Hindi jokes best new 2016


  • I want to suck you
  • lick you
  • wanna move my tongue all over you
  • wanna feel you in my mouth
  • yep, that’s how you
  • eat an ice cream!

  •  funny adult joke
  • Always start your day with a lot of… S E X
  • S – SMILE
  • E – ENERGY
  • X – XCITEMENT
  • so make S E X a daily habit, and youll always B SUCC SEX FUL! in LIFE.

  •  adult joke of the day
  • Come here,
  • take off your pents and knickers,
  • get on top of me,
  • enjoy until u get satisfied,
  • loving yours…..
  • toilet!

  •  funny short adult jokes
  • Lastnite i went 2 bed without u..
  • cold,naked,thinking of u,
  • missing ur warmth,
  • ur soft touch against my skin.
  • Where were u “lastnite”

  •  adult sms jokes
  • Sardar on phone:

  • Doctor my wife is pergnant.She is having pain right now.

  • Doctor: Is this her first child?

  • Sardar: No this is her husband speaking‚¦

  •  good adult jokes
  • A girl phoned me
  • the other day and said …
  • “Come on over, there’s nobody home.”
  • I went over. Nobody was home

  •  funny short adult jokes
  • NURSE kept SARDAR’S FINGER in HER MOUTH
  • after BLOOD TEST.
  • THEN SARDAR STARTED DANCING .
  • NURSE:y r u DANCING.
  • SARDAR:next is URINE TEST

  •  adult sms jokes
  • What’s an average 6 inch long
  • Inside a guy’s pants and girls love to blow it up?
  • ?
  • ?
  • ?
  • ?
  • A:1000- rupee currency note.!
  • Always think positive

  •  adult funny jokes
  • A fat NRI sardarni goes to a gurudwara with a mannat.

  • She tells giani : Gianai ji, main aaj bhot vaddi aass leke aayi han.

  • Giani : Main vekhya, jaddo tussi matthha tekya.

  •  adult dirty jokes
  • Fair & lovely ke ad ma face dikhaya
  • Ponds ke ad ma hath dikhaya
  • Pentene ke ad ma baal dikhaye
  • Phir always ke ad ma cheating kyun?





  • Let me kiss ur lips,
  • let me feel ur teeth,
  • let me feel ur tongue.
  • SMILE!
  • This is ur friend
  • “PEPSODENT”
  • reminding you to brush ur teeth,
  • Twice a day Everyday :)

  •  funny dirty adult jokes
  • Catch her by her waist…
  • Bring her home..
  • Keep ur hand on her neck
  • Put ur lips on her lips
  • & have a …
  • …nice drink…PEPSI

  •  latest hindi adult sms
  • lund pe aitbaar kisko hai…
  • mil jaaye chodney ko to inkar kis ko hai…
  • Kuch mushkilen hai chut paane me dost
  • Warna muth marne se pyaar kisko hai…

  •  adult sms in 140 words
  • Sadhu fati dhoti pehan ker ghar se nikalta hai aur mandir mein

  • puja ke liye jhukta hai. Ek aurat sadhu ki gand ko gullak samajh kar

  • us mein ek sikka daal deti hai. Sadhu seedha ho ke bolta hai:

  • “Ab ghanti bhi bhaja do“

  •  adult birthday sms
  • Ik Larki thi dewaani si…

  • Ik Larkay pe wo mar…

  • Kuch lena tha usay…

  • Lakin pregnancy se wo darti thi..

  • Jab bi milti thi muijhey….

  • Ye hi pocha karti thi…..

  • Ye “CONDOM” kAHAN SE MILTA HAI
  • Ye “CONDOM” kAHAN SE MILTA HAI

  •  free adult sms jokes
  • PAPA : vo kon si cheez hai jis k charoo taraf baal hotay hain
  • SON : papa may bataoo
  • PAPA :nahi tum chup rahoo
  • SON : may batata hoo ….. AANKH
  • PAPA : ohh haan
  • SON : to kya aap lun samajh rahay thay

  •  short funny adult jokes
  • 2 men went 2 a callgirl.
  • 1st went in and came out n said
  • “Na my wife is better.”
  • 2nd went in and came out n said
  • “U R right ur wife is much better.”

  •  adult joke pictures
  • I really deeply wish dat
  • u r here with me in my room.
  • on my bed & lights is off &
  • we get under the cover together..
  • 2 show u my glow in the dark watch.

  •  adult sms jokes funny
  • 6 Inch ka hai.

  • .

  • Size normal he

  • .

  • .

  • Mazboot he

  • .

  • .

  • Ziyadah mota bhi nahin he

  • .

  • .

  • 2 larkiyan dekh chuki hain

  • .

  • .

  • Lena he to bolo?

  • Full Time Masti

  • Non stop Fun

  • Mera…

  • .

  • LG Mobile 195

  •  free joke
  • He came at night,
  • explored my body,
  • got on top of me,
  • touched me, he bit,
  • sucked, swalowd,
  • when he was satisfyed,
  • he left, i was hurt,
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • BLOODY… MOSQUITO 




  • A beautiful girl goes to Professor cabin
  • and
  • say
  • that i will do anything to pass in the exams
  • and professor says
  • NOW OPEN YOUR
  • .

  •  adult humor joke
  • Most interesting line written
  • on the front of T-shirt of a girl,
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • Excuse me !
  • My face is above.;-)

  •  great adult jokes
  • Girl:Its 2 tight
  • Boy:Dont worry,Ill do it slowly,
  • Gal:Push it in,
  • Boy:Ah..I cant,
  • Gal:Its painful,
  • Boy:Forget it.
  • .

  • great adult jokes
  •  funny adult jokes sms
  • 1 Admi k Pas 10 inch ka Lora tha.

  • Dost ne Pocha k ye kahan se lia hai?

  • Wo bola k Pahar k pas 1 baba betha hai us se jo mango daita hai,

  • lekin itna khayal rahy k wo ooncha sunta hai.

  • Dost baba k pas Gya aur bola baba ji Mujhe HEERAY ki Bori do.

  • Baba ne kuch parha to bori aa gai;

  • wo le kr jb neechay aaya to us main KHEERAY thay.

  • Us ne dost ko btaya k yar main ne to Heeray mangay thay Magar ye to Kheeray hain.

  • Dost ne jwab dia k ‘Tumhain btaya to tha k baba ooncha sunta hai;

  • Ab tujhy kia lgta hai k main ne 10 inch ka LORA manga tha??

  •  awesome jokes for adults
  • It’s the thing that satisfies
  • ur mind, body & soul!
  • Do it on bed, on a sofa,
  • in the car or anywhere!
  • It’s called Prayer!
  • God bless ur naughty mind.

  •  adult sms in punjabi
  • Pahari
  • Humare Paharon Ma
  • “I Luv U” Bolo Tu Awaaz Aata Ha
  • “Luv U. Luv U”

  • Punjabi:
  • Ae Keri Gal Ae
  • Saaday Pind Vich Awaz Maro
  • “Teri Maa Di.”
  • Te Vapas Awaz Aandi Ae
  • “Teri Pehen Di”
  • “Teri Niki Di”
  • “Teri Waddi Di”.

  •  funny adult joke
  • Can we do romance in the midnight today?
  • I’m in a good mood:)
  • Just a little bit of kissing and biting!!
  • Reply me soon,
  • yours Loving Mosquito.

  •  awesome jokes for adults
  • Boy:what is that u keep in ur mouth
  • which is 6″ long
  • and move it in and out
  • and wait for a white substance to come out?

  • Girl: y do u ask such question to me.
  • i cant tell such words

  •  short funny adults jokes
  • A man while making love to his maid,
  • exclaimed ‘Martha ur are sweeter than my wife’

  • The maid smiled and said
  • ‘i know ‘cos the driver always tells me so’

  •  adult jokes hindi
  • A young girl after her honeymoon
  • came fully exhausted and tired,

  • When her friends asked her what happened?

  • She replied :
  • When this 70 year old bastard told me
  • he has saved a lot from last 50 years,

  • “I thought It was MONEY”





  • I want to suck you
  • lick you
  • wanna move my tongue all over you
  • wanna feel you in my mouth
  • yep, that’s how you
  • eat an ice cream!

  •  adult joke of the day
  • In a bath room,
  • a boy touches a girl everywhere!
  • You Know whose that boy?
  • Stupid It’s Lifeboy Soap!
  • Dirty people always think dirty.

  •  adult sms jokes
  • Come here,
  • take off your pents and knickers,
  • get on top of me,
  • enjoy until u get satisfied,
  • loving yours…..
  • toilet!

  •  latest adult sms in hindi
  • Ek Baar Akbar , Birbal Aur Akbar Ki Begum Bagiche Mein Ghoomne Jaate Hai Ghoomte Ghoomte Woh Ek Ped Ke Niche Aate Hai .
  • Akbar : “birbal , Humko Begum Ke Saath Kuch Waqt Bitana Hai To Tum Ped Ke Upar Jaakar Bait Jao”
  • Toh Birbal Jaakar Ped Ke Upar Bait Jaata Hai. Thode Samay Ke Baad.
  • Birbal : ” Jahapana Main Upar Se Sab Dekh Raha Hoon Aap Mere Samane Rani Ko Chod Nahi Sakte”
  • Akbar : “yeah Tum Kya Keh Rahe Ho Main Kaha Rani Ko Chod Raha Hoon”
  • Birbal : “nahi Jhoot Mat Boliye Aap Khud Yaha Aakar Dekhiye Shaayad Yeh Jaaduyi Ped Hai “
  • Asliyat Main Akbar Nichr Kuch Bhi Nahi Karta Rahta Hai Phir Bhi Woh Ped Ke Upar Jaata Hai . Doosre Taraf Se Birbal Niche Aakar Begum Ka Gaand Marta Hai .
  • Akbar : “arey! Birbal Tum Sahi Kehte Ho Yeah Jaduyi Ped Hai Yaha Se Aisa Lagta Hai Ki Koi Rani Ka Chod Raha Hai “

  •  one liner adult jokes
  • A girl phoned me
  • the other day and said …
  • “Come on over, there’s nobody home.”
  • I went over. Nobody was home

  •  jokes adult
  • NURSE kept SARDAR’S FINGER in HER MOUTH
  • after BLOOD TEST.
  • THEN SARDAR STARTED DANCING .
  • NURSE:y r u DANCING.
  • SARDAR:next is URINE TEST

  •  desi adult jokes
  • What’s an average 6 inch long
  • Inside a guy’s pants and girls love to blow it up?
  • ?
  • ?
  • ?
  • ?
  • A:1000- rupee currency note.!
  • Always think positive

  •  adult sms jokes
  • Love is a gamble,
  • Sex is a game,
  • Boyz do the thing
  • Girls get the blame,
  • 1 night in pleasure
  • 9 months of pain
  • 1 day in hospital and
  • a junior needs a name

  •  latest adult hindi sms
  • Duniya Me Sabse Himmat Wala Kon?
  • Ans: DHOBI
  • Kisi k Bhi Ghar Ja ke Keh Sakta Hai
  • Sahab, Madam Ko Bolo
  • Kapde Nikal K Rakhen
  • Main Abhi A kar Leta Hon.

  •  funny adult sms hindi
  • Girl to her mother: Mama , main kaise paida hui thi?

  • Mother Baita tumhein pari le kar ayi thi.

  • Girl: Acha to papa pari ke saat bhi vo kartay thay?




  • Chalti bus may jagha na milnay par 1 bachi ko baba je nay goud may bitha lia.

  • Kuch dair baad larki khari hoi aur gussay say boli

  • Baba ji Ya isko bitha lo ya mujhe

  •  hindi adult joke sms
  • 1 Dehaati Red Dhoti aur White Banyaan main jaraha tha,

  • Kuch larkiyon ne dekha to kaha: Oh Oh Read & White

  • Dehaati ne Dhoti uthai aur bola: King Size Filter

  •  free hindi adult sms
  • लड़का – मुझसे शादी कर लो मेरा बहुत लंबा है लड़की – क्या लड़का – अनुभव लड़की – ओके मेरा भी काफ़ी गहरा है लड़का – क्या ..

  •  adult sms jobs
  • Girls Hostel ki light chali gayi.
  • Ek ladki ne electric office me phone karke kaha:
  • Light chali gayi hai. aadmi bhejo.
  • Replied “Aadmi nahi hai, mombatti se hi kaam chala lo.”

  •  adult hindi sms
  • Girls Hostel ki light chali gayi.
  • Ek ladki ne electric office me phone karke kaha:
  • Light chali gayi hai. aadmi bhejo.
  • Replied “Aadmi nahi hai, mombatti se hi kaam chala lo.”

  •  funny hindi adult sms
  • us ne kaha or dabao,
  • main dabaya,
  • us ne kaha or dabao,
  • main ne or dabaya,
  • us ne kaha baniyan nikal do phir dabao,
  • main ne phir dabaya,
  • us ne kaha pent bhi nikal do phir dabao,
  • main ne phir dabaya . . . Â
  • dekha ho gya na suit case band:

  •  non veg adult sms
  • pahlay hat ma lo
  • phir mon mai lo
  • phir thook lagao
  • phir sidha karoo
  • phir sorakh ma daloo
  • uff..
  • kithna muskhil ha soi mai dagha dalna

  •  adult free sms
  • Pehle KISS karo,
  • phir PALANG per leta do,
  • phir CHADDI utar do,
  • phir NICHE haath lagao,
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • Aur check karo k
  • BABY ne SU SU to nahi kiya na

  •  funny adult sms urdu
  • Usne utari saree
  • fir aayi peticoat ki bari
  • blouse to pahle hi diya tha utar
  • ziyadah excited mat ho yaar
  • yeh tha kapray sukhane ka taar ….!

  •  adult sms mobile
  • Beti: Maa Gaon mein Fauji aaye hain
  • Maa: andar aaja inki niyat bahut kharab hoti hai

  • Beti: Maa fauji Pakistani hain
  • Maa: to bakri ko bhi andar le aa.




  • Insan jb pehli bar dalta hy to wo confuse hota hay
  • magar tum na ghabrana or dal dena
  • tum jese hi rakho ge wo khud andar chala jaye ga
  • phir thumein acha lagnay lagay ga
  • or
  • phir ajeeb ajeeb awazen ayen gi,
  • or phr jub tumhari money nikal jaye
  • to tum nikal lena apna ATM

  •  sms adult jokes
  • 6 Inch ka hai.
  • .
  • Size normal he
  • .
  • .
  • Mazboot he
  • .
  • .
  • Ziyadah mota bhi nahin he
  • .
  • .
  • 2 larkiyan dekh chuki hain
  • .
  • .
  • Lena he to bolo?

  • Full Time Masti

  • Non stop Fun

  • Mera…
  • .
  • LG KG 195

  •  adult text sms
  • teri sula ke lu?
  • ya bitha ke lu?
  • ya tujhe karu khada
  • ya fir teri juka-jukake lu?
  • ab tu hi bata
  • ki mein teri…
  • photo kaise lu.

  •  jokes adult sms
  • Aik bar karo na plz..
  • kisi ko pata nahi chalega..
  • plz karo naaa……..
  • muje acha lage ga…
  • aik bar hamari dosti ki khatri
  • kar do na plzz…
  • aik pyara sa SMS!!!

  •  funny adult sms jokes
  • Sardar : Yar meri biwi pani se bohat darti hai.
  • Friend : Acha wo kaise?

  • Sardar : Yar kal mein ghar gaya to wo bathtub
  • mai bhi security guard k sath bethi thi.!!

  •  adult sms in urdu
  • 1 girl ask 2 pappu : woh kia hai jo cow k paas 4 or mere paas 2 hain?
  • pappu : legs

  • Girl : woh kia hai jo tumhari pant main hai aur meri pant mein nahi hai?
  • pappu: paisay

  • Girl : woh kia hai jo log din main karne k bajaye ko raat bistar pe kartay hain
  • pappu: neend puri karte hain

  • girl : woh kia hai jo larki pehli daffa karwate huye pain
  • ki wajah se roti hai?
  • pappu : kaan main ched.

  •  gujarati adult sms
  • Santa – aj tv ma 30 ft no sap batavana 6.

  • Banta – pn hu nai joi sku.

  • Santa – km?

  • Banta – maru tv 21 inch nu 6.

