New Funny SMS Jokes Messages Collection 2016


  • Girl: Papa ek important baath karni thi…

  • Father: Bolo beta…

  • Girl: Mai ek ladke se pyaar karti
  • hoon aur woh america mein rehta hai…

  • Father: Lekin tum is se kaha mili…

  • Girl: WEBSITE by hamari jaan pehchan hui..

  • FACEBOOK by hum dost bane…

  • SKYPE par usne mujhe propose kiya…

  • Aur humne mahino WHATSAPP par pyaar kiya…

  • Father: Ohh!!! Really…

  • Toh ab TWITTER par shaadi karlo…

  • MAKE MY TRIP par honeymoon mana lo…

  • Aur agar pasand nahi aaye pati…

  • Toh OLX pe bech dalo !!!

  • 😀 😉 😛
  • =====================================
  •  Santa Banta Hindi SMS Joke
  • संता दवाई की दुकान गया और बोला भैया मेरी मदद करोगे.

  • केमिस्ट- हाँ हाँ बोलो ???

  • संता ने अपनी दवाई की बोतल से एक चम्मच निकाल कर केमिस्ट को पिलाकर पूछा. मीठी है क्या ?

  • केमिस्ट- नहीं तो, क्या है ये ???

  • संता: बस येही पूछना था. दरअसल डॉक्टर ने बोला था यूरिन टेस्ट करवाओ, की कंही यूरिन में शुगर तो नहीं है…

  • :) 😀 😉 😛 :) 😀 😉 😛
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  •  Naughty Child Jokes in Hindi – Child Jokes Funny
  • पहली कक्षा की टीचर मिस नीलम (आयु 28 वर्ष) को अपने एक स्टुडेंट से कुछ परेशानी हो रही थी…

  • मिस नीलम ने बच्चे से पूछा “तुम्हे क्या प्रॉब्लम हे”

  • बच्चे ने उत्तर दिया..में पहली कक्षा के हिसाब से अधिक स्मार्ट हूँ, मेरी बहिन तीसरी कक्षा में हे जबकि मुझे लगता हे में उससे अधिक स्मार्ट हूँ, इसलिए मुझे भी तीसरी कक्षा में ही होना चाहिए.

  • मिस नीलम बच्चे को लेकर प्रिंसिपल के पास जाती हे और सारी बात बताती हे.

  • प्रिंसिपल कहती हे की वह बच्चे से कुछ प्रश्न पूछेगी यदि बच्चे ने एक भी प्रश्न का गलत उत्तर दिया तो उसको पिछली कक्षा में जाना होगा और अनुशासित रहना होगा.

  • मिस नीलम तय्यार हो जाती हे…

  • बच्चे को सारी शर्ते बता दी जाती हे और बच्चा उत्तर देने को तय्यार हो जाता हे…

  • प्रिंसिपल- 3×3 कितना होता हे?

  • बच्चा- 9

  • प्रिंसिपल- 6×6 कितना होता हे?

  • बच्चा- 36

  • और इस प्रकार प्रिंसिपल बच्चे से वही प्रश्न करती हे जो उसके अनुसार एक तीसरी कक्षा के बच्चे को आने चाहिए.

  • बच्चा प्रत्येक प्रश्न का सही उत्तर देता हे.

  • प्रिंसिपल उसको तीसरी कक्षा में भेजने का आदेश देती हे परन्तु मिस नीलम कहती हे मेरे भी कुछ खास प्रश्नों के उत्तर बच्चे को देने होंगे.

  • क्या में इससे कुछ प्रश्न पूछ सकती हूँ?

  • प्रिंसिपल और बच्चा दोनों इसके लिए तय्यार हो जाते हे.

  • मिस नीलम- ऐसी कौन सी चीज़ हे जो गाय के पास चार होती हे और मेरे पास दो हे.

  • बच्चा- पैर.

  • मिस नीलम- तुम्हारी पेंट में ऐसा क्या हे जो मेरी पेंट में नही हे.

  • बच्चा- पॉकेट्स (जेब).

  • मिस नीलम- वो क्या हे जिसका नाम C से शुरू होता हे और T पर खत्म, इस पर बाल होते हे, और इसमें से सफेद रंग का स्वादिष्ट द्रव निकलता हे.

  • बच्चा- coconut (नारियल).

  • मिस नीलम- वो क्या हे जो अन्दर जाते समय सख्त और गुलाबी होता हे लेकिन बाहर आने पर मुलायम और चिपचिपा हो जाता हे.

  • प्रिंसिपल की आँखे आश्चर्य से फेलनी शुरू हो जाती हे.

  • बच्चा- बबलगम.

  • मिस नीलम- वो क्या हे जो मर्द खड़े होकर करते हे, महिलाये बैठकर और कुत्ते अपनी तीन टांगो पर.

  • इससे पहले की बच्चा उत्तर दे प्रिंसिपल बच्चे को आश्चर्य से देखती हे.

  • बच्चा- shake hands (हाथ मिलाना )

  • मिस नीलम- अब में तुमसे “में कौन हूँ” टाइप के प्रश्न पूछूंगी.

  • बच्चा- ठीक हे…

  • मिस नीलम- तुम अपने पोल्स मुझ में घुसाते हो, तुम मुझे नीचे बांधते हो ताकि में सीधा खड़ा रह सकू, तुम्हारी बजाय बारिश में में पहले भीगता हूँ.

  • बच्चा- टेंट.

  • मिस नीलम- ऊँगली मुझमे जाती हे, जब तुम बोर होते हो तो मुझसे छेड़छाड़ करते हो, बहतरीन व्यक्ति मुझे पहले प्राप्त करता हे.

  • अब प्रिंसिपल बिलकुल ही परेशान हो जाती हे और बच्चे को उत्तर देने से रोकना चाहती हे परन्तु बच्चा कहा रुकने वाला था…

  • बच्चा- wedding ring (शादी की अंगूठी).

  • मिस नीलम- मेरे कई आकर (sizes) होते हे, जब में ठीक नही होती तो में टपकने लगती हूँ, लेकिन उस समय जब तुम मुझे भीचते हो तो तुम्हे अच्छा लगता हे.

  • बच्चा- नाक (nose).

  • मिस नीलम- में सख्त (hard) हूँ, मेरा अगला किनारा (tip) अन्दर घुस जाता हे और अन्दर घुसने के बाद में कुछ देर के लिए हिलता हूँ.

  • बच्चा- तीर (arrow).

  • मिस नीलम- मेरा पहला अक्षर F हे और अंतिम K, मेरा सम्बन्ध अग्नि एवं उत्तेजना (fire and excitement) से हे.

  • बच्चा- firetruck (आग बुझाने वाली गाडी).

  • मिस नीलम- मेरा पहला अक्षर F हे और अंतिम K, यदि में नही हूँ तो तुम्हे अपने हाथ का प्रयोग करना पड़ेगा.

  • बच्चा- fork (खाना खाने का काँटा).

  • मिस नीलम- वो क्या हे जो किसी मर्द का बड़ा होता हे, किसी का छोटा, अपनी इस चीज़ का pope प्रयोग नही करता और प्रत्येक मर्द शादी होने के बाद इसे अपनी पत्नी को देता हे.

  • बच्चा- surname (उपनाम).

  • मिस नीलम- मर्द के कौन से भाग में हड्डी नही होती लेकिन मांसपेशियां होती हे, इसमें पम्पिंग होती हे और यह प्यार करने के लिए बहुत ही अधिक ज़िम्मेदार हे.

  • बच्चा- हृदय

  • प्रिंसिपल एक लम्बी चेन की सांस लेती हे और मिस नीलम से कहती हे “इस बच्चे को दिल्ली यूनिवर्सिटी भेज
  • दो ,क्यूंकि अंतिम दस प्रश्नों में तो मेरा उत्तर (अनुमान) भी ग़लत था!!!

  • :) 😀 😉 😛 :) 😀 😉 😛
  • =====================================
  •  Married Jokes in Hindi – New Married Couple Jokes
  • एक दंपत्ति नें जब अपनी शादी की 25 वीं वर्षगांठ मनायी…

  • तो एक पत्रकार उनका साक्षात्कार लेने पहुंचा.

  • वो दंपत्ति अपने शांतिपुर्ण और सुखमय वैवाहिक जीवन के लिये प्रसिद्ध थे.

  • उनके बीच कभी नाम मात्र का भी तकरार नहीं हुआ था.

  • लोग उनके इस सुखमय वैवाहिक जीवन का राज जानने को उत्सुक थे…..

  • पति ने बताया :

  • हम शिमला घूमने गये.

  • वहाँ हम लोगो ने घुड़सवारी की.

  • मेरा घोड़ा बिल्कुल ठीक था

  • लेकिन मेरी पत्नी का घोड़ा थोड़ा नखरैल था.

  • उसने दौड़ते दौड़ते अचानक मेरी पत्नी को गिरा दिया.

  • मेरी पत्नी उठी और घोड़े के पीठ पर हाथ फ़ेर कर कहा :

  • “यह पहली बार है”, और फ़िर उसपर सवार हो गयी.

  • थोड़े दुर चलने के बाद घोड़े ने फ़िर उसे गिरा दिया.

  • पत्नी ने घोड़े से फ़िर कहा :

  • “यह दुसरी बार है”

  • और फ़िर उस पर सवार हो गयी.

  • लेकिन थोड़े दुर जा कर घोड़े ने फ़िर उसे गिरा दिया.

  • अबकी पत्नी ने कुछ नहीं कहा.

  • चुपचाप अपना पर्स खोला, पिस्तौल निकाली और घोड़े को गोली मार दी.

  • मुझे देखकर काफ़ी गुस्सा आया

  • और मैं जोर से पत्नी पर चिल्लाया :

  • “ये तुमने क्या किया,

  • पागल हो गयी हो?”

  • पत्नी ने मेरी तरफ़ देखा

  • और कहा :

  • “ये पहली बार है”

  • और बस उसके बाद से

  • हमारी ज़िंदगी सुख और शांति से चल रही है.

  • All married man must read it.

  • :) 😀 😉 😛 :) 😀 😉 😛

  •  कुछ लड़कियां तो इस कदर खूबसूरत होती हैं
  • कुछ लड़कियां तो इस कदर खूबसूरत होती हैं, कि….

  • …………..

  • …………………

  • ……………………..

  • लड़के यह कहकर अपने मन में ही खुद को रिजेक्ट कर लेते हैं कि

  • ‘यो न पटे’ !!!

