devils.
    • ==================================
    • You know you're old when the candles cost more than the cake.
    • ==================================
    • You are a big wet blanket on my fire of fun!
    • ==================================

    • The important thing is not winning, it's making everyone else lose.
    • ==================================
    • "As we grow older, it becomes difficult to just believe. It's not that we don't want to, but too much has happened that we just can't."
    • ==================================
    • After getting all of Pope John Paul's luggage loaded into the limo (and he doesn't travel light), the driver notices that the Pope is still standing on the curb. "Excuse me, Your Holiness," says the driver, "Would you please take your seat so we can leave?" "Well, to tell you the truth," says the Pope," they never let me drive at the Vatican, and I'd really like to drive today."

    • "I'm sorry but I cannot let you do that. I'd lose my job! And what if something should happen?" protests the driver, wishing he'd never gone to work that morning.

    • "There might be something extra in it for you," says the Pope.

    • Reluctantly, the driver gets in the back as the Pope climbs in behind the wheel. The driver quickly regrets his decision when, after exiting the airport, the Pontiff floors it, accelerating the limo to 105 mph.

    • "Please slow down, Your Holiness!!!" pleads the worried driver, but the Pope keeps the pedal to the metal until they hear sirens.

    • "Oh, dear God, I'm gonna lose my license," moans the driver.

    • The Pope pulls over and rolls down the window as the cop approaches, but the cop takes one look at him, goes back to his motorcycle, and gets on the radio.

    • "I need to talk to the Chief," he says to the dispatcher.

    • The Chief gets on the radio and the cop tells him that he's stopped a limo going a hundred and five.

    • "So bust him," says the Chief.

    • "I don't think we want to do that, he's really important," said the cop.

    • The Chief exclaimed, "All the more reason!"

    • "No, I mean really important," said the cop.

    • The Chief then asked, "Who ya got there, the Mayor?"

    • Cop: "Bigger."

    • Chief: "Governor?"

    • Cop: "Bigger."

    • "Well," said the Chief, "Who is it?"

    • Cop: "I think it's God!"

    • Chief: "What makes you think it's God?"

    • Cop: "He's got the F***ing Pope as a driver!!
    • ==================================
    • Hello Operator, does Heaven have a phone number? Mommy went to Heaven, but I need her here today, My tummy hurts and I fell down, I need her right away, Operator can you tell me how to find her in this book. Is heaven in the yellow part, I don't know where to look. I think my daddy needs her too, at night I hear him cry. I hear him call her name sometimes, but I really don't know why. Maybe if I call her, she will hurry home to me. Is Heaven very far away, is it across the sea? She's been gone a long, long time she needs to come home now! I really need to reach her, but I simply don't know how. Help me find the number please, is it listed under "Heaven"? I can't read these big big words, I am only seven. I'm sorry operator, I didn't mean to make you cry, Is your tummy hurting too, or is there something in your eye? If I call my church maybe they will know Mommy said when we need help that's where we should go. I found the number to my church tacked up on the wall. Thank you operator, I'll give them a call



