food status 2016


  • Dear food commercials, No one eats in slow motion with their eyes closed. Sincerely, normal people.. 
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  • Alcohol - Because no good story started with someone eating a salad. 
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  • The awkward moment when you`re eating dinner at someone else`s house & you don`t like the food, but you have to pretend to like it. 
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  • "Is there gonna be food?" "Yeah""Ok then i`m coming." 
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  • Mom, can we go to McDonalds?" "there`s food in the fridge." "That`s not what I asked..
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  • Dear Fridge, I will be back in 35 minutes, please go shopping. Sincerely, Hungry as hell! 
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  • You cannot taste me, until you undress me. Sincerely, banana. 
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  • I`m not hungry. But, I am bored. Therefore, I shall eat... :D 


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  • Everything sucks...............................................except FOOD 
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  • Accomplishing things before the microwave hits 00:00. 
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  • Just finished my 6 minute upper body workout-it was pretty easy:arm down,pick up food,arm up,put food in mouth, switch arms :) 
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  • really doesn`t get why people like brunch. What`s the benefit of combining break-dancing and lunch? 
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  • Okay, can someone please invent the opposite of a microwave. I need my beer cold, now. And no, the freezer is not fast enough :) 
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  • Me:The world can`t end in 2016. Someone:Really?Why? Me:My snack bar doesn`t expire until 2016
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  • When I hear myself eating crunchy food, I wonder if other people can hear it too. 
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  • You can`t buy happiness.but you can buy ice cream,which is kinda the same thing (; 
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  • There was a piece of chocolate cake in the fridge and a note, “Don’t eat me.” Now there’s an empty plate and a note, Don’t tell me what to do. 
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  • "ughh I`m so full".."who wants dessert?".."MEEE!!!" 
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  • LIKE if you can`t tell the difference between coke & pepsi. 
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  • I`m not hungry. But, I am bored. Therefore, I shall eat. Story of every person`s life. 
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  • When you`re stressed you eat ice cream, cake, chocolate, and sweets.. Why? Because `Stressed` spelled backwards is `Desserts` :) 
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  • The first sip of a hot beverage is always the scariest sip. 
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  • Never make eye contact while eating a banana. 
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  • thinks chocolate is cheaper than therapy and you don’t need an appointment. 


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