  •  tamil adult sms
  • Man 1: Oru nimishathula 130 name solla mudiyuma? Man 2: Mudiyadhu, niye sollu… Man 1: 100mohmed, 9thara, 6mugam, 7malai, 5ali, and 3sha. kooti PARU KANAKU SARIA VARUM

  •  marathi adult sms
  • What Dose Girl Friends Say After Sex?
  • That Was Great
  • No!

  • I Love U
  • No!

  • Tumhala Sangitla Hota Na Ki Chaddi Ikde Tikde Feku Naka..

  •  adult sms services
  • In a party a lady wanted
  • to go to toilet so
  • she inquired with a sardar
  • papaji susu karne ki jagah dikhao,

  • sardarji replied u naughty
  • pehle tum dikhao.




  • देखा तो दोस्त की सहेली थी,

  • दोस्ती हुई तो दिल मे आग लगेली थी,

  • प्यार हुआ तो एक पहेली थी,

  • फिर जब शादी हुआ तो पता चला वो उस एरिया की चमेली थी.

  •  adult mobile sms
  • पप्पू सांता से कोठे की सिढिओ पर मिल गया

  • पप्पू:- पापा आप यहाँ क्या कर रहे हो?

  • सांता:- यार अब 200-300 रुपये के पीछे तेरी मम्मी के नखरे नही सहे
  • जाते!

  •  adult sms pics
  • कहो सांता जी सुहाग रात कैसी रही?

  • कुछ मत पूछो यार! पहले 5-6 बार तो मिस्ड कॉल लगी और जब सही
  • नंबर लगा तो बैलँसे नील हो गया?

  •  adult sms hindi
  • Boy 2 girl- juba pe jab bhi tera naam aata hai,

  • ye haath niche chala jata hai,
  • tujhe pane k liye kuch bhi kar jaunga,
  • ek bar dede warna “HILA HILA” k mar jaunga.

  •  adult sms pictures
  • son saw a parents having sex and said: dad whats up?

  • DAD: tere maa may petrol bhar raha hoon.

  • son : mom ki average check karien, raat ko uncle bhi tank full ker kay gain the.

  •  adult sms hindi
  • 2 aurton ne driving sikhna shru ki, Jb 2no k husband apas may milay 2 ek bola Meri BV ko pata nhi kya hogaya hy Raat ko sote hue mera pakar kr kehti hy.. “1st gear 2nd gear” Dosra bola Ye tu kuch b nhi hy Meri BV tu sotay may dono tangen khol kr kahti hai chabi lagao.

  •  very adult sms
  • संता एक बार कपड़े प्रेस करवाने धोबी के पास गया.

  • धोबी की बीवी बाहर बैठी होती है और एक दम मस्त और चका चक माल होती है

  • संता की उसको देख के नियत खराब हो जाती है और वो उसको बोलता है: “100 रुपए दूँगा, देगी?”

  • धोबी की बीवी भी बिंदास थी, बोली: “500 रुपए मैं तुझे दूँगी, मेरे पति का ले ले“

  •  santa banta adult sms
  • एक डॉक्टर संता के पीछे ब्लेड लेके भाग रहा था और चिल्ला रहा था: ठहर जा कुत्ते कमीने, एक बार हाथ लग जा तेरे को जान से मार दूँगा.

  • ये सुन कर कुछ लोगो ने डॉक्टर को पकड़ा और पूछा : भाई साहब हुआ क्या है, क्यू उसको मरने पे तुले हो?

  • डॉक्टर रोते हुए: ये साला है ही हरामी, पिछली 4 बार से ऐसा ही कर रहा है, नसबंदी करवाने आता है और झाँटे कटवा कर भाग जाता है.

  •  desi adult sms
  • चाहो तो दिल से हमको मिटा देना,

  • चाहो तो हमको भुला देना,

  • हमारी याद आए तो कभी रोना नही,

  • बस गा#ड़ में उंगली डालके हिला लेना!!

  •  adult non veg sms
  • सांता को एक दिन हिचकी आई और साथ में उसका लं* भी खड़ा हो गया

  • सांता:- “अरे वाह लगता है बलबीर भाई के साथ भाभी जी भी याद कर रही है




  • कहो सांता जी सुहाग रात कैसी रही?

  • कुछ मत पूछो यार! पहले 5-6 बार तो मिस्ड कॉल लगी और जब सही नंबर लगा तो बैलँसे नील हो गया?

  •  hindi adult sms jokes
  • इश्क़ के सहारे जिया नही करते,

  • गम के प्यालो को पिया नही करते,

  • कुछ दोस्त भोसड़ी के ऐसे भी होते हैं…

  • जिनके गाड़ मे जब तक उंगली ना करो, याद भी नही करते!

  •  funny adult sms
  •  adult sms text messages
  • Woman: I had Sex wid only 4 boyz in my entire life and U had it wid 16 Girls, still, Everybody Calls me a SLUT and Cal u a REAL MAN,

  • A Winner?
  • Why?

  • Man: It’s because,

  • when a Lock is Opened by many Keys,
  • it Becomes a BAD LOCK.

  • But when a Key Opens many Locks,
  • it becomes a MASTER KEY.

  •  hindi funny adult sms
  • Hello hello mera lelo kya? Salam. bolo bolo apni kholo. kya? ZUban DEkho apni khol k dekho kya ? AAnkhien Kitna bara hai mera kya? DIL

  •  nonveg adult sms
  • Saali-Jijaji is paheli ka jawab do,
  • Masal Masal ke khada kiya aur thook laga ke Ghusa diya..
  • Jija- Maar khayegi,
  • Sali-Aarre Jijaji SUI ME DHAGA…Aap bi..

  •  adult sms jokes
  • Doctor to Female : Kya aap delivery ke time baache ke pita ko apne paas dekhna chahenge? Female : Nahi, unhe mere pati pasand nahi karte!!! **************************************** Ek rangile ne apne girlfriend ke kuch jyada hi kareeb aane ki koshish

  •  latest adult sms
  • Father: Tum meri beti ko kab se pyar karte ho..? Boy: 4 mahine se.. Fathar: Main kese yaqeen kar lun..? Boy: 5 mahine baad khud hi yaqeen aa jae ga:-

  •  adult sms 140
  • Ek baar ek bandar ne insaan se pooncha.. “tum mein aur mujh mein kya fark hai?” Insaan bola “Tum daal par uchhalte ho.. hum daal kar uchhalte hain

  •  punjabi adult sms
  • Girl to teacher: Sir, class de sare munde meinu bhua bhua kehnde ne.

  • Teacher: Kon kon ehnu bhua kehnda hai, hath kada karu.

  • Sante to bina sab ne hath kada kar lita.

  • Teacher: Sante, tu ehnu bhua nahi kehda?

  • Santa: Sir, mein te ehna sab da FUFFARH han.

  • * * *

  • Bhikhari: Saab, coffee peen vaste 20 Rs de do.

  • Saab: Par coffee te 10 Rs di aandi a.

  • Bhikhari: Naal girlfriend vi a.

  • Saab: Wah! bhikahri ho ke girlfriend vi bana lai a.

  • Bhikhari: Nahi saab, girlfriend ne bhikhari bana dita a




  • TENDULKER.wife k sath sex karte hue:
  • Darling pitch sahi nhi Ghas buhat hai
  • short nahi lag rahay,
  • Wife:Jhoot mat bolo
  • abhi isi pitch per AFRIDI century maar k gaya.

  •  free adult sms
  • IK JHALAK HI KAFI HOTI HEY TERI
  • DIL KO DEEWANA BANANEY KEY LIYE
  • TUMNEY ITNI BARI SHALWAR PEHEN LI
  • ITNI CHOTI SI CHEEZ CHUPANEY KE LIYE

  •  adult sms messages
  • Na hum aids say dartay hain,
  • na hi condum say keraty hain,

  • hum to duniya say dartay hain,
  • is lia haath say keraty hain,

  • **HAPPY MUTH DAY*

  •  adult funny sms
  • son saw a parents having sex”dad whats up? DAD:tere maa may petrol bhar raha hoon.

  • son :mom ki average check karien,raat ko uncle bhi tank full ker kay gain hain”

  •  dirty adult sms
  • Man: Sex ho jaye?
  • Wife: No.
  • Man: Jewellary le dunga.
  • Wife: No.
  • Man: Car le dunga.
  • Wife: No, No, No.
  • Beta so raha tha, bich me bola, Meri marlo, Cycle la dena.

  •  clean jokes adults
  • What’s an average 6 inch long
  • Inside a guy’s pants and girls love to blow it up?
  • ?
  • ?
  • ?
  • ?
  • A:1000- rupee currency note.!
  • Always think positive

  •  adult jokes sms
  • What is the perfect example
  • of both Good & Bad Luck?

  • The naughty wind blows the girl’s skirt high (Good luck)

  • but at the same time

  • Dust falls into the boy’s eyes (Bad luck)

  •  funny jokes for adults
  • Love is a gamble,
  • Sex is a game,
  • Boyz do the thing
  • Girls get the blame,
  • 1 night in pleasure
  • 9 months of pain
  • 1 day in hospital and
  • a junior needs a name

  •  adult joke sms
  • Boy and girl of class 2 asked teacher:
  • “can kids of our age have kids?”

  • Teacher replied ” NO Never!!”

  • Boy said to girl :
  • “see i told you not to worry!!!!”.

  •  party jokes for adults
  • A short thing
  • its get longer as u hold it
  • & pass between woman’s breast
  • & enters into a small hole
  • What is it?





  • Sardar sent SMS to his BOSS:
  • “Me sick, no work”
  • Boss SMS back:
  • “When I am sick I kiss my wife try it”
  • 2 hours later sardar sms 2 boss:
  • “Me ok, ur wife very sweet”

  •  hot jokes for adults
  • In a party a lady wanted
  • to go to toilet so
  • she inquired with a sardar
  • papaji susu karne ki jagah dikhao,

  • sardarji replied u naughty
  • pehle tum dikhao.

  •  new adult jokes
  • Fair & lovely ke ad ma face dikhaya
  • Ponds ke ad ma hath dikhaya
  • Pentene ke ad ma baal dikhaye
  • Phir always ke ad ma cheating kyun?

  •  free adults joikes
  • Santa and Jeeto were planning to go on a second honeymoon for their 10th wedding anniversary.

  • Jeeto said, “We will go to all the same places that we did on our first honeymoon.”

  • “As you wish,” said Santa.

  • “Will we do all the things that we did on our first honeymoon?” asked Jeeto.

  • “Ok,” said Santa.

  • “And will we make love like we did on our first honeymoon?” asked Jeeto.

  • “That’s right,” said Santa, “except this time I get to sit on the side of the bed and cry, ‘It’s too big, it’s too big!'”

  •  hindi adult sms
  • Math Teacher..1 me 2 Dalain Tu kya Hota hy?

  • Girl: miss yeh to ap ka hi hosla he hmari to 1 se hi jaan nikal jati he..

  •  funny short adult jokes
  • A population control program had been introduced in a remote village, but the doctors were having trouble getting the women to take their birth control pills. They decided, therefore, to concentrate on teaching the men to wear condoms.

  • Doctor told Santa, who had 4 children in four years, that he absolutely had to wear a condom. Doctor explained that as long as he wore it his wife could not have another baby.

  • About a month later Santa’s wife, Jeeto, came in and she was pregnant. The doctor got very angry. He called Santa in and gave him a long lecture through an interpreter. He asked Santa why he hadn’t worn the condom.

  • The interpreter said, “He swears he did wear it. He never took it off.”

  • The doctor shook his head. “In that case, ask him how in the heck his wife is pregnant again?”

  • “He says,” said the interpreter, “that after six days he had to pee so badly that he cut the end off.”

  •  adult sms jokes
  • Santa and Jeeto were planning to go on a second honeymoon for their 10th wedding anniversary.

  • Jeeto said, “We will go to all the same places that we did on our first honeymoon.”

  • “As you wish,” said Santa.

  • “Will we do all the things that we did on our first honeymoon?” asked Jeeto.

  • “Ok,” said Santa.

  • “And will we make love like we did on our first honeymoon?” asked Jeeto.

  • “That’s right,” said Santa, “except this time I get to sit on the side of the bed and cry, ‘It’s too big, it’s too big!'”

  •  adult funny jokes
  • Helen was in her late thirties and still not married. She just had a hard time meeting men. And the men she did meet all ended up being jerks. Finally, she decided to place an ad in the personals in the newspaper.

  • Helen wrote: “Looking for a man who wont beat me, wont leave me, and is excellent in bed.” ..

  • Several days went by and she hadnt gotten a single call. Then, one day she was doing her laundry when she heard a knock on the door. She walked upstairs to answer it. She opened the door and saw a man in a wheelchair with no arms and no legs.

  • “Can I help you?” Helen asked. .. He said, “I am the man of your dreams!” .. Helen was baffled. She said, “Excuse me.” .. “I read your personal ad in the paper and I am the perfect man for you. I have no arms, so I cant beat you. I have no legs, so I can never leave you.” .. “But are you good in bed?” Helen asked. .. He replied, “How do you think I knocked on the door?!”

  •  funny adults jokes
  • Jab tere chikoo the, sab tere pichhu the,

  • jab tere aam hue, sab pareshan hue,

  • jab tere kharbuje hue, bade ajube hue,

  • jab tere jhool gaye, sab tujhe bhool gaye.

  •  funny adult jokes
  • On a lonely island which dont have any animal or human being a plane crashes.

  • all the passangers leaving a sardar and a goat died.

  • now sardar is alone with the goat. many days passed like that.

  • as island is full of vegetables and fruits sardar and goat dont have any problem of eating.

  • one day sardar is feeling very horny, but he is not able to satisfy his sexual desire.

  • he thought of f~cking goat.

  • but whenever he want to f~ck her, goat throw her legs and so sardar is not able to f~ck her.

  • after few days one more plane crashes and all the passangers leaving a beautiful girl died.

  • as girl had got many injuries, sardar helped her a lot.

  • by the help of sardar she got well very soon.

  • and thanked sardar and told him that he can do anything for him.

  • then sardar asked her that can u do anything.

  • girl said yes.

  • then sardar told her held the legs of this goat as i like to f~ck her.




  • American Aur Desi

  • american aur desi mein kya farak hota hai?

  • american kaam ko dimaak mein aur c ko l pe rakhta hai .

  • Aur desi c ko dimaak mein aur kaam ko l pe rakhta hai

  •  adults jokes
  • A sardar was hurrly fucing a girl in a car!

  • A policeman came and asked the sardar what r u doing?

  • Sardar said i am fucing a girl

  • The policeman said now its my turn,

  • The sardar said i have never fuced a policeman?

  •  adult jokes funny
  • My Life was in darkness before i met u, but now it is bright.u know why? Coz u r a “Tubelight

  •  adult jokes sms
  • A young girl after her honeymoon
  • came fully exhausted and tired,

  • When her friends asked her what happened?

  • She replied :
  • When this 70 year old bastard told me
  • he has saved a lot from last 50 years,

  • “I thought It was MONEY”

  •  funny jokes for adults
  • A short thing
  • its get longer as u hold it
  • & pass between woman’s breast
  • & enters into a small hole
  • What is it?

  • Ans. cars seat belt…u dirty mind

  •  adult joke sms
  • Unlike others, ur brain is a masterpiece. it has 2 halves the left & the right The left has nothing right in it & d right has nothing left in it.

  •  new adult jokes
  • Boy:what is that u keep in ur mouth
  • which is 6? long
  • and move it in and out
  • and wait for a white substance to come out?

  • Girl: y do u ask such question to me.
  • i cant tell such words

  • Boy:dont worry its tooth brush

  •  filthy adult jokes
  • Do you like maths,
  • if so add a bed,
  • subtract ur clothes,
  • divide your legs and
  • can we multiply?

  •  one liner jokes adults
  • An engineering student to his sweeper brother: I have got degree, I have got knowledge, I can sit in society. What do you have? Sweeper: I have the job.

  •  funny dirty adult jokes
  • Gabbar: Basanti chaddi utar. Viru: nahi Basantiin kutto ke samne chaddi mat utarna. Basanti: Viru dar mat maine chaddi pahni hi nahi hai…



  • Sex is a sensation caused by temptation,
  • when a man puts his location in a woman’s destination,
  • did U understand the explination or
  • would U like a demonstration?

  •  short funny adults jokes
  • Man said passionately: Will you marry me? My father is a millionaire and 93 years old. He is going to die soon and then I shall be very very rich. What do you say? She said nothing but a week later, she became his mother!