    • THINGS THAT HALLMARK CARDS DON'T SAY

    • My tire was thumping.
    • I thought it was flat
    • When I looked at the tire...
    • I noticed your cat.
    • Sorry!
    • _________________________
    • Heard your wife left you,
    • How upset you must be.
    • But don't fret about it...
    • She moved in with me.
    • _________________________
    • Looking back over the years
    • that we've been together,
    • I can't help but wonder...
    • "What the hell was I thinking?"
    • __________________________
    • Congratulations on your wedding day!
    • Too bad no one likes your husband.
    • __________________________
    • I've always wanted to have
    • someone to hold,someone to love.
    • After having met you ..
    • I've changed my mind.
    • ___________________________
    • I must admit, you brought Religion into my life.
    • I never believed in Hell until I met you.
    • ____________________________
    • As the days go by,
    • I think of how lucky I am...
    • That you're not here to ruin it for me.
    • _____________________________
    • Congratulations on your promotion.
    • Before you go...
    • Would you like to take this knife out of my back?
    • You'll probably need it again.
    • _____________________________
    • Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad!
    • (Available only in Tennessee, Kentucky & West Virginia)
    • _____________________________
    • Happy birthday!
    • You look great for your age.
    • Almost Lifelike!
    • _____________________________
    • When we were together,
    • you always said you'd die for me.
    • Now that we've broken up,
    • I think it's time you kept your promise.
    • _____________________________
    • We have been friends for a very long time ..
    • let's say we stop?
    • _____________________________
    • I'm so miserable without you
    • it's almost like you're here.
    • _____________________________
    • Congratulations on your new bundle of joy.
    • Did you ever find out who the father was?
    • _____________________________
    • Your friends and I wanted to do something special for your birthday.
    • So we're having you put to sleep.
    • _____________________________
    • So your daughter's a hooker,
    • and it spoiled your day.
    • Look at the bright side,
    • it's really good pay.
    • ______________________________
    • ==================================
    • Ever have that one person in your life that you just can't give up on, the one person who can screw you over time after time yet you always seem to give them another chance, and no matter how many times you say this is their last one, you know it's a lie because there's always just one more waiting for them. The one person you know you're better off without but yet you can't find a way to let them go because deep down inside you wouldn't know what to do without them. The one person that you know doesn't deserve you but yet you choose to overlook it. Because you love him.
    • ==================================
    • There is a place
    • You can touch a woman
    • That will drive her crazy.

    • Her heart.
    • ==================================

    • 1) At the end of a meeting, suggest that, for once, it would be nice to conclude with the singing of the National Anthem (extra points if you actually launch into it yourself)

    • 2) Walk into a very busy person's office and while they watch you with growing irritation, turn the light switch on/off 10 times.

    • 3) For an hour, refer to everyone you speak to as "Bob".

    • 4) Announce to everyone in a meeting that you "really have to go do a number two".

    • 5) After every sentence, say 'Mon' in a really bad Jamaican accent. As in "the report's on your desk, Mon". Keep this up for one hour.

    • 6) While an office mate is out, move their chair into the lift.

    • 7) In a meeting or crowded situation, slap your forehead repeatedly and mutter, "Shut up, damn it, all of you just shut up!"

    • 8) At lunchtime, get down on your knees and announce, "As God is my witness, I'll never go hungry again".

    • 9) In a colleague's diary, write in 10am: "See how I look in tights".

    • 10) Carry your keyboard over to your colleague and ask "You wanna trade?".

    • 11) Repeat the following conversation 10 times to the same person: "Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, it's gone now".

    • 12) Come to work in army fatigues and when asked why, say, "I can't talk about it".

    • 13) Posing as a maitre d', call a colleague and tell him he's won a lunch for four at a local restaurant. Let him go.

    • 14) Speak with an accent (French, German, Porky Pig, etc) during a very important conference call.

    • 15) Find the vacuum and start vacuuming around your desk.

    • 16) Hang a two-foot long piece of toilet roll from the back of your pants and act genuinely surprised when someone points it out.

    • 17) Present meeting attendees with a cup of coffee and biscuit, smash each biscuit with your fist.

    • 18) During the course of a meeting, slowly edge your chair towards the door.

    • 19) Arrange toy figures on the table to represent each meeting
    • attendee, move them according to the movements of their real-life counterparts.

    • 20) Move your work desk and chair into the lift and when the doors open say "Hello, can I help you???".

    • And if that wasn't enough for you...

    • SEVEN POINT DARES

    • 1) At lunchtime, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hairdryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.

    • 2) Tell your children over dinner. "Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go."

    • 3) Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.

    • 4) Put your rubbish bin on your desk and label it "IN."

    • 5) Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over his or her caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.

    • 6) In the subject field for all your e-mails, write "FOR SEXUAL FAVOURS".

