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New latest Wife Husband SMS


  • Biwi: Mene apky birthday k liye bht achha suit khareeda ha,

  • Shohar: Bht bht shukriya ha, Dikhao to,

  • Biwi: rukye me@ pehn kr aai.

  • =====================================

  • Mardon me sb se shareef wo ha jinho ne apni biwiyon ko,

  • Bhii fa@cebook pr add kia hua ha.

  • =====================================

  • Wife: Tum kitny moty ho gye ho,

  • Husband: tum bhi to kitni moti hogai ho,

  • Wife: to @me to maa bnny wali hun,

  • Husband: to me bhi to baap bnny wala hun.

  • =====================================
  • Marriage is a relationship in which a person is always right,

  • And the other is husband.

  • =====================================

  • Husband: ME 10 minute me ghr aa rha hun, khana ready rkho.

  • Wife: awaz clear nhi aa ri , smjh me nhi aa rha ha.

  • Husband: chlo me ata hun to bahr chlty hn, tyaar ho jao.

  • Wife: Oh wow. ok me abhi tyar hoti hun,

  • Husband: mtlb k ab awaz aa rhi ha. khana bnao aa rha hun.

  • =====================================
  • Biwi: kahan ho kya kr rhy ho?

  • Husband: Office hun bht masroof hun, tum kya kr rhi ho?

  • Biwi: KFC me tumhary peechhy bchon k sath bethi hun,

  • Bchy poochh rhy hn papa k sath konsi phupho bethi ha.

  • =====================================
  • Newtons latest law,

  • For every idiot there is an equal and opposite idiot.

  • They are called Husband and Wife.

  • =====================================
  • Wife called her husband,

  • Honey, where are u,

  • Husband: i am at the bank.

  • Wife: Dear please, I need 1000 to activate my iphone,

  • 5000 to do my hair and 10000 to buy a dress.

  • Husband: Sorry i meant i am at the Bank of River,

  • Do you need a fish to cook?

  • =====================================

  • Bst Husband& Wife Jokes
  • patni 1/2 hour say phone pay kisi se baat kar rahi ti,ushne call cut kar diya..
  • pati-aaj tmnay bahut jaldi call cut kar dia..

  • patni-wrong no tha ishliaye

  • =====================================

  • Bst Husband & Wife Jokes
  • admi shadi kiyon karta hy?
  • marne kay baad woh sawarg mein jaye tau acha feel karay ,or nark ma jaye tau apne ghar jesa feel karay..

  • =====================================


  • Husband and Wife Jokes
  • pati- hipnotis kaya hota hy?
  • patni-kisiko apnay control mai kar kay apne marzi ka kaam karwana.
  • pati-chal jhooti!!!! usay tau shaadi kehtay hain..

  • =====================================
  • Poem of wife- husband hamara aesa ho,
  • Wallet mein jiskay bahut pesa ho,
  • Lambi jis ki height ho,
  • Gussay ka wo lite ho,
  • jab saas say mri fight ho to
  • kahay janu tum he right ho

  • =====================================
  • ‚‚ Husband wife jokes Hindi ‚‚

  • patni- jaanu bag pack kar lo mainay lotry mai 10 crore jeeta hy
  • pati -darling bag main winter ka kapday dalu ya summer kay?
  • patni- jo bhi dalna hy dalo,or dafa ho jao yahan say

  • =====================================

  • Husband Wife Joks in Hindi ‚ ::

  • patni-mein driver ki naukri say nikal rahi hoon kiyuki ma aaj dusari bar marte marte bachi hoon…
  • .
  • pati-plz darling,usay ek moka or de do na…..plzzzzzZ
  • =====================================

  • Wife:kal raat tum mujhay neend
  • mai gaalia kiyon day rahay thay?
  • Husband: tumhay ghalat fehmi hui hai..
  • Wife: kesi ghalat fehmi?
  • Husband: yehi kay ma neend mein tha

  • =====================================
  • Friends r like “Priya Gold Biscuit” Haq Say maango
  • Girl Frnds r like Pepsi Yeh Dil Mangay More
  • Wife iz like a medicine Bs aik he kaafi hy

  • =====================================

  • Wife:Suna hai kay jannat mein husband
  • kay saath Wife ko nai rehnay detay

  • HUSBAND! sahi suna hai,
  • Wife: aisa kiyon?

