sms-jokes-messages-jokes-hi-jokes


  1. What is the perfect example
  2. of both Good & Bad Luck?

  3. The naughty wind blows the girl’s skirt high (Good luck)

  4. but at the same time

  5. Dust falls into the boy’s eyes (Bad luck)

  6.  funny jokes for adults
  7. Love is a gamble,
  8. Sex is a game,
  9. Boyz do the thing
  10. Girls get the blame,
  11. 1 night in pleasure
  12. 9 months of pain
  13. 1 day in hospital and
  14. a junior needs a name

  15.  adult joke sms
  16. Boy and girl of class 2 asked teacher:
  17. “can kids of our age have kids?”

  18. Teacher replied ” NO Never!!”

  19. Boy said to girl :
  20. “see i told you not to worry!!!!”.

  21.  party jokes for adults
  22. A short thing
  23. its get longer as u hold it
  24. & pass between woman’s breast
  25. & enters into a small hole
  26. What is it?

  27.  adult joke pictures
  28. Sardar sent SMS to his BOSS:
  29. “Me sick, no work”
  30. Boss SMS back:
  31. “When I am sick I kiss my wife try it”
  32. 2 hours later sardar sms 2 boss:
  33. “Me ok, ur wife very sweet”

  34.  hot jokes for adults
  35. In a party a lady wanted
  36. to go to toilet so
  37. she inquired with a sardar
  38. papaji susu karne ki jagah dikhao,

  39. sardarji replied u naughty
  40. pehle tum dikhao.

  41.  new adult jokes
  42. Fair & lovely ke ad ma face dikhaya
  43. Ponds ke ad ma hath dikhaya
  44. Pentene ke ad ma baal dikhaye
  45. Phir always ke ad ma cheating kyun?

  46.  free adults joikes
  47. Santa and Jeeto were planning to go on a second honeymoon for their 10th wedding anniversary.

  48. Jeeto said, “We will go to all the same places that we did on our first honeymoon.”

  49. “As you wish,” said Santa.

  50. “Will we do all the things that we did on our first honeymoon?” asked Jeeto.

  51. “Ok,” said Santa.

  52. “And will we make love like we did on our first honeymoon?” asked Jeeto.

  53. “That’s right,” said Santa, “except this time I get to sit on the side of the bed and cry, ‘It’s too big, it’s too big!'”

  54.  hindi adult sms
  55. Math Teacher..1 me 2 Dalain Tu kya Hota hy?

  56. Girl: miss yeh to ap ka hi hosla he hmari to 1 se hi jaan nikal jati he..

  57.  funny short adult jokes
  58. A population control program had been introduced in a remote village, but the doctors were having trouble getting the women to take their birth control pills. They decided, therefore, to concentrate on teaching the men to wear condoms.

  59. Doctor told Santa, who had 4 children in four years, that he absolutely had to wear a condom. Doctor explained that as long as he wore it his wife could not have another baby.

  60. About a month later Santa’s wife, Jeeto, came in and she was pregnant. The doctor got very angry. He called Santa in and gave him a long lecture through an interpreter. He asked Santa why he hadn’t worn the condom.

  61. The interpreter said, “He swears he did wear it. He never took it off.”

  62. The doctor shook his head. “In that case, ask him how in the heck his wife is pregnant again?”

  63. “He says,” said the interpreter, “that after six days he had to pee so badly that he cut the end off.”




  64. Santa and Jeeto were planning to go on a second honeymoon for their 10th wedding anniversary.

  65. Jeeto said, “We will go to all the same places that we did on our first honeymoon.”

  66. “As you wish,” said Santa.

  67. “Will we do all the things that we did on our first honeymoon?” asked Jeeto.

  68. “Ok,” said Santa.

  69. “And will we make love like we did on our first honeymoon?” asked Jeeto.

  70. “That’s right,” said Santa, “except this time I get to sit on the side of the bed and cry, ‘It’s too big, it’s too big!'”