    • 7) Finish all your sentences with "In accordance with the prophecy."

    • 8) Don't use any punctuation

    • 9) As often as possible, skip rather than walk.

    • 10) Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they
    • answer.

    • 11) Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."

    • 12) Sing along at the opera.

    • 13) Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.

    • 14) Put mosquito netting around your work area. Play a tape of jungle sounds all day.

    • 15) Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood.

    • 16) Have your co-workers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Hard.

    • 17) When the money comes out of the ATM, scream "I Won! I Won! 3rd time this week!!!"

    • 18) When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot
    • yelling, "Run for your lives, they're loose!"
    • ==================================
    • ( from charlie and the chocolate factory)

    • Willy Wonka: everything in this room is eatable. yes, i am eatable but that, children is called cannibelism and is frowned upon in most societies
    • ==================================
    • Someone should sue DISNEY
    • For PUTTING the thought
    • In little girls HEADS that
    • EVERYONE has a Prince Charming
    • And lives HAPPILY ever after...
    • ==================================

    • I don't regret the things I've done, but those I did not do.
    • ==================================
    • Sometimes I wonder what my life would be like with out you. Then I thank God I only have to wonder.
    • ==================================
    • Dear Heart,

    • I met a boy today.....prepare to shatter
    • ==================================
    • it goes in dry,
    • it comes out wet,
    • the longer its in,
    • the better it gets,
    • when it comes out,
    • it drips and sags,
    • .............
    • stop thinking nasty,
    • it's a tea bag!


    • ==================================

    • The happiest people don't necessarily have the best of everything, they just make the best out of everything that comes their way
    • ==================================
    • “The darkness that surrounds us cannot hurt us.
    • It is the darkness in your own heart you should fear."
    • ==================================
    • when i tell you i love you..i dont say it out of a habit or to start a conversation, i say it to remind you that you're the best thing that ever happend to me
    • ==================================
    • Women are amazing. She can put a smile on her face, act like everything is fine, when really the world is on her shoulders and her life is slipping through the cracks of her fingers.....
    • ==================================
    • There are some people in life

    • That make you laugh a little louder

    • Smile a little bigger

    • And just live a little better
    • ==================================
    • I Wish You Enough

    • Recently I overheard a mother and daughter in their last moments together at the airport. They had announced the departure. Standing near the security gate, they hugged and the mother said, "I love you and I wish you enough".

    • The daughter replied, "Mom, our life together has been more than enough. Your love is all I ever needed. I wish you enough, too, Mom".

    • They kissed and the daughter left. The mother walked over to the window where I was seated. Standing there I could see she wanted and needed to cry.

    • I tried not to intrude on her privacy but she welcomed me in by asking,"Did you ever say good-bye to someone knowing it would be forever? ".

    • "Yes, I have," I replied. "Forgive me for asking, but why is this a forever good-bye?".

    • "I am old and she lives so far away. I have challenges ahead and the reality is - the next trip back will be for my funeral,"she said.

    • "When you were saying good-bye, I heard you say, 'I wish you enough'. May I ask what that means?".

    • She began to smile. "That's a wish that has been handed down from other generations. My parents used to say it to everyone".

    • She paused a moment and looked up as if trying to remember it in detail and she smiled even more. "When we said, I wish you enough', we were wanting the other person to have a life filled with just enough good things to sustain them".

    • Then turning toward me, she shared the following as if she were reciting it from memory. I wish you enough sun to keep your attitude bright, I wish you enough rain to appreciate the sun more. I wish you enough happiness to keep your spirit alive. I wish you enough pain so that the smallest joys in life appear much bigger. I wish you enough gain to satisfy your wanting. I wish you enough loss to appreciate all that you possess. I wish you enough hellos to get you through the final good-bye.

    • She then began to cry and walked away.

    • They say it takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate them, a day to love them, but then an entire life to forget them.