  • Husband: Aray pagli isi liaye tau
  • usay jannat kehtay hy..

  • =====================================

  • Husband Or wife mein larai ho gai
  • husband ghar say chala gya.
  • raat ko phir kark pucha khanay mein kaya hy?
  • Wife:zehar
  • Husband: mein der se aaunga,tm kha ker so jana..

  • =====================================

  • Husband Or Wife Hotl
  • ma gaye tabhi aik Lady nay Hello kiya,
  • Wife nay pucha,Kon Thi Wo?

  • Husband:-Tum dimagh kharab mat kero,
  • ma pehle he pareshan hoon kay woh b Yehi puchay ge.

  • =====================================
  • Husband and wife r like livr & kidney.
  • Husband iz liver and wife iz kidney.
  • If liver fails, kidney fails.
  • If kidney fails, livr manags wid othr kidney.

  • =====================================

  • Pehlay woh mri girlfriend thi,
  • Ma bolta tha wo snti thi,

  • Phir woh meri mangetar bani,
  • Woh bolti thi ma snta tha

  • Jb say woh meri BIWI bni,
  • Hum dono boltay hain
  • or
  • Pora muhalla sutna hai
  • =====================================

  • Husband:
  • Bhagwaan nay tumhen 2 aakhen de hy
  • chawal say pathar nahi nikaal skti?
  • WIFE: Bhagwaan nay tumhen 32 daant diaye hyn
  • 2-4 pathar nahi chaba saktay?

  • =====================================

  • Women r like police they can have all d evidnce in d world but they still want a confesion

  • =====================================

  • Her ADMI ke zindgi mein three Dolls aati hyn…

  • Aik is ke beti, Baby Doll.

  • Dosri is ke girlfrnd Barbie Doll.

  • Tesri is ke Biwi “PANADOL” wo bhi EXTRA:-D

  • =====================================

  • Aik award un biviyon kay liaye b jo

  • three hundred words per minuts bolnay kay baad

  • kehtay hain kay mera munh mat khulvao

  • =====================================

  • Newtons 4th Law:

  • A body at rest will continu

  • 2 b at rest until d wife

  • notics & finds some work 4 him

  • =====================================
  • Femals nevr listen proprly

  • Wife: oho! I lost my keys again

  • Husband: it is in ur jeans

  • Wife: Don’t drag my famly into ths

  • =====================================

  • A Sardar & his wife filled an application 4 divorce.

  • Judge: How will u divide?
  • u have three children.

  • Sardar: OK! We will apply on next year.

  • =====================================

  • Husband: Tum kon ho?

  • Biwi: Pagal hogaye kya apni Biwi ko bhol gaye ho?

  • HUSBAND: Nasha har ghum bhola deta hy…….
  • =====================================

  • Evolution of Man:

  • Without Marriage “Spider Man”

  • On the Marriage Day “Super Man”

  • After the Marriage “Gentle Man”

  • If wife is very beautiful then rest of the life
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • “Watch Man”




  • Wife: I am the book of ur life.

  • Husband: Yes, exactly!

  • u r right. If u were a calendar of my life, then once a year I will change it.

  • =====================================

  • Wife going 2 Spain.
  • What should I bring 4 u?

  • Husband: A Spanish girl.

  • Wife leaves quietly.
  • On her return,
  • Husband asks:
  • Where is my gift?

  • Wife: Wait 4 nine months.

  • =====================================

  • Wife : I am not feeling good.

  • Husband : It is too bad, i was thinking 2 go 4  shopping.

  • Wife : I was joking na.

  •  

  • Husband: Yeh!!!! me 2.! chal roti bana k la.

  • C=====================================
  • Love Marrige:
  • Raat kay Waqt Husband: Paani Pilao.
  • Wife Paani Lenay Gai, Husband Ko Neend Aa gai, Wife Saari Raat Paani Ka GilaSs Pakray Khari Rai, Subha husband Ki Aankh Khuli Tau Dekh Ker Bohat Khush Hova or Bola!