  71.  adult funny jokes
  72. Helen was in her late thirties and still not married. She just had a hard time meeting men. And the men she did meet all ended up being jerks. Finally, she decided to place an ad in the personals in the newspaper.

  73. Helen wrote: “Looking for a man who wont beat me, wont leave me, and is excellent in bed.” ..

  74. Several days went by and she hadnt gotten a single call. Then, one day she was doing her laundry when she heard a knock on the door. She walked upstairs to answer it. She opened the door and saw a man in a wheelchair with no arms and no legs.

  75. “Can I help you?” Helen asked. .. He said, “I am the man of your dreams!” .. Helen was baffled. She said, “Excuse me.” .. “I read your personal ad in the paper and I am the perfect man for you. I have no arms, so I cant beat you. I have no legs, so I can never leave you.” .. “But are you good in bed?” Helen asked. .. He replied, “How do you think I knocked on the door?!”

  76.  funny adults jokes
  77. Jab tere chikoo the, sab tere pichhu the,

  78. jab tere aam hue, sab pareshan hue,

  79. jab tere kharbuje hue, bade ajube hue,

  80. jab tere jhool gaye, sab tujhe bhool gaye.

  81.  funny adult jokes
  82. On a lonely island which dont have any animal or human being a plane crashes.

  83. all the passangers leaving a sardar and a goat died.

  84. now sardar is alone with the goat. many days passed like that.

  85. as island is full of vegetables and fruits sardar and goat dont have any problem of eating.

  86. one day sardar is feeling very horny, but he is not able to satisfy his sexual desire.

  87. he thought of f~cking goat.

  88. but whenever he want to f~ck her, goat throw her legs and so sardar is not able to f~ck her.

  89. after few days one more plane crashes and all the passangers leaving a beautiful girl died.

  90. as girl had got many injuries, sardar helped her a lot.

  91. by the help of sardar she got well very soon.

  92. and thanked sardar and told him that he can do anything for him.

  93. then sardar asked her that can u do anything.

  94. girl said yes.

  95. then sardar told her held the legs of this goat as i like to f~ck her.

  96.  free adult jokes
  97. American Aur Desi

  98. american aur desi mein kya farak hota hai?

  99. american kaam ko dimaak mein aur c ko l pe rakhta hai .

  100. Aur desi c ko dimaak mein aur kaam ko l pe rakhta hai

  101.  adults jokes
  102. A sardar was hurrly fucing a girl in a car!

  103. A policeman came and asked the sardar what r u doing?

  104. Sardar said i am fucing a girl

  105. The policeman said now its my turn,

  106. The sardar said i have never fuced a policeman?

  107.  adult jokes funny
  108. My Life was in darkness before i met u, but now it is bright.u know why? Coz u r a “Tubelight

  109.  adult jokes sms
  110. A young girl after her honeymoon
  111. came fully exhausted and tired,

  112. When her friends asked her what happened?

  113. She replied :
  114. When this 70 year old bastard told me
  115. he has saved a lot from last 50 years,

  116. “I thought It was MONEY”

  117.  funny jokes for adults
  118. A short thing
  119. its get longer as u hold it
  120. & pass between woman’s breast
  121. & enters into a small hole
  122. What is it?

  123. Ans. cars seat belt…u dirty mind

  124.  adult joke sms
  125. Unlike others, ur brain is a masterpiece. it has 2 halves the left & the right The left has nothing right in it & d right has nothing left in it.




  126. Boy:what is that u keep in ur mouth
  127. which is 6? long
  128. and move it in and out
  129. and wait for a white substance to come out?

  130. Girl: y do u ask such question to me.
  131. i cant tell such words

  132. Boy:dont worry its tooth brush

  133.  filthy adult jokes
  134. Do you like maths,
  135. if so add a bed,
  136. subtract ur clothes,
  137. divide your legs and
  138. can we multiply?

  139.  one liner jokes adults
  140. An engineering student to his sweeper brother: I have got degree, I have got knowledge, I can sit in society. What do you have? Sweeper: I have the job.