  •  one liner adult jokes
  • PHILOSOPHY : small things hurt a lot Example : u can sit on a mountain but not on a pin…

  •  funny short adult jokes
  • Life is like a P–nIS. Sometimes up somtms down, smtms hard smtms soft, smtms small smtms big, smtmms in smtms out. So enjoy da PE-iS….OOOps, I mean life.

  •  adult sms jokes
  • Utility of Mangalsutra?

  • Licence 2 enjoy Kamasutra without Condom..

  • Whats the utility of a Condom?

  • Licence to enjoy Kamasutra without the Mangalsutra…

  •  adult funny jokes
  • What is the difference When
  • A Girl Wears A Mini Skirt &
  • A Boy Wears a Mini Skirt?

  • Ans:
  • The Girl Will Look
  • SEXY
  • &
  • The Boy
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • A CHURCH BELL! 😉

  •  funny adults jokes
  • Can you explain to me how this lipstick got on your collar? the suspicious wife sneered. No I cant the husband replied. I distinctly remember taking my shirt off.

  •  free adult jokes
  • Always start your day with a lot of… S E X
  • S – SMILE
  • E – ENERGY
  • X – XCITEMENT
  • so make S E X a daily habit, and youll always B SUCC SEX FUL! in LIFE.

  •  short adult jokes
  • Come here,
  • take off your pents and knickers,
  • get on top of me,
  • enjoy until u get satisfied,
  • loving yours…..
  • toilet!

  •  adult thanksgiving jokes
  • Sardar on phone:

  • Doctor my wife is pergnant.She is having pain right now.

  • Doctor: Is this her first child?

  • Sardar: No this is her husband speaking



  • A girl phoned me
  • the other day and said …
  • “Come on over, there’s nobody home.”
  • I went over. Nobody was home

  •  short jokes for adults
  • What’s an average 6 inch long
  • Inside a guy’s pants and girls love to blow it up?
  • ?
  • ?
  • ?
  • ?
  • A:1000- rupee currency note.!
  • Always think positive

  •  funny adults jokes hindi
  • What is the perfect example
  • of both Good & Bad Luck?

  • The naughty wind blows the girl’s skirt high (Good luck)

  • but at the same time

  • Dust falls into the boy’s eyes (Bad luck)

  •  adult jokes
  • Love is a gamble,
  • Sex is a game,
  • Boyz do the thing
  • Girls get the blame,
  • 1 night in pleasure
  • 9 months of pain
  • 1 day in hospital and
  • a junior needs a name

  •  best adult jokes
  • Boy and girl of class 2 asked teacher:
  • “can kids of our age have kids?”

  • Teacher replied ” NO Never!!”

  • Boy said to girl :
  • “see i told you not to worry!!!!”.

  •  funny jokes
  • A short thing
  • its get longer as u hold it
  • & pass between woman’s breast
  • & enters into a small hole
  • What is it?

  •  funniest adult jokes
  • In a party a lady wanted
  • to go to toilet so
  • she inquired with a sardar
  • papaji susu karne ki jagah dikhao,

  • sardarji replied u naughty
  • pehle tum dikhao.

  •  clean jokes adults
  • Come here,
  • take off your pents and knickers,
  • get on top of me,
  • enjoy until u get satisfied,
  • loving yours…..
  • toilet!

  •  funniest adult jokes ever
  • aaj tumhein akeiley mein…
  • le ja kar…
  • apney hontoon se eik…
  • k…
  • ki…
  • kis..
  • kiss…
  • kissa sunaon bili aur chohey ka……….

  •  short funny adult jokes
  • Lastnite i went 2 bed without u..

  • cold, naked, thinking of u…

  • missing ur warmth…

  • ur soft touch against my skin…

  • Where were u “lastnite”





  • Girl to boy: Tum larkay kisi larki mei
  • sub se pehlay kia daikhte ho ?

  • Boy: Yeh tou depend karta hai k
  • larki aa rahi hay ya ja rahi hai …:p

  •  adult short jokes
  • Pehle KISS karo,

  • phir PALANG per leta do,

  • phir CHADDI utar do,

  • phir NICHE haath lagao.

  •  funny adult joke
  • Sardar on phone…

  • Doctor my wife is pergnant.

  • She is having pain right now.

  • Doctor: Is this her first child?

  • Sardar:  No this is her husband speaking.

  •  free joke
  • A girl phoned me
  • the other day and said …
  • “Come on over, there’s nobody home.”
  • I went over. Nobody was home

  •  one liner jokes adults
  • Usne utari saree

  • fir aayi peticoat ki bari

  • blouse to pahle hi diya tha utar

  • ziyadah excited mat ho yaar

  • yeh tha kapray sukhane ka taar ….

  •  great adult jokes
  • NURSE kept SARDAR’S FINGER in HER MOUTH

  • after BLOOD TEST.

  • THEN SARDAR STARTED DANCING .

  • NURSE: y r u DANCING.

  • SARDAR: next is URINE TEST

  •  really funny adult jokes
  • What’s an average 6 inch long

  • Inside a guy’s pants and girls love to blow it up?

  • ?
  • ?
  • ?
  • ?
  • A: 1000$ currency note.

  • Always think positive

  •  jokes adult
  • What is the perfect example
  • of both Good & Bad Luck?

  • The naughty wind blows the girl’s skirt high (Good luck)

  • but at the same time

  • Dust falls into the boy’s eyes (Bad luck)

  •  adult sms jokes
  • Love is a gamble,

  • Sex is a game,

  • Boyz do the thing

  • Girls get the blame,

  • 1 night in pleasure

  • 9 months of pain

  • 1 day in hospital and

  • a junior needs a name!

  •  adult joke of the day
  • Beti: Maa Gaon mein Fauji aaye hain
  • Maa: andar aaja inki niyat bahut kharab hoti hai

  • Beti: Maa fauji Pakistani hain
  • Maa: to bakri ko bhi andar le aa.





  • Boy and girl of class 2 asked teacher:

  • “can kids of our age have kids?”

  • Teacher replied ” NO Never!!”

  • Boy said to girl :

  • “see i told you not to worry!!!!”.

  •  great adult jokes
  • A short thing
  • its get longer as u hold it
  • & pass between woman’s breast
  • & enters into a small hole
  • What is it?

  •  funny jokes adults
  • Insan jb pehli bar dalta hy to wo confuse hota hay
  • magar tum na ghabrana or dal dena
  • tum jese hi rakho ge wo khud andar chala jaye ga
  • phir thumein acha lagnay lagay ga
  • or
  • phir ajeeb ajeeb awazen ayen gi,
  • or phr jub tumhari money nikal jaye
  • to tum nikal lena apna ATM

  •  funny birthday jokes for adults
  • teri sula ke lu?

  • ya bitha ke lu?

  • ya tujhe karu khada

  • ya fir teri juka-jukake lu?

  • ab tu hi bata

  • ki mein teri…

  • photo kaise lu.

  •  short funny adults jokes
  • Aik bar karo na plz..

  • kisi ko pata nahi chalega…

  • plz karo naaa…

  • muje acha lage ga…

  • aik bar hamari dosti ki khatri…

  • kar do na plzz…

  • aik pyara sa SMS!!!

  •  Misc Joke
  • Two zebras are talking and one asks the other, “Am I black with white
  • stripes or white with black stripes?” The other replies, “Well I don’t
  • know. You should pray to God about that and ask him.” So that night he did
  • and God replied, “You are what you are.” The next day he said to the other
  • zebra, “I still don’t understand what I am because God just said, You are
  • what you are.” The second zebra responds, “You must be white with black
  • stripes or else God would have said, Yo is what yo is.”

  •  Misc Joke
  • Two zebras are talking and one asks the other, “Am I black with white
  • stripes or white with black stripes?” The other replies, “Well I don’t
  • know. You should pray to God about that and ask him.” So that night he did
  • and God replied, “You are what you are.” The next day he said to the other
  • zebra, “I still don’t understand what I am because God just said, You are
  • what you are.” The second zebra responds, “You must be white with black
  • stripes or else God would have said, Yo is what yo is.”

  •  Misc Joke
  • Electric Train
  • A few days after Christmas, a mother was working in the kitchen listening to her young son playing with his new electric train in the living room. She heard the train stop and her son said, “All of you sons of bitches who want off, get the hell off now, cause this is the last stop! And all of you sons of bitches who are getting on, get your asses in the train, cause we’re going down the tracks.”

  • The mother went nuts and told her son, “We don’t use that kind of language in this house. Now I want you to go to your room and you are to stay there for TWO HOURS. When you come out, you may play with your train, but I want you to use nice language.”

  • Two hours later, the son comes out of the bedroom and resumes playing with his train. Soon the train stopped and the mother heard her son say, “All passengers who are disembarking from the train, please remember to take all of your belongings with you. We thank you for riding with us today and hope your trip was a pleasant one. We hope you will ride with us again soon.” She hears the little boy continue, “For those of you just boarding, we ask you to stow all of your hand luggage under your seat. Remember, there is no smoking on the train. We hope you will have a pleasant and relaxing journey with us today.”

  • As the mother began to smile, the child added, “For those of you who are pissed off about the TWO HOUR delay, please see the bitch in the kitchen.”

  •  diety joke
  • A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed.

  • He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom. While he’s in there, the husband tells his wife:

  • “Listen, this guy’s an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn’t seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck.” If he wants sex, don’t resist, don’t complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he’ll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you.”

  • To which his wife responds: “He wasn’t kissing my neck. He wwas whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you too!!”

  •  bar joke
  • There was this guy at a bar, just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half of an hour.

  • Then, this big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, and just drinks it all down. The poor man starts crying. The truck driver says, “Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I’ll buy you another drink. I just can’t stand to see a man cry.”

  • “No, it’s not that. This day is the worst of my life. First, I fall asleep, and I go late to my office. My boss, outrageous, fires me. When I leave the building, to my car, I found out it was stolen. The police said that they can do nothing. I get a cab to return home, and when I leave it, I remember I left my wallet and credit cards there. The cab driver just drives away.”

  • “I go home, and when I get there, I find my wife in bed with the gardener. I leave home, and come to this bar. And just when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up and drink my poison.”
  • Rate this Bar Joke :
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  • jo asaani se mile wo hai gum,

  • jo mushkil se miloe wo hai paisa,

  • jo kisi kisi ko mile wo hai pyaar,

  • jo naseeb walo ko mile wo hai ‘APUN KA SMS’

  •  santabanta hindi sms
  • एक आप हो की शरमाते बहुत हो;

  • एक आप हो की इतराते भी बहुत हो;

  • दिल तो करता है कि आपको डिनर पर ले जाएँ;

  • लेकिन क्या करे कमबख्त कि आप खाते ही बहुत हो!

  •  santa banta hindi sms
  • संता: तेरा भाई आजकल क्या कर रहा है?

  • बंता: एक दुकान खोली थी, पर अब जेल में है!

  • संता: वो क्यों?

  • बंता: दुकान हथोड़े से खोली थी!

  •  hindi jokes for kids
  • Bacha: mai ne hathi k samNe 12 kele rakhe usne 11 khaye ek q Nhi khaya?

  • Admi: hathi ka pet bhr gya hoga

  • Bacha: nhi 12wa kela plastic ka tha

  • Bacha: Acha dubara mene hathi k samne 12 kele rakhe to usne ek bhi nhi khaya q?
  • .
  • Admi: sare kele plastic k honge
  • .
  • Bacha: nhi, is dafa hathi plastic ka tha.
  • .
  • Bacha: pr ab kele bhi asli the or hathi b asli tha pr hathi ne ek b kaila nai khaya.
  • .
  • admi: kyu?

  • Bacha: kele tv main the…
  • .
  • Bacha: acha ab asli hathi or asli kele dono tv pr the phr b hathi ne kaile nai khaye.
  • .
  • Admi: kiun bhai??
  • ??
  • .
  • Bacha: dono alag alag channels pr the…

  •  funny jokes
  • Husband Makes a Glass of Whisky & asks wife: Lo Pio isko!

  • Wife tastes & says: Chhi, Kitni karvi hay!

  • Husband: Aur tu sochti hay K mein Roz Ayyashi Karta hun!

  •  alril fool
  • Mein Piyasa Aur Tum Paani ho,

  • Mein kalam aur tum kahani ho,

  • Wah

  • Wah

  • Jab Poocha Tumhare Gali K
  • Bachon se to pata Chala ke

  • Tum To Sab ki Nani ho.

  •  april fools jokes for friends
  • The first of April, some do say,
  • Is set apart for All Fools Day.
  • But why the people call it so,
  • Nor I, nor they themselves do know.
  • But on this day are people sent
  • On purpose for pure merriment.

  •  april fool ideas
  • From some home a jade flute sends dark notes drifting,
  • Scattering on the spring wind that fills Lo-yang.
  • Tonight, if we should hear the willow-breaking song,
  • Who could help but long for the gardens of home?

  •  list of april fools jokes
  • Beauty is a form of genius – is higher, indeed, than genius, as it needs no explanation. It is of the great facts in the world like sunlight, or springtime, or the reflection in dark water of that silver shell we call the moon.

  •  april jokes
  • The first day of spring is one thing, and the first spring day is another. The difference between them is sometimes as great as a month.




  • Spring slattern of seasons
  • you have soggy legs
  • and a muddy petticoat
  • drowsy
  • is your hair your
  • eyes are sticky with
  • dream and you have a sloppy body from
  • being brought to bed of crocuses
  • when you sing in your whisky voice
  • the grass rises on the head of the earth
  • and all the trees are put on edge
  • spring
  • of the excellent jostle of
  • thy hips
  • and the superior

  •  top 100 april fools jokes
  • Courage is not the towering oak that sees storms come and go;
  • it is the fragile blossom that opens in the snow.

  •  april fool ideas
  • Late April and you are three; today
  • We dug your garden in the yard.
  • To curb the damage of your play,
  • Strange dogs at night and the moles tunneling,
  • Four slender sticks of lath stand guard
  • Uplifting their thin string.
  • So you were the first to tramp it down.
  • And after the earth was sifted close
  • You brought your watering can to drown
  • All earth and us. But these mixed seeds are pressed
  • With light loam in their steadfast rows.
  • Child, weve done our best.

  •  topeka april fools joke
  • Spring has again returned.
  • The Earth is like a child that knows many poems.
  • Many, O so many. For the hardship
  • of such long learning she receives the prize.
  • Strict was her teacher.
  • The white in the old mans beard pleases us.
  • Now, what to call green, to call blue,
  • we dare to ask: She knows, She knows!

  •  april fool sms jokes
  • Meadowlarks
  • give lusty cheers
  • when spring appears
  • when spring appears.
  • Buds and seeds
  • prick up their ears
  • and blades of grass
  • show eager spears.
  • And only icicles
  • weep tears
  • when spring appears
  • when spring appears.

  •  april fool s tricks
  • The years at spring
  • And days at the morn;
  • Mornings at seven;
  • The hill sidess dew-pearled;
  • The larks on the wing;
  • The snails on the thorn;
  • Gods in his heaven –
  • Alls right with the world!

  •  april foolds
  • All the wild sweetness of the flower
  • Tangled against the wall.
  • It was that magic, silent hour….
  • The branches grew so tall
  • They twined themselves into a bower.
  • The sun shown … and the fall
  • Of yellow blossom on the grass!
  • You feel that golden rain?
  • Both of you could not hold, alas,
  • (both of you tried, in vain)
  • A memory, stranger. So I pass….
  • It will not come again.

  •  april fool quotes
  • The promise of these fragrant flowers,
  • The fruit that neath these blossoms lies
  • Once hung, they say, in Edens bowers,
  • And tempted Eve in Paradise.
  • O fairest daughter of Eves blood,
  • Lest her misprision thine should be,
  • Ive nipped temptation in the bud
  • And send this snowy spray to thee.

  •  april fool pranks office
  • Tis the noon of the spring-time,
  • Yet never a bird In the wind-shaked elm or the maple is heard;
  • For green meadow-grasses wide levels of snow,
  • And blowing of drifts where the crocus should blow;
  • Where wind-flower and violet, amber and white;
  • The frosty flake eddies, the ice crystal shoots;
  • And, longing for light, under wind-driven heaps,
  • Unkissed of the sunshine, unbaptized of showers,
  • With buds scarcely swelled, which should burst into flowers!