    • Take time to live......To all my friends and loved ones, I wish you enough.
    • ==================================

    • God doesn’t give you the people you want, he gives you the people you need. To help you, to hurt you, to leave you, to love you & to make you the person you were meant to be.
    • ==================================
    • ..all i want is for one guy to prove to me that they arent all the same..
    • ==================================
    • Lets play truth or dare
    • Or just dare because
    • Nobody tells the truth anymore
    • ==================================
    • We spend the first twelve months of our children's' lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve years telling them to sit down and shut up.



    • There are two kinds of secrets.
    • Those we keep from others...
    • And those we hide from ourselves.
    • ==================================
    • We walk away from our dreams afraid we may fail, or worse yet, afraid we may succeed.
    • ==================================
    • You try,
    • You fail,

    • You try
    • You fail,

    • But the real failure is when you stop trying!
    • ==================================
    • My mind is like god. It works in mysterious ways, no one really understands it, and people debate over whether or not it exists.
    • ==================================
    • I'm afraid to close my eyes because I might think of u. I'm afraid to open them because I might see u. I'm afraid to move my lips because I might speak of u, I'm afraid to listen because I might hear my heart falling for u.
    • ==================================
    • someday everything will all make perfect sense. so for now, laugh at confusion, smile through the tears, and keep reminding yourself that
    • everything happens for a reason.
    • ==================================

    • "It's not lost. I just can't find it."
    • ==================================
    • This is one of the best explanations of why God allows pain and suffering that I have seen. It's an explanation other people will understand.

    • A man went to a barbershop to have his hair cut and his beard trimmed. As the barber began to work, they began to have a good conversation. They talked about so many things and various subjects.

    • When they eventually touched on the subject of God, the barber said: "I don't believe that God exists."

    • "Why do you say that?" asked the customer.

    • "Well, you just have to go out in the street to realize that God doesn't exist. Tell me, if God exists, would there be so many sick people? Would there be abandoned children? If God existed, there would be neither suffering nor pain. I can't imagine a loving God who would allow all of these things."

    • The customer thought for a moment, but didn't respond because he didn't want to start an argument. The barber finished his job and the customer left the shop. Just after he left the barbershop, he saw a man in the street with long, stringy, dirty hair and an untrimmed beard. He looked dirty and un-kept.

    • The customer turned back and entered the barber shop again and he said to the barber: "You know what? Barbers do not exist."

    • "How can you say that?" asked the surprised barber. "I am here, and I am a barber. And I just worked on you!"

    • "No!" the customer exclaimed. "Barbers don't exist because if they did, there would be no people with dirty long hair and untrimmed beards, like that man outside."

    • "Ah, but barbers DO exist! What happens is, people do not come to me."
    • "Exactly!"- affirmed the customer. "That's the point! God, too, DOES exist! What happens, is, people don't go to Him and do not look for Him. That's why there's so much pain and suffering in the world."
    • ==================================
    • WISDOM OF THE SOUL

    • 1. No one can ruin your day without YOUR permission.

    • 2. Most people will be about as happy, as they decide to be.

    • 3. Others can stop you temporarily, but only you can do it permanently.

    • 4. Whatever you are willing to put up with, is exactly what you will have.

    • 5. Success stops when you do.

    • 6. When your ship comes in. ... make sure you are willing to unload it.

    • 7. You will never "have it all together."

    • 8. Life is a journey... not a destination. Enjoy the trip!

    • 9. The biggest lie on the planet: "When I get what I want I will be happy."

    • 10. The best way to escape your problem is to solve it.

    • 11. I've learned that ultimately 'takers' lose and 'givers' win.

    • 12. Life's precious moments don't have value, unless they are shared.

    • 13. If you don't start, it's certain you won't arrive.

    • 14. We often fear the thing we want the most.

    • 15. Yesterday was the deadline for all complaints.

    • 16. Look for opportunities. ..not guarantees.

    • 17. Life is what's coming....not what was.

    • 18. Success is getting up one more time.