  • :) 😀 😉 😛 :) 😀 😉 😛
  • =====================================
  •  Husband Wife Jokes in Hindi
  • एक बड़े शहर में ” Get Husband ” नामक एक स्टोर खुला।

  • यह 6 मंजिला स्टोर था और हर मंजिल पर हसबेंड पसंद किया जा सकता था।

  • पहली मंजिल से आगे बढ़ते जाने पर और बढ़िया हसबेंड की गारंटी थी।

  • हर मंजिल पर लिखा था कि वहाँ किन विशेषताओं वाले आदमी मिलेंगे।

  • एक महिला हसबेंड पसंद करने उस स्टोर में गयी।

  • पहली मंजिल…

  • इन पुरुषों के पास नौकरी है।

  • महिला आगे बढ़ गयी और दूसरी मंजिल पर गयी।

  • दूसरी मंजिल…

  • इन पुरुषों के पास नौकरी भी है और ये बच्चों को भी प्यार करते हैं।

  • महिला और आगे बढ़ी।

  • तीसरी मंजिल…

  • इन पुरुषों के पास नौकरी है। ये बच्चों को प्यार भी करते हैं और बहुत खूबसूरत भी हैं।

  • “वाह” महिला ने सोचा लेकिन वह और आगे बढ़ी।

  • चौथी मंजिल… इन पुरुषों के पास नौकरी है। ये बच्चों को प्यार करते हैं।
  • बहुत खूबसूरत भी हैं और ये घरेलू कामों में हाँथ भी बंटाते हैं।

  • वाह, और मुझे क्या चाहिए? उसने सोचा लेकिन वह और आगे बढ़ी।

  • पांचवीं मंजिल… इन पुरुषों के पास नौकरी है। ये बच्चों को प्यार करते हैं।
  • बहुत खूबसूरत हैं। घरेलू कामों में हाँथ भी बंटाते हैं और बहुत रोमांटिक मिजाज के भी हैं।

  • महिला वहाँ बहुत खुश हुई। थोड़ा रुकी लेकिन फिर आगे बढ़ गई और छठवीं मंजिल पर पहुंची।

  • छठवीं मंजिल पर लिखा था…

  • आप इस छठवीं मंजिल की विजिटर नंबर 31,456,012 हैं।

  • इस मंजिल पर कोई पुरुष नहीं है। इस मंजिल पर आप अकेली हैं जो इस बात का सबूत है
  • कि संतोषी होना औरत के लिए असम्भव है।

  • हसबेंड स्टोर में शापिंग के लिए आने का बहुत बहुत धन्यवाद!

  • :) 😀 😉 😛 :) 😀 😉 😛

  • उपरोक्त स्टोर के मालिक ने ही एक और स्टोर,
  • इसी स्टोर के सामने सड़क के पार खोला। नाम था “Get Wife ”

  • पहली मंजिल पर लिखा था…

  • ये स्त्रियाँ पुरुषों की सुनती हैं।
  • .
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  • दूसरी, तीसरी, चौथी, पांचवीं और छठवीं मंजिल पर विजिट के लिए
  • कभी भी कोई पुरुष
  • नहीं गया।

  • :) 😀 😉 😛 :) 😀 😉 😛
  • =====================================
  •  Sardar Jokes Latest Hindi
  • Santa student: Miss, kya aap mujhe
  • raat ko call kar rahi thi??
  • Teacher: Nahi toh…
  • Santa: Kamaal hai, subah mere
  • mobile pe likha tha…
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • MISS CALL.
  • Cute Sardars !!!

  • :) 😀 😉 😛 :) 😀 😉 😛

  • SARDAR APNI SISTER KE SAATH BIKE PE JA RAHA THA. BOY: OH! PAAJI GIRLFRIEND K SAATH KAHA JA RAHE HO?
  • SARDAR: OYE ! GIRLFRIEND HOGI TERI..MERI TO SISTER HAI.

  • :) 😀 😉 😛 :) 😀 😉 😛

  • Sardar ka Padosi Mar Gaya: Wo Uske Ghar Gaya or Pucha: Body Aa Gai Kya? Tabhi Body Lekar Ambulance Aa Gayi.
  • Sardar: Lo Batao, Kitni Lambi Umar Hai.

  • :) 😀 😉 😛 :) 😀 😉 😛

  • Sardar Ki Ma Ki Death Ho Gai.
  • Ek Saal Bad Sardar Ka Baap America Se Wapis Aya.
  • Us Ne Pucha Teri Ma Kahan Hai..
  • Sardar Bola Woh To Pichlay Saal Hi Mar Gai Thi..
  • Sardar Ka Baap Rone Laga Or Bola Kuttay, Kaminay..
  • Toh Tune Mujhay Btaya Q Nhi?
  • Sardar Bola-Me Ne Socha Surprise DunGa..

  • :) 😀 😉 😛 :) 😀 😉 😛

  • Once a sardar calls another sardar on the phone and says ‘Hi, Main bol Raha Hoon’. The other sardar replies ‘Oye Kamaal Hai Yaar, Ithe Vi Main Bol Raha Hoon!’

  • :) 😀 😉 😛 :) 😀 😉 😛

  • SARDAR and HIS WIFE GOING 2 CITY IN AUTO….
  • DRIVER ADJUSTED MIRROR..
  • SARDARJI SHOUTED U R SEEING MY WIFE…
  • GO and SIT BACK I WILL DRIVE THE AUTO.

  • :) 😀 😉 😛 :) 😀 😉 😛

  • Hospital me Nurse: Mubarak ho apke Ghar beta paida hua he!
  • Sardar: Wahe Guru! Kya Technology hai. Biwi yaha hospital me he aur beta ghar me paida hua hai.

  • :) 😀 😉 😛 :) 😀 😉 😛

  • 1 bed pe 3 sardar so rahe the. Teeno ko jagah kam pad rahi thi.
  • Ek sardar uth ke niche chala gaya.
  • Toh dono sardar chillae
  • Vapas uper aaja ab jagah ho gai hai.

  • :) 😀 😉 😛 :) 😀 😉 😛

  • Waiter: Your Bill Sir!
  • Santa : Take My Card…
  • Waiter : But Sir, yeh toh aapki shaadi ka card hai!
  • Santa : To Phir Baahar Kya Mazaak Me Likha Hai ?”ALL CARDS ACCEPTED”

  • :) 😀 😉 😛 :) 😀 😉 😛

  •  Sardar Jokes for Whatsapp
  • सरदार : शर्ट के लिये कपड़ा दिखाना.
  • सेल्समेन : प्लेन में दिखाउँ ?
  • सरदार : नहीं हेलीकाप्टर में दिखा…स्टीमर में दिखा, साले बंदर, जहाँ सरदार दिखा नहीं कि मज़ाक शुरू!!!

  • :) 😀 😉 😛 :) 😀 😉 😛

  • टीचर – 1 से 10 तक गिनती सुनाओ।
  • संता ..1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 7, 8, 9, 10..
  • टीचर – 6 कहां है ?
  • संता – जी वो तो मर गया।
  • टीचर – मर गया? कैसे मर गया???
  • संता …जी मैडम, आज सुबह टीवी पर न्यूज में बता रहे थे कि स्वाईन फ्रलू में 6 की मौत हो गई !!!

  • :) 😀 😉 😛 :) 😀 😉 😛

  • Most Awarded Joke of 2015

  • सरदार बरफ का टुकडा हाथ में लेकर गौर से देख रहा था ,

  • किसीने पुछा क्या कर रहे हो ?

  • सरदार : देख रहा हूँ लीक कहाँ से हो रहा है!!!

  • :) 😀 😉 😛 :) 😀 😉 😛

  • सरदार से पुछा वो आईने के सामने बैठ कर क्यों पढ़ता है….. उसने तीन फायदे बताये।
  • 1. साथ साथ revision होता रहता है।
  • 2. खुद पर नज़र रहती है कि पढ रहा हूँ या नहीं।
  • 3. साथ में पढ़ने के लिए company मिल जाती है।
  • SINGH IS KING…..!!!

  • :) 😀 😉 😛 :) 😀 😉 😛

  •  Santa Banta Jokes in Hindi
  • Teacher: Your son has failed See his report…
  • Eng – 20
  • Math – 15
  • Hindi – 18
  • Phy – 13
  • Chem – 15
  • SSt. – 17
  • Total – 98

  • Santa:Total mein toh kamaal hi kar diya hai..Is Subject ka Teachar kaun hai!

  • :) 😀 😉 😛 :) 😀 😉 😛

  • SANTA- maine Pichle 20 Saalo Me 1 Baat Note Ki Hai…
  • Banta: Wo Kya?
  • Santa: Saala Jab Bhi Faatak Band
  • Hote Hai
  • Tab Train Jaroor Aati Hai.

  • :) 😀 😉 😛 :) 😀 😉 😛

  • Santa- tumne itne chhote-Chhote
  • baal Q katwaye?
  • Banta- naai ke paas 3 rupye khulle
  • nahin the, to main bola 3 rupay ke
  • aur kaat de…..

  • :) 😀 😉 😛 :) 😀 😉 😛

  • SANTA- Aaj kal zyada bachche judwa
  • kyo paida hote hai?
  • BANTA-Desh me itna AATANKWAAD
  • badh gaya hai ke bachche akele
  • aane se darte hai.

  • :) 😀 😉 😛 :) 😀 😉 😛

  •  Sardar SMS Jokes in Hindi
  • Doctor : i am sorry,
  • Opration k waqt Rubber k Gloves
  • aapke pet me reh gaye.
  • dobara opration karna hoga.

  • Sardar : abey, pagal he kya?
  • ye le 20 rupaye
  • naya le lena…

  • :) 😀 😉 😛 :) 😀 😉 😛

  • This Sardar ji joke is The Ultimate!

  • Sardar ji Bank me paise jama karane gaye…
  • Cashier:
  • Tumhare Note nakli hai.
  • Sardar:
  • Tujhe kya farak padata hai?
  • Jama to Mere Account me ho rahe hai na…







  • Ek mahila train se utri…
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • .

  • Usne ek Sardarji se puchha: yeh koun sa station hai?
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • .

  • Sardar hasaa…
  • zor se hasaa…
  • zor zor se hasaa…
  • haste haste lot pot ho gaya…
  • aur badi mushkil se sambhalte huye bola Pagli…
  • Ye Railway station hai.
  • :) 😀 😉 😛 :) 😀 😉 😛

  •  Wife Jokes in Hindi – Girlfriend Wife Jokes
  • Wife: Janu ! Aaj tumhari girl friend night stay karne aa rahi hai !
  • Maine fridge mein beer & fresh fruit salad banake rakha hai.
  • Room freshner side table par hai.
  • Nahane ka soap with lime fragrance or towel bhi rakha hai.
  • Main baccho ko Leker mummy ke yaha jaa rahi hoon, kal sham tak aajaungi.
  • Program mein koi change ho tau inform kar dena, mein wahin aur ruk jaungi…!
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • .

  • Isko kahte hai
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • .

  • .
  • .
  • .
  • Mungerilal ke haseen sapne…!!
  • :) 😀 😉 😛

  •  आगरा महानगर की प्राचीन dictionary से लिए गए कुछ चुनिंदा शब्द
  • आगरा महानगर की प्राचीन dictionary से लिए गए कुछ चुनिंदा शब्द
  • कृपया अपनी दैनिक Facebook chat में प्रयोग कर स्वयं को धन्य अनुभव कराएं

  • Excuse me – नैक सुनियो

  • what- ऐँ

  • why- चौँ

  • really – अरे हम्बै??

  • oh no- हौरे नायें

  • hey dude- इँ.. रे

  • hey girl- ऐँ.. री

  • whats up- का है रओ?

  • done – है गओ

  • not done – नायें भओ

  • Let him go – जान्न दै बायi

  • don’t know-मोय नाँ मालम

  • hurry – उलायते

  • Smooth – चीकनो

  • Lady – लुगाई

  • man – मद्द् मान्स

  • Father- डोकर

  • mother – महताई

  • Resolved – सुंटाय दयो

  • Slapping – सूत दयो

  • run away – भाज्ज जा

  • stay here – झईं रहिये

  • now – भियाल

  • not now- अभई नायें

  • never- कभऊ नाँय

  • Wife – बहू

  • Husband- आदमी

  • Boy- छोरा

  • Girl- छोरी

  • Come here- इते आ

  • Go There- पलनग जा

  • Same to same- जैसे कू तैसो

  • Sunlight – घाम

  • shadow – सीरक

  • very- भौत

  • less – नैक

  • basket- कंडिया

  • gate- दरब्बजो

  • neck- नार

  • Knee- गोड

  • Finger – उंगरिया

  • animal- जनावर

  • ox- बद्द

  • rat-मूसटा

  • Confused – लालटेन झप्प।

  • :) :) :)

  •  Vakil Jokes in Hindi
  • प्रोफेसर : “अगर तुम्हें
  • किसी को संतरा देना हो तो क्या बोलोगे…?