  141.  funny dirty adult jokes
  142. Gabbar: Basanti chaddi utar. Viru: nahi Basantiin kutto ke samne chaddi mat utarna. Basanti: Viru dar mat maine chaddi pahni hi nahi hai…

  143.  adult short jokes
  144. Sex is a sensation caused by temptation,
  145. when a man puts his location in a woman’s destination,
  146. did U understand the explination or
  147. would U like a demonstration?

  148.  short funny adults jokes
  149. Man said passionately: Will you marry me? My father is a millionaire and 93 years old. He is going to die soon and then I shall be very very rich. What do you say? She said nothing but a week later, she became his mother!

  150.  one liner adult jokes
  151. PHILOSOPHY : small things hurt a lot Example : u can sit on a mountain but not on a pin…

  152.  funny short adult jokes
  153. Life is like a P–nIS. Sometimes up somtms down, smtms hard smtms soft, smtms small smtms big, smtmms in smtms out. So enjoy da PE-iS….OOOps, I mean life.

  154.  adult sms jokes
  155. Utility of Mangalsutra?

  156. Licence 2 enjoy Kamasutra without Condom..

  157. Whats the utility of a Condom?

  158. Licence to enjoy Kamasutra without the Mangalsutra…

  159.  adult funny jokes
  160. What is the difference When
  161. A Girl Wears A Mini Skirt &
  162. A Boy Wears a Mini Skirt?

  163. Ans:
  164. The Girl Will Look
  165. SEXY
  166. &
  167. The Boy
  168. .
  169. .
  170. .
  171. A CHURCH BELL! 😉





  172. Can you explain to me how this lipstick got on your collar? the suspicious wife sneered. No I cant the husband replied. I distinctly remember taking my shirt off.

  173.  free adult jokes
  174. Always start your day with a lot of… S E X
  175. S – SMILE
  176. E – ENERGY
  177. X – XCITEMENT
  178. so make S E X a daily habit, and youll always B SUCC SEX FUL! in LIFE.

  179.  short adult jokes
  180. Come here,
  181. take off your pents and knickers,
  182. get on top of me,
  183. enjoy until u get satisfied,
  184. loving yours…..
  185. toilet!

  186.  adult thanksgiving jokes
  187. Sardar on phone:

  188. Doctor my wife is pergnant.She is having pain right now.

  189. Doctor: Is this her first child?

  190. Sardar: No this is her husband speaking‚¦

  191.  clean adult jokes
  192. A girl phoned me
  193. the other day and said …
  194. “Come on over, there’s nobody home.”
  195. I went over. Nobody was home

  196.  short jokes for adults
  197. What’s an average 6 inch long
  198. Inside a guy’s pants and girls love to blow it up?
  199. ?
  200. ?
  201. ?
  202. ?
  203. A:1000- rupee currency note.!
  204. Always think positive

  205.  funny adults jokes hindi
  206. What is the perfect example
  207. of both Good & Bad Luck?

  208. The naughty wind blows the girl’s skirt high (Good luck)

  209. but at the same time

  210. Dust falls into the boy’s eyes (Bad luck)

  211.  adult jokes
  212. Love is a gamble,
  213. Sex is a game,
  214. Boyz do the thing
  215. Girls get the blame,
  216. 1 night in pleasure
  217. 9 months of pain
  218. 1 day in hospital and
  219. a junior needs a name

  220.  best adult jokes
  221. Boy and girl of class 2 asked teacher:
  222. “can kids of our age have kids?”

  223. Teacher replied ” NO Never!!”

  224. Boy said to girl :
  225. “see i told you not to worry!!!!”.

  226.  funny jokes
  227. A short thing
  228. its get longer as u hold it
  229. & pass between woman’s breast
  230. & enters into a small hole
  231. What is it?




  232. In a party a lady wanted
  233. to go to toilet so
  234. she inquired with a sardar
  235. papaji susu karne ki jagah dikhao,

  236. sardarji replied u naughty
  237. pehle tum dikhao.