    • 19. Now is the most interesting time of all.

    • 20. When things go wrong.....don' t go with them.

    • 21. Sometimes the majority only means that all the fools are on the same side.

    • 22. A person who asks a question might be a fool for five minutes, but a person who doesn't ask, is a fool forever.

    • 23. A best friend is like a four leaf clover... hard to find, and lucky to have.

    • 24. I don't have to attend every argument I'm invited to.

    • 25. Our eyes are placed in front because it is more important to look ahead than to look behind.
    • ==================================
    • Isn’t it amazing how a person who was once just a stranger, suddenly meant the world to you?



    • ==================================


    • Why don't you go outside and play hide and go f*** yourself?
    • ==================================
    • Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter.
    • ==================================
    • I've learned the best way to prevent your heart from getting broken, is to act like you don't have one.
    • ==================================
    • Which hurts more. Thinking you should hate him or knowing you don't?
    • ==================================
    • you get into the [ B I G G E S T ] fights, with the people you care about most because t h o s e are the relationships, you're willing to fight for
    • ==================================
    • 'It always rains the hardest on those who deserve the sun.'
    • ==================================

    • I may be schizophrenic, but at least I have each other, and when I am alone I am together.
    • ==================================
    • A B C D E F G
    • gummy bears are after me.
    • one is red
    • one is blue
    • the yellow one just took my shoe.
    • when i find him i will sue,
    • then i will get back to u.
    • ==================================
    • Don’t ever let people tell you that you aren’t good enough
    • Because you are.

    • Don’t ever give up your dreams
    • Because you need them.

    • Don’t ever compromise your morals
    • Because they make you who you are.

    • Don’t ever hide your feelings
    • Because someone’s willing to hear them.

    • Don’t ever think you’ve got it all figured out
    • Because the next moment you won’t.

    • Don’t ever live your life in the past
    • Because then you’ll miss out on the now.

    • Don’t ever let people bring you down
    • Because they don’t deserve to.

    • Don’t ever be someone you aren’t
    • Because then you’ll never know you who really are.

    • Don’t ever let someone tell you how you feel
    • Because it’s not their right to.

    • Don’t ever give up something that feels right
    • Because it probably is.

    • Don’t ever worry about the petty things
    • Because they just don’t matter.

    • Don’t ever run away from your problems
    • Because they always find you.

    • Don’t ever be afraid to take risks
    • Because they make life worth living.

    • Don’t ever let someone take away your happiness
    • Because it was never theirs to take.
    • ==================================
    • Friend: One who knows all about you and loves you just the same.


    • ==================================

    • Moving on is simple, it's what we leave behind that's hard.
    • ==================================
    • Stop being so stupid.. it's my turn.
    • ==================================
    • What are the three fastest ways of communication?
    • Telephone, Television, Tell-a-woman.
    • ==================================
    • i HAVE THE KiND OF FRiENDS

    • where if my house was burning down,
    • they'd be roasting marshmallows &
    • hitting on the firemen
    • ==================================
    • smile::
    • let everyone know that today,
    • you're a lot stronger than you were yesterday
    • ==================================
    • If someone is strong enough to bring you down, show them you're strong enough to get back up
    • ==================================

    • People always think that the most painful thing in life is losing the one you value, but the truth is the most painful thing is losing yourself in the process of valuing someone too much and forgetting that you are special too. Always remember that if "I" loves "YOU", the "I" should love itself too.
    • ==================================
    • I live for the days I can't remember with the friends I'll never forget.
    • ==================================
    • Faith is taking the first step even when you don't see the whole staircase.
    • ==================================
    • It's one of those days again,
    • When music is your only friend

    • ==================================


    • Organized people are just too lazy to look for things
    • ==================================
    • Don't think outside the box...Think like there is no box.

    • ==================================
    • Can people really be this stupid?