  • छात्र : “ये संतरा लो।

  • प्रोफेसर : नहीं…
  • एक वकील की तरह बोलो…।

  • छात्र : मैं एतद् द्वारा, अपनी पूरी रुचि व होशो-हवास में और
  • बिना किसी के दबाव में आए इस फल,
  • जो कि संतरा कहलाता है, और जिस पर मैं
  • पूरा मालिकाना हक़ रखता हूँ, को उसके छिलके,
  • रस, गूदे और बीज सहित आपको देता हूँ और इसके
  • साथ ही आपको इस बात सम्पूर्ण व बिना शर्त
  • अधिकार भी देता हूँ कि आप इसे काटने, छीलने,
  • फ्रिज में रखने या खाने के लिये पूरी तरह स्वतंत्र
  • हैं।

  • आप यह अधिकार भी रखेंगे कि आप
  • किसी भी अन्य व्यक्ति को यह फल इसके छिलके,
  • रस, गूदे और बीज के बिना या उसके साथ दे सकते
  • हैं।

  • मैं घोषणा करता हूं कि आज से पहले इस संतरे से
  • संबंधित किसी भी प्रकार के वाद विवाद, झगड़े
  • की समस्त जिम्मेदारी मेरी है।

  • और अब के बाद मेरा किसी भी प्रकार से इस संतरे से
  • कोई सम्बन्ध नहीं रह जाएगा।

  •  Classic Adults Jokes
  • In life, never look down on anybody, unless u r getting a lovely view of the Cleavage!

  • ********************************

  • Whenever you see a woman and an opportunity … don't screw the opportunity!

  • ********************************

  • Define contraceptive pill?

  • It's the second best thing that a women can keep in her mouth to avoid Pregnancy!

  • ********************************

  • What is the similarity between doing sex & doing surgery?

  • Skill is more important than the instrument!

  • ********************************

  • What is the definition of a Lesbian?

  • Yet another damn woman trying to do a Man's job!

  • ********************************

  • On a NUDE beach a man shakes hand with a lady & says: Pleased to meet U!

  • Lady: Yeah, I can SEE that!

  • *******************************

  • Today's generation:

  • 6 year boy to 4 year boy: Dude, I found a Condom in the balcony.

  • 4 year boy: What's a balcony?

  • ********************************

  • What advice does the doctor give to sick prostitutes?

  • Stay out of BED for two days!!!

  •  Married man’s honest confession
  • Beat this….

  • A married man's honest confession !!

  • I always read my wife's horoscope to see what kind of day I am going to have….

  •  Funny Hindi Animal Jokes
  • Ramlal apni Bhains(Buffelo) ko pregnant karaane ke liye truck mein daal ke dost ke Saand ke paas le gaya…

  • Kaam hone par,

  • Ramlal :

  • Mujhe kaise patta chalega ki Bhains prgnant ho gayi ?

  • Dost : Kal subah agar Bhains leti mili,

  • to samjho prgnant hai.

  • Ramlal :

  • Aur agar khadi mili to ?

  • Dost :

  • To tu Bhains ko fir se lekar aana,

  • Fir se try karenge.

  • Dusre din Bhains khadi mili to Ramlal Bhains ko wapas truck mein daal ke kaam karwa aaya..

  • Par agle din bhi Bhains khadi hi mili.

  • Ramlal Bhains ko fir se truck mein daal kar kaam karwa aaya…

  • 7 din tak yehi silsila chala..

  • 8ve din Subah-Subah Ramlal ki Biwi ne usse jagaa kar uthaya..

  • Ramlal :

  • Bhains prgnant ho gayi kya ?

  • Biwi :

  • Prgnant ka to pata nahin,

  • par wo to subah se truck mein chadhkar

  • Horn baja rahi hai!!!

  •  Married man Dukhi bhi nahi ho sakta
  • Wife: I love you baby..

  • Husband: (softly) i love you too..

  • Wife: upset kyo lg rhe ho….??

  • Husband: Bas thoda mood off tha..

  • Wife: Doston ke saath to bade khush rehte ho, aur mere saath hi drame..

  • Husband: (pyar se) Aisa kuch nahi jaanu, tabiyat thodi theek nahi hai..

  • Wife: Haan abhi dost phone karega to 2 sec me tabiyat theek ho jayegi..

  • Husband: Dost kahan se aa gaye, mera mood thoda upset hai bas..

  • Wife: Mere saath hi ye sab hota hai, friends ke saath enjoy karte ho, badi has has k pictures click karwate ho. Ya koi aur ladki pasand aa gayi..??

  • Husband: (aur jyada pyar se) arrey, kahan se kahan baat le jaa rahi ho..?

  • Wife: Aaj sab clear hoga!! Husband: Kya clear karna hai jaanu, aisa kya ho gaya..??

  • Wife: (khud confused) Jab tum khud clear nahi, tumhe kuch pata nahi to me kya bolun..!!

  • Husband: (trying to act smart) Tumhe hua kya hai!! kis baat pe upset ho?? Batao!!

  • Wife: Tumhari sangat hi kharab hai!! Husband: Mere saath to tum ho!!

  • Wife: Ab bohot ho gaya, ab aur nahi!! Husband: (fully crashed) Hua kya hai, ye to bata do..

  • Wife: Hum ab saath nahi reh sakte?.. Husband: Ye baat kahan se aayi?..

  • Wife: i want Divorce.. Husband: Hmmmm ok?..

  • Wife: (gone crazy) Haan, yehi chahte ho tum to, fir tum jo marzi kar sako..

  • Husband: Arrey tumne khudne bola abhi, maine kya galat kaha..

  • Wife: Itni problem thi to bola kyun nahi, me khud bina bole chali jaati tumhari life se..

  • Husband: (apne baal pakad kar) Mujhe meri galti to bata do..

  • Wife: Waqt aane pe pata chalegi tumhe apne aap, jab me chali jaungi..

  • Husband: Acha, to me wait karta hoon sahi waqt ka..

  • Wife: Tum serious kab hoge..??

  • Husband: Ab kya hospital me admit ho jaun serious hone k liye?..

  • Wife: Go to hell..!!

  • Husband: Dont call me again?.. AFTER 3 HOURS..

  • Wife: Tumhe pata hai na me tumhare bina nahi reh sakti jaanu, sorry i love you my baby..

  • Husband: (Sab bhool kar) Acha, i love you tooo

  • Wife: upset kyun lag rahe ho?…………… !!!

  •  adult nonveg sms
  • Sex is a sensation. It’s about a man’s temptation,
  • putting his location in a
  • woman’s destination.
  • Do you understand the explanation or do you need a

  •  smstextmassages.in
  • A teacher asked “what part of the body goes to heaven first?”

  • A child replied “feet”

  • coz every night I see my mum with her feet in the air screaming

  • GOD I’M CUMIN!





  • Larka : “class fellow s”
  • tum pass ho gai ho .
  • Congrates !
  • Mouh hi metha krwa do..

  • Larki : kiss se ?

  • Larka : chalo isi see krwa do.

  •  nonveg sms hindi 140 character
  • BUY A SCOOTY�..
  • PICK UP A BEAUTY�
  • DRINK A FROOTY�.
  • TAKE HER TO OOTY�
  • REMOVE HER NIGHTY�
  • DO UR DUTY�
  • AFTER 9 MONTHS �
  • * GET A CUTY *

  •  jokes sms in english
  • The most difficult golf course in the world is.. “Women Hole” any style you play.. as many shots you try.. & as much perfection you have.. you can never get your balls in..!!!

  •  double meaning adult sms
  • How to impress a woman: compliment her, kiss her, love her, tease her, protect her, listen to her, support her. How 2 impress a man: Show up naked, bring beer!!

  •  adults jokes hindi 140 character
  • He took me from a bar

  • He took me in his car

  • He took my top off

  • He puts his lips on mine, but don�t worry:

  • I�m a bottle of wine!

  •  adult jokes 140 5
  • Salesgirl : sorry, u cant smoke here,
  • Customer : but i bought cigerates from here
  • Salesgirl : sir we sell condoms too,
  • but it doesnt mean u start fukin here.

  •  140 character adults sms
  • Niple niple little star

  • can i suck you in my car

  • up above the breast so high

  • always milky never dry

  • let me touch it never shy

  • in the bra it will be dry

  •  nonveg sms hindi 140 character
  • Arj kiya hai-
  • Teri ada kafi hai dil jalane k liye,
  • Wah Wah
  • Teri ada kafi hai dil jalane k liye
  • Itni badi pant pehenta hai
  • Choti si mungfali chupane k liye

  •  msg for girlfriend
  • Boy:what is that u keep in ur mouth
  • which is 6″ long
  • and move it in and out
  • and wait for a white substance to come out?

  • Girl: y do u ask such question to me.
  • i cant tell such words

  • Boy:dont worry its tooth brush

  •  love hot sms
  • Lady 2 dentist: Dant nikalwane se to pregnent hona achha hai,
  • Dard to kam hota hai..

  • Destist: abhi soch lo kya karwana hai,
  • fir main chair usi hisab se set karu



  • biology teacher told all students to draw female reproductive organ.
  • one girl felt shy and looked down.
  • sardar boy shouted – mam she is copying.

  •  latest funny jokes in hindi
  • KAMASUTRA says that.. sex is..

  • Duty- if done with ur wife..
  • Art- if done with ur love..
  • Education- if done with a virgin..
  • Tution- if done with ur teacher..
  • Job- if done with your boss/secretary..
  • Science- if done with a fertile lady..
  • Business- if done with a prostitute..
  • Social work – if done with ur neighbour
  • Charity- if done with a widow
  • Sacrifice- if done with ur own hand

  •  adult sms in hindi
  • A man married lady traffic police.
  • Friend- How was your 1st night?
  • Man-she collected Rs.100 from me for overspeed.
  • Rs.200 for wrongside entry, Rs 500 for witout helmat.

  •  hindi jokes 140 words
  • Saas: Naya chawal aaya hai, pakane mein kesa hai?
  • Bahu: Bilkul aap k bete jesa, charhte hi pak jata hai,foran pani chor deta hai is liye foran utarna parta hai

  •  short funny adult jokes 6
  • Door Rahishu To Pan Dil Ma Rahishu..
  • Samay Na Sathvare Fari Malta Rahisu..
  • Aam To Hu Chandra Nathi, Chatay Karso Yaad..
  • To Amas Ma Pan Malta Rahisu..

  •  nonveg sms hindi 140 character
  • Door ganoon may 1 basti thee,
  • jahan per randian basti thee,
  • unki gand my itni masti thee,
  • jitna dalo hansti thee, (end)

  •  new latest sms
  • Door ganoon may 1 basti thee,
  • jahan per randian basti thee,
  • unki gand my itni masti thee,
  • jitna dalo hansti thee, (end)

  •  joketext
  • Srdr: Mestriji, Bed pakka banana, Mere Bete ko Bahu par chadna he
  • Mestri: Aisa bed banaunga ki, chahe sara maholla chhad jaye kuch nahi hoga

  •  double meaning sms tamil quotes
  • A Black Baby Was Given A Set Of Wings By God.
  • The Baby Asked “Does This Mean I’m An Angel”.
  • God Laughed And Replied,
  • “Nah Niggah U Is A Bat!”

  •  adult nonveg sms
  • 5 men enter a KINGFISHER flight & force all airhostess nude.

  • All girls lie down naked.