  •  april fool s tricks
  • Tis spring; come out to ramble
  • The hilly brakes around,
  • For under thorn and bramble
  • About the hollow ground
  • The primroses are found.
  • And theres the windflower chilly
  • With all the winds at play,
  • And theres the Lenten lily
  • That has not long to stay
  • And dies on Easter day.




  • Daisies smell-less, yet most quaint,
  • And sweet thyme true,
  • Primrose, first born child of Ver,
  • Merry Spring-times harbinger.

  •  april fool sms jokes
  • Unless a tree has borne blossoms in spring,
  • you will vainly look for fruit on it in autumn.
  • April rain is here again;
  • Hear it pitter, pitter, patter,
  • On the leaves and on the trees,
  • See it spitter, spitter, spatter.
  • Rain, oh rain, dont go away
  • We need you for flowrs in May;
  • Drip, drip, drop and do not stop,
  • Send a little rain our way.

  •  april fool day jokes
  • Is it so small a thing
  • To have enjoyed the sun,
  • To have lived light in the spring,
  • To have loved, to have thought, to have done?

  •  april fool joks
  • Once a day and sometimes more
  • I look out my day dream door
  • To see if spring is out there yet
  • Im really anxious, but mustnt fret.
  • I see the snow a melting down
  • and lots of mud and slush around
  • I know the grass will surely sprout
  • and birds and flowers will come about.
  • But why oh why does it take so long?
  • Im sure the calendar cant be wrong.
  • Sunshine fills my heart with cheer
  • I wish that spring were really here.

  •  april fool joks
  • Aisa Dostana hamara,
  • Mai Kashti tu Kinara,
  • Mai Dhanush tu Teer,
  • Mai Matar tu Paneer,
  • Mai Varsha tu Badal,
  • Mai Hot tu Cool,
  • Mai April tu…?

  •  april fool hoaxes
  • Dharti se aasmaa tak, aasmaa se dharti tak
  • Dharti se aasmaa tak, aasmaa se dharti tak
  • Dharti se aasmaa tak, aasmaa se dharti tak
  • Dharti se aasmaa tak, aasmaa se dharti tak

  •  online april fools jokes
  • So Sweet is ur SMILE???
  • so Sweet is ur STYLE???
  • so Sweet is ur VOICE???
  • so Sweet is ur EYE?????
  • see …….how Sweetly I LIE.
  • Happy April Fool Day!

  •  april fools joke
  • Hey get ready, my marriage is fixed.

  • Its on 1st of April. Surprised?

  • Stupid, 1st april is April fool, and u r the 1st person whom I fooled.

  •  april fools day funny pranks
  • Hotho se jo choo liya,
  • Ehsaas Aab tak hai,
  • Aankhe Nam hai, Aur sanso mein Aag aab tak hain…
  • Aur kyo na ho… Khayi Bhi to ‘HARI Mirchi…’-hai

  •  april fools jokes
  • Plz open this after 2days at thursday.
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • .

  • I know u can’t wait.
  • So Congratz.
  • U r a 1st FOOL of 2010.
  • April Fool in Advance



  • Today, tomorrow and forever there will be one heart that would always beat for you.
  • You know Whose???
  • Your Own Stupid!!!

  •  april fools day facts
  • 31st March Or 1st april,
  • Fool is Fool dosnt matter.
  • Wishing very happy, prosperous and joyful,
  • Fool Day to the King of Fools..

  •  april fools clean jokes
  • A day will come when the world will celebrate
  • your name,
  • your fame,
  • your personality and
  • your views.
  • But April Fool comes once in a year and that your day. :)

  •  april fools best pranks
  • Aaj, kal, harpal, har samay, har vaqt, maheno, salo saal se ek DIL tumhare liye dhadakta tha aur dhadakta rahega aur wo DIL hai ur’s own DEAR.

  •  april fools jokes
  • Today, tommorow and forever there will be one heart that would always beat for you.
  • You know Whose???
  • Your Own Stupid!!!

  •  april fools day ideas
  • Just a friendly reminder –

  • Relationships are precious,
  • do not hurt them by fooling
  • and lying on first April / April Fool.

  •  april fools day decorations
  • April Fool is a very special day
  • Cause you can lie as much as you may
  • Everything’s gonna be OK
  • No complaints will ever be made!

  • Happy April Fools Day

  •  april fool s joke
  • 31st March Or 1st April,
  • it doesn’t matter.
  • A fool always remains a fool.
  • Wishing U a very happy, prosperous and
  • joyful
  • ‘All Fools’ Day’
  • to
  • ‘the King of Fools’!

  •  april fool s day tricks
  • Sky is in Blue Color Like “You”
  • Moon in White Color Like “Me”
  • But Our “SON” is Red Color
  • “Sorry Spelling Mistake”
  • Our “SUN” is in Red Color like Red Rose…
  • April Fool…

  •  sweet april fool
  • A day will come… When the whole world will, CELEBRATE: YOUR NAME YOUR FAME YOUR PERSONALITY YOUR THOUGHTS YOUR VIEWS But keep in mind, April Fool comes once a year. Congratulations!




  • Hey U Know Which is the best day to propose a girl? April 1 U Know Why?? If she accept its your luck otherwise just tell April Foooooll

  •  alril fool
  • Jab tum aaine ke paas jaate ho to aaina kehta hai beautiful beautiful? aur jab tum aaine se dur jate ho to aaina kahata hai ? aprilfool, aprilfool ?

  •  april fool sms
  • Oct-2 for Gandhi, Nov-14 for Neharu, Apr-24 for Sachin, Aug-15 for India, Apr-01 only for YOU. So Enjoy the day !!!

  •  good april fool sms
  • Jab tum aaine ke paas jaate ho to aaina kehta hai beautiful beautiful? aur jab tum aaine se dur jate ho to aaina kahata hai ? aprilfool, aprilfool ?

  •  april fools birthday pranks
  • mummy chilla kr boli:
  • use sharam nahi aati, bache k samne aisi harkat krte hue, me abhi uski khabar leTi hoon..

  • achanak bacha Taalia bajaTe hue bola:

  • “Mummy April Fool, April Fool wo BASHEER Thori Tha, wo Tou PAPA The… ;->

  •  april fools birthday cards
  • Ek bacha apni mummy se bola k..
  • mummy aap ko pata hai noker BASHEER hamari masi NOORA ko hamare papa ke bedroom me nanga kr ke uski tangon k beech wale hole me apna tangon ka beech wala DANDA ghusa raha Tha..

  •  april fools best pranks
  • Jab tum aine ke paas jate ho to aina kehta hai

  • beautiful beautiful?

  • aur jab tum aine se dur jate ho to aina kahata hai

  • ? aprilfool, aprilfool ?

  •  april foolds day
  • I Don’t Think So …

  • You Are A Fool

  • But

  • What’s My Opinion Compared To

  • That Of Thousands Of Others … =P ;->

  •  april fool s tricks
  • Hum nay april fool manay to on ko gosa aya hamra kiya kasoor
  • Zamnay ka kasoor jis nay yeh dastoor banya.

  •  april fool s day activities
  • Yar ma na suna ha k 32 march ko minar pakistan gira rhay hain.
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • Magar yar 32 march to hota hi nai.
  • Happy april fool day.




  • December 25 for Jesus,
  • November 14 for Nehru,
  • October 2 for Gandhi,
  • August 15 for India,
  • April 24 for Sachin,
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • April 1 only for you! Enjoy the day!!

  •  april fool phone pranks
  • ust a friendly reminder –

  • Relationships are precious,
  • do not hurt them by fooling
  • and lying on first April

  •  april fool joks
  • Am Going To U.S.A.
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • Dont Worry The Flight Is After 2 Days
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • Surprised?
  • ?
  • ?
  • ?
  • After 2 Days it’s 1st April,
  • U r 1st Fool Of 2010

  •  april fool jokes hindi
  • Plz go to creat message
  • Then open T9 ON DICTANARY OPTION
  • Then type this number & see the magic
  • 277451366514612382623

  •  april fool jokes for the office
  • Which is the best day to propose a girl.. April 1
  • U Know Why??
  • If she accept its your luck
  • otherwise just tell April Foooooll.

  •  april fool jokes for school
  • LarKiyon Se Dil LaGana Ik Bhool HY

  • LarKiyo K Piche Jana Fazool HY

  • Jis Din Kisi Larki Ne ApKo Keh Dia “I LOVE U”

  • To Samajh Lena Us Din
  • APRIL-FOOL HY.

  •  april fool jokes for kids
  • Just a second, don’t misunderstand.
  • CUTE means:
  • Creating
  • Useless
  • Troubles
  • Everywhere..

  •  april fool jokes for boyfriends
  • Hey U Know
  • Which is the best day to propose a girl.. April 1
  • U Know Why??
  • If she accept its your luck
  • otherwise just tell April Foooooll.

  •  april fool practical jokes
  • Took The Ticket And Said
  • Sardar Got Into A Bus On 1st April
  • When Conductor Asked For Ticket.
  • He Gave Rs.10/-
  • And Took The Ticket And Said April Fool.
  • I Have Pass.

  •  april fool phone pranks
  • A New Born Baby
  • If A Baby Is Born In Africa,
  • What Will Be The Colour Of The Babies Teeth???You Fool.!

  • A New Born Baby Dont Hav Teeth…




  • Today If Anyone Praises
  • Today If Anyone Praises U 4 Ur:
  • 1.Smartness
  • 2.Nature
  • 3.Style
  • 4.Attitute
  • Kick Them
  • How Dare They
  • Can Fool U
  • Before April 1st

  •  april fool jokes sms
  • Jab Tum Aine Ke Paas
  • Jab Tum Aine Ke Paas Jate Ho
  • To Aina Kehta Hai Beautiful Beautiful
  • Aur Jab Tum Aine Se Dur Jate Ho To Aina Kahata Hai
  • ” Aprilfool, Aprilfool “

  •  april fool jokes hindi
  • Fool Tumhe Bheja Hai
  • Fool Tumhe Bheja Hai Sms Me
  • Zara Khol Kar To Dekhiye
  • Nazar Aya Kya???.
  • Nahi Dikha Na???
  • Are Fool Ye April Ka Fool Hai Jo Tumhe Fool Bana Gaya
  • Hehehe

  •  Hot jokes sms in english
  • A Good friend is like a Good bra…

  • hard to find, comfortable, supportive, prevents you from falling…

  • holds you tight and is always close to your heart:)

  •  april fool jokes for school
  • LarKiyon Se Dil LaGana Ik Bhool hY

  • LarKiyo K Piche jana Fazool hY

  • Jis Din Kisi Larki Ne ApKo Keh Dia “I LOVE U”

  • To Samajh Lena Us Din
  • APRIL-FOOL hY.

  •  april fool jokes for boyfriends
  • Plz open this after 4days at thursday.
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • .

  • I know u can’t wait.
  • So Congratz.
  • U r a 1st FOOL of 2010.
  • April Fool in Advance

  •  april fool jokes 2011
  • Just a friendly reminder –

  • Relationships are precious,
  • do not hurt them by fooling
  • and lying on first April

  •  april fool jokes
  • j Agr Ap ko koi kahe k Aap

  • “Khubsoorat”
  • “SMART” or
  • “GENIOUS”

  • Ho

  • To rakh k moun pe thapr dena

  • Or kehna

  • Bad_Tameez!
  • “MUSLIMAAN”
  • APRIL FOOL nahe mnaty ;->

  •  april fool joke
  • Fact1: You can not touch your lower lip with your tounge…

  • Fact2: After reading this, 99/100 idiots would try it..

  •  april fool ideas
  • A study has proved that all fools use their THUMB while reading a SMS.
  • Now its 2 late dont try 2 change ur finger! Catch another fool!




  • I want U to know that U are very important to me, It’s impossible for me to live without U even 4 a second! U r my life & I can feel U everywhere…. DON’T MIND I WAS TALKING ABOUT OXYGEN…

  •  april fool emails
  • 31st March Or 1st april
  • Fool is Fool dosnt matter.
  • Wishing very happy, prosperous and joyful
  • Fool Day to the King of Fools.. :)

  •  april fool easy pranks
  • Am Going To U.S.A.
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • Dont Worry The Flight Is After 2 Days
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • Surprised?
  • ?
  • ?
  • ?
  • After 2 Days it’s 1st April,
  • U r 1st Fool Of 2010

  •  april fool day tricks
  • U are a BITCH

  • Beautiful
  • Intelligent
  • Talented
  • Cute
  • Hilarious

  • r u smiling now?
  • ?
  • ?
  • ?
  • *YOU ARE REALLY BITCH*

  •  april fool day pranks
  • Plz open this
  • after 2 days at saturday.
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • .

  • I know u can’t wait.
  • So Congratz.
  • U r a 1st FOOL of 2012.
  • April Fool in Advance

  •  april fool day practical jokes
  • Just a friendly reminder –

  • Relationships are precious,
  • do not hurt them by fooling
  • and lying on first April / April Fool.

  •  april fool day joke
  • You are one of the most CUTE persons in the world!!
  • Just a second, don’t misunderstand.
  • CUTE means:
  • Creating
  • Useless
  • Troubles
  • Everywhere..

  •  april fool 2011
  • I am your girlfriend:
  • Smart.
  • Intelligent.
  • Sweet.
  • Talented.
  • Excllent.
  • Romantic.

  • theek kaha na ?

  • In short I am your S.I.S.T.E.R. :p

  • Happy april fools day

  •  april first pranks
  • SomeOne..
  • MiSSES U..
  • NeeDS U..
  • Worries About U
  • Lonely Without U
  • Guess Who?
  • THE MONKEY IN
  • … THE ZOO ..

  •  april first jokes
  • U are a…

  • B. I. T. C. H.

  • Beautiful

  • Intelligent

  • Talented

  • Cute

  • Horny

  • r u smiling now?

  • *YOU BITCH*




  • You are one of the most CUTE persons in the world!!

  • Just a second, don’t misunderstand.

  • CUTE means:

  • Creating

  • Useless

  • Troubles

  • Everywhere..

  •  Apirl fools jokes
  • Jab tum aayne k pas jate ho,

  • To ayna kehta hai Beautiful Beautiful,

  • Jab tum aayne se dur jate ho,

  • To ayna kehta hai April Fool! April Fool!!

  •  About april fools day
  • Attendence..
  • Pappu
  • Yes Sir
  • Bablu
  • Yes Sir
  • Tinku
  • Yes Sir
  • Ullu
  • ??
  • Ullu
  • ??
  • Ullu

  • Button dabana band kar, teri baari hai, attendence lagwa.

  • Aisa DOSTANA hamara, Mai KASHTI tu kinara, Mai DHANUSH tu teer, Mai MATAR tu paneer, Mai VARSHA tu badal, Mai RAJMA tu chawal, Mai HOT tu cool, Mai APRIL tu….?

  •  good april fools trick
  • Advance Aprilfool sms
  • 31st March Or 1st april
  • Fool is Fool dosnt matter.
  • Wishing very happy, prosperous and joyful
  • Fool Day to the King of Fools

  •  good april fools joke
  • Khush toh bohut hoge tum,
  • baat hi kutch aisi hai,
  • 1st april jo ho rahi hai,
  • dil mein gudgudi si ho rahi hogi,
  • aur kyo na ho….saal mein ek hi toh din aata hai jo
  • hota hai sirf tumhaare naam…

  •  april fools jokes
  • Jab tum aine ke paas jate ho to aina kehta hai
  • beautiful beautiful?
  • aur jab tum aine se dur jate ho to aina kahata hai
  • ? aprilfool, aprilfool ?

  •  april fools day
  • Aap jaisa koi meri zindaki mein aaye to baat banjaye
  • Aap jaisa cute meri zindaki mein aaye to baat banjaye
  • Aap jaisa cute meri zindaki mein aaye to baat banjaye
  • Aap jaisa bewakoof meri jhhoti baaton per yakeen kare to “APRIL FOOL” banjaye…

  •  best pranks
  • Jab tum aayne k pas jate ho,
  • To ayna kehta hai Beautiful Beautiful,
  • Jab tum aayne se dur jate ho,
  • To ayna kehta hai April Fool! April Fool!!

  •  april fools jokes
  • Khush toh bohut hoge tum,
  • baat hi kutch aisi hai,
  • 1st april jo ho rahi hai,
  • dil mein gudgudi si ho rahi hogi,
  • aur kyo na ho….saal mein ek hi toh din aata hai jo
  • hota hai sirf tumhaare naam…

  •  april pranks
  • I Have Changed My Number,
  • Note Down My New No.
  • And Plz Give Me A Miss Call.