    • 1. Recently, when I went to McDonald's I saw on the menu that I could have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets. I asked for a half dozen nuggets. "We don't have half dozen nuggets," said the teenager at the counter. "You don't?" I replied. "We only have six, nine, or twelve," was the reply. "So I can't order a half dozen nuggets, but I can order six?" "That's right." So I shook my head and ordered six McNuggets.

    • 2. I was checking out at the local Wal-Mart with just a few items and the lady behind me put her things on the belt close to mine. I picked up one of those "dividers" that they keep by the cash register and placed it between our things so they wouldn't get mixed. After the girl had scanned all of my items, she picked up the "divider", looking it all over for the bar code so she could scan it. Not finding the bar code she said to me, "Do you know how much this is?" I said to her "I've changed my mind, I don't think I'll buy that today." She said "OK," and I paid her for the things and left. She had no clue to what had just happened.

    • 3. A lady at work was seen putting a credit card into her floppy drive and pulling it out very quickly. When I inquired as to what she was doing, she said she was shopping on the Internet and they kept asking for a credit card number, so she was using the ATM "thingy."

    • 4. I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car. "Do you need some help?" I asked. She replied, "I knew I should have replaced the battery to this remote door unlocker. Now I can't get into my car. Do you think they (pointing to a distant convenience store) would have a battery to fit this?" "Hmmm, I dunno. Do you have an alarm, too?" I asked. "No, just this remote thingy," she answered, handing it and the car keys to me. As I took the key and manually unlocked the door, I replied, "Why don't you drive over there and check about the batteries. It's a long walk."

    • 5. Several years ago, we had an Intern who was none too swift. One day she was typing and turned to a secretary and said, "I'm almost out of typing paper. What do I do?" "Just use copier machine paper," the secretary told her. With that, the intern took her last remaining blank piece of paper, put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make five "blank" copies.

    • 6. I was in a car dealership a while ago, when a large motor home was towed into the garage. The front of the vehicle was in dire need of repair and the whole thing generally looked like an extra in "Twister." I asked the manager what had happened. He told me that the driver had set the "cruise control" and then went in the back to make a sandwich.

    • 7. My neighbor works in the operations department in the central office of a large bank. Employees in the field call him when they have problems with their computers. One night he got a call from a woman in one of the branch banks who had this question: "I've got smoke coming from the back of my terminal. Do you guys have a fire downtown?"

    • 8. Police in Radnor, PA, interrogated a suspect by placing a metal colander on his head and connecting it with wires to a photocopy machine. The message "He's lying" was placed in the copier, and police pressed the copy button each time they thought the suspect wasn't telling the truth. Believing the "lie detector" was working, the suspect confessed.

    • 9. A mother calls 911 very worried asking the dispatcher if she needs to take her kid to the emergency room, the kid was eating ants. The dispatcher tells her to give the kid some Benadryl and should be fine, the mother says, I just gave him some ant killer..... Dispatcher: Rush him in to emergency.
    • ==================================
    • Some people, are meant to fall in love with each other, But not meant to be together.
    • ==================================
    • "He may not be the most attractive, he may not say all the right words, but when you see him, you know he's the one that can make you smile, laugh, and cry all at the same time."
    • ==================================

    • Just keep swimming. Just keep swimming. Just keep swimming, swimming, swimming. What do we do? We swim, swim.
    • ==================================
    • Don't do it in the garden. Love is blind but the neighbors aren't.
    • ==================================
    • If shes amazing, she wont be easy. If shes easy, she wont be amazing. If shes worth it, you wont give up. If you give up, you're not worthy.
    • ==================================
    • If you hold eleven different roses in front of a mirror, you will see the twelve most beautiful things in the world...