  • 1 girl asks: Is it a Hijack,Robbery or Mr.Mallya’s routine visit 



  • Wife: I am Pregnant.
  • Santa: Par main to england me tha
  • Wife: Aapki photo thi na
  • Santa: Ullu mat bana kamini photo to kamar tak hi thi..

  •  adult jokes 140
  • Always remember:
  • When a girl cancels a date
  • it is because She “Has To”
  • and
  • When a boy cancels a date
  • it si becasuse He “Has Two”

  •  140 adult sms
  • This my most beautiful SMS for you
  • If you read you owe me a HUG,
  • If you delete you Owe me a kiss,
  • If you save you owe me a DATE,
  • If you return text message to me,
  • You OWE me All,
  • But if you ignore,
  • You are MINe!
  • So wat will You do?

  •  romantic sms for girl friend
  • Kabhi waqt mile to aajao,
  • Ham jheel kinare ja baithen,

  • Tum apne sukh ki baat karo,
  • Hum apne dukh ki baat karain,

  • Aur un lamhoon ki baat karain,
  • Jo sung tumhare beet gaye,

  • Aur ehd-e-khizan ki nazar howy,
  • In sabz ruton k daman mai,

  • Hum pyar ki khushbo mehkain,
  • In bikhray sabz nazaron ko,

  • Ham aankhon men tasveeer karain,
  • Phir apne pyar k jado se,

  • Hum lamhoon ko jageer karain,
  • Kabhi waqt milaye to ajao…

  • Hum jheel kinare ja baithen

  •  nonveg sms hindi 140 character
  • HONTON” se tere “HONTON” ko geela kr don
  • Tere “HONTO” ko me or bhi raseela kr don
  • Tu is qadar PYAR kary k PYAR ki inteha ho jaey,
  • Tere “HONTO” ko choos kr tujhe or bhi joshila kr don
  • Na rahe aarzo dor hatne ki
  • raat jo Pakron tere “HOONT” apne “HONTO” se,
  • Subha tak tery “HOONT”or nashela kr don.

  •  romantic sms for boyfriend
  • Raat ko karo gey to SuSt raho gey…..
  • Din ko karo gey to ChuSt Raho gey…
  • Kartey raho gey to TanDrusT Raho gey…
  • EK SMS YAAR!!!!

  •  nonveg sms eng 140 character
  • Sex is like NOKIA (connecting people)

  • like NIKE (just do it)

  • like PEPSI(ask for more)

  • like SAMSUNG (everyone is invited) and

  • like ME (TO GOOD TO BE TRUE)..

  •  non veg sms for girlfriend
  • Niple niple little star

  • can i suck you in my car

  • up above the breast so have

  • always milky never dry

  • let me touch it never shy

  • in the bra it will be dry

  •  non veg sms 140 words
  • He took me from a bar

  • He took me in his car

  • He took my top off

  • He puts his lips on mine, but don’t worry: I’m a bottle of wine!

  •  adults jokes in english language
  • A girl who opens her hands receives gifts,

  • who opens her heart receives love,

  • who opens her legs receives happiness






  • Last night, I went to bed without u..cold, naked, thinking of u, missing ur warmth, ur soft touch against my skin. Where were u last nite,

  • my lovely pyjamas 😉

  •  double meaning sms
  • A young girl after her honeymoon
  • came fully exhausted and tired,

  • When her friends asked her what happened?

  • She replied :
  • When this 70 year old bastard told me
  • he has saved a lot from last 50 years,

  • “I thought It was MONEY”

  •  englishlovejoks
  • I want to suck you
  • lick you
  • wanna move my tongue all over you
  • wanna feel you in my mouth
  • yep, that’s how you
  • eat an ice cream!

  •  adults sms
  • Sardar on phone:

  • Doctor my wife is pergnant.She is having pain right now.

  • Doctor: Is this her first child?

  • Sardar: No this is her husband speaking

  •  awesome jokes sms
  • A girl phoned me
  • the other day and said …
  • “Come on over, there’s nobody home.”
  • I went over. Nobody was home

  •  jokes sms in english
  • biology teacher told all students to draw female reproductive organ.
  • one girl felt shy and looked down.
  • sardar boy shouted – mam she is copying.

  •  jokes in hindi 140 words funny
  • Santa goes library n asks 4 a book ‘Psycho- the rapist’.
  • The librarian searches, come back n says:- idiot,
  • the book called
  • ‘PSYCHOTHERAPIST’.

  •  jokes for adults
  • Richman to poorman- ‘How come ur penis so big? Poorman- replied: ‘B’coz in my childhood i had no other toys to play with!!!

  •  hindi funny sms in 140 words non veg
  • Dosti Bubs nahi jo dab jaye Dosti Lund nahi jo thak jaye Dosti gand nahi jo phat jaye Dosti to chut he mere dost jo samay Ke sath gehri hoti jaye.

  •  gud eve sms
  • Shadi k 6 mahine baad ladki Maa se boli
  • Apne jo BED dia tha wo lambai me chhota he
  • Maa:Tu ab bata rahi he 6 mahine baad.
  • Ladki:Taange hi ab SEEDHI huyi he..





  • Suhaag Raat k Agle din:
  • Wife:Janu Nashta krna hai?
  • Hus:sex hi hamra Nashta hai & Sex start.
  • Wife Dupahar
  • ko:Khana khate hai?
  • Hus:sex hi khana hai & Again sex Start!
  • Raat ko Jab Pati room me Aya to Wife heater k Aage tange fela k baithi thi
  • Hus: ye kya kar rhi ho?
  • Wife:Raat ka khana garam kar rhi hu.

  •  father day sms text
  • Lady-1 Shampoo plz
  • Shopkpr-Agar Head k bal dhone hai to HEAD N SHOLDER aur agar PANTY k bal dhone hai to PANTENE le lo.
  • Lady-GARNIER do Gand dhoni hai.

  •  englishlovejoks
  • 1 Mouse was fucking an elephnt in a coconut farm.
  • 1 cocnt fals on elephant’s head
  • elpt: oouch!
  • mouse: oouch vouch kuch nahi gandu
  • Apna SHOT to aisa hi hota hai..

  •  double meaning sms
  • A doc advising his patient who had a heart attack:
  • No smoking,
  • No drinking &
  • Have sex only with ur wife because it is very important that you avoid excitement!

  •  awesome jokes sms
  • What is common between bosses & sperms.. . . Only 1 in a million turns out to be a human being!!! 😉

  •  alone quotes
  • Mukesh tels anil-i wanna kiss ur wife….Anil rplies ok but 40p/min..Neeta screams 4m inside-don cheat..Rlaince 2 rlaince is free.

  •  adults hindi sms
  • Pati sex karte hue bola:ladka nikalu ya ladki?Patni: tumhari ma ka bhosda,dard se meri gaand fati ja rahi hE.Pahle jo dala hE voto nikalo!

  •  adult sms in hindi 2012
  • Ek ladki ne 1 kutiya se pucha-Tumhe ek sath itne bachche kaise hote hai.
  • Kutiya-kabhi sadak par nangi ghumo phir pata chalega.

  •  adult sms download
  • Couple ne sex code rakha:KAPDE DHONA
  • Pati: Kapde dhone hai, washng machn khali hai?
  • Biwi: No!
  • 1ghante baad,
  • Biwi: machine tayar h
  • Pati: Maine hath se dho liye.

  •  adult marathi jokes
  • Pathan 10 saal se
  • Ro ro kar Khuda se Aulad maang raha tha.
  • 1 din faristha aya aur bola
  • oye
  • Khan
  • Tum ko Alah ka
  • Vasta mere bhai,
  • Sirf EK BAR
  • AAGE SE TO DAAL !




  • A maths professor sent a sms to his wife. Dear you are now 54 years old and unable to satisfy me. Now I am with my 18 years old female student so I will be late tonight.
  • Wife replied: dear you’re also 54 years and unable to satisfy me. Now I am with our driver who is also 18 years. As you are mathematicians you know very well that 18 goes into 54 many times more than 54 goes into 18 so don’t come tonight.

  •  hindi short adult sms
  • Boy: aunty why was uncle lying on you last night?
  • Aunty: he was checking my temperature.
  • Boy: did he get it right? I saw the thermometer leaking.

  •  hindi jokes in hindi language
  • A few quotes on girls t-shirt:
  • there s a face above this, don’t forget.
  • Object here appear bigger than they are.
  • I made you look at it.
  • F ck all that is missing is u.
  • Don’t try to find sun here, its not mountain. This one is really tough for Edmund Hillary.

  •  hindi jokes 140 words
  • Dad brought a robot which slaps a person who lies.
  • Dad: son, where were you?
  • Son: School, robot slap. Son: film.
  • Dad- which one?
  • Son: sai baba, robot slap again. Son: “A” film
  • Dad: what? I have not seen such films, robot slaps dad.
  • Mom: forgive him dear after all he is your son, robot slaps mom.

  •  hindi jokes 140 words
  • A boy wanted to have sex with girl friend ashamed of his small sex organ decided to bring girl friend in dark place opened his zip and put his sex organ on girl friend hands.
  • Girl friend: No thanks, I don’t smoke.

  •  hindi funny sms in 140 words non veg
  • Boy saw a lady with big breast.
  • He asked her: can I bite them for $1000?
  • She says: ok they go to a secluded corner. She opens her blouse.
  • The boy kisses, licks, puts his face in them, presses them hared for 10 minutes
  • Lady asks: aren’t you gonna bite them?
  • He replies: no, it’s too costly.

  •  gujarati adult joks sms 6
  • Who’s guilty? Wife dreaming in the night suddenly shouts “quickly my husband is back” man get up, jumps out of the window and realizes, dammit I am the husband.

  •  gud eve sms
  • A boy and animal went to river to take a bath. As he removed his clothes all animal laughed at him.
  • He asked: why are you laughing at me?
  • Animals: your tails in front.

  •  fathers day quotes in hindi
  • Teacher: explain responsibility.
  • Student: mam your blouse has four buttons, if three buttons break down the entire responsibility will be on the fourth one.

  •  father day sms text
  • Officer: madam swimming is prohibited in this lake.
  • Lady: then why dint you tell me when I was removing my clothes?
  • Officer: well, that’s not prohibited.





  • Research shows men are fat than Women because every night men gets fresh milk and two big apples while women only gets one banana two nuts and one spoon curd.

  •  double meaning sms tamil quotes
  • Nurse lost her cat in hospital, anyone have female sex organ All women stood up. I mean anyone seen a female sex organ? All men stood up, I mean anyone seen my sex organ, all doctor stood up.

  •  awesome jokes sms
  • sexy and attractive female employee meets her boss and says sir will you remove something from my breast?
  • Boss: what?
  • Girl: your eyes.

  •  alone quotes in hindi
  • A man lying on the beach, wearing nothing but a cap over his dick. A woman passing by remarks: if you were any sort of a gentle man, you would lift your hat to a lady. He replied: if you were any sort of a sexy lady, the hat would lift by itself.

  •  dults jokes in hindi language
  • Why girls are called babes?
  • Answer: because they wear nappy pads even when they are grownups.

  •  adults jokes in hindi
  • A nigro man attended a night party without dress. The man thought he was in black suit and told your suit is nice, but tie is in the wrong place.

  •  adulthindijokes 6
  • In a lift, man elbow accidently touched lady’s breast.
  • Man: if your heart is soft as your breast you will forgive me.
  • Lady: if you sex organ is hard as your elbow I am in room 207.

  •  adult sms in hindi 2012
  • What is long and hard? Has a hole at the tip and when inserted into wet, hairy, tight hole, makes men and woman feel great? Vicks inhaler.