  • My New Number Is…..
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • “100″
  • Dum Hai To Miss Call mar!




  • Khush toh bohut hoge tum,
  • baat hi kutch aisi hai,
  • 1st april jo ho rahi hai,
  • dil mein gudgudi si ho rahi hogi,
  • aur kyo na ho….saal mein ek hi toh din aata hai jo
  • hota hai sirf tumhaare naam…

  •  april fools jokes
  • Jab tum aayne k pas jate ho,

  • To ayna kehta hai Beautiful Beautiful,

  • Jab tum aayne se dur jate ho,

  • To ayna kehta hai April Fool! April Fool!!

  •  April fools school pranks
  • Teacher: “Amy, what do you call the outside of a tree?”

  • Student: “No idea miss”

  • Teacher told angrily: “Bark, Amy”.

  • Amy: “Bow Wow Wow Miss”

  •  Funny april fools pranks for teachers
  • Teacher: How many letters are there totally in “A.B.C.D”?

  • Student: 4

  • Teacher: I meant the complete set, not just “A.B.C.D”

  • Student: 52

  • Teacher: What?! How?

  • Student: Lower case 26 and Upper case 26.

  •  latest double meaning hindi jokes
  • samunder kinare baithe hain kabhi to lahar aayegi…

  • kismat badle na badle g*** to dhul jayegi

  •  adults sms hindi 140 words
  • ja sms ja mere piyare dost ke pass ager wo bessy ho to ruk jan…
  • or ager free ho to un ke g*** main ghus jana…
  • or tub tak hillty rehna jub tak wo mujhe koi acha sa sms reply na kar de
  •  hindi double meaning jokes sms
  • palat kar dekh jaaneman jiger me dum hum bhi rakhte hain…

  • bra me do bomb tum rakhti ho to…

  • underwear main ek gun hum bhi rakhte hain

  •  

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  •  Funny jokes
  • A prince had a curse put on him when he was a little boy. He could only speak two words every year. But, if he didn’t speak for a whole year, he would then be able to speak 4 words the next year and so on.

  • One day he met a princess named Josie and he wanted to say “My Princess”.

  • The next year he saw her he wanted to say “My princess, i love you”.

  • The third year he saw her he wanted to say “My princess I love you, will you marry me?” But, the young prince, now growing older knew he would have to wait a couple more years.

  • So, on the fifth year, excited to finally present his question, he visited the princess.

  • He approached her respectfully and asked, “JOSIE, MY PRINCESS, I LOVE YOU. WILL YOU MARRY ME?”

  •  Practical jokes
  • A tour bus driver has a bus full of senior citizens. As he’s driving, the bus driver gets tapped on the shoulder by a little old lady.

  • She offers him a handful of peanuts, which he gratefully eats. After about 15 minutes, she taps him on his shoulder again and she hands him another handful of peanuts. She repeats this gesture about five more times.

  • When she is about to hand him another batch of peanuts, the bus driver asks the little old lady why she doesn’t eat them.
  • .
  • “We can’t chew them because we’ve got no teeth”, she says.

  • So, the puzzled driver asks, “Why do you buy them then?”

  • The little old lady replies, “We just love the chocolate around them!!”

  •  Blonde jokes
  • In the morning, a blonde enters a restaurant with a carton of orange juice. She puts the orange juice on the table and stares at it.

  • The store is about to close down and the blonde is still staring at the orange juice. A waiter comes and asks the blonde, “Excuse me, we are about to close for the evening, I’m afraid your going to have to leave.”

  • “No” They blonde replies.

  • “Why not?” questions the waiter.

  • “The carton says “concentrate”.

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  • Here’s a quote from a government employee who witnessed a recent interaction between an elderly woman and an antiwar protester in a Metro station in DC.

  • There were protesters on the train platform handing out pamphlets on the evils of America. I politely declined to take one.

  • An elderly woman was behind me getting off the escalator and a young (20-ish) female protester offered her a pamphlet, which she politely declined. The young protester put her hand on the old woman’s shoulder as a gesture of friendship and in a very soft voice said, ‘Lady, don’t you care about the children of Iraq?’

  • The old woman looked up at her and said, ‘Honey, my father died in France during World War II, I lost my husband in Korea, and a son in Vietnam. All three died so you could have the right to stand here and bad mouth our country. If you touch me again, I’ll stick this umbrella up your behind and open it.’

  •  Political jokes
  • Q: How is Bin Laden like Fred Flintstone?
  • A: Both may look out their windows and see Rubble.

  •  Blonde joke
  • A blonde and a brunette where driving down the road when there car broke down.

  • The brunette says “I’ll get some chips and and something to drink.”

  • The blonde say’s I’ll bring the door in case we get hot.”

  •  Computer jokes
  • Why did a group of Columbians run away from the computer lab?

  • Because… The computer said, “You have performed an illegal operation and will be shutdown!”

  •  Animal jokes
  • If Life Were Like A Computer:

  • You could add/remove someone in your life using the control panel.

  • You could put your kids in the recycle bin and restore them when you feel like it!

  • You could improve your appearance by adjusting the display settings.

  • You could turn off the speakers when life gets too noisy.

  • You could click on “find” (Ctrl, F) to recover your lost remote control and car keys.

  • To get your daily exercise, just click on “run”!

  • If you mess up your life, you could always press “Ctrl, Alt, Delete” and start all over!

  •  animal jokes
  • A blind man was out walking with his seeing-eye dog when suddenly the animal paused and wet the man’s leg. Bending down, the blind man stretched out his hand and patted the dog’s head.

  • Having watched what happened, a bystander said, “Why are you patting him? That dog just peed on your leg!”

  • “I know,” said the blind man, “but I gotta find his head before I can kick his butt.”

  •  Redneck jokes
  • So a dude turns to the guy next to him at a bar and asks, “Hey, you wanna hear a redneck story?
  • “The guy says, “Buddy, I’m six feet, 210 pounds, an’ ma name’s Billy Joe. You see the guy on the other side of you? That there’s Bubba. He’s 225 pounds of solid muscle and he’s a redneck. And the boy next to him? Mike’s a trucker who weighs 295 and he’s a redneck, too. Now, do you still want to tell your redneck story?”The fella says, “Naw, you’re right. . . I’d hate to have to explain it three times!”

  •  Redneck jokes
  • Two rednecks, Bubba and Earl, were driving down the road drinking a couple of bottles of Bud.The passenger, Bubba, said “lookey thar up ahead, Earl, it’s a poll-ice roadblock!! We’re gonna get busted fer drinkin’ these here beers!!” Don’t worry, Bubba”, Earl said. “We’ll just pull over and finish drinkin’ these beers, peel off the label and stick it on our foreheads, and throw the bottles under the seat”.

  • “What?”, asked Bubba. “Just let me do the talkin’, OK?”, said Earl. Well, they finished their beers, threw the empty bottles under the seat, and each put a label on their forehead. When they reached the roadblock, the sheriff said, “You boys been drinkin’?” “No, sir”, said Earl. “We’re on the patch”!

  •  redneck jokes
  • You might be a redneck if you go to a family reunion to meet girls…

  •  Love jokes
  • A older couple are driving down the highway when another car passed them.

  • The woman notices the occupants of the other car are young and obviously in love. The girl is sitting very close to her boyfriend as they cruise down the highway.

  • This causes the woman to think back to when she and her husband were young and in love, and wondering where the show of affection had disappeared to over the years.

  • Finally she says to her husband, “Remember when we used to be like that young couple? Where did the love go, honey?” He quietly replied, “I haven’t moved…





  • A married couple was in a terrible accident where the woman’s face was severely burned. The doctor told the husband that they couldn’t graft any skin from her body because she was too skinny. So the husband offered to donate some of his own skin.

  • However, the only skin on his body that the doctor felt was suitable would have to come from his buttocks. The husband and wife agreed that they would tell no one about where the skin came from, and requested that the doctor also honor their secret. After all, this was a very delicate matter.

  • After the surgery was completed, everyone was astounded at the woman’s new beauty. She looked more beautiful than she ever had before! All her friends and relatives just went on and on about her youthful beauty!

  • One day, she was alone with her husband, and she was overcome with emotion at his sacrifice. She said, “Dear, I just want to thank you for everything you did for me. There is no way I could ever repay you.”

  • “My darling,” he replied, “I get all the thanks I need every time I see your mother kiss you on the cheek.”

  •  Knock knock jokes
  • Knock Knock.

  • Who’s there?

  • Vitamin.

  • Vitamin who?

  • Vitamin for a party!

  •  kids jokes
  • A Sunday school teacher said to her children, “We have been learning how powerful kings and queens were in Bible times. But, there is a higher power.

  • Can anybody tell me what it is?”

  • One child blurted out, “Aces!”

  •  kids joke
  • There were 2 kids walking home from school.They had found a shortcut the day before, so they took this shortcut.

  • They found a old cabin.They pressed their ears against the door & they heard
  • “When I get ya I’m gonna eat ya!”

  • The 2 kids open the door & the voice grew louder! They had noticed that the voice was coming from the closet, so they slowly opened the door & found an old man picking his nose.

  • The old man says,”Sorry, I don’t have enough for all of us!!!!!!!”

  •  Kids joke
  • 3 sky divers were diving but there parachutes were faulty and they all died.
  • They went to heaven and there before those 3 men stood God.

  • “Go down the slide and you will receive one wish what you wish for is what you get at the end of the slide, “boomed God’s voice.

  • The first man slid down and said “SPORTS CAR” and sure-enough there was a sports car.

  • The second man went down and said “MONEY” and he received money.

  • The third man jumped down the slide and said “WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!”

  •  Animal jokes
  • There were 3 guys walking in the woods and they came across this huge hole in the path.

  • The 1st guy says “Lets throw some rocks in the hole and see how deep it is.” So thats what they did only they didn’t hear it hit bottom.

  • So the 2nd guy says “I saw a log back there lets get that and throw that in.” So thats what they did.

  • Then this old farmer comes walking up and says “Have you seen my goat go by here?”

  • The 3rd guy replies “We saw one jump down in that hole.”

  • The farmer replies “That couldn’t have been my goat. He was tied to a log.”

  •  Animal jokes
  • There once was 3 fish (the mom,dad,son) who needed a place to sleep.

  • The mom slept in the kitchen sink.

  • The dad slept in the the bathtub.

  • The son slept in the toilet.

  • The next morning the dad asked the mom how her night was.

  • “Okay, but it was a little too small, said the mom”

  • The mom asked the dad how his night was.

  • “Just fine. There was a lot of room to swim,” said the dad.

  • The dad asked his son how his night was.

  • “Horrible!!”, said the son. It was raining scat and logs all night long!!”

  •  Animal jokes
  • Two little ladies were shopping in the mall when Joanne smiled: “My cat can really play chess!”

  • With a shocking expression, Angelina praised Joanne’s cat: “Really? It must be very smart!”

  • Just when Angelina finished her sentence, Joanne said:” Well… Actually, I don’t know about that. I usually win three out of four times.”

  •  Jokes at work
  • A well respected Doctor and his wife were having drinks in the lobby of the theater during the opening nite of a musical during
  • intermission. A blonde shimmied by that had to have had what there was of her evening gown spray painted on her curvy body.
  • She smiled and gushed, “Well, hello there Doc.” and kept right on going.

  • After a moment’s pause, the good doctor looked at his wife and said, “Don’t worry dear, that’s just a young lady I know
  • professionally.”

  • Without missing a beat, his wife asked, “Hers or Yours ?”

  •  Political joke
  • HOW TO START EACH DAY WITH A SMILE….

  • 1. Open a new file in your computer.

  • 2. Name it ‘Barack Obama’.

  • 3. Send it to the Recycle Bin.

  • 4. Empty the Recycle Bin.

  • 5. Your PC will ask you: ‘Do you really want to get rid
  • of ‘Barack Obama?’

  • 6. Firmly Click ‘Yes.’

  • 7. Feel better?

  • GOOD – Tomorrow we’ll do Nancy Pelosi




  • There was a family that had a parrot that was always embarrassing them by cussing and other stuff like that.

  • So one day the boy took the parrot and stuck him in the freezer.Two hours later the squawking stopped.

  • The kid checked the freezer and the parrot said, “Okay I’ll stop cussing, but I have one question”.

  • The boy said, “What”?

  • The Parrot asks, “What did the turkey do”???

  •  Redneck jokes
  • So there were three rednecks walking down a country road. They find a dead opossum that was ran over.

  • The 1st redneck says, “that there looks tasty”!

  • The 2nd redneck says, “I don’t much like opossum.”

  • The 3rd redneck says, “I’m a waitin for something better.

  • So… the 1st redneck eats the opossum.

  • Then, down the road they find a dead rabbit.

  • The 1st redneck says he’s full. The 2nd redneck says he likes rabbit and the 3rd redneck says he’s still waitin for something better.

  • So… the 2nd redneck eats the rabbit.

  • Further down the road the first two rednecks who ate the opossum and the rabbit start barfing like crazy.

  • The 3rd redneck says, “Finally, a nice warm meal.

  •  Yo mama jokes
  • Yo mamas so fat… when her beeper goes off, people thinks she is backing up!

  •  Yo mama jokes
  • A man was sitting on the edge of the bed, observing his wife, looking at herself in the mirror. Since her birthday was not far off he asked what she’d like to have for her Birthday.

  • “I’d like to be six again”, she replied, still looking in the mirror.

  • On the morning of her Birthday, he arose early, made her a nice big bowl of Lucky Charms, and then took her to Six Flags theme park.

  • What a day! He put her on every ride in the park; the Death Slide, the Wall of Fear, the Screaming Monster Roller Coaster, everything there was. Five hours later they staggered out of the theme park.

  • Her head was reeling and her stomach felt upside down. He then took her to a McDonald’s where he ordered her a Happy Meal with extra fries and a chocolate shake. Then it was off to a movie, popcorn, a soda pop, and her favorite candy , M&M’s.

  • What a fabulous adventure! Finally she wobbled home with her husband and collapsed into bed exhausted. He leaned over his wife with a big smile and lovingly asked, “Well Dear, what was it like being six again??”

  • Her eyes slowly opened and her expression suddenly changed. “I meant my dress size, you dummy!”

  • The moral of the story: Even when a man is listening, he’s gonna get it wrong.

  • SEND THIS TO SMART WOMEN WHO NEED A LAUGH AND TO MEN YOU THINK CAN HANDLE IT.

  •  Practical jokes
  • A U.S. Navy Admiral was attending a naval conference that included Admirals from the U.S., English, Canadian, Australian and French Navies. At a cocktail reception, he found himself standing with a large group of Officers that included personnel from most of those countries. Everyone was chatting away in English as they sipped their drinks but a French admiral suddenly complained that, ‘whereas Europeans learn many languages, Americans learn only English. “He then asked, ‘Why is it that we always have to speak English in these conferences rather than speaking French?”

  • Without hesitating, the American Admiral replied “Maybe it’s because the Brits, Canadians, Aussies and Americans arranged it so you wouldn’t have to speak German.”

  •  Practical jokes
  • Hillary Clinton died and went to heaven. As she stood in front of Saint Peter at the Pearly Gates, she saw a huge wall of clocks behind him. She asked, “What are all those clocks?”

  • Saint Peter answered, “Those are Lie-Clocks. Everyone on Earth has a Lie-Clock.
  • Every time you lie, the hands on your clock will move.

  • “Oh,” said Hillary, “whose clock is that?”

  • “That’s Mother Teresa’s. The hands have never moved indicating that she never told a lie.”

  • “Whose clock is that?”

  • “That’s Abraham Lincoln’s clock. The hands have only moved twice telling us that Abe only told 2 lies in his entire life.”

  • “Where’s Bill’s clock?” Hillary asked.

  • “Bill’s clock is in Jesus’ office. He’s using it as a ceiling fan.”

  •  Practical jokes
  • The buzzword of this election is “CHANGE.” Candidates toss it around without saying what they want to change to. Just that we need CHANGE!

  • This brings to mind the following illustration.

  • Years ago, there was an old tale in the Marine Corps about a lieutenant who inspected his Marines and told the “Gunny” that they smelled bad. The lieutenant suggested that they change their underwear.