  • Maango Kia Mangti Ho?

  • .

  • .

  • .
  • Wife: Talaaq.:-P

  • =====================================

  • Three dreams of a man:- To be as handsome..
  • .
  • as his mother thinks…
  • .
  • To be as rich as his child believes…
  • .
  • To have as many women ..
  • .
  • as his wife suspects …!! 😀

  • =====================================

  • Only true friends …
  • .
  • stand by you ..
  • .
  • during bad times…
  • .
  • .
  • So I promise I’ll…
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • attend ur wedding..!!! 😀

  • =====================================

  • There are 3 Dolls ..
  • .
  • in a man’s life:-
  • .
  • .
  • 1. His Daughter – Barbie Doll
  • .
  • .
  • 2. His Girlfriend – Baby Doll
  • .
  • .
  • 3. His Wife – Panadol 😛 😀

  • =====================================

  • Dear Sir,
  • .

  • .

  • .
  • My wife is ill…

  • .
  • As there is no other Husband..

  • .
  • in the family to look after her..

  • .

  • .

  • .
  • Kindly grant me leave for 1 day.

  • I shall B thankful 😀

  • =====================================
  • A couple went 2 an Art Gallery.
  • There was a picture of a girl covered only by
  • leaves..
  • Typical Husband was staring at the picture.
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • Wife: Ghar abhi chaloge, ya hawa aane tak rukogey? 😛 😀 hahahahahahahaha

  • =====================================

  • Wife: “I look fat. Can u give me a compliment?”

  • .

  • .

  • .

  • .

  • .
  • Husband: “u have perfect eyesight.”





  • Always love your husband….

  • .

  • .

  • .

  • .

  • .

  • Love him…

  • .

  • Because ..

  • .

  • you don’t have a choice ..

  • .

  • and..

  • .

  • killing is a legal offence. 😀 😀

  •  

  •  

  • =====================================

  • Always love your husband….

  • .

  • .

  • .

  • .

  • .

  •  

  • Love him if he forgets..

  • .

  • to give you a gift on your birthday..

  • .

  • because ..

  • .

  • he is saving money for your future. 😀 😀

  • =====================================

  • Always love your husband….

  • .

  • .
  •  

  • Love him if he snores at night ..

  • .

  • and disturbs your sleep..

  • .

  • because he is trying to prove..

  • .

  • that he is the most relaxed person ..

  • .

  • after being married to you. 😀 😀

  • =====================================
  • Always love your husband….

  • .

  • .

  • .

  • .

  • .

  •  

  • Love him if he criticizes your cooking..

  • .

  • because..

  • .

  • he is still improving his taste.. 😀

  • =====================================

  • Always love your husband….

  • .

  • .

  • .

  • .

  • .

  •  

  • Love him if he looks..

  • .

  • at all the beautiful females..

  • .

  • because …

  • .

  • he is just checking that u are still the best ?? 😀 😀

  • =====================================

  • Always love your husband….

  • .

  • .

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  •  

  • Love your husband when he orders u..

  • .

  • to make tea or coffee..

  • .

  • because he wants to feel fresh to..

  • .

  • listen your nonstop talks…!!

  • =====================================

  • Wife: “How would u describe me??”

  • .

  • Husband: “ABCDEFGHIJK.”

  • .
  • Wife: “What does that mean?”

  • .
  • Husband: “Adorable, beautiful, cute, delightful, elegant, fashionable, gorgeous, and hot.”

  • .

  •  

  • Wife: “Aw, thank u, but wat about IJK?”

  • .
  • Husband: “I’m just kidding!”

  • =====================================

  • Husband wife watching a Cricket match 2gether..

  • After 2 minutes:

  • Wife: Is this Bret Lee ????

  • Husband: No, this is Chris Gayle, Bret Lee is a bowler. :)

  • Wife: Okay, oh look, another wicket.

  • Husband: No, this is just a replay of the last 1.

  • Wife: Hmm, looks like South Africa is going 2 win this 1.

  • Husband: Its Austraila V/s west Indies

  • Wife: How many runs they need 2 win now ??