  •  adult sms in gujarati
  • Three ladies saw a dog ucking violently.
  • Dr’s wife: they are enjoying life.
  • Lawyer’s wife: no, it’s a rape.
  • Army officer: I think the dog has come on a holiday.

  •  adult sms download
  • A boy comes to class with broken specs.
  • Teacher: what happened?
  • Boy: I was kissing my girlfriend.
  • Teacher: but how did your specs break?
  • Boy: she closed her legs.






  • Girl> Agar Tumhe 8 Boobs mile to kya Karoge?

  • Boy> Khushi se Dabaunga, Chusunga, Chatunga, Uspe Sounga..

  • Girl>To Wahan 1 Kutiya leti hai, ja Shuru ho ja..!!

  •  dirty jokes in hindi
  • 1 aurat najumi se, kia mere haath mei dolat ki lakir hy?
  • Najomi
  • Yes ap k pas dolat ki do lakire hy 1
  • agay 2sri piche Ab apki marzi hy jis se marzi dolat kamao.

  •  hot sms hindi
  • 2 Lovers Went 2 c film
  • a mosquito enters into boy’s pent
  • .
  • n guess Where it bites?
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • Naughty mind,
  • alWays think bad!
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • it bites on . .
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • Girl’s hand…

  •  dirty hindi jokes
  • Teacher : what do u want to become ? Ram – doctor T. – why ? Ram – bcoz its only profession where u can tell a woman to take off her clothes and her husband pay 4 it

  •  37. desi adult jokes
  • Girl to his boyfriend: What is Love?
  • Bf : Love Means
  • L : L ko pakadkar
  • O : O ko dabakar
  • V : V me dalkar
  • E : jab E ki aawaj aaye

  • to samajh lena LOVE ho gaya….

  •  non veg sms
  • BANK CASHIER:
  • Madam, aap So So ke lengi..

  • FRUIT SELLER:
  • bhabhiji, jaraa kele ka size to dekho,
  • dil khush ho jaayega.

  •  sms jokes in hindi
  • Girl: meri choot main ungli dalo.
  • Dusri b dalo.
  • ab pura hath b dalo.
  • Ab dusra hath b dalo
  • ab dono hathon se taali bajao.

  • Boy:nahi bajti

  • Girl:Dekha kitni tight hai na??

  •  don’t leave me alone quotes
  • The importance of Unity Explained at its Best… One leg of a Woman tells to the other leg: “UNITED we are saved, divided we are Fucked…!!

  •  shayari on smile
  • Malika Sherawat quotes-
  • JHATKON SE AGAY JAHAN OR BHI HEN Me Likhti Hai: MARD Ki Taqat Ka Andaza Os K Zor Se Nahi, Larki K ShOr Se Hota Hai:D

  •  hot sms in hindi
  • Dr Mareez Se: Tum Bohat KamzOr Ho DoOdh Daba K PiyO After 1 Month Dr: Tum Abhi Tak KamzOr Ho?? Mareez: Dr. Sahab Wo Sirf Dabane Deti Hai Peene Nahi Deti




  • 1 admi ka gala kharab tha woh raat 3 baje Dr. ke ghar gaya.

  • Dard ke waja se bahut ahista se pucha Dr. hain?
  • Uski biwi usse bhi aahista se boli
  • Nahi hai aajao.

  •  double meaning hindi jokes
  • Bikini is a dress where 90% of the woman body is exposed..
  • but men r very decent.
  • they dont look at that 90%
  • they look only at the covered 10%.

  •  adult joke hindi
  • adki injection lagwate hue:zara aahista dard ho raha hai. Dispenser:jab rape hua to dard nahi hua?larki:us time hosh main nahi josh main thi.

  •  sms for husband
  • A boy wanted to have sex with girl friend ashamed of his small sex organ decided to bring girl friend in dark place opened his zip and put his sex organ on girl friend hands.
  • Girl friend: No thanks, I don’t smoke.

  •  adult sms 140 in hindi
  • 1 Admi k Pas 10 inch ka Ghora tha.

  • Dost ne Pocha k ye kahan se lia hai?

  • Wo bola k Pahar k pas 1 baba betha hai us se jo mango daita hai,

  • lekin itna khayal rahy k wo ooncha sunta hai.

  • Dost baba k pas Gya aur bola baba ji Mujhe HEERAY ki Bori do.

  • Baba ne kuch parha to bori aa gai;

  • wo le kr jb neechay aaya to us main KHEERAY thay.

  • Us ne dost ko btaya k yar main ne to Heeray mangay thay Magar ye to Kheeray hain.

  • Dost ne jwab dia k ‘Tumhain btaya to tha k baba ooncha sunta hai;

  • Ab tujhy kia lgta hai k main ne 10 inch ka GHORA manga tha??

  •  funny adults sms in hindi 140
  • Be extra careful…..

  • In Dino Apna Bohat Khayal Rakhna.

  • KHANA Waqt Per Khana.

  • ZEYADA Wazan Nahi Uthana.

  • SEERIYHAN ehteyat Se. Charhna.

  • Q K.

  • 8wan MAHINA Chal Raha Hai. Aur Theek 23Dino Baad Tum Ko KHUSHi Milne Wali Hai.

  • .

  •  adult joke hindi
  • Girl: Is dress ka kya price hai?
  • Shopkeeper: Sirf 5 kiss
  • Girl: Aur us dress ka?
  • Shopkeeper: 10 kiss
  • Girl: Dono dress pack kar do, bill daadi dengi 😉

  •  shayari on smile
  • Sardar dost say: Yar BV nu birthday tay ki gift dawan?
  • Dost: Apna Lun day.
  • Sardar: Nai yar koi wada gift das.
  • Dost: Far mera Lun day day

  •  alone sms in hindi
  • Nahi plz

  • Neeche mat jao na

  • Kuch ho jaye ga

  • Plz

  • Dekho aisa mat karo

  • Maan jao na plz

  • Warna

  • â?¦Ho jaye ga

  • Plz mat jao

  • Aaah

  • Dekha

  • Ho gaya na

  • SMS Khatam!

  •  hindi dirty jokes
  • Girl to Mom: Ammi ammi aaj main collage nahian jahoon gi
  • Mom: Lakin keun
  • Girl: Larkay TANG kartay hain
  • Mom: Chal jhutti Larkay to KHULLI kartay hain




  • 7 chlne k lye tmhara hath kesy thamon
  • Dost
  • Tmhe to doosron k tattay uthany se furst nh milti

  • (“.)
  • \ \ (.”)
  • ) ):_//( ? G sir
  • |,|_ /\,

  •  non veg hindi sms
  • Boy: Breast ke taraf ishara keraty hway, Amme Amme yeh kia hain

  • Amme: Beta yeh Ghubaray Hain.

  • Boy: Tu Amme masi kay baray kion hain.

  • Amme: Tumnay kub daikhay.

  • Boy: Jub papa un main hawa bhar rahay thay

  •  hot sms in hindi
  • A sardar was running with his pregnent wife,
  • who was about to deliver, when another sardar asked him,
  • O pernam singh, oye woti nu ais haal vitch le ke kithey puj rya vain, pernam singh replied,
  • assi Pizza hut chaley aan,
  • sunya aa othey free delivery hondi aaa.

  •  nonveg sms in hindi 140 character
  • 1 Ladka, Ladki dekhne gaya
  • Bahut der se SUSU rok rakha tha
  • baad mein Ladki se bola
  • SUSU karne ki jagah dikhao.

  • Ladki sharmate huye:
  • PAHLE AAP DIKHAO.

  •  double meaning hindi jokes
  • 2 men were up bcoz their wifes were learning cars
  • 1st:mere biwi raat ko lund pakar kar gear badalti hay
  • 2nd:mere biwi tang utha ke k kahti hay5 litre dal day

  •  adult joke hindi
  • dekho eik couple sex kar raha hai

  • ah
  • oh

  • dheere
  • ah

  • mar gayi
  • ah
  • oh

  • ahah

  • chal ab bas kar

  • 1 rupee k sms mein kya pori blue film dikhaon

  •  non veg jokes in hindi
  • Rishte ki baat chal rahi thi:
  • Faraz clerk hai 5000 pagar hai
  • uper se 15000 kamata hai
  • lardki walle: lardki nurse hai
  • 2500 pagar hai + nicche se 50000
  • kamati hai!

  •  nonveg sms in hindi 140 words
  • dekho eik couple sex kar raha hai

  • ah
  • oh

  • dheere
  • ah

  • mar gayi
  • ah
  • oh

  • ahah

  • chal ab bas kar

  • 1 rupee k sms mein kya pori blue film dikhaon

  •  funny adult jokes
  • Boy: aunty why was uncle lying on you last night?
  • Aunty: he was checking my temperature.
  • Boy: did he get it right? I saw the thermometer leaking.

  •  adult sms collection
  • A guy and girl had sex poem competition.
  • Guy: two times two is four, hour plus five is nine, I can put mine in yours, but you can’t put yours in mine.
  • Girl: two times two is four, hour plus five is nine, I know the length of yours but you will never know the depth of mine.





  • A few quotes on girls t-shirt:
  • there s a face above this, don’t forget.
  • Object here appear bigger than they are.
  • I made you look at it.
  • F ck all that is missing is u.
  • Don’t try to find sun here, its not mountain. This one is really tough for Edmund Hillary.

  •  short adult jokes
  • Dad brought a robot which slaps a person who lies.
  • Dad: son, where were you?
  • Son: School, robot slap. Son: film.
  • Dad- which one?
  • Son: sai baba, robot slap again. Son: “A” film
  • Dad: what? I have not seen such films, robot slaps dad.
  • Mom: forgive him dear after all he is your son, robot slaps mom.

  •  adult sms 140
  • Man with no sex organ used a vibrator for years one day wife caught and asked: how dare you cheat me? Man: I will explain about the toy, can you explain about kids.

  •  don’t leave me alone sms
  • What is sex? Its science with wife, its art with girlfriend, its commerce with prostitute and its social service with aunties.

  •  nonveg jokes
  • Rishte ki baat chal rahi thi:
  • Faraz clerk hai 5000 pagar hai
  • uper se 15000 kamata hai
  • lardki walle: lardki nurse hai
  • 2500 pagar hai + nicche se 50000
  • kamati hai!

  •  jokes for adults
  • In lift, mans elbow accidently touch lady’s breast.
  • man: if ur heart soft as ur breast ull forgive me.
  • lady: if ur cock s hard as ur elbow im in room 207.

  •  adult msg
  • Condom says to whisper : buddy every months u stop my business for one week
  • Whisper says : ahh if u make a mistake one time, I’ll loose my business for 9 months.

  •  adult sms
  • What’s the similarity between school bell and girls hole? When you hit any of these, children come out.

  •  desi adult jokes
  • Contest in a girl’s college: write a short essay which contains religion, sex and mystery. Winners essay: oh god, I am pregnant, I wonder who did it.

  •  don’t leave me sms
  • One man married lady traffic police. Friend asks how your 1st night was. She collected Rs.100 from me for over speed, Rs.200 for wrong side entry, Rs.500 for no helmet.




  • Who is senior’s female sex organ or male sex organ? Answer: female sex organ because male sex organ always stands up when he sees a female sex organ, so respects the seniors.

  •  desi adult jokes
  • Boy saw a lady with big breast.
  • He asked her: can I bite them for $1000?
  • She says: ok they go to a secluded corner. She opens her blouse.
  • The boy kisses, licks, puts his face in them, presses them hared for 10 minutes
  • Lady asks: aren’t you gonna bite them?
  • He replies: no, it’s too costly.