  • The “Gunny” responded, “Aye, aye, sir. I’ll see to it immediately. ”

  • He went into the tent and said, “The lieutenant thinks you guys smell bad, and he wants you to change your underwear. Smith, you change with Jones, McCarthy, you change with Witkowskie, Brown, you change with Schultz ….”

  • “Change, now get on with it”

  • And the moral is:

  • A candidate may promise change in Washington … but the stink remains!

  •  Woman jokes
  • While reading a newspaper, Walter came across an article about a beautiful actress and model who married a boxer who was noted for his IQ.

  • “I’ll never understand,” he said to his wife, “why the biggest jerks get the most attractive wives.”

  • His wife replied, “Why, thank you, dear.”

  •  Men jokes
  • Three guys had to cross a lake. The first one prayed to God for the strength, he swam across the lake, but almost died 5 times.

  • The second guy prayed to God for the strength and the tools, he made a boat, and rowed himself across the lake, he almost died 3 times.

  • The third guy prayed to God for the strength, the tools, and the brains. He turned into a girl, walked 4 yards, and crossed the bridge.

  •  Men joke
  • A man comes home from the office and tells his wife he had a frustrating day at work.

  • “Ahhhhh, tell me all about your day honey,” his wife says.

  • The husband looks at her and says, “Well.. I just did.”




  • Most folks believe that Ben Franklin discovered electricity with his famous kite experiment.

  • Actually, a women made that discovery possible.

  • The real story was that Ben Franklin was laying in bed with his wife one night, leaned over and whispered something in her ear.

  • She told him to go fly a kite. The rest is history.

  •  Christmas joke
  • While working as a mall Santa, I had many children ask for electric trains. “If you get a train,” I would tell each one, “you know your dad is going to want to play with it too. Is that okay?”

  • The usual answer was a quick yes, but after I asked one boy this question, he became very quiet. Trying to move the conversation along, I asked what else he would like Santa to bring him. He promptly replied, “Another train.”

  •  Lawyers joke
  • A lawyer, an engineer and a mathematician were called in for a test.

  • The engineer went in first and was asked, ””What is 2+2?”” The engineer thought awhile and finally answered, ””4.””

  • Then the mathemetician was called in and was asked the same question. With little thought he replied, ”4.0.”

  • Then the lawyer was called in, and was asked the same question. The lawyer answered even quicker than the mathematician, ””What do you want it to be?””

  •  Animal jokes
  • A tiger was walking through the jungle one day and saw two men relaxing under a tree. One was reading a newspaper, and the other was working feverishly on a manual typewriter.

  • The tiger leapt on the man with the newspaper, and ate him up. The tiger did not bother the other man at all. That’s because any predator knows that readers digest but writers cramp.

  •  Microsoft landing
  • A pilot is flying a small, single-engine, charter plane with a couple of really important executives on board into Seattle airport. There is fog so thick that visibility is 40 feet, and his instruments are out. He circles looking for a landmark and after an hour, he is low on fuel and his passengers are very nervous.

  • At last, through a small opening in the fog he sees a tall building with one guy working alone on the fifth floor. Circling, the pilot banks and shouts through his open window: “Hey, where am I?”. The solitary office worker replies: “You’re in an airplane.”. The pilot immediately executes a swift 275 degree turn and executes a perfect blind landing on the airport’s runway five miles away. Just as the plane stops, the engines cough and die from lack of fuel. The stunned passengers ask the pilot how he did it.

  • “Elementary,” replies the pilot, “I asked the guy in that building a simple question. The answer he gave me was 100% correct but absolutely useless; therefore, I knew that must be Microsoft’s support office and from there the airport is three minutes away on a course of 87 degrees.”

  •  Computer joke
  • In Computer Heaven:

  • The management is from Intel,
  • The design and construction is done by Apple,
  • The marketing is done by Microsoft,
  • IBM provides the support,
  • Gateway determines the pricing.

  • In Computer Hell:

  • The management is from Apple,
  • Microsoft does design and construction,
  • IBM handles the marketing,
  • The support is from Gateway,
  • Intel sets the price.

  •  Cristian jokes
  • It was Critics’ Day in heaven, when all celebrated biblical figures reflected on their life experiences on earth, and decided what would have been the best approach to performing their respective feats.

  • On the floor today was Moses’ parting of the Red Sea in order to escape the pursuing Egyptians.

  • First up was Noah, who said he would have would have used divine foresight to construct an ark in advance, and conveyed the Israelites across.

  • Peter objected to this, claiming Noah’s method was too technical, stating that he would have simply helped the Israelites walk on the water across the sea.

  • Elijah objected, calling Peter’s method unreliable. He then proposed calling fire down from heaven to consume the Red Sea.

  • Solomon pointed out that this did not solve the problem of the Egyptians.

  • Elijah looked at them incredulously, before saying what appeared to him as obvious: he would call fire down on the Egyptians too.

  • Daniel remarked that Elijah’s method wasn’t cost-effective. He, and a now furious Elijah, then plunged into a heated argument.

  • Finally, Balaam stood up, and proposed placing his donkey in front of all the advancing Egyptians.

  • They all stared at him in awe.

  •  Marriage jokes
  • “Honey,” said this husband to his wife, “I invited a friend home for supper.”

  • “What? Are you crazy? The house is a mess, I didn’t go shopping, all the dishes are dirty, and I don’t feel like cooking fancy meal!”

  • “I know all that.”

  • “Then why did you invite a friend for supper?”

  • “Because the poor fool’s thinking about getting married.”

  •  Marriage jokes
  • A man was driving home one evening and realized that it was his daughter’s birthday and he hadn’t bought her a present. He drove to the mall and ran to the toy store and he asked the store manager “How much is that new Barbie in the window?”

  • The Manager replied, “Which one? We have, ‘Barbie goes to the gym’for $19.95 …

  • ‘Barbie goes to the Ball’ for $19.95 …

  • ‘Barbie goes shopping for $19.95 …

  • ‘Barbie goes to the beach’ for $19.95…

  • ‘Barbie goes to the Nightclub’ for $19.95 …

  • and ‘Divorced Barbie’ for $375.00.”

  • “Why is the Divorced Barbie $375.00, when all the others are $19.95?” Dad asked surprised.

  • “Divorced Barbie comes with Ken’s car, Ken’s House, Ken’s boat, Ken’s dog, Ken’s cat and Ken’s furniture.”

  •  Clean joke
  • A older couple are driving down the highway when another car passed them.

  • The woman notices the occupants of the other car are young and obviously in love. The girl is sitting very close to her boyfriend as they cruise down the highway.

  • This causes the woman to think back to when she and her husband were young and in love, and wondering where the show of affection had disappeared to over the years.

  • Finally she says to her husband, “Remember when we used to be like that young couple? Where did the love go, honey?” He quietly replied, “I haven’t moved…




  • A Polish man moved to the USA and married an American girl.

  • Although his English was far from perfect, they got along very well until one day
  • he rushed into a lawyer’s office and asked him if he could arrange a divorce for him.

  • The lawyer said that getting a divorce could depend on the circumstances,
  • and asked him the following questions:

  • “Have you any grounds”?
  • “Yes, an acre and half and nice little home”.

  • “No, I meant what is the foundation of this case”?
  • It’s made of concrete

  • “I don’t think you understand. Does either of you have a real grudge”?
  • “No, we have carport, and not need one”.

  • I mean, what are your relations like?
  • “All my relations still in Poland”.

  • “Is there any infidelity in your marriage”?
  • “We have hi-fidelity stereo and good DVD player”.

  • “Does your wife beat you up”?
  • “No, I always up before her”.

  • “Is your wife a nagger”?
  • “No, she white”.

  • “Why do you want this divorce”?
  • “She going to kill me”.

  • “What makes you think that”?
  • “I got proof”.

  • “What kind of proof”?
  • “She going to poison me. She buy a bottle at drugstore and put on shelf in
  • bathroom. I can read, and it say: “Polish Remover”

  •  Husband wife jokes
  • A married couple was in a terrible accident where the woman’s face was severely burned. The doctor told the husband that they couldn’t graft any skin from her body because she was too skinny. So the husband offered to donate some of his own skin.

  • However, the only skin on his body that the doctor felt was suitable would have to come from his buttocks. The husband and wife agreed that they would tell no one about where the skin came from, and requested that the doctor also honor their secret. After all, this was a very delicate matter.

  • After the surgery was completed, everyone was astounded at the woman’s new beauty. She looked more beautiful than she ever had before! All her friends and relatives just went on and on about her youthful beauty!

  • One day, she was alone with her husband, and she was overcome with emotion at his sacrifice. She said, “Dear, I just want to thank you for everything you did for me. There is no way I could ever repay you.”

  • “My darling,” he replied, “I get all the thanks I need every time I see your mother kiss you on the cheek.”

  •  Couple joke
  • A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, “Relatives of yours?” “Yep,” the wife replied, “in-laws.”

  •  Cool joke
  • Mary was having a tough day and had stretched herself out on the couch to do a bit of what she thought to be well-deserved complaining and self- pitying.

  • She moaned to her mom and brother, “Nobody loves me … the whole world hates me!”

  • Her brother, busily occupied playing a game, hardly looked up at her and passed on this encouraging word: “That’s not true, Mary. Some people don’t even know you.”

  •  Funny clean joke
  • An elderly couple had been experiencing declining memories, so they decided to take a power memory class where one is taught to remember things by association.

  • A few days after the class, the old man was outside talking with his neighbor about how much the class helped him.

  • “What was the name of the Instructor?” asked the neighbor.

  • “Oh, ummmm, let’s see,” the old man pondered. “You know that flower, you know, the one that smells really nice but has those prickly thorns, what’s that flower’s name?”

  • “A rose?” asked the neighbor.

  • “Yes, that’s it,” replied the old man. He then turned toward his house and shouted, “Hey, Rose, what’s the name of the Instructor we took the memory class from?”

  •  Funniest joke
  • A mild-mannered man was tired of being bossed around by his wife so he went to a psychiatrist.

  • The psychiatrist said he needed to build his self-esteem, and so gave him a book on assertiveness, which he read on the way home.

  • He had finished the book by the time he reached his house.

  • The man stormed into the house and walked up to his wife.

  • Pointing a finger in her face, he said, “From now on, I want you to know that I am the man of this house, and my word is law! I want you to prepare me a gourmet meal tonight, and when I’m finished eating my meal, I expect a sumptuous dessert afterward. Then, after dinner, you’re going to draw me my bath so I can relax. And when I’m finished with my bath, guess who’s going to dress me and comb my hair?”

  • “The funeral director,” said his wife.

  •  Funny joke of the day
  • A little boy, at a wedding looks at his mom and says, “Mommy, why does the bride wear white?”

  • His mom replies, “The bride is in white because she’s happy and this is the happiest day of her life.”

  • The boys thinks about this, and then says, “Well then why is the groom wearing black…”

  •  Funny joke
  • Once there was a girl who wanted a boyfriend. Her mom wanted to help her, so she set up a blind date for her daughter.

  • When the girl got back from the date she said “That was the worst night of my life!”

  • “Why is that?” her mom asked.

  • “He owns a 1922 Rolls Royce!”

  • “Isn’t that a good thing?”

  • “He’s the original owner mom!”

  •  Halloween jokes
  • A cab driver picks up a nun. She gets into the cab, and the cab driver won’t stop staring at her.

  • She asks him why he is staring.

  • He replies: “I have a question to ask you, but I don’t want to offend you”.

  • She answers, “My son, you cannot offend me. When you’re as old as I am and have been a nun as long as I have, you get a chance to see and hear just about everything. I’m sure that there’s nothing you could say or ask that I would find offensive.”

  • “Well, I’ve always had a fantasy to have a nun kiss me.”
  • She responds, “Well, let’s see what we can do about that. But first, you have to be single and you must be Catholic.”
  • The cab driver is very excited and says, “Yes, I’m single and Catholic!”

  • “OK” the nun says. “Pull off to the side of the road, “maybe we will see what we can do.”

  • The nun plants a whopper of a kiss on the cabbie! But when they get back on the road, the cab driver starts crying.

  • “My dear child,” said the nun, why are you crying?”
  • “Forgive me, but I’ve sinned. I lied. I must confess, I’m married and I’m Jewish.”

  • The nun says, “That’s OK, my name is Kevin and I’m going to a Halloween party.”

  •  Clean jokes
  • While reading a newspaper, Walter came across an article about a beautiful actress and model who married a boxer who was noted for his IQ.

  • “I’ll never understand,” he said to his wife, “why the biggest jerks get the most attractive wives.”

  • His wife replied, “Why, thank you, dear.”





  • A blonde asked someone what time it was, and they told her it was 4:45. The blonde, with a puzzled look on her face replied, You know, its the weirdest thing, I have been asking that question all day, and each time I get a different answer.

  •  Jokes and riddles
  • Who likes to drink cocoa?
  • A Cocoanut!

  •  Jokes of the day
  • It’s the thing that satisfies
  • ur mind, body & soul!
  • Do it on bed, on a sofa,
  • in the car or anywhere!
  • It’s called Prayer!
  • God bless ur naughty mind.

  •  Funny jokes dirty
  • Can we do romance in the midnight today?
  • I’m in a good mood:)
  • Just a little bit of kissing and biting!!
  • Reply me soon,
  • yours Loving Mosquito.

  •  Jokes for kids
  • What kind of snacks does a duck like?

  •  Good jokes
  • A guy walks into a bar and plunks down a huge piece of asphalt. The bar tender asks “What’ll you have?”
  • The guy replies, “Give me a beer and another one for the road.”

  •  Very funny adult jokes
  • A Sardar & his wife filed an application for divorce.

  • Judge asked :
  • How will you divide, you have 3 children?

  • Sardar replied :
  • Ok! We will apply next year.

  •  Little johnny jokes
  • Little April was not the best student in Sunday school.
  • Usually she slept through the class.

  • One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, “Tell me, April, who created the universe?”

  • When April didn’t stir, little Johnny, a boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear. “GOD ALMIGHTY!” shouted April and the teacher said, “Very good” and April fell back asleep.

  • A while later the teacher asked April, “Who is our Lord and Saviour,” But, April didn’t even stir from her slumber. Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again. ‘JESUS CHRIST!” shouted April and the teacher said, “very good,” and April fell back to sleep.

  • Then the teacher asked April a third question. “What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?” And again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin. This time April jumped up and shouted, “IF YOU STICK THAT F*****G THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME, I’LL BREAK IT IN HALF AND STICK IT UP YOUR ARSE!”

  • The Teacher fainted.

  •  Yo mama jokes
  • Yo mama so fat God told her he had no room in heaven and the devil said there was no room in hell

  •  Joke of the day
  • A young girl after her honeymoon
  • came fully exhausted and tired,

  • When her friends asked her what happened?

  • She replied :
  • When this 70 year old bastard told me
  • he has saved a lot from last 50 years,

  • “I thought It was MONEY”




  • I want to suck you
  • lick you
  • wanna move my tongue all over you
  • wanna feel you in my mouth
  • yep, that’s how you
  • eat an ice cream!

  •  Knock knock jokes for adults
  • Knock knock!

  • Who’s there?

  • Madame.

  • Madame who?

  • Madame foot’s caught in the door!

  •  Adult jokes funny
  • In a bath room,
  • a boy touches a girl everywhere!
  • You Know whose that boy?
  • Stupid It’s Lifeboy Soap!
  • Dirty people always think dirty.

  •  Adult santa jokes
  • Banta sits down at the bar, orders a drink and holds his head in his hands.

  • When the bartender comes back, Banta is swearing softly under his breath and shaking his head.

  • “Hey Banta, what’s happening?” asks the bartender.

  • “I’m in DEEP SHIT,” Banta replies. “I just got caught screwing my neighbour.”

  • “Oh wow!” says the barman, “Who caught you? Your wife or her husband?”

  • “No,” said Banta, “HIS wife!”

  •  One liner jokes
  • The fight we had last night was my fault,
  • my wife asked me what was on the TV and i said dust.

  •  Adult jokes sms
  • Always start your day with a lot of… S E X
  • S – SMILE
  • E – ENERGY
  • X – XCITEMENT
  • so make S E X a daily habit, and youll always B SUCC SEX FUL! in LIFE.

  •  Funny dirty jokes
  • Come here,
  • take off your pents and knickers,
  • get on top of me,
  • enjoy until u get satisfied,
  • loving yours…..
  • toilet!