    • 1)Hi..i'm a human being.What r u?
    • 2)Are you always so stupid or is today a special occasion?
    • 3)As an outsider what do u think of the human race?
    • 4)I'd like to kick u in the teeth then again why should i improve ur looks.
    • 5)Brains aren't everything..In fact in your case they are nothing.
    • 6)Careful now..don't let ur brains go to ur head.
    • 7)If i had a face like yours..i'd sue my parents.
    • 8)Keep talking..someday you'll say something intelligent.
    • 9)Fellows like you don't grow from trees,they swing from them..
    • 10)You are a living proof that man can live without brains.
    • 11)Hey how come ur here? i thought the zoo is closed at night.
    • 12)How did u get here?Did someone leave ur cage open.
    • ==================================
    • My favorite text message: "I'll be there in 5 minutes...if not, read this again."
    • ==================================
    • No Matter Where You Go..No Matter What You Do..If We Grow Apart..Or Come Closer Together..If You Fall In Love..And Forget All About Me..Or If You Came To Hate Me..I Want You To Know That I Will Always Love You..And Always Be There For You..No Matter Where Your Destiny Lies..You Will Always Be My Friend..And If Fate Tears Us Apart..Always Remember That No Matter How Long It Has Been Since We Talked..Or Why We Stopped Talking..If Life Brings You Down..I Will Always Be There For You..You Can Call Me Anytime..Anywhere..I Will Listin To You..I Wont Ever Judge You..And Always Remember..I Love You
    • ==================================
    • "I don't wish to be everything to everyone, but I would like to be something to someone."
    • ==================================
    • You know that girl who is always lost?
    • The one with the pretty smile that no one could tell is fake?
    • That girl who seems to be so strong, but daily continues to break?
    • You know, that girl who is always there and seems to have no problems of her own?
    • She's the one who holds back tears until you are off the phone.
    • That girl who is in love with a boy who tries to understand.
    • That girl who, if you reach out, always pulls back her hand?
    • You think: what a lonely life, what a sad girl she must be.
    • Maybe you didn't realize, but that girl is me...
    • ==================================
    • Don't ever give up if you still want to try, don't ever wipe your tears if you still want to cry. Don't ever settle for an answer if you still want to know. Don't ever say you don't love him if you can't let him go.
    • ==================================

    • *******The Top Ten Men!!********
    • 1. The Doctor because he says,"Take off
    • your clothes"
    • 2. The Dentist because he says,"Open Wide"
    • 3. The hairdresser because he says,"Do you
    • want it teased or blown"
    • 4. The Milkman because he says,"Do you
    • want it in front or in back?"
    • 5. The Interior Decorator because he
    • says,"Once you have it all in, you'll love it."
    • 6. The Banker because he says,"If you take
    • it out too soon, you'll lose interest"
    • 7. The Police Officer because he
    • says,"Spread 'em"
    • 8. The Mailman because he always delivers
    • his package.
    • 9. The Pilot because he takes off fast and
    • then slows down.
    • 10. The Hunter because he always goes deep
    • in the bush, shoots twice
    • - -unknown
    • Posted by TallGal005 in Men  ID#:14862
    • ==================================
    • If aliens are looking for intelligent life?! WHY THE HECK ARE YOU SCARED?!
    • ==================================
    • let's flip a coin.
    • heads, i'm yours.
    • tails, you're mine.
    • ==================================
    • I always give 100% in school:
    • monday: 11%
    • Tuesday: 26%
    • Wednesday: 49%
    • Thursday: 10%
    • Friday: 4%



    • ==================================

    • Hello,i am the friggin' happiness fairy.
    • I've sprinkled happy dust on you, So smile dammit!!This s**t is expensive!!
    • ==================================
    • The difference between a successful person and others is not a lack of strength, not a lack of knowledge, but rather in a lack of will.
    • ==================================
    • Courage is not living without fear.
    • Courage is being scared to death and doing the right thing anyway.
    • ==================================
    • Apologizing does not always mean that you are wrong and the other person is right. It just means that you value your relationship more than your ego.
    • ==================================
    • Sometimes you just need to distance yourself from people. If they care, they will notice and will be bothered. If they don't you know where you stand.
    • ==================================
    • To be the best, you must be able to handle the worst.
    • ==================================