  • Husband: 75 runs in 31 balls

  • Wife: Ehnn! Thats easy, just 2 runs in 1 ball

  • Husband: %%%*Turns off the TV*%%%

  • Wife: Turns it on again & starts watching Daily serial..

  • Husband: Who is she ????
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • Wife: don’t disturb me… 😀 😛 lolx hahahahahahh

  • =====================================
  • Secret formula 4 married couples:

  • %%%”Love 1 Another”%%%

  • & if it doesn’t work, bring the last word in the middle! 😛 😀 😀
  • =====================================

  • BIWI: If I Dismiss The Cook
  • And Make Food Myself 4 A Month,
  • What Will u Pay Me..?

  • Husband: I Won’t Have 2 Pay u,
  • u’ll Get My Entire Insurance Amount.

  • =====================================

  • Badranga Wife:
  • ApneY Husbnd SeY..

  • Khirki KY Parde Lagwa Do,
  • Naya Parosi MujeY DekhneY Ki Koshish Krta HEy

  • Husband:
  • 1 Bar Dekh LeneY Do,
  • Phr
  • Wo Khud PardeY Lagwa Lega. 😛 😀 hahahahahah lolx

  • =====================================

  • Ek admi ka hoont jala huWa tha…

  • Kisi ne pocha keseY jala???

  • Admi bola:
  • wife maikay ja rahi thi.
  • usko chorrneY station gEya tha khushi
  • main train ka Engine chOOm liyA 😛 😀 LOLX

  • =====================================
  • Do you know Difference B/w Mother & Wife ???

  • – One Woman Brings U into this world crying…
  • &
  • the other ensures U Continue 2 do so. 😛 😀 lolx
  • =====================================

  • Husband: Janu can u be the moon of my Life???
  • Wife: Aw Yeah darling..so sweet ..!
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • Husband: Hmmm great! then….
  • Stay 9,955,887.6 kms away from Me 😛 😀

  • wife: fitty mou  :@ :/

  • hahahhahahahhahah

  • =====================================

  • beautiful lines:

  • “When a husband & wife look at..

  • each other wid love..

  • ALLAH Look at them wid mercy..!! “

  • =====================================

  • After a Terrible Fight!!

  • Wife:I want 2 hear a last word 4rm ur mouth & after that I’ll permanently go 2 my Mother’s house…

  • Husband : “TAAXIIII!” 😛 😀 hahahahaha

  • =====================================
  • Husband: Meri Biwi Gum ho Gaye Hai! :( :'(

  • Post Master: Andhay ye post office hai

  • Police Station jao….

  • Husband: Maaf Kejeayeee Ga Khushi

  • may Saamjh nahi a Rha Kidhir jaAon?!! 😛 😀

  • hahahahaha

  • =====================================

  • What Ix The Differenxe Between Mother & Wife ?
  • A – One Woman Bringx U Into ThIx World Crying
  • &
  • The Other Ensurex U Continue To Do So.

  • =====================================

  • HusbNd:U Will Never Suxxeed
  • In Making That Dog Obey U!
  • Wife:Nonsenxe It’s Only A Matter Of Patienxe
  • I Had A Lot Of Trouble With U At 1st.

  • =====================================

  • Wife: Yesterday-Night I Saw A Dream
  • That U Were Sending Me
  • Jewelery Nd Clothex
  • HusbaNd: Yeah, I Saw
  • Ur Dad Paying The Bill.


  • =====================================

  • Wife:”Meray Iradaay Baraay Naaik Hein
  • Aap 100 Main
  • Say Aik Hain

  • HusbNd: “Dimagh Kay Hm Be Don Hein
  • Pehle Yeah Bata Baqi K 99 Kon Hain.?

  • =====================================

  • HusbNd: Dear Tmhari Gardaan Paar Ajeeb

  • Si Cheeez Hay JIxe Dekh Kar Khauf Aataa Hai
  • Wife:Woh Kiya?

  •  

  • HusbNd:
  • Tmhara ‘Moun’.

  • =====================================

  • HusbaNd Biwi Se Phone Par:

  • “Keya Pakaya Hai Ajj Khanay Main?”