  •  love sms
  • Customer: my wife needs a bra but I don’t know the size. Salesgirl: touch my breast and try to calculate. Customer: oh I forget he needs panties too.

  •  18. short adult jokes
  • Teacher: explain responsibility.
  • Student: mam your blouse has four buttons, if three buttons break down the entire responsibility will be on the fourth one.

  •  love sms for husband
  • Boy: if I kiss you and run away then what will you think?
  • Girl: I will think that a fool instead of attending the full paper just attended the one mark alone and failed.

  •  non veg jokes
  • Do you know why a girl gets full mark and boys get fail in practical? It’s when they both remove their 1st button of shirt in front of external.

  •  non veg jokes
  • Salesgirl : sorry, u cant smoke here,
  • Customer : but i bought cigerates from here
  • Salesgirl : sir we sell condoms too,
  • but it doesnt mean u start fukin here.

  •  double meaning sms
  • A man lying on the beach, wearing nothing but a cap over his dick. A woman passing by remarks: if you were any sort of a gentle man, you would lift your hat to a lady. He replied: if you were any sort of a sexy lady, the hat would lift by itself.

  •  non veg sms
  • Girl told to tire mechanize have sex with me. Mechanic told, ok. Come to swimming pool. She asked why? He replied because I can identify the hole only in water

  •  adult punjabi sms
  • biology teacher told all students to draw female reproductive organ.
  • one girl felt shy and looked down.
  • sardar boy shouted – mam she is copying.






  • T-shirt quotes: now more tastier and healthier, handle with care, tasted by experts, shake well before use, can make boneless thing hard, no one can use just once.

  •  adult msg
  • In a lift, man elbow accidently touched lady’s breast.
  • Man: if your heart is soft as your breast you will forgive me.
  • Lady: if you sex organ is hard as your elbow I am in room 207.

  •  don’t leave me alone quotes
  • Difference between bad and worse.
  • Bad: when your children find your last night used condom.
  • Worse: when they insist you to blow that balloon for them.

  •  adult sms 140
  • A naked lady gets into taxi. Driver looks at her. Lady: haven’t you ever seen a naked woman?
  • Driver: no I am just wondering where you have kept the money to pay me.

  •  adults jokes in 140 words
  • Three ladies saw a dog ucking violently.
  • Dr’s wife: they are enjoying life.
  • Lawyer’s wife: no, it’s a rape.
  • Army officer: I think the dog has come on a holiday.

  •  sms for adults
  • Sex teacher draws picture of male sex organ and asked does anyone know what this is?
  • Kid: ya, my dad have two.
  • Teacher: two?
  • Kid: a small one for susu and big one to brush moms teeth.

  •  adults sms 140 words
  • n army got married first night realizes wife having periods.
  • He telegram to HQ: red alert on front extend leave.
  • DQ: attack from back and report.

  •  non veg msg 2012
  • A boy comes to class with broken specs.
  • Teacher: what happened?
  • Boy: I was kissing my girlfriend.
  • Teacher: but how did your specs break?
  • Boy: she closed her legs.

  •  sms for boyfriend
  • oy: my age is 20 years.
  • Girl: my age is 20 years also.
  • Boy: so come to my room.
  • Girl: why?
  • Boy: To play 20-20 match.

  •  hot sms in english
  • Difference between power and stamina?
  • Power is when a man can hang a wet towel over his erect penis.
  • Stamina is to keep the penis erect till the towel dries




  • Height of recycling: man giving used condom 2 his son to use as a balloon and after bursting giving to his daughter to use as hair band.

  •  double meaning sms
  • Nurse comes in doctor room.
  • Doctor ask: why is your one boobs out of your shirt?
  • Nurse: these medical students never keep the things at place after use.

  •  hot sms
  • Fate is like getting raped; if you can’t fight it learn to enjoy it. Success is like masturbation, it’s in your own hand. Education is like hiring prostitute, it needs both money and talent.

  •  double meaning jokes
  • Why are western guys more advanced than our guys? Answer: they keep their minds in work and penis in pussy, but our guys keep pussy in mind and penis in hand.

  •  dirty jokes
  • Girl enters a sex shop.
  • Girl: where is the duplicate penis section?
  • Clerk: it’s their mam.
  • Girl: how much for this big red one?
  • Clerk: sorry madam, its fire extinguisher.

  •  romantic sms for boyfriend
  • On first night both man and wife claim virginity.
  • Wife: if this is your first time then how you fucked so well?
  • Man: if this is your 1st time then how you know I fucked so well?

  •  don’t leave me sms
  • 4 stages of love.
  • 1. Hand in hand.
  • 2. Hand in that.
  • 3. That in hand.
  • 4. That in that.
  • Now don’t ask me what is that.

  •  non veg sms
  • Fifa has decided that girls should be goalkeepers for the world cup, because no matter how wide they open, they never lets the balls go in.

  •  hindi adult sms
  • Teacher: write a sentence ending with hand.
  • Boy: my penis in your hand.
  • Teacher slapped and asked what is this?
  • Boy: oh I forget to put space between pen and is.

  •  adult sms 140
  • wo men searching for their lost wife’s.
  • 1st: how does your wife looks?
  • 2nd: 5.9 heights, 36-24-36, fair, blue eyes, sexy, what is yours?
  • 1st: forget mine, let’s search yours.




  • Two kids were lying on bed in same basket.
  • 1st: I am boy and you?
  • 2d: I don’t know.
  • 1st: wait I will see. He went into the blanket and said, you are a girl.
  • 2nd: how did you know?
  • 1st: because my socks are blue and your socks are pink.
  • Moral: improve your thoughts for god sake.

  •  adult jokes
  • Boy: can i touch your software
  • girl: first show me your hardware
  • boy: should i install it in your system
  • girl: cover it with antivirus and then install.

  •  adult sms 140 words
  • Aids awareness slogan:
  • Cover ur stump b4 u pump
  • dont b silly, protect ur jelly..
  • AIDS is no joke
  • wrap b4 u poke
  • dont be fool
  • condomize ur tool…

  •  hindi adult jokes
  • Duty- if done with ur wife..
  • Art- if done with ur love..
  • Education- if done with a virgin..
  • Tution- if done with ur teacher..
  • Job- if done with your boss/secretary..
  • Science- if done with a fertile lady..
  • Business- if done with a prostitute..
  • Social work – if done with ur neighbour
  • Charity- if done with a widow
  • Sacrifice- if done with ur own hand

  •  free adult jokes
  • A policeman was patrolling a local parking spot overlooking a golf course. He drove by a car and saw a couple inside with the dome light on. There was a young man in the driver’s seat reading a computer magazine and a young lady in the back seat knitting. He stopped to investigate. He walked up to the driver’s window and knocked. The young man looked up, cranked the window down, and said, “Yes Officer?”

  • “What are you doing?” the policeman asked. “What does it look like?” answered the young man. “I’m reading this magazine.” Pointing towards the young lady in the back seat, the officer then asked, “And what is she doing?” The young man looked over his shoulder and replied, “What does it look like? She’s knitting.”

  • “And how old are you?” the officer then asked the young man. “I’m nineteen,” he replied. “And how old is she?” asked the officer. The young man looked at his watch and said, “Well, in about twelve minutes she’ll be sixteen.”

  •  free adults jokes
  • Lady: Dr.! How long is it before I can resume my normal Sex Life?
  • Doctor (shocked): You are the first one to ask me that after a tonsil-operation!

  •  adults free sms
  • The Blue Whale ejaculates over 40 gallons of sperm when mating. Only 10 percent enters the female.
  • And you always wondered why the sea tasted salty?

  •  dirtyadultjokes
  • Ek balatkari narak jata hai.
  • Yamraj-Fry him in oil.
  • Aftr 4hrs
  • Yam-Ab tk fry nhi kiya?
  • Dasi- chulha jalane k liye bhi jhuko to ye Gand marna shuru kar diya

  •  dirty jokes hindi 140
  • Sexy police wali ne suhagrat k dusre din pati se 800 Rs jurmana manga, Pati- kis chij ke, patni – 100 Rs over speed 300 Rs wrong side or 400 Rs bina helmet ke

  •  adult joke double meng sms hindi
  • Kya baat he cho0t par 1 bhi baal nhi he? Madarch0d tu 5000 khrch krke ch0dne aya he ya meri cho0t par kangi karne aaya hai.





  • Pregnt Lady chhat pe
  • Tange khol k leti hui thi
  • Santa: ye kya ho rha hy?
  • lady: Dr ne kaha hy k
  • Tazi hawa bache ke sehat k lye achi he.

  •  adult hindi jock
  • 2 Behne Thi
  • Badi Behan K Pati Ka Chota Tha & Choti Behan k Pati Ka Bada Tha
  • Choti Tadap-2 K Mar Gyi & Badi Taras-2 K Mar Gayi

  •  hindisms
  • Ek Admi Muthiya Mar RahaTha
  • Achank Biwi Aa Gayi
  • Biwi:kya ho raha H?
  • Aadmi:BANSURI Baja Raha Tha
  • Biwi: Mera SHANKH Padosi bajayega kya?

  •  adult jokes hindi
  • Santa Ne Suhag Raat Ko
  • Biwi Se Pucha-
  • Kya Tum Virgin Ho?

  • Biwi-Ji,Magar Piche Se!
  • Aur Tum?

  • Santa-Me Bhi,
  • Magar Age Se

  •  sms jokes in hindi 140 words funny
  • Miranda Condm:Zor ka Jhtka Dhire Se Lge
  • MRF Condm:Xtra Rubr Xtra Milage

  • MOOV Condm:Aah se Aaha Tk

  • IODEX Condom:Andr Tk Jae Aram Dilay

  •  jokes in hindi
  • GIRL:Darling,Mujse Shaadi Kab Karoge?
  • BOY:Are Pagli.Do idli Aur Ek Mendu Vada Ke Liye Koi Pura Hotel Kharidta Hai Kya?

  •  non veg hindi jokes
  • Zindagi kya hai Arman Bhosdi ka

  • Aaurat ke Pichhe Pda Insaan Bhosdi ka

  • Plastic ka LUND or Silicon ki CHUT
  • Kya-2 Bna rha hai Japan Bhosdi ka…

  •  joke in hindi language
  • Muddt Se Thi JinKi Lene Ki Aas
  • Deedar-e-Choot Ko Dil Main Dba Dia
  • KisiNe Di Khabr Unk Cudne Ki Rat Ko
  • Itni Lgai Muth K Apna Topa Tk Suja Lia

  •  hindi sms hot
  • Rajni Malika se:i want 2marry u
  • M:i will marry only that guy who has penis of 8 inches
  • R:ok no problem i will cut 4inches for u..

  •  english sms jokes
  • I want to suck you
  • lick you
  • wanna move my tongue all over you
  • wanna feel you in my mouth
  • yep, that’s how you
  • eat an ice cream!





  • Police wala or fauji ek saath train me safar kr rahe thy.

  • Police: Ap chutti pe ja rahe he?

  • Fauji: Han wife ki delivry he.
  • Police: Kitne din baad ghr ja rahe ho?
  • Fauji: 2 saal baad.
  • Police: Phr to hone wala bacha harami hoga
  • Fauji: Mjhe konsa ghr rkhna hai police me bharti kr doon ga…

  •  adult sms collection in hindi
  • A Lady lost here panty in the home
  • She blamd Nukrani in front of her husband

  • Nukrani replied: Sahab G apko to pata hai main nichay kuch nai pehnti.

  •  adult joks hindi
  • ChAndA
  • Mou KhoLo
  • ThorA Or
  • Or
  • ThorA sA Or
  • Bus!
  • __
  • ( “.)
  • < )_, - - .(." ) LL ( >
  • DO THE DEW.