  238.  clean jokes adults
  239. Come here,
  240. take off your pents and knickers,
  241. get on top of me,
  242. enjoy until u get satisfied,
  243. loving yours…..
  244. toilet!

  245.  funniest adult jokes ever
  246. aaj tumhein akeiley mein…
  247. le ja kar…
  248. apney hontoon se eik…
  249. k…
  250. ki…
  251. kis..
  252. kiss…
  253. kissa sunaon bili aur chohey ka……….

  254.  short funny adult jokes
  255. Lastnite i went 2 bed without u..

  256. cold, naked, thinking of u…

  257. missing ur warmth…

  258. ur soft touch against my skin…

  259. Where were u “lastnite”

  260.  party jokes for adults
  261. Girl to boy: Tum larkay kisi larki mei
  262. sub se pehlay kia daikhte ho ?

  263. Boy: Yeh tou depend karta hai k
  264. larki aa rahi hay ya ja rahi hai …:p

  265.  adult short jokes
  266. Pehle KISS karo,

  267. phir PALANG per leta do,

  268. phir CHADDI utar do,

  269. phir NICHE haath lagao.

  270.  funny adult joke
  271. Sardar on phone…

  272. Doctor my wife is pergnant.

  273. She is having pain right now.

  274. Doctor: Is this her first child?

  275. Sardar:  No this is her husband speaking.

  276.  free joke
  277. A girl phoned me
  278. the other day and said …
  279. “Come on over, there’s nobody home.”
  280. I went over. Nobody was home

  281.  one liner jokes adults
  282. Usne utari saree

  283. fir aayi peticoat ki bari

  284. blouse to pahle hi diya tha utar

  285. ziyadah excited mat ho yaar

  286. yeh tha kapray sukhane ka taar ….

  287.  great adult jokes
  288. NURSE kept SARDAR’S FINGER in HER MOUTH

  289. after BLOOD TEST.

  290. THEN SARDAR STARTED DANCING .

  291. NURSE: y r u DANCING.

  292. SARDAR: next is URINE TEST






  293. What’s an average 6 inch long

  294. Inside a guy’s pants and girls love to blow it up?

  295. ?
  296. ?
  297. ?
  298. ?
  299. A: 1000$ currency note.

  300. Always think positive

  301.  jokes adult
  302. What is the perfect example
  303. of both Good & Bad Luck?

  304. The naughty wind blows the girl’s skirt high (Good luck)

  305. but at the same time

  306. Dust falls into the boy’s eyes (Bad luck)

  307.  adult sms jokes
  308. Love is a gamble,

  309. Sex is a game,

  310. Boyz do the thing

  311. Girls get the blame,

  312. 1 night in pleasure

  313. 9 months of pain

  314. 1 day in hospital and

  315. a junior needs a name!

  316.  adult joke of the day
  317. Beti: Maa Gaon mein Fauji aaye hain
  318. Maa: andar aaja inki niyat bahut kharab hoti hai

  319. Beti: Maa fauji Pakistani hain
  320. Maa: to bakri ko bhi andar le aa.

  321.  gujarati adult jokes
  322. Boy and girl of class 2 asked teacher:

  323. “can kids of our age have kids?”

  324. Teacher replied ” NO Never!!”

  325. Boy said to girl :

  326. “see i told you not to worry!!!!”.

  327.  great adult jokes
  328. A short thing
  329. its get longer as u hold it
  330. & pass between woman’s breast
  331. & enters into a small hole
  332. What is it?

  333.  funny jokes adults
  334. Insan jb pehli bar dalta hy to wo confuse hota hay
  335. magar tum na ghabrana or dal dena
  336. tum jese hi rakho ge wo khud andar chala jaye ga
  337. phir thumein acha lagnay lagay ga
  338. or
  339. phir ajeeb ajeeb awazen ayen gi,
  340. or phr jub tumhari money nikal jaye
  341. to tum nikal lena apna ATM

  342.  funny birthday jokes for adults
  343. teri sula ke lu?