  • Biwi (Ghussaay Say):
  • “Zeherr”

  • HusbNd:
  • Kha Kar Soo Jana, Main Dair Say Aowga.

  • =====================================

  • A Successful Marriage Ix Based
  • On Give & Take:

  • Whr HusbaNd Givex Money
  • Giftx, Dressex N Wife Takex It

  • &

  • Where Wife Givex Advicex
  • Lecturex
  • Tensionx & HusbNd Takes It.

  • =====================================

  • HusbaNd
  • Phone Pe Keya Pakaya Hai Ajj
  • Wife
  • Zeheer
  • HusbaNd
  • Khaa Kay Soo Jao Me Ahaj Late Aon Gah.

  • =====================================

  • Wife:Kal Raat Tm Neend Main Mujhe Gaaliya De Rahe The
  • HusbNd:Tmhay Galaat Fehmi Huwi Hai.
  • Wife: KaIxi Galat Fehmi? HusbNd: Yeahi K Mein Soya Huwa Tha.

  • =====================================

  • HusbNd Was Seriouxly Ill
  • Doc To Wife : Give Him Healthy Breakfaxt
  • Be Pleaxant & In Gud Mood
  • Don’t DIxcuss Ur Problemx
  • No Tv Serial
  • Dont DemNd New Clothex
  • & Gold Jewelx
  • Do ThIx 4r 1 Yr & He Will Be Ok
  • On The Way Home
  • HusbaNd : What Did The Doc Say ?
  • Wife : No Chanxe 4r U To Survive.

  • =====================================

  • An Angry Wife To Her HusbNd 0n Phone:
  • “Where D Hell R U?”
  • HusbNd: Darling U Remember
  • That Jewelery Shop Whr U Saw
  • The Diamond Necklaxe
  • N Totally Fell In Love With It N I Didn’t Have Money
  • That Time N I Said “Baby It’ll Be Urx 1 Day
  • Wife, With A Smile & Blushing:
  • Yeah I Remember That My Love
  • HusbNd: I M In The Pub Juxt Nex8 To That Shop.

  • =====================================

  • An Airline Introduced
  • A Special Package 4r Businexx Men
  • Buy Ur Ticket Get Ur Wife’s Ticket
  • Free After Grea8 Succexx
  • The Company Sent Letterx
  • To All The Wives Asking
  • How Was The Trip
  • All Of Them Gave A Same Reply
  • “Which Trip ?”.

  • =====================================

  • Bivi Ghusse Mein: “Mera Jeenaa Haram Ho

  • Gaya Hai. Main Yeah Ghar Chorh Kay Jaa Rahe Houn”

  • HusbNd: Jan Choro! Khuda K Waste.

  • Biwi Wapas Atay Hoye: Ek To Apki Yeah Adaat Buhut Buri Hai
  • Hamexha Jan Keh K Aur Khuda Ka Waxta Day Kay Ruuk Lete Hain.

  • =====================================


  • Biwi: Mujhe Samaj Nahi Ata Paisay Kahan Rakhoun

  • Jahaan Chupati Houn Hamara Betaa Chura Letaa Hai.

  • HusbNd: Uski Books Main Chupa Doun

  • Kameena Kabhi Haath Nahi Lagataa.

  • =====================================
  • A Ung Couple Were Having
  • Their 1st Fight Nd It Was A Big One

  • After A While, The HusbNd Said:
  • “When We Got Married
  • U Promised To Love, Honor N Obey
  • Hix Bride Replied:

  • “I Know But I Didn’t Want 2 Start An Argument
  • In Front Of All Thoxe People At The Wedding”

  • =====================================

  • 1 Admi Doston Ki Mehfil Se Late Night Ghar Gaya

  • Doston Ne Pucha K Wife Ne Kuch Kaha To Nahi?

  • Admi Bola: Nahi Kuch Khas Nahi Bus Ye 2 Dant
  • Toh Mein Wese Bhi Nikalwane Wala Tha.

  • =====================================

  • Biwi: Q Na Hm Apni Shadi Ki Salgirah Per

  • Dawaat Kay Lye Bakraa Zibaa KaRien?