  •  adult jokes sms hindi
  • Nargis 2 doctor:My Hole Is 2 Big
  • DR Looks In Hole Says My Goodness,Goodness,Goodness.
  • Nargis:Y R U Repeting Words?
  • DR:Repeat Nahi kar raha,Awaz Goonj rahi ha ;-

  •  adult jokea hindi
  • Shalwaari-Saanp’
  • “Dunia ka 1 Khatarnak Saanp hy jis ka
  • -Rang White/brown/ black
  • -Aam lambai 4″ to 8″
  • -Jism Narm/Hard
  • -Temperature Garam
  • -Aam tor pr bed Rooms me ladies ki tangon k beech me kaat leta hy
  • -is ka zeher 9 maah tk pait ko suja deta hy
  • -iski Peshawari qism mardon ko b kaat’ti pakri gai hy

  •  adult jokes sms hindi
  • Mehboob Mere
  • Mehboob Mere
  • Teri Masti me
  • Muje Jeene day
  • Boht Doodh
  • ( . ) ( . ) hai
  • ) . ( tere
  • ( ¥ )
  • seenay me
  • Muje Daba-Daba
  • Ke pene de..

  •  hindi sms com
  • For a woman every man is terrorist. 1st he attacks her twin towers: then destroys her pentagon and then puts missile in her bunker+ 2 grenades at the gat.

  •  very funny joke in hindi in 2012
  • Dentist was removing a tooth of a lady:
  • Dentist:
  • “Madam U r holding my balls !”

  • Lady:
  • “I know, its just to remind U that we r not going to hurt each other “

  •  romantic sms in hindi 3
  • BOY:
  • main pyar ki onchai or ishq ki gehrai ko dekhna or chuna chahta hon.
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • GIRL:
  • seedhi trha q nai kehte k undrwear or braizer utaar du !!!

  •  nonveg sms in hindi 140 words
  • Pathan sitting on the Bench with girlfriend

  • Pathan said: Can i kiss u?

  • Girl said:NO my lipstick will remove

  • Pathan:Can i touch ur nipple?

  • Girl:No,my shirt will become wet.

  • Pathan: can i fuck u?
  • Girl:No their are my menses period.

  • Pathan:Lalay ki jan!
  • ab ye mat kehna k motion b lagay howy hain.






  • Aik Sardar ne Sikhni Ka Rape kia, She Said ” Hunn Main Raula
  • Paawangi”
  • Sardar Says” Raula teh Hunn Main paawan ga

  • Utton Sikhni tay Thaloo clean Shave.

  •  funny jokes in hindi 140 words
  • Cycle k mistri ne suhag rat ko apni bivi ko pani waley tub mai litaya.
  • Bivi: Ye kia kar rahe ho?
  • Mistri: Mujhe to pani mai e pata chalta hai k surakh kahan hy!

  •  adult jokes hindi
  • Aorat Lady Doctor se Doctor sahaba muje chabi wala teeka laga dain. Lady Dr: ap k kitne bachay hn. Aorat: MASHALAH mere 11 bachay hn. Lady Dr: Phir to Talla hi lagwa lain.

  •  hindisms
  • Boy 2 Grl: Shadi K Liye Kon C Date Rakhain?
  • Girl: Hichkchate Huay.. 22 DEC
  • Boy: Koi Khas Wja?
  • Girl: Shrmatay Huay.. Suna Hai Saal Ki Sab Se Lmbi Raat Hoti Hai..

  •  desi adult sms
  • Khubsoorat Larki Doctor se:
  • Doctor,
  • main jub cigrette peeti hun to ajeeb becheni si hoti hai, mein pehla kash leti hun to apne shoes utar deti hun, dosre kash mein socks, teesray kash mein shirt utar deti hon or chotay mein.
  • Doctor: Ye lo G0LD LEAF or tafseel say batao.

  •  adults jokes sms in hindi
  • Teacher; Sabse zyada CALCIUM kis DOODH me hota hy?
  • Boy; 18 saal ki larki me.
  • Q k ispe MOO lagao to JISM k un hisson me b jaan aajati hy jin me HADDI nahi hoti.

  •  dirty sms in hindi
  • Doctor to Old Man!
  • Baba ji Aapki Neeche Wali Dono Golian Nikaalni Paraingi..

  • Baba: Nikaal lo Beta.’!
  • Jab Bandooq hi Nahi Chalti tou goliyan kis kaam ki,

  •  hindi adults jokes in hindi
  • Husbnd in susral
  • teling 2 wife:
  • ao sex karen
  • wife: Nahi ye mery
  • baap ka ghar hy
  • sharm ati hy mujy,
  • Husbnd:mery baap
  • ka ghar koi chakla hai
  • jo roz tyar hoti
  • ho..

  •  hot hindi jokes
  • A Rocket & a Plane meet after ages.
  • Plane says:” yaar rocket tu itni tez raftaar se kaise udh jate
  • ho?”
  • Rocket replies “yeh toh wohi jaane jis ke peeche AAG lagi
  • ho….”

  •  joke in hindi language
  • A person was carrying 3 BABIES in the train.
  • The Lady next to him asked,”Are they your BABIES.”
  • The Person said ,”NO, I own a condom factory & these are
  • customers complaints”






  • Wife bought a new transparent Bra, wore in front of her hubby.
  • Hubby: Issme tum bahut sexy lag rahi ho.
  • Wife: Pata hai ! Salesman bhi yehi keh raha tha.

  •  sms jokes in hindi 140 words funny 2011
  • Man: Sex ho jaye?
  • Wife: No.
  • Man: Jewellary le dunga.
  • Wife: No.
  • Man: Car le dunga.
  • Wife: No, No, No.
  • Beta so raha tha, bich me bola, Meri marlo, Cycle la dena.

  •  adult hindi 140 sms
  • Kamra khushboo naal sajai baithe han,
  • bed te navi chaddar bichayee baithe han,
  • Saadi deewangi tan dekho ohna ne raati auna hai
  • te asi duphar de hi condom charai baithe han

  •  adult hindi jock
  • Peter -: Boss! Aaap ko kaun si 3 cheeze sabse jahyahda pasand hai?
  • Ajeet -: Ek Mona,
  • Doosra Sona,
  • aur Tisra,
  • Mona ke saath Sona.

  •  adult jokes in hindi jan 2012
  • Jab gabbar paida hua tab uski maa ne use 2 thappad lagaye,
  • es par father bole kya hua?,
  • kambakht paida hote hi pooch raha tha kitne admi the

  •  adults hindi joke
  • Beti: Maa Gaon mein Fauji aaye hain
  • Maa: andar aaja inki niyat bahut kharab hoti hai
  • Beti: Maa fauji Pakistani hain
  • Maa: to bakri ko bhi andar le aa.

  •  adults sms jokes hindi 140 words
  • Sardar sent SMS to his BOSS:
  • “Me sick, no work”
  • Boss SMS back:
  • “When I am sick I kiss my wife try it”
  • 2 hours later sardar sms 2 boss:
  • “Me ok, ur wife very sweet”

  •  adult sms in hindi 140 character
  • 2 men went 2 a callgirl.
  • 1st went in and came out n said
  • “Na my wife is better.”
  • 2nd went in and came out n said
  • “U R right ur wife is much better.”

  •  adults hindi jokes
  • 3 FEELINGS
  • what is the diference b/w stress,tension & panic?
  • Stress is when wife is pregnant,
  • tension is when girlfriend is pregnant &
  • panic is when both r pregnant

  •  adults jokes sms in hindi
  • us ne kaha or dabao,
  • main dabaya,
  • us ne kaha or dabao,
  • main ne or dabaya,
  • us ne kaha baniyan nikal do phir dabao,
  • main ne phir dabaya,
  • us ne kaha pent bhi nikal do phir dabao,
  • main ne phir dabaya . . .
  • dekha ho gya na suit case band




  • 2 men were up bcoz their wifes were learning cars
  • 1st:mere biwi raat ko lund pakar kar gear badalti hay
  • 2nd:mere biwi tang utha ke k kahti hay5 litre dal day

  •  dirty sms in hindi
  • teri sula ke lu?
  • ya bitha ke lu?
  • ya tujhe karu khada
  • ya fir teri juka-jukake lu?
  • ab tu hi bata
  • ki mein teri…
  • photo kaise lu

  •  desi adult sms
  • Sardarni: kal raat 3 chor aaye aur mera rape karke chale
  • gaye.
  • Sardar: tumne unhe roka nahi?
  • Sardarni: bahot roka par bole ab aur taakat
  • nahi hai, kal aayenge

  •  awesome adult jokes 2
  • Aaj Kal Ki Larkian Ye Soch Kar

  • Apne Boy Friend K Sath So Jati Hain
  • Galib

  • Daag To Chala Jaye Ga Ye Waqat Phir Nahi Aaye Ga…!!

  •  archive of love text messages
  • Suhagrat

  • 12am Kiss
  • .
  • 1am Kapre uttaro
  • .
  • 2am Bra kholo
  • .
  • 3am Shalwar uttaro
  • .
  • 4am
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • Ehtalam ho gya
  • .
  • .
  • Ab uuth jao ur naha lo
  • SAPNA pura hova

  •  alone quotes in hindi
  • LUND KI MAHIMA
  • LUND JB PRACHAND HO
  • CHUT KHAND KHAND HO
  • LUND TUM DATE RAHO
  • CHUT PAR CHADE CHALOSAMNE DARAR HO
  • JHAT KA PAHAD HO
  • LUND TUM RUKO NAHI
  • LUND TUM JUKO NAHI

  •  adults sms
  • Husband: Jaan Dedo Boht Mood Horaha Hy

  • Wife: Nai Aaj Nai

  • Husband: Aajao Yar

  • Wife: Nai Na

  • Child: Papa Muth Maar K So Jao,

  • Shor Nai Karo Subha School Jana Hai.

  •  adults jokes in hindi sms
  • Pathan Ka Promotion Inspector Se DSP hogaya,
  • Ghar A kar Wife Ko aise Andaz Se Bataya, k Wife Behosh ho Gai.

  • ?

  • ?
  • BOLA:
  • Aaj Se Tu DSP k sath Soe gi….;-)

  •  adultmsg 2
  • Beta:
  • Papa Ye Bollywood Or Hollywood Bole To Kya?

  • Baap:
  • Bete Jo Ladki Ball Se Khelne De
  • Wo BOLLYWOOD

  • Aur Jo Holl Se Khelne De
  • Wo Hollywood

  •  adulthindi jokes
  • 2 logon ka aap kuch nai bigaar saktay

  • 1. Jo moo pr jhoot bolay. . .

  • 2. Jo dariya k paar khara hokar aapko lun dikhaye .






  • Aik Khoobsurat Soch…

  • Hamesha Samjhota Karna Seekho,

  • Kyu Ke Thora Sa Jhuk Janay Se

  • Paisay Ziada Miltay Hein..

  • Aur Agar Ziada Jhuko,

  • To Paisy Aur ziada.

  •  adult sms picture messages
  • n bus lady-Bhaisab thoda
  • piche hoke khade hoyiye
  • man-Bhenji Piche se dhakka aa raha hai
  • Lady-bhosdike 3 bacho kimaa hu Dhakke OR Ghisne me Fark samjhti hu

  •  adult sms picture
  • Boy:
  • You Are Sunshine Of My Life,
  • Without You Life Is Cloudy,
  • You Are In My Heart
  • Like Rainy Water For Barren Land

  •  adult sms jokes
  • A short thing
  • its get longer as u hold it
  • & pass between woman’s breast
  • & enters into a small hole
  • What is it?
  • Ans. cars seat belt…u dirty mind

  •  adult sms in 140
  • Q: Who is senior,
  • PENIS or VAGINA.