  •  One line jokes
  • Q. Why don’t guys like to preform oral sex on a woman the morning after sex?
  • A. Have you ever tried pulling apart a grilled cheese sandwich?

  •  Jokes for adults
  • Sardar on phone:

  • Doctor my wife is pergnant.She is having pain right now.

  • Doctor: Is this her first child?

  • Sardar: No this is her husband speaking‚¦

  •  Funny jokes for adults
  • NURSE kept SARDAR’S FINGER in HER MOUTH
  • after BLOOD TEST.
  • THEN SARDAR STARTED DANCING .
  • NURSE:y r u DANCING.
  • SARDAR:next is URINE TEST




  • What’s an average 6 inch long
  • Inside a guy’s pants and girls love to blow it up?
  • ?
  • ?
  • ?
  • ?
  • A:1000- rupee currency note.!
  • Always think positive

  •  Funniest adult jokes ever
  • Boy and girl of class 2 asked teacher:
  • “can kids of our age have kids?”

  • Teacher replied ” NO Never!!”

  • Boy said to girl :
  • “see i told you not to worry!!!!”.

  •  Adult joke sms
  • What is the perfect example
  • of both Good & Bad Luck?

  • The naughty wind blows the girl’s skirt high (Good luck)

  • but at the same time

  • Dust falls into the boy’s eyes (Bad luck)

  •  Funny adult jokes
  • A Lutheran pastor, a Catholic priest and a professional poker player were fishing from a boat not from the shore of a lake. The pastor needed to go to the bathroom so he got out of the boat, walked across the water, disappeared into the woods by the shore, then walked back across the water to the boat and climbed back in.

  • The priest was the next to make the trip, getting out of the boat, walking across the water, disappearing into the trees, then walking back across the water and returning to the boat.

  • The professional poker player was the last to go. He stepped out of the boat and immediately sank. The pastor looked at the priest and said: “You really should have told him where the rocks are.”

  •  Sardar adult jokes
  • Sardar sent SMS to his BOSS:
  • “Me sick, no work”
  • Boss SMS back:
  • “When I am sick I kiss my wife try it”
  • 2 hours later sardar sms 2 boss:
  • “Me ok, ur wife very sweet”

  •  Adult joke in hindi
  • A Boy Goes To His Mother One Day With A Puzzled Look.

  • Boy: “Mom, Why Is My Bigger Brother Named Thunderstorm?”

  • She Told Him: “Because He Was Conceived During A Mighty Storm.”

  • Then He Asked: “Why Is My Sister Named Cornflower?”

  • She Replied: “Well, Your Father And I Were In A Cornfield When We Made Her.”

  • Boy: “And Why Is My Other Sister Called Moonchild?”

  • Mom Replied: “Because We Were Watching The Moon Landing While She Was Conceived.”

  • Thoughtfully, Mother Paused And Asked Her Son: “But Why Are You So Curious, Broken Rubber?“

  •  Christmas adult jokes
  • How come you never hear anything about the 10th reindeer “Olive” ?
  • Olive ?
  • Yeah, you know, “Olive the other reindeer, used to laugh and call him names”

  •  Adult joke pictures
  • On the first day of school, the children brought gifts for their teacher.

  • The supermarket manager’s daughter brought the teacher a basket of assorted fruit.

  • The florist’s son brought the teacher a bouquet of flowers.

  • The candy-store owner’s daughter gave the teacher a pretty box of candy.

  • Then the liquor-store owner’s son brought up a big, heavy box. The teacher lifted it up and noticed that it was leaking a little bit..

  • She touched a drop of the liquid with her finger and tasted it.

  • “Is it wine?” she guessed. “No,” the boy replied.

  • She tasted another drop and asked, “Champagne?”

  • “No,” said the little boy………….

  •  Hot jokes for adults
  • Ek Hizda (Chakka) fauj mein bharti ke liye gya.

  • Officer:- Tum fauji nhi bn skty, tumhara wo nhi hai.

  • Hizda (taali mar ke) boal: – haye haye tumko goli chlwani hai ya maa chu*wani hai.

  •  New adult jokes
  • A short thing
  • its get longer as u hold it
  • & pass between woman’s breast
  • & enters into a small hole
  • What is it?

  • Ans. cars seat belt…u dirty mind




  • A short thing
  • its get longer as u hold it
  • & pass between woman’s breast
  • & enters into a small hole
  • What is it?

  •  Adult short jokes
  • Sardar sent SMS to his BOSS:
  • “Me sick, no work”
  • Boss SMS back:
  • “When I am sick I kiss my wife try it”
  • 2 hours later sardar sms 2 boss:
  • “Me ok, ur wife very sweet”

  •  Adult easter jokes
  • Q – How does the Easter bunny stay in shape?
  • A – Hareobics!

  •  Party jokes for adults
  • John, woke up after the annual office Christmas party with a pounding headache, cotton-mouthed and utterly unable to recall the events of the preceding evening.

  • After a trip to the bathroom, he made his way downstairs, where his wife put some coffee in front of him.

  • “Louise,” he moaned, “tell me what happened last night. Was it as bad as I think?”

  • “Even worse,” she said, her voice oozing scorn. “You made a complete ass of yourself. You succeeded in antagonising the entire board of directors and you insulted the president of the company, right to his face.”

  • “He’s an asshole,” John said. “Piss on him.”

  • “You did,” came the reply. “And he fired you.”

  • “Well, screw him!” said John.

  • “I did. You’re back at work on Monday.

  •  Adult jokes in hindi
  • “Kahte Hai Kisi Ko Kuch Kahne Se Pahle Apne Girhebaan Mein Jhank Lena Chahiye, Is Kahavat Ko Sach Karta Ek Joke.”

  • Ek Aurat Ne Rote Hue Apni Sath Wali Padosan Ko Dukhda Sunaya.

  • Aurat: “Mujhe Bachcha Nahi Ho Raha”

  • Padosan: “Tumhara Pati Gandu Hoga?”

  • Aurat: “Mera Pati Kya, Mujhe To Tumhara Pati Bhi Gandu Hi Lagta Hai“

  •  Adult humor joke
  • Hello, this is Sally’s microwave. Her answering machine just eloped with her tape deck, so I’m stuck with taking her calls. Say, if you want anything cooked while you leave your message, just hold it up to the phone.

  •  Funny birthday jokes for adults
  • Its a dedicated ceremony,
  • an anniversary, but not wedding.
  • The easy way to tell is
  • its birthday.
  • Have a smile in all the way
  • & have a lovely birthday.

  •  Great adult jokes
  • A husband and wife had four boys. The odd part of it was that the
  • older three had red hair, light skin, and were tall, while the
  • youngest son had black hair, dark eyes, and was short.
  • The father eventually took ill and was lying on his deathbed when he
  • turned to his wife and said, “Honey, before I die, be totally honest
  • with me – is our youngest son my child?”
  • The wife replied, “I swear on everything that’s holy that he is your
  • son.”
  • With that the husband passed away. The wife then muttered, “Thank God
  • he didn’t ask about the other three.”

  •  Really funny adult jokes
  • A mom of an 8-year-old boy was awaiting her son’s arrival from school. As he ran in, he said he needed to talk to her about making babies. He claimed he knew about the development of a fetus but didn’t understand the answer to that “million dollar question.” Namely, how did the sperm get into the woman? The mom asked the boy what he thought the answer was. The boy said that the sperm is manufactured in the man’s stomach, it rises up to his chest, then throat, and into his mouth whereupon he kisses the woman and deposits the sperm into her mouth. The mom told her boy that was a good guess, but wrong. She said that she would give him a hint… that the sperm came out of the man’s pen*is. Suddenly, the boy’s face became quite red and he said, “YOU MEAN YOU PUT YOUR MOUTH ON THAT THING!?”

  •  One liner jokes adults
  • Q: What’s the difference between your job and a dead prostitute?
  • A: Your job still sucks!






  • An elderly woman went into the doctor’s office. When the doctor asked why
  • she was there, she replied, “I’d like to have some birth-control pills.”
  • Taken back, the doctor thought for a minute and then said, “Excuse me, Mrs.
  • Smith, but you’re 72 years old. What possible use could you have for birth
  • control pills?”
  • The woman responded, “They help me sleep better.”
  • The doctor thought some more and continued, “How in the world do birth
  • control pills help you to sleep?”
  • The woman said, “Simple, I put them in my granddaughter’s orange juice every
  • morning and I sleep better at night.”

  •  Adult joke of the day
  • On a Trans-Atlantic flight, a plane passes through a severe storm. The turbulence is awful, and things go from bad to worse when one wing is struck by lightning. One woman in particular loses it.

  • Screaming, she stands up in the front of the plane. “I’m too young to die!” she wails.
  • Then she yells, “Well, if I’m going to die, I want my last minutes on Earth to be memorable! I’ve had plenty of sex in my life, but no one has ever made me really feel like a woman! Well I’ve had it! Is there ANYONE on this plane who can make me feel like a WOMAN??”

  • For a moment there is silence. Everyone has forgotten their own peril,and they all stare, riveted, at the desperate woman in the front of the plane.

  • Then, a man stands up in the rear of the plane. “I can make you feel like a woman,” he says. He was gourgeous. Tall, built, with long, flowing black hair and jet black eyes, he starts to walk slowly up the aisle,unbuttoning his shirt one button at a time. No one moves.

  • The woman is breathing heavily in anticipation as the strange man approaches. He removes his shirt. Muscles ripple across his chest as he reaches her, and extends the arm holding his shirt to the trembling woman,and whispers: “Iron”

  •  adult hindi joke
  • “Jo Log Sex Karte Hue Bar Bar Condom Pahan Ne Ki Wajah Se Dukhi Hai Kripya Vo Santa Ki Biwi Ka Diya Hua Ye Idea Istemal Kare.”

  • Santa Ke Do Bache The Aur Uski Biwi Nahi Chahti Thi Ki Aur Bachhe Ho

  • So Isliye Vo Use Har Bar Sex Karte Hue Condom Lagane Ko Bola Karti Thi

  • Ek Din Raat Ko Santa Jab Sex Karne Laga To Condom Lagate Hue Bola

  • Santa: “Uff Ye Roz Roz Condom Laga Ke Main To Dukhi Ho Gaya Hun”

  • Biwi Sharmate Hue Masumiyat Se Boli: “Aap Ispe Lamination Hi Kyu Nahi Karva Lete?“

  •  adult jokes hindi
  • Ek Bar Ek Political Rally Mein Santa Ko Police Ne Pakad Liya Aur Khub Jamkar Pityai Kari

  • Baad Mein Logo Ne Jab Reason Pucha To Santa Rote Hue Bola.

  • “Udhar Ek Ladki Apni Chati Pe Sticker Laga Ke Ghoom Rahi Thi “Press” Bus Maine Waha Se Press Kar Diya.”

  •  Adult jokes hindi
  • Punjab Ke Ek Sarkari School Ke Teacher Ne Class Mein Ek Ladki Se Puchha.

  • Teacher: “Tu Kall Kyu Nahi Aayi Thi?”

  • Ladki Sharmate Hue: “Sir, Kal Mujhe Tattiya Lag Gayi Thi”

  • Teacher Hairan Hote Hue: “Phir Kya Hua? Hame Bhi To Tatte Lage Hai Par Hum To Roj Aate Hai”

  •  Dirty christmas jokes adults
  • How come you never hear anything about the 10th reindeer “Olive” ?
  • Olive ?
  • Yeah, you know, “Olive the other reindeer, used to laugh and call him names”

  •  Hindi adult joke
  • Ek Ladki Bus Mein Apne Boyfriend Ki Godh Mein Beithi Thi.
  • Ladki Ne Conductor Se Kaha: “Bus Dheere Chalao Jhatke Bahut Lagte Hai”
  • Conductor: “Oye Madam, Godi Mein Se Uth Ke Dekh Bus To Kab Se Khadi Hai“

  •  Gujarati adults jokes
  • Bapu – Jivla pados ma koi lambi bai re che?

  • Jivlo – ketie y 6.

  • Bapu – ena kapda leto av

  • Jivlo – km bapu?

  • Bapu – Dr e mane thandi ma lambi bai na kapda pervanu kidhu 6.

  •  Urdu adult jokes
  • teri sula ke lu?
  • ya bitha ke lu?
  • ya tujhe karu khada
  • ya fir teri juka-jukake lu?
  • ab tu hi bata
  • ki mein teri…
  • photo kaise lu.

  •  Desi adult jokes
  • Ek Admi Ke Bete Ki Shadi Hone Wali Thi To Vo Furniture Wale Ke Pass Gaya Aur Bola.

  • Aadmi: “Mistri Ji, Bed Zara Majbut Banana, Mere Ladke Ne Bahu Pe Chadna Hai”

  • Ab Mistri Bhi Pura Kameena Tha, Bola: “Ji Chinta Na Kijiye, Aisa Majboot Bed Banaunga Ki Sara Mohalla Bhi Bahu Pe Chad Jaaye To Bhi Nahi Tutega.



  • Men were born between the legs of a woman, yet men spend all their
  • Life and time trying to go back between the legs of a woman…… Why?

  • Because …

  • Home sweet home !

  •  One line adult jokes
  • Q: What’s the difference between your job and a dead prostitute?
  • A: Your job still sucks!

  •  adult urdu jokes
  • Aik bar karo na plz..
  • kisi ko pata nahi chalega..
  • plz karo naaa……..
  • muje acha lage ga…
  • aik bar hamari dosti ki khatri
  • kar do na plzz…
  • aik pyara sa SMS!!!

  •  Adult sms jokes
  • In a party a lady wanted
  • to go to toilet so
  • she inquired with a sardar
  • papaji susu karne ki jagah dikhao,

  • sardarji replied u naughty
  • pehle tum dikhao.

  •  adult hindi jokes
  • “Baba Sexydas Ji Ki Ek Book Chapi Thi, Jismein Se Ek Mahan Vichar Mein Aap Logo Ko Batane Ja Raha Hun, Umeed Hai Aapko Pasand Aayega”

  • Baba Saxidas Ji Ki Book, “Jiyo Aur Jeene Do” Mein Batayi Gayi Ek Baat

  • Paisa Gand Ki Tarah Hota Hai,

  • Sab Ke Paas Hai Par Dene Ko Kisi Ka Dil Nahi Karta,

  • Lekin Lene Ko Saare Phirte Hai

  •  adult knock knock jokes
  • Knock, Knock! Who’s There? Anita! Anita who? Anita Dick inside me!

  •  funniest adult jokes
  • A policeman was patrolling a local parking spot overlooking a golf course. He drove by a car and saw a couple inside with the dome light on. There was a young man in the driver’s seat reading a computer magazine and a young lady in the back seat knitting. He stopped to investigate. He walked up to the driver’s window and knocked. The young man looked up, cranked the window down, and said, “Yes Officer?”

  • “What are you doing?” the policeman asked. “What does it look like?” answered the young man. “I’m reading this magazine.” Pointing towards the young lady in the back seat, the officer then asked, “And what is she doing?” The young man looked over his shoulder and replied, “What does it look like? She’s knitting.”

  • “And how old are you?” the officer then asked the young man. “I’m nineteen,” he replied. “And how old is she?” asked the officer. The young man looked at his watch and said, “Well, in about twelve minutes she’ll be sixteen.”

  •  best adult jokes
  • One morning a woman was walking out of her front door, when she notices a strange little man at the bottom of her garden.

  • “You’re a goblin,” she says, “I caught you and you owe me three wishes!”. So the goblin replies “OK, you caught me fair and square, what’s your first wish?”. The woman stops and thinks for a second, “I want a huge mansion to live in.”, goblins replies “OK, you’ve got it.”. Woman again thinks it over, “My second wish is a Mercedes.” “OK, you’ve got that too.” “My last wish is a million dollars!”. The goblin then says “OK, you’ve got it. But to make your wishes come true you have to have sex all night with me.” “OK then, if that’s what it takes…”

  • Next morning the little man wakes the woman up.

  • “Tell me,” says the man, “how old are you?” “I’m 27”, she replies

  • “Fuck me”, says the man, “27 and you still believe in goblins”

  •  dirty jokes
  • A man and his wife go to their honeymoon hotel for their 25th anniversary. As the couple reflected on that magical evening 25 years ago, the wife asked the husband, “When you first saw my naked body in front of you, what was going through your mind?”

  • The husband replied, “All I wanted to do was to fuck your brains out, and suck your tits dry.”