  • Shohar: Ghalti Toh Mainay Ne Ki Hai To Sazaa Uss Gharib Koh Q Dein.

  • =====================================

  • HusbNd: Main Tmhari Rooz Rooz Ki Farmaishoon
  • Say Tanag Aa Gaya Houn
  • ix Liye Khud Khushi Karne Jaa Raha Hoon

  • Wife: Acha Aik White Saari To Dila Dain Iddat Kay Dino Main Kya Pehnungi.

  • =====================================

  • Man 2 A Lady In A Crowded Bazaar:

  • I’ve Loxt My Wife. Will U Plxxzz Talk To Me 4r A Minute

  • Lady: Why?

  • Man: Whenever I Talk 2 Ladiex She Appears 4rm Somewhr.

  • =====================================

  • HusbNd K Marne K Next Day

  • Wife Ne Paper Me Add Diya: Janazy Me Shamil Honay Waly Logon Koh Thanx

  • 4rm:
  • Anam (Age28)
  • Height:5’4?
  • Gora Rang
  • Bachay Nahi Han.

  • =====================================

  • Haqikat H0 Tm Kesy Tujhy Sapna Kah0n
  • Tere Her Dard K0 Ab Mein Apna Kah0n
  • Sub Kuch Qurban Hay Meri Jan Tujh Per
  • K0n Hay Tere Seva Jisy Mein Apna Kah0n.

  • =====================================

  • Mein Apne Daman Mein Chupa L00n Tujhk0
  • Dil Karta Hay Apna Bana L00n Tujhk0
  • Mar K B Na T00tey Ye Rishta Hmara
  • Is Tarha Sey Apni R00h Mein Sama L00n Tujhk0
  • Apni Baah0n Mein Is Tarah Sey Le L0n
  • K Phir Na Baah0n Sey Nikal0n Tujhk0.

  • =====================================
  • Taxidriver: Ab Tak Me 10 Pregnant
  • Ladkiy0n K0 Airp0rt Ch0d Chuka Huun
  • Girl: Per May T0 Pregnant Nai Hun
  • Driver: Abi Airp0rt B Kahan Aaya Hay Madam.

  • =====================================



  • Beauty D0esn’t Make Luv
  • But
  • Luv Makes Beauty
  • Break Everything
  • But
  • Never Break The Heart
  • Heart Is The Music
  • Play It
  • But
  • Never Play With It.

  • =====================================
  • If U Want T0 Miss Me
  • If U Want T0 Feel Me
  • S0
  • Cl0se Ur Eyes Nd Keep
  • Ur Hand 0n Ur Heart
  • Nd
  • Then Listen
  • Dhak
  • Dhak
  • Dhak
  • Dhak
  • Yesits Me.

  • =====================================

  • W0h mil jatey hain kahani bankar
  • Dil mein baas jatey hain nishani bankar
  • Jinhe hm rakhte hain apni aakh0n mein
  • Kiyun nikal jatey hain w0h pani bankar
  • Khayaal0 k0h kisi aahat ki aas rehti hai
  • Nigaah0n k0h teri talaash rehti hai
  • Teray bina k0i kami nahi lekin
  • Teray bagarr tabiyat udaas rehti hai.

  • =====================================
  • Ur V0ice Shall N0t
  • Be Silenced Because
  • It Brings Life
  • T0 My Heart
  • Ur Wings Shall
  • N0t Be Br0ken
  • Because Their
  • M0ti0n Rem0ves
  • The Cl0ud 0f Darkness
  • Fr0m My Heart.

  • =====================================
  • Hamara yai tm k0h salaam aakhri hai
  • Sun0 aj tm se kalaam aakhri hai
  • Agar h0 sake t0h bhula dena hm k0h
  • Yehi ek chh0ta sa kaam aakhri hai
  • Abhi aarzu0n ke sehra pyase hain
  • Magar aansu0n ka ye jaam aakhri hai
  • Teri bewafaye ka shikwa aakhri hai
  • Yehi t0h wafa0n ka inaam aakhri hai
  • Mariz-e-m0habbat ki aye chaara saz0
  • tmhare shehar me yai shaam aakhri hai
  • Zara dair thehr0 qazaa k farisht0
  • Lab0n pe hamara payaam aakhri hai
  • K0i mil sake gha na Hasrat ke jesa
  • Teri ada0n ka ye ghulam aakhri ha.