  344. ya bitha ke lu?

  345. ya tujhe karu khada

  346. ya fir teri juka-jukake lu?

  347. ab tu hi bata

  348. ki mein teri…

  349. photo kaise lu.

  350.  short funny adults jokes
  351. Aik bar karo na plz..

  352. kisi ko pata nahi chalega…

  353. plz karo naaa…

  354. muje acha lage ga…

  355. aik bar hamari dosti ki khatri…

  356. kar do na plzz…

  357. aik pyara sa SMS!!!

  358.  Hot jokes sms in english
  359. A Good friend is like a Good bra…

  360. hard to find, comfortable, supportive, prevents you from falling…

  361. holds you tight and is always close to your heart:)






  362. samunder kinare baithe hain kabhi to lahar aayegi…

  363. kismat badle na badle g*** to dhul jayegi

  364.  adults sms hindi 140 words
  365. ja sms ja mere piyare dost ke pass ager wo bessy ho to ruk jan…
  366. or ager free ho to un ke g*** main ghus jana…
  367. or tub tak hillty rehna jub tak wo mujhe koi acha sa sms reply na kar de
  368.  hindi double meaning jokes sms
  369. palat kar dekh jaaneman jiger me dum hum bhi rakhte hain…

  370. bra me do bomb tum rakhti ho to…

  371. underwear main ek gun hum bhi rakhte hain

  372.  

  373. Trying to find custom-writing-services custom-writing-services ? Check out this page: custom-writing-services.us

  374.  Clean jokes
  375. While reading a newspaper, Walter came across an article about a beautiful actress and model who married a boxer who was noted for his IQ.

  376. “I’ll never understand,” he said to his wife, “why the biggest jerks get the most attractive wives.”

  377. His wife replied, “Why, thank you, dear.”

  378.  Blonde joke
  379. A blonde asked someone what time it was, and they told her it was 4:45. The blonde, with a puzzled look on her face replied, You know, its the weirdest thing, I have been asking that question all day, and each time I get a different answer.

  380.  Jokes of the day
  381. It’s the thing that satisfies
  382. ur mind, body & soul!
  383. Do it on bed, on a sofa,
  384. in the car or anywhere!
  385. It’s called Prayer!
  386. God bless ur naughty mind.

  387.  Funny jokes dirty
  388. Can we do romance in the midnight today?
  389. I’m in a good mood:)
  390. Just a little bit of kissing and biting!!
  391. Reply me soon,
  392. yours Loving Mosquito.

  393.  Good jokes
  394. A guy walks into a bar and plunks down a huge piece of asphalt. The bar tender asks “What’ll you have?”
  395. The guy replies, “Give me a beer and another one for the road.”

  396.  Very funny adult jokes
  397. A Sardar & his wife filed an application for divorce.

  398. Judge asked :
  399. How will you divide, you have 3 children?

  400. Sardar replied :
  401. Ok! We will apply next year.

  402.  Little johnny jokes
  403. Little April was not the best student in Sunday school.
  404. Usually she slept through the class.

  405. One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, “Tell me, April, who created the universe?”

  406. When April didn’t stir, little Johnny, a boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear. “GOD ALMIGHTY!” shouted April and the teacher said, “Very good” and April fell back asleep.

  407. A while later the teacher asked April, “Who is our Lord and Saviour,” But, April didn’t even stir from her slumber. Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again. ‘JESUS CHRIST!” shouted April and the teacher said, “very good,” and April fell back to sleep.

  408. Then the teacher asked April a third question. “What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?” And again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin. This time April jumped up and shouted, “IF YOU STICK THAT F*****G THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME, I’LL BREAK IT IN HALF AND STICK IT UP YOUR ARSE!”

