non veg joke funny 2017


  1. Pappu = Kal papa ke room se pray karney ki aawazein aa rahi thi. 

  2. Jeeto = Ye to achchi baat hai. 

  3. Pappu = Papa to chup the, unki secretary #chilla rahi thi 'O God…O God'…

  4. Pray

  5. ******************************************************************************************

  6. Santa ek din badaa confuse sa tha aur usne banta se pucha..

  7. Santa = “Yaar teri biwi chalu hai,# mujhe hamesha dekh ke muskurati rehti hai..?”

  8. Banta = "Oye nahin yaar aisa kuch nahin hai, usne mujhse suhagraat pe puchha tha,

  9. kya maine kabhi kisi ke saath sex kiya hai, to maine tera naam le liya tha"….

  10. Stare

  11. *******************************************************************************************

  12. Ek pathan ki shaadi ke 3 din baad #ski patni boli, "Maine aapse shaadi is liye ki hai

  13. taaki humaare bachche hon, is liye nahi ke mujhe poty khul kar aaye"……21

  14. Shouting

  15. *******************************************************************************************

  16. 1 girl ask to pappu = Woh kya hai jo cow ke paas 4 or mere paas 2 hain..?

  17. Pappu = Legs

  18. Girl = Woh kya hai jo tumhari pant main hai aur meri pant mein nahin hai..?

  19. Pappu = Rupay

  20. Girl = Woh kya hai jo log din main karne ke bajaye raat ko bistar pe kartay hain..?

  21. Pappu = Neend puri karte hain…

  22. Girl = Woh kya hai jo ladki pehli #daffa karwate huye pain ki wajah se roti hai…?

  23. Pappu = Kaan(Ear) main chhed..

  24.  

  25. MORAL = Aap bhi apni soch pappu ki tarha saaf rakhein….

  26. Talking

  27. ******************************************************************************************

  28. Banta road se gujar raha tha,

  29. Achanak usne jhuk kar road se kuch uthaya, Or phir jor se chillaya….

  30. Kamineee…

  31. Potty bhi aise karte hain jaise "Samosa" pada ho….

  32. Angry

  33. ******************************************************************************************

  34. Teacher class mein = “Bachho, ji#mmedari pe ek sentance banao”

  35. Santa = “Madam ji, agar aapke blause ke 4 mein se 3 batan toot jaaye,

  36. to saari "Jimmedari" sirf ek batan par hogi.

  37. Teacher

  38. ******************************************************************************************

  39. Mom = Tujhe ladka pasand aaya ho to baat agey chalayen.

  40. Girl = Ladka to theek hai par mota hai.

  41. Mom = TV chahe 14" ka ho ya 29" ka remote 6" ka hi hota hai.

  42. Remote

  43. ******************************************************************************************

  44. Mother = Do u know the meaning of# Mangalsutra? 

  45. Daughter = Yes, it is the license to #enjoy Kamasutra.

  46. Necklace

  47. *******************************************************************************************

  48. Sex is like a restaurant sometimes# u get good service, sometimes bad service,

  49. sometimes no service & many times u have to be happy wid self service….

  50. Repair

  51. ********************************************************************************************

  52. Santa = Mujhse pangaa mat le, main sher ka puttar hun..

  53. Banta = Achchha yaar, ye to bata ki sher ghar aaya tha ya aunti jungle gayi thi….

  54. Tiger

  55. ********************************************************************************************

  56. Ek din boss apne office time se pehle pohonch gaya, wahan pohonch kar 

  57. usne dekha ki manager secretary ko kiss kar raha hai..

  58. Boss(ghusse mein) = Kya main tumko ye sab karne ke liye salary deta hun..?

  59. Manager = Nahin sir, Ye sab to main free of cost karta hun….

  60. Work

  61. *********************************************************************************************

  62. Nasbandi ki team ko dubara apne village me dekh kar ek budha bola,

  63. “ In logo ne connection to pahle hi kat diya tha, ab kya handset bhi le jayege"..

  64. Connection

  65. *********************************************************************************************

  66. Girl = Main jab bhi apne pados wale ladke ko dekhti hoon, meri bra tight ho jati hai. 

  67. Maa Boli = "Kal se bra hi mat pehan, uski pant tight ho jayegi!!"

  68. Girl Boy

  69. **********************************************************************************************

  70. Girl = Ab bas bhi kro raat ke 12 baje se kar rahe ho or subh k 5:30 baj chuke hai,

  71. thake nahin..?

  72. Boy = Abhi to kuch bhi nahin kiya ab to din raat karunga. 

  73. Kyunki mere 3000 msg jo free hai….

  74. Chat

  75. **********************************************************************************************

  76. Santa = Mein tumhare liye churiyan laya hoon. 

  77. Maid = Aap hi pehna dijiye. 

  78. Santa = Mujhe tumhara response pehle pata hota to mein panty lekar aata.

  79. Dog

  80. **********************************************************************************************

  81. Santa ne apni sagaai tod di kyunki ladki virgin thi. 

  82. Wajah puchne par santa bola = Jo aaj tak kisi ki nahi hui woh meri kaise ho sakti hai.

  83. Mouse

  84. **********************************************************************************************

  85. Pregnant girl se doctor ne pucha = Yeh kab hua? 

  86. Girl = Jab mom n dad film dekhne gaye the, tab mera friend ghar aaya tha. 

  87. Doctor = Tum saath kyun nahin gayi..?

  88. Girl = Adult movie thi na….

  89. Pregnant

  90. ***********************************************************************************************

  91. Teri sula ke lun, 

  92. Ya bitha ke lun,

  93. Ya tujhe karun khada..

  94. Ya phir teri jhuka-jhuka ke lun..?

  95. Ab tu hi bata ki mein teri….

  96. .

  97. .

  98. .


  99. "Photo kaise lun"…..

  100. Photo

  101. *********************************************************************************************

  102. A man to shopkeeper = Ek White colour ka condom dena. 

  103. Shopkeeper = White hi kyun? 

  104. Man = Padosan ka husband guzar gaya hai afsos karne jaana hai.

  105. Snail

  106. *********************************************************************************************

  107. Santa apni sasuraal mein apni wife se = Chalo sex karte hain..

  108. Wife = Nahin ye mere baap ka ghar hai..

  109. Santa = To mere baap ka ghar chaklaa hai kya, jo roz taiiyaar ho jaati hai…?

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