  • Then, as the wife undressed, she asked, “What are you thinking now?”

  • He replied, “It looks as if I did a pretty good job.”

  •  funny jokes
  • A completely inebriated man was stumbling down the street with one foot on the curb and one foot in the gutter. A cop pulled up and said, “I’ve got to take you in, pal. You’re obviously drunk.”

  • Our wasted friend asked, “Officer, are ya absolutely sure I’m drunk?”

  • “Yeah, buddy, I’m sure,” said the copper. “Let’s go.”

  • Breathing a sigh of relief, the wino said, “Thank goodness, I thought I was crippled.




  • Vese To Suna Tha Ki Sab Doctor Tharki Hoti Hai, Par Ye Wala To Kuch Jyada Hi Tharki Nikla. Ilaz Karna To Dur Khud Hi Bimar Ho Gaya”

  • Badi Dukhi Si Halat Mein Ek Marij Sex Ke Doctor Ke Pass Gaya.

  • Marij: “Doctor Sahab, Mera Khada Nahi Hota”

  • Doctor Ne Apni Ek Sunder Si Nurse Ko Bola.

  • Doctor: “Nurse Idhar Aao, Apni Bra Utaro”

  • Doctor Ne Fir Marij Se Puchha: “Ab Use Dekho, Khada Hua?”

  • Marij: “No”

  • Doctor: “Nurse, Apni Panty Utaro”

  • Doctor: “Ab?”

  • Marij: “No”

  • Doctor: “Ab Tum Bahar Jao Mera Khada Ho Gaya Hai“

  •  adult christmas jokes
  • Why are women’s breasts like a train set a kid gets at Christmas time ?
  • Because they were originally made for children but the father wants to play with them.

  •  hilarious adult jokes
  • A man was going to the dentist to get some teeth pulled. The dentist was about to give the man some local anesthesia to numb the pain.”Don’t give me any drugs doc, I can take the pain.” the man said.The doctor pulled the first tooth out and the man just grunted. Then the doctor attempted to pull the second tooth, only this one snapped in half. But again the man just grunted. “Wow, that sure is a lot of pain just to grunt at, have you ever felt pain like that before?” asked the amazed dentist.”Well, twice actually.” said the man, “The first time was when I was out in the woods and had to take a crap really bad. I pulled down my pants and jumped over this log. Just then a bear trap closed on my balls and I started running….””Damn that must have hurt.” the dentist interrupted. “What was the second time?””Oh, that would have been when the bear trap came to the end of it’s chain.”

  •  funny adults jokes
  • An old maid wanted to travel by bus to the pet cemetery with the remains of her cat. As she boarded the bus, she whispered to the driver, I have a dead pussy.

  • The driver pointed to the woman in the seat behind him and said, “Sit with my wife. You two have a lot in common.

  •  adult blonde jokes
  • Q: What’s the difference between a mosquito and a blonde?
  • A: When you slap a mosquito, it will stop sucking.

  •  adult joke
  • A Young Boy Asks His Dad.

  • Boy: “What Is The Difference Between Confident And Confidential?”

  • Dad Smiled And Says: “You Are My Son, I’m Confident About That. Your Friend Over There, Is Also My Son, That’s Confidential!“

  •  adults jokes
  • Three men go on holiday abroad together. The tourist office informs them that there is only one hotel in town with vacancies. The lads go along there, only to be told by reception that there is just one available room left in the hotel. They are not keen, but as it is their only option, they take the room for one evening and share its only bed.
  • That night, they all enjoy a good night’s sleep. In the morning, the guy on the right side of the bed says,
  • “I dreamt I had the best wank last night.”
  • The guy on the left side says,
  • “That’s funny, I had the exact same dream!”.
  • The guy in the middle says, “I dreamt I was skiing.”

  •  short adult jokes
  • Men were born between the legs of a woman, yet men spend all their
  • Life and time trying to go back between the legs of a woman…… Why?

  • Because …

  • Home sweet home !

  •  hindi adult jokes
  • Duniya Me Sabse Himmat Wala Kon?
  • Ans: DHOBI
  • Kisi k Bhi Ghar Ja ke Keh Sakta Hai
  • Sahab, Madam Ko Bolo
  • Kapde Nikal K Rakhen
  • Main Abhi A kar Leta Hon.

  •  adult dirty jokes
  • A couple of women were playing golf one sunny Saturday morning. The first of the twosome teed off and watched in horror as her ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the next hole.

  • The ball hit one of the men, and he immediately clasped his hands together at his groin, fell to the ground and proceeded to roll around in evident agony.

  • The woman rushed down to the man and immediately began to apologize. “Please allow me to help. I’m a physical therapist and I know I could relieve your pain if you’d allow me,” she told him earnestly.

  • “Ummph, oooh, nnooo, I’ll be alright. I’ll be fine in a few minutes,” he replied breathlessly as he remained in the fetal position still clasping his hands together in his groin.

  • But she persisted, and he finally allowed her to help him. She gently took his hands away and laid them to the side, she loosened his pants, and she put her hands inside. She began to massage him. She then asked him “How does that feel?”

  • He replied “It feels great, but my thumb still hurts like hell.”





  • A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but couldn’t find one big enough for her family. She asked the stock boy, “Do these turkeys get any bigger?” The stock boy answered, “No ma’am, they’re dead.”

  •  free adult jokes
  • American Aur Desi

  • american aur desi mein kya farak hota hai?

  • american kaam ko dimaak mein aur c ko l pe rakhta hai .

  • Aur desi c ko dimaak mein aur kaam ko l pe rakhta hai

  •  adult halloween jokes
  • Question: Why don’t witches ever have babies?
  • Answer: Warlocks have hollow weenies.

  • Question: Why can’t Witches have babies?
  • Answer: Because their husbands have crystal balls

  •  adult halloween jokes
  • 10 Things That Sound Dirty On Halloween, But Aren’t…

  • 1. So…What’d you get in the sack?

  • 2. Once you get under the sheet, start moaning and groaning!!!

  • 3. Just hop on that broomstick and ride it!

  • 4. Those small suckers are gone in a few licks!

  • 5. I got the best piece from that house.

  • 6. Quit screwing around on the porch!!!

  • 7. Stick your hand in and guess what you’re feeling….

  • 8. It was so filled and heavy, I had to use TWO hands!!

  • 9. They’ll suck you dry if they get their teeth in you.

  • 10. I bobbed and bobbed, but couldn’t get my mouth around it!

  •  adult humor jokes
  • One day Mrs. Jones went to have a talk with the minister at the local church. “Reverend,” she said, “I have a problem, my husband keeps falling asleep during your sermons. It’s very embarrassing. What should I do?”

  • “I have an idea”, said the minister. “Take this hatpin with you. I will be able to tell when Mr. Jones is sleeping, and I will motion to you at specific times. When I motion, you give him a good poke in the leg.”

  • In the church the following Sunday, Mr. Jones dozed off. Noticing this, the preacher put his plan to work. “And who made the ultimate sacrifice you?” he said, nodding to Mrs. Jones. “Jesus!” Jones cried as his wife jabbed him in the leg with the hatpin. “Yes, you are right, Mr. Jones,” said the minister.

  • Soon, Mr. Jones nodded off again. Again, the minister noticed.”Who is your redeemer?” he asked the congregation, motioning towards Mrs. Jones. “God!”

  • Mr. Jones cried out as he was stuck again with the hatpin “Right again,” said the minister, smiling. Before long, Mr. Jones again winked off. However, this time the minister did not notice.

  • As he picked up the tempo of his sermon, he made a few motions that Mrs. Jones mistook as signals to bayonet her husband with the hatpin again.

  • The minister asked, “And what did Eve say to Adam after she bore him his 99th son?” Mrs. Jones poked her husband, who yelled, “You stick that dammned thing in me one more time and I’ll break it in half and shove it up your ass!” “Amen,” replied the congregation.

  •  dirty adult jokes
  • This guy was walking down the street and this hooker says, “Say, wanna have a good time?” “Sure,” he says and they were off to the nearest motel.

  • She takes off her clothes and he keeps staring at her. She says, “Is this the first pussy you seen since you crawled out of one?” The guy says,

  • “Nope, just the first one I’ve seen big enough to crawl back into.”

  •  funny adult jokes
  • A mother is in the kitchen making dinner for her family when her daughter walks in.

  • “Mother, where do babies come from?”

  • The mother thinks for a few seconds and says, “Well dear, Mommy and Daddy fall in love and get married. One night they go into their bedroom, they kiss and hug and have sex.”

  • The daughter looks puzzled so the mother continues, “That means the daddy puts his penis in the mommy’s vagina. That’s how you get a baby, honey.” The child seems to comprehend.

  • “Oh, I see, but the other night when I came into your room you had daddy’s penis in your mouth. What do you get when you do that?”

  • “Jewelry, my dear. Jewelry.

  •  adult jokes
  • A guy dies whilst making love to his wife. A few days later the undertaker calls her and says, “Your husband still has a hard-on, what shall I do with it?” The wife replies, “Cut it off and shove it up his arse!” The undertaker does as he is told. On the day of the funeral the wife visits her husband for the last time and sees a tear rolling down his face, so she whispers in his ear, “It fucking hurts doesn’t it!”

  •  jokes about short men
  • Knock Knock
  • Who’s there?
  • I am Short!
  • How Short?
  • Too short to reach the damn door bell!”

  •  you are too short….
  • “You are so short that you make me wonder whether you work at the piggy bank!”




  • A short man lived in the 10th floor and when he needed to get to the 10th floor from the bottom he has to stop at the 7th floor and has to climb to the 10th floor by stairs why?
  • Because he was too short to reach the #10 button in the elevator!

  •  jokes about short people
  • A tall guy walks past a hotel room and notices a short man standing outside the room, looking in the key hole and saying “12….12….12…12”. The short man repeats this act three-four times. The man pushed the short man aside, bent over and looked through the key hole but sees nothing. The short man glanced at the tall man and with a smile starts saying, “13…13…13….13”

  •  jokes about men
  • Why do men like Guy Fawkes so much?

  • Because he had a limp fuse when it was time for the blow-job of a lifetime.

  •  jokes about men
  • A woman goes out to buy a gun.

  • “It’s for my husband.” she explained to the shop owner.

  • “But, madam, guns are very personal. They need to be properly suited to their owner. Why not bring your husband along?”

  • “Because it would ruin the surprise: he doesn’t even know I’m going to shoot him.”

  •  jokes about men
  • Why do women really need men about the house?

  • Because they still haven’t invented a vibrator that can do the dishes, cut the lawn, paint the house………

  •  jokes about men
  • What’s the difference between a smart man and a stupid man?

  • Nothing. They both think they know everything.

  •  jokes about men
  • Woman 1: “Has your guy been circumcised?”

  • Woman 2: “No. He’s a complete dick.”

  •  jokes about men
  • How do men define a “50/50” relationship?
  • We cook-they eat; we clean-they dirty; we iron-they wrinkle.

  •  jokes about men
  • How are husbands like lawn mowers?
  • They’re hard to get started, they emit noxious odors, and half the time they don’t work.

  •  jokes about men
  • If Men Ruled the World…

  • Any fake phone number a girl gave you would automatically forward your call to her real number.

  • Nodding and looking at your watch would be deemed an acceptable response to “I love you.”

  • Hallmark would make “Sorry, what was your name again?” cards.

  • When your girlfriend really needed to talk to you during the game, she’d appear in a little box in the corner of the screen during a time-out.

  • Breaking up would be a lot easier. A smack to the ass and a “Nice hustle, you’ll get ’em next time” would pretty much do it.

  • Birth control would come in ale or lager.

  • You’d be expected to fill your resume with gag names of people you’d worked for, like “Heywood J’Blowme.”

  • Each year, your raise would be pegged to the fortunes of the NFL team of your choice.

  • The funniest guy in the office would get to be CEO.

  • “Sorry I’m late, but I got really wasted last night” would be an acceptable excuse for tardiness.

  • Tanks would be far easier to rent.

  • Garbage would take itself out.

  • Instead of beer belly, you’d get “beer biceps.”

  • Instead of an expensive engagement ring, you could present your wife-to-be with a giant foam hand that said, “You’re #1!”

  • Valentine’s Day would be moved to February 29th so it would only occur in leap years.

  • “Cops” would be broadcast live, and you could phone in advice to the pursuing cops.(Or to the crooks.)

  • The only show opposite “Monday Night Football” would be “Monday Night Football From A Different Camera Angle.”

  • Telephones would automatically cut off after 30 seconds of conversation.




  • What kind of dance does your mom do?

  •  jokes for kids
  • What do you get if you cross a math teacher and a clock?

  •  jiokes for kids
  • Why did the boy eat his math homework?

  •  jokes for kids
  • Why was 6 afraid of 7

  •  I have a confession to make
  • I have a confession to make
  • ever since I met u its been hard for me to 4get u
  • every night I see u in my dreams
  • and find myself shouting
  • GHOST GHOST !!!

  •  mind
  • GALILEO:
  • great mind
  • EINSTEIN:
  • genius mind
  • NEWTON:
  • extraordinary mind
  • BILL GATES
  • brilliant mind
  • ME:
  • master mind
  • YOU:
  • oh!
  • never mind

  •  What’s the difference between stress, tension and panic?
  • What’s the difference between stress, tension and panic?
  • Stress is when wife is pregnant,
  • Tension is when girlfriend is pregnant,
  • Panic is when both are pregnant.

  •  meaning of WIFE.
  • Husband asks, do you know the meaning of WIFE. It means… Without Information fighting every time! WIFE says No, it means – With Idiot For Ever

  •  after reading this SMS.
  • Child Donkey: Mum with whom shall I play, every donkey is busy. Mother Donkey: Don’t worry son, see here, this donkey will be free after reading this SMS.

  •  Three dreams of a man
  • Three dreams of a man: To be as handsome as his mother thinks. To be as rich as his child believes. To have as many women as his wife suspects





  • May our friendship turn into silver, silver into gold, gold into diamonds… and may our diamonds be forever… Then we’ll sell it OK? Fifty-Fifty

  •  A true Friend is not like ‘Rain’
  • A true Friend
  • is not like
  • ‘,”,’Rain’,”,’
  • Which Rained & left away.
  • A true friend is like
  • ~_~AIR_~_~
  • Symptoms silient but always around u :)

  • Take Care alot

  •  Dictionary is da only place….
  • Dictionary is da only place where death comes before life,
  • success before work,
  • & divorce before marriage.
  • but the Best part is
  • Friend comes before relatives :)

  •  True love…..
  • True love is like a pillowU could HUG it when u r in trouble U could CRY on it when u r in pain U could EMBRACE it when u r happy

  • Want True Love?

  • Spend Rs.50 BUY A PILLOW

  •  You must be a good runner
  • You must be a good runner because you are always running in my mind, you must be a good thief because you have stolen my heart, and i am always a bad shooter because I Miss You Always…

  •  It takes 15 trees to
  • It takes 15 trees to
  • produce the amount
  • of paper that we
  • use to write one exam.

  • join us in promoting the noble
  • cause of saving trees.
  • SAY NO TO EXAMS

  •  A student grabbed a coin,
  • A student grabbed a coin,

  • Flipped it in the air & said,
  • “Head, I go to sleep.”

  • Tail, I watch a movie.

  • If it stands on the edge I’ll study

  •  Exams are like Girl friends
  • Exams are like Girl friends
  • – Too many questions
  • – Difficult to understand
  • – More explanation is needed
  • – Result is always fail!

  •  To be a “Good professional”,
  • To be a “Good professional”,
  • always start to study late for “Exams”.
  • Because it teaches how to manage “Time”
  • and tackle “Emergencies”!!

  •  Human brain is the most
  • Human brain is the most
  • outstanding object in world.
  • It functions 24 hours a day,
  • 365 days a year.
  • It functions right from the time we are born,
  • and stop only when we enter the examination hall





  • eXams are there,
  • at the paper u stare;
  • the answer is nowhere,
  • which makes u pull ur hair.
  • The teachers make u glare,
  • the grades r not fair,
  • but just like the past 20 yrs,
  • WE DONT CARE !!

  •  Rain of summer…..
  • Rain of summer, snow of winter,
  • grace of autumn, glory of spring,
  • May beauty of every season
  • give ur heart a beautiful reason 2 smile.
  • May God suceed u in every exams of ur life.
  • Good luck & all the best

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