  409. The Teacher fainted.




  410. Yo mama so fat God told her he had no room in heaven and the devil said there was no room in hell

  411.  Joke of the day
  412. A young girl after her honeymoon
  413. came fully exhausted and tired,

  414. When her friends asked her what happened?

  415. She replied :
  416. When this 70 year old bastard told me
  417. he has saved a lot from last 50 years,

  418. “I thought It was MONEY”

  419.  Jokes dirty
  420. I want to suck you
  421. lick you
  422. wanna move my tongue all over you
  423. wanna feel you in my mouth
  424. yep, that’s how you
  425. eat an ice cream!

  426.  Knock knock jokes for adults
  427. Knock knock!

  428. Who’s there?

  429. Madame.

  430. Madame who?

  431. Madame foot’s caught in the door!

  432.  Adult jokes funny
  433. In a bath room,
  434. a boy touches a girl everywhere!
  435. You Know whose that boy?
  436. Stupid It’s Lifeboy Soap!
  437. Dirty people always think dirty.

  438.  Adult santa jokes
  439. Banta sits down at the bar, orders a drink and holds his head in his hands.

  440. When the bartender comes back, Banta is swearing softly under his breath and shaking his head.

  441. “Hey Banta, what’s happening?” asks the bartender.

  442. “I’m in DEEP SHIT,” Banta replies. “I just got caught screwing my neighbour.”

  443. “Oh wow!” says the barman, “Who caught you? Your wife or her husband?”

  444. “No,” said Banta, “HIS wife!”

  445.  One liner jokes
  446. The fight we had last night was my fault,
  447. my wife asked me what was on the TV and i said dust.

  448.  Adult jokes sms
  449. Always start your day with a lot of… S E X
  450. S – SMILE
  451. E – ENERGY
  452. X – XCITEMENT
  453. so make S E X a daily habit, and youll always B SUCC SEX FUL! in LIFE.

  454.  Funny dirty jokes
  455. Come here,
  456. take off your pents and knickers,
  457. get on top of me,
  458. enjoy until u get satisfied,
  459. loving yours…..
  460. toilet!

  461.  One line jokes
  462. Q. Why don’t guys like to preform oral sex on a woman the morning after sex?
  463. A. Have you ever tried pulling apart a grilled cheese sandwich?




  464. Sardar on phone:

  465. Doctor my wife is pergnant.She is having pain right now.

  466. Doctor: Is this her first child?

  467. Sardar: No this is her husband speaking‚¦

  468.  Funny jokes for adults
  469. NURSE kept SARDAR’S FINGER in HER MOUTH
  470. after BLOOD TEST.
  471. THEN SARDAR STARTED DANCING .
  472. NURSE:y r u DANCING.
  473. SARDAR:next is URINE TEST

  474.  Clean jokes adults
  475. What’s an average 6 inch long
  476. Inside a guy’s pants and girls love to blow it up?
  477. ?
  478. ?
  479. ?
  480. ?
  481. A:1000- rupee currency note.!
  482. Always think positive

  483.  Funniest adult jokes ever
  484. Boy and girl of class 2 asked teacher:
  485. “can kids of our age have kids?”

  486. Teacher replied ” NO Never!!”

  487. Boy said to girl :
  488. “see i told you not to worry!!!!”.

  489.  Adult joke sms
  490. What is the perfect example
  491. of both Good & Bad Luck?

  492. The naughty wind blows the girl’s skirt high (Good luck)

  493. but at the same time

  494. Dust falls into the boy’s eyes (Bad luck)

  495.  Funny adult jokes
  496. A Lutheran pastor, a Catholic priest and a professional poker player were fishing from a boat not from the shore of a lake. The pastor needed to go to the bathroom so he got out of the boat, walked across the water, disappeared into the woods by the shore, then walked back across the water to the boat and climbed back in.

  497. The priest was the next to make the trip, getting out of the boat, walking across the water, disappearing into the trees, then walking back across the water and returning to the boat.

  498. The professional poker player was the last to go. He stepped out of the boat and immediately sank. The pastor looked at the priest and said: “You really should have told him where the rocks are.”