  • =====================================

  • I Feel S0mething In My Heart
  • Its Like A Little Flame
  • Every Time I See U
  • This Flame Lights Up
  • This Flame Is Special F0r U
  • Because I L0VE U.

  • =====================================

  • Difference Between Friend & Wife
  • !
  • U Can Tell Ur Friend
  • U R My Best Friend
  • But
  • !
  • D0 U Have C0urage Tell T0 Ur Wife
  • U R My Best Wife.

  • =====================================
  • Biwi raat me kapde utrte hue…
  • tirchi nazar se Santa ki traf dekte hue boli:
  • Pata he na kya karna hai..?
  • .
  • Santa: teri aisi ki taisi,,,
  • Me itni rat ko kpde nahi dhounga..!=

  • =====================================

  • WIFE: What would you do if i died? Would you get married again?

  • Husband: No…

  • Wife- Why not? Don’t you like being married?

  • Husband: Of course i do.

  • Wife: Then why wouldn’t you remarry?

  • Husband: Ok, ok, i’d get married again…

  • Wife: Would you live in our house with your new Wife…?

  • Husband: Yes, it’s a great house.

  • Wife: Would you let her drive my car ?

  • Husband: Yes, its almost new, dear .

  • Wife: Would you give her my jewelry?

  • Husband: No.. I am sure she would want her own..

  • Wife: Would she wear my shoes..?

  • Husband: No, her size is ’5′

  • Wife: –silence-

  • Husband: ‘shiiit’…!!!

  • =====================================

  • Wife (seeing stars) :
  • Batao, wo kaun si cheez
  • hai jo tum roz dekhte ho,
  • par tod nahi sakte?
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • Husband: tumhara Moo !



  • Shohar Ek Aisi Mazloom Makhlooq Hai.

  • Jis k Samne choohe aur Chipkali Se Darne

  • Wali BV B Sher Ban K Ghoomti Hai.

  • =====================================
  • Wife is dreaming in the middle of the night
  • And suddenly shouts: Up! Quick! My husband is back.

  • Man gets up, jumps out of the window
  • hurts himself, and then realizes:
  • Damn, I am the husband.

  • =====================================

  • Ek couple train se jate hue surang se
  • guzre..
  • .
  • HUSBAND:” Agar pata hota surang itni
  • lambi hai to fayda utha leta
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • WIFE:” Hey Bhagwaan
  • To kya Wo Aap
  • nahi The.. ??

  • =====================================

  • Husband Bivi Se:
  • Pani Pila Do …
  • Bivi : Kya Pyaas Lagi Hai ??
  • ..
  • ..
  • ..
  • ..
  • ..
  • ..
  • ..
  • ..
  • Husband (Gussey se):
  • ” Nahi ” Gala Check Karna
  • Hai Kahin se “LEAK” to Nahi
  • Hai.

  • =====================================
  • Husband :- ” Kamar Me Bahot
  • Dard Hai..
  • .
  • Baaju Ke Ghar Se IODEX Le
  • Aao..
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • Wife :- “Wo Nahi Denge…
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • Husband :- “Kitne Kanjoos Hai
  • Saaale,
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • Jaane Do, Apna
  • Hi Nikal Lo,
  • Almaari Me Rakha
  • Hai.

  • =====================================

  • Husband: may tang agaya hun
  • .
  • .
  • Har cheez may meri Car mera ghar
  • mera mera karti ho
  • .
  • .
  • Kabhi hamara bhi keh dya karo..
  • .
  • Ab kiya dhoond rahi ho rahi ho?
  • .
  • .
  • Wife:
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • hamara duppata..

  • =====================================
  • Biwi: Khana kha lia tum ny?
  • Shohar: Khana kha lia tum ny?

  • Biwi: Btao na
  • Shohar: Btao na

  • Biwi: Meri naqal?
  • Shohr: Meri naqal?