    • No one is perfect until you fall in love with them.
    • ==================================
    • You want to know what happiness is? It's waking up in the middle of the night for no reason, shifting under the blankets and feeling the heat of the person next to you. You turn around and see him in his most peaceful, innocent and vulnerable state. He breathes as though the weight of the world lays on anyone's shoulder but his own. You smile, kiss his face in the most gentle manner so as not to wake him. You turn back around and involuntarily a grin forms on your own face. You feel an arm wrap around your waist, and in this moment, you know it doesn't get any better than this...
    • ==================================
    • Your weirdness is creeping my imaginary friend out. and if you dont stop it...he seriously just might eat you.
    • ==================================
    • The person who originally said “Never say never” is a hypocrite.
    • ==================================


    • Have you ever wondered why our noses run and our feet smell??
    • ==================================
    • Teenage Years
    • Big dreams
    • Stupid fights
    • Sleepy days
    • Endless nights
    • Broken hearts
    • Mascara tears
    • Cell phone bills
    • Report card fears
    • Clothes too tight
    • Shoes so high
    • Out past curfew
    • Another lie
    • Eyeshadow color
    • Midnight black
    • Lip gloss flavor
    • Cherry Attack
    • Belts with stars
    • Boys with cars
    • Just a taste of teenage years
    • When even your biggest problems
    • Are too small for tears !
    • ==================================
    • I am a poet writing of my pain.
    • I am a person living a life of shame.
    • I am your daughter hiding my depression.
    • I am your sister making a good impression.
    • I am your friend acting like Im fine.
    • I am a wisher wishing this life werent mine.
    • I am a girl who thinks of suicide.
    • I am a teenager pushing her tears aside.
    • I am a student who doesnt have a clue.
    • I am the girl sittin next to you.
    • I am the one asking you to care.
    • I am your best friend hoping youll be there.
    • ==================================
    • I hate it when my phone rings, and your name doesn't show. I hate it when I hear our song. It kills me long and slow. I hate the way you still smile at me, even though she's at your side. I hate the nights i'm all alone, and all the times I cried. I hate the way you say my name, or just the way you look. I hate the way I know you. How I can read you like a book. I hate the way I don't hate you, because I still love you so. I hate the way you'll never see, and the way you'll never know.
    • ==================================
    • people say you cannot live without love,
    • well, oxygen is more important
    • ==================================
    • The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.

    • ==================================

    • Sometimes the feelings you really mean are found in the letters which you write and never send.
    • ==================================
    • Heres to lying, stealing, cheating, and drinking.
    • If you must lie, lie with the one you love.
    • If you must steal, steal away from bad company.
    • If you must cheat, cheat death.
    • And if you drink, drink to the moments that take your breath away.
    • ==================================
    • if you notice this notice then you will notice this notice isn't worth noticing.
    • ==================================
    • Ben invited his mother over for dinner. During the meal, his mother couldn't help noticing how beautiful Ben's roommate was. She had long been suspicious of a relationship between Ben and his roommate and this only made her more curious.

    • Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between Ben and the roommate than met the eye. Reading his mom's thoughts, Ben volunteered, "I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you, Allison and I are just roommates."

    • About a week later, Allison came to Ben and said, "Ever since your mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find the beautiful silver gravy ladle. "You don't suppose she took it, do you?"

    • Ben said, "Well, I doubt it, but I'll write her a letter just to be sure."

    • So he sat down and wrote: "Dear Mother, I'm not saying you 'did' take a gravy ladle from my house, and I'm not saying you 'did not' take a gravy ladle. But the fact remains that one has been missing ever since you were here for dinner."

    • Several days later, Ben received a letter from his mother which read:

    • "Dear Son, I'm not saying that you 'do' sleep with Allison, and I'm not saying that you 'do not' sleep with Allison. But the fact remains that if she was sleeping in her own bed, she would have found the gravy ladle by now. Love, Mom"




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