  • A:VAGINA
  • b’cos PENIS always stands up when he sees a VAGINA..So respect the seniors!

  •  adult sms collection
  • Boy1:Meet my wife Tina
  • Boy2.Oh! I know her
  • Boy1:How?
  • Boy2:v were caught sleeping together
  • Boy1:What the hell?
  • Boy2.during lecture in maths class

  • Think +ve:

  •  adult sms collection 140 character
  • little boy : mummy is god a girl or a boy?
  • mummy: why god is both girl and boy
  • little boy: mummy is god black or white?
  • mummy: why god is both black and white
  • little boy: mummy is god gay or strait?
  • mummy: why god is both gay and strait
  • little boy: mummy is god Michael Jackson?

  •  adult jokes 140
  • Kid: Dady k room se prayer ki awazein aa rhi theen
  • Mom: Prayer krna to achi bat hai
  • Kid: dady to chup thay unki secrtry chila rhi thee
  • “OH GOD, OH GOD”

  •  adult joke hindi
  • boy: main tere waste bangles lake aaya haan
  • Girl: tu hi puwade hun
  • Boy: je menu tera response pata hunda ta main panti lake aunda

  •  adult joke hindi
  • boy: main tere waste bangles lake aaya haan
  • Girl: tu hi puwade hun
  • Boy: je menu tera response pata hunda ta main panti lake aunda








  • I was nervous at first,
  • it was big & long it went straight up,
  • i had 2 try it,
  • i eased myself onto it i liked it.
  • I went up & down on it ….

  • NOW I LOVE ELEVATORS!!!!!!!!!

  •  adult hindi sms 140 words
  • 3 log marne k bad Jannat k darwaze par pahuche
  • 1st bola – me Molvi hu mene zindagi bhar ibadat ki mujhe andar ane do
  • Awaz ayi – next
  • 2nd – me doctor Hu. maine zindagi bhar logo ki help ki mujhe andar ane do
  • Awaz ayi – next
  • 3rd – mein shaadi shudha hun
  • Awaz ayi – Bas kar, rulayega kya, chal andar aja.

  •  adult funny jokes in hindi
  • Pappu Santa c kothe ki sedhiyo par mil gya
  • pappu: Papa aap yaha kya kar rahe ho?
  • Santa: yaar ab 200-300 Rs k peche tere mummy k nakhre nhi sahe jate

  •  adult dirty sms
  • Come here, take off your pants and knickers, get on top of me, enjoy until u get satisfied.

  • loving urs…..toilet!

  •  2012 sweet smile sms messages
  • Always start your day with a lot of… S E X

  • S – SMILE

  • E – ENERGY

  • X – XCITEMENT

  • so make S E X a daily habit, and you’ll always B SUCSEXFUL! in LIFE.

  •  140words adult jokes 2
  • A Good friend is like a Good bra… hard to find, comfortable, supportive, prevents you from falling, holds you tight and is always close to your heart!

  •  140 charcter adult sms
  • how is sex related to math?

  • add two person and a bed

  • subtract cloths

  • divide the legs

  • multiply the strokes

  • and the result is satisfucktion..haha!!!

  •  140 character adults sms
  • Chemistry Ki class mein teacher ne aik larki se pocha:

  • What is “Nitrate” ?

  • Larki sharma k boli:

  • Sir,
  • Rs.1500/=

  •  sms romentic
  • Always remember:

  • When SHE cancels a date, it is because..
  • “SHE HAS TO”

  • But

  • When HE cancels a date, it is because..
  • “HE HAS TWO” 😉

  •  romantic msg
  • There are 4 ways to enjoy love,

  • 1. Hand in Hand.
  • 2. That in hand.
  • 3. Hand in that.
  • 4. That in that.

  • Now dont ask me what is that.. 





  • 4 MEN IN A PRISON CELL,
  • A RAPIST
  • A MURDERER
  • A PSYCO
  • &GAY.
  • RAPIST SAYS, “IF THERE WAS A CAT HERE I’D FUCK IT TILL IT DIE”

  • THE MURDERER SAYS “ONCE YOUR DONE WITH IT, I’D TORTURE IT TO DEATH”

  • THE PSYCO “OH YEAH & ONCE IT’S DEAD I’D FUCK IT TILL I DIE”

  • THE GAY IN THE CORNER VERY SOFTLY SAYS..

  • “MEOOWN”

  •  romantic hot sms
  • Girls r crazy about 4 things..

  • 1) shopping
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • 2) cell phone
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • 3) chocolates
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • 4)_____ (look down…)

  •  adult non veg sms
  • There are 2 types of hooks

  • 1st is cricket hook
  • &
  • 2nd is brazer hook

  • 1st is used to send ball outside the boundry
  • &
  • 2nd is to control balls inside the boundry.x!;)

  •  english adult jokes
  • All girls are beautiful, after the
  • lights are switched off.
  • – Shakespeare.

  • All boys are innocent before the
  • lights are off.
  • – Shakespeare’s wife…

  • Sex is a sensation. It’s about a man’s temptation, putting his location in a

  • woman’s destination. Do you understand the explanation or do you need a

  • demonstration?;)

  •  english friendship sms
  • A guy walks up to a girl and says: Wanna play *Magic*? She says: What’s that? He says: We go to my place, have sex and then you disappear!!

  •  desi adult sms
  • AM I CUTE? TEST
  • call, if i m cute
  • miss call, if i m gorgeous
  • Text back if i m pretty
  • Text a joke if i m charming
  • Just ignore if u r jealous

  •  adult sms download
  • Sardar sent SMS to his BOSS:
  • “Me sick, no work”
  • Boss SMS back:
  • “When I am sick I kiss my wife try it”
  • 2 hours later sardar sms 2 boss:
  • “Me ok, ur wife very sweet”

  •  adults jokes sms
  • A woman married a one legged man.

  • She wrote to her mother:

  • “My husband only has ONE FOOT”.

  • Her Motherreplied:

  • “You are lucky,your papa has ONLY 5 INCHES”

  •  dirty sms
  • A Peach is Peach, A Plum is Plum
  • A Kiss isn’t a Kiss without some tongue
  • So Open your mouth, Close your eyes
  • And Give your tongue some exercise




  • Husband: Darling, G karta Hai tumhri zulfon ME kho jau, aankhon Mei bas jau, tumhri baaho ME jhul jau. Wife: Devanand hi Rahoge ya kabhi Imran Hashmi bhi Banoge

  •  adult short jokes
  • Father went 2 school for getting report of his son. Father: Madam kab dengi aap. Teacher: Periods khatam hone ke bad.

  •  june sms in english
  • May times, ppl say that d women species talk too much

  • but dere’s no problem, bcoz d male ear is selective

  • Example:

  • wen d women say:
  • this house is a mess, honey
  • U n I need 2 clean this
  • Ur stuff is all on d floor
  • U will b without clothes
  • If u don’t wash them NOW

  • The male ear only understand:

  • bla bla bla, honey
  • bla bla bla, U n I
  • bla bla bla, on the floor
  • bla bla bla, without clothes
  • bla bla bla, NOW!!

  •  hindi hot sms
  • Naughty boy draws a penis on the black board.
  • Lady teacher rubs it off.
  • Next day he draws a bigger one & writes:
  • ‘jitna ragdogi utna bada hoga…’

  •  english sms love messages
  • Tchr : pasive me badlo!
  • “bache jab sunsan jagao par jate he to hadso ko janam de hain”
  • stdnt : “sunsan jagao par huye haadse bacho ko janam dete hain”

  •  double meaning joke adult
  • Tchr : pasive me badlo!
  • “bache jab sunsan jagao par jate he to hadso ko janam de hain”
  • stdnt : “sunsan jagao par huye haadse bacho ko janam dete hain”

  •  don’t leave me alone sms
  • A punjabi bra ad:
  • Har kudi di pehli pasand “soniya bra”
  • hun 6 size wich
  • 1.small
  • 2.medium
  • 3.large
  • 4.oye hoye!
  • 5.hai o rabba!
  • 6.oh tei maa dee!

  •  awesome jokes for adults
  • Pathan was teaching his kid
  • how 2 masturbate..
  • Kid says – “this is gr8 fun dad!”
  • Pathan said – yes, n wen u get 13
  • u can use ur own cock

  •  adult msg in 140 words
  • Fair & lovely ke ad me face dikhaya
  • Ponds ke ad me hath dikhaya
  • Pentene ke ad me baal dikhaye
  • Phir whisper ke ad mein cheating kyun?

  •  sms hindi adults 140 words
  • A couple wanted katna(Circumcision)of their son, but they dont know proper word to print, so they printed the wording :THE CUTTING CEREMONY OF FUCKING INSTRUMENTS




  • Sex ke baad aurat aadmi se boli : “tumari bansuri bahut he choti hai”, Aadmi ne bola “mujhe thodi pata tha ke, town-hall mein bajani hai”

  •  non veg msg 2012
  • Suhagrat ko pati ne patni se pucha “kya mehsus kar rahi ho ?”
  • Patni = aaj tak top_up me kam chalate the aaj se life time karwa liya.

  •  love sms text messages
  • Husband:- ne sasural me biwi se : chalo sex karte hain
  • Biwi : nahi ye mere baap ka ghar hai
  • Husband :- tho kya mere baap ka ghar red light area hai jo to roz
  • Taiyar ho jati hai.

  •  hindi adults sms
  • Ek bar girls hostel me ladkiya cycle chalate hue bahut shor macha rahi thi,Tabhi WARDEN ayi aur boli “shor kam machao nahi to cycle ki seat wapis lagwa Dungi.

  •  hindi adult sms 140 words
  • Lady in bus: aapka kuchh touch ho raha hai.
  • Man: Oh, wo meri salary hai pocket mein.
  • Lady: OYE! TERI SALARY 5 MINUTES MEIN 3 GUNA BADH GAYEE?!?

  •  double meaning hindi sms
  • Bakri Ki Jan Talwar Ke Niche,
  • Ladki Ki Jan Salwar Ke Niche,
  • Jo Chali Jaye Mat Bhago Uske Piche,
  • Pyar Karo Usi Se Jo Salwar Khole Khusi Se!
  • Best Of Luck.

  •  don’t leave me sms
  • Little Boy: Dad How Was I Born? Dad: Well, Son Ur Mom & I Got Together at “Yahoo”. We Set up A Date Via E-Mail & Met In Cyber Cafe Ur Mom Agreed To “Download….. Data” From My “Pen Drive”. Just When I Was About to “Transfer”, We Realised That Non Of Us Had “Installed” A “Firewall” It Was Too Late To hit “Delete….. Nine Months Later A “Pop-up Window” Appeared Saying”You Have Got A Male” ….

  •  adults jokes in hindi
  • Boy Ladki k Saamne Pant utarkar bola-
  • kya tumhare paas aisa hai?
  • Girl panti utarkar boli-
  • jinke paas aisi hoti hai unke paas inki koi kami nahi hoti.

  •  adults hindi sms
  • Ek kunwari ladki ki petme baccha aa gaya..
  • Uski baap : ye kiska hain?
  • Ladki : papa miss call to sab hi marta tha..
  • pata nahi kiska receive ho gaya..!

  •  adult hindi joke
  • LadyTeacher: write a sentence ending with hand.
  • Banta: My penis in ur hand. Teacher slapped Banta.
  • Santa: Sorry mam, I 4got 2 put space betwn PEN IS.







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