  • Bv: I Love u

  • Shohr: Han kha lia.

  • =====================================
  • Unmarried Man:” Mujhe shaadi nahi karni,
  • mujhe sab aurto se darr lagta hai
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • Married Man:” Shaadi kar lo

  • fir 1 hi aurat se darr lagega, baaki sab achhi lagegi.

  • =====================================

  • Wife: U had lunch?
  • Husbnd : U had lunch?
  • Wife : Im asking u.
  • Husbnd : Im asking u.
  • Wife: U copying me?
  • Husbnd: U copying me?
  • Wife: Lets go shopping..
  • Husbnd: I had lunch.

  • =====================================

  • A husband said this to his wife :
  • If Jannah was a flower♥
  • I would pick it for you♥
  • If Jannah was a bird♥
  • I would catch it for you♥
  • If Jannah was a house♥
  • I’d build it for you, but♥
  • Since Jannah is a place♥
  • no eye has ever seen♥
  • I make dua for Allah♥
  • to reserve it for you

  • =====================================


  • Husband Ke Birthday Par Wife Ne
  • Puchha – Kya Gift Du?
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • Husband :- Tum Mujhe Pyar Karo,
  • Izzat Karo Aur Hamesha Mera Kehna
  • Maano.
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • Bas Yahi Kaafi Hai.
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • Wife:- ( Kuchh Der Sochne Ke Baad )
  • Nahi Nahi Main To GIFT Hi Dungi.

  • =====================================

  • Husband (jalane k liye):
  • “Kal mere khawab me ek ladki aai thi
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • Wah kya ladki the
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • Wife: “Akeli aayi hogi.?? :/
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • Husband: “Tum ko kaise pata ?? :O
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • Wife: “Uska husband mere khwab me aaya tha

  • =====================================

  • B.v Phone pe:Kahan ho?
  • Husband :Ofce M Bzi Hu
  • Tum Kia Kar rahi ho?
  • .
  • Wife:KFC me Ap k pecha Bethi hu
  • or Bachay Poch Rhy ha Papa K Sath
  • Konsi Phuphou Bethi Hy?

  • =====================================

  • Wife Sitaray Dekhte Hue Boli:
  • Batao Wo Konsi Cheez Hai
  • Jo Tum Roz Dekhtay Ho Lekin Torr Nahi Saktay?

  • Husband:
  • Tumhara mooh.

  • =====================================

  • Husband Wife ki larai ho rahi thi,
  • Unka chota bacha b waha Betha Ta,
  • .
  • Husband:tu Kutti,
  • .
  • Wife:tu Kutta,
  • ,
  • ,
  • Bacha masumiat se bola,
  • or me “TOMI.

  • =====================================
  • As per research,

  • A man speaks 25,000 words daily,

  • &

  • A woman speaks 30,000,

  • Problem starts when husband comes, home from office after consuming,his 25,000 words

  • &

  • wife starts her 30,000.

  • =====================================

  • Husband was busy
  • watching IPL,
  • Wife Came in a New,
  • Dress & Askd Him :
  • Main Kaisi Lag Rahi Hun?
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • Husband Clapped &
  • Shouted.. :
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • ”CHHAKKA

  • =====================================
  • Husband Biwi Se:”
  • Pani Pila Do…
  • .
  • .
  • Biwi:” Kya! ,Pyaas Lagi Hai ??
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • Husband (Gussey se):”Nahi”Gala Check Karna Hai
  • Kahin se”LEAK”to Nahi Hai :p

  • =====================================

  • Husband:” sir meri wife kho gai
  • hai
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • postman:” Yeh post office hai police station nahi..
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • . Husband:” ohh sorry! Saala
  • khushi k mare kaha jaon, kuch
  • samjh mein nahi aa raha
  • hai…:D
  • =====================================

  • Super POGO Joke.. ;-))
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • 1 aadmi Dinner Ke Vakt Apne bete
  • Se Gusse Me Bola:” Gadhe, KARELA Kha,LAMBA Hoga..
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • Kitchen Se Sharmate Hue WIFE Boli:”
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • .
  • AAP Bhi Khaiye Na….

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