  499.  Sardar adult jokes
  500. Sardar sent SMS to his BOSS:
  501. “Me sick, no work”
  502. Boss SMS back:
  503. “When I am sick I kiss my wife try it”
  504. 2 hours later sardar sms 2 boss:
  505. “Me ok, ur wife very sweet”

  506.  Adult joke in hindi
  507. A Boy Goes To His Mother One Day With A Puzzled Look.

  508. Boy: “Mom, Why Is My Bigger Brother Named Thunderstorm?”

  509. She Told Him: “Because He Was Conceived During A Mighty Storm.”

  510. Then He Asked: “Why Is My Sister Named Cornflower?”

  511. She Replied: “Well, Your Father And I Were In A Cornfield When We Made Her.”

  512. Boy: “And Why Is My Other Sister Called Moonchild?”

  513. Mom Replied: “Because We Were Watching The Moon Landing While She Was Conceived.”

  514. Thoughtfully, Mother Paused And Asked Her Son: “But Why Are You So Curious, Broken Rubber?“

  515.  Christmas adult jokes
  516. How come you never hear anything about the 10th reindeer “Olive” ?
  517. Olive ?
  518. Yeah, you know, “Olive the other reindeer, used to laugh and call him names”

  519.  Adult joke pictures
  520. On the first day of school, the children brought gifts for their teacher.

  521. The supermarket manager’s daughter brought the teacher a basket of assorted fruit.

  522. The florist’s son brought the teacher a bouquet of flowers.

  523. The candy-store owner’s daughter gave the teacher a pretty box of candy.

  524. Then the liquor-store owner’s son brought up a big, heavy box. The teacher lifted it up and noticed that it was leaking a little bit..

  525. She touched a drop of the liquid with her finger and tasted it.

  526. “Is it wine?” she guessed. “No,” the boy replied.

  527. She tasted another drop and asked, “Champagne?”

  528. “No,” said the little boy…




  529. Ek Hizda (Chakka) fauj mein bharti ke liye gya.

  530. Officer:- Tum fauji nhi bn skty, tumhara wo nhi hai.

  531. Hizda (taali mar ke) boal: – haye haye tumko goli chlwani hai ya maa chu*wani hai.

  532.  New adult jokes
  533. A short thing
  534. its get longer as u hold it
  535. & pass between woman’s breast
  536. & enters into a small hole
  537. What is it?

  538. Ans. cars seat belt…u dirty mind

  539.  Filthy adult jokes
  540. A short thing
  541. its get longer as u hold it
  542. & pass between woman’s breast
  543. & enters into a small hole
  544. What is it?

  545.  Adult short jokes
  546. Sardar sent SMS to his BOSS:
  547. “Me sick, no work”
  548. Boss SMS back:
  549. “When I am sick I kiss my wife try it”
  550. 2 hours later sardar sms 2 boss:
  551. “Me ok, ur wife very sweet”

  552.  Adult easter jokes
  553. Q – How does the Easter bunny stay in shape?
  554. A – Hareobics!

  555.  Party jokes for adults
  556. John, woke up after the annual office Christmas party with a pounding headache, cotton-mouthed and utterly unable to recall the events of the preceding evening.

  557. After a trip to the bathroom, he made his way downstairs, where his wife put some coffee in front of him.

  558. “Louise,” he moaned, “tell me what happened last night. Was it as bad as I think?”

  559. “Even worse,” she said, her voice oozing scorn. “You made a complete ass of yourself. You succeeded in antagonising the entire board of directors and you insulted the president of the company, right to his face.”

  560. “He’s an asshole,” John said. “Piss on him.”

  561. “You did,” came the reply. “And he fired you.”

  562. “Well, screw him!” said John.

  563. “I did. You’re back at work on Monday.

  564.  Adult jokes in hindi
  565. “Kahte Hai Kisi Ko Kuch Kahne Se Pahle Apne Girhebaan Mein Jhank Lena Chahiye, Is Kahavat Ko Sach Karta Ek Joke.”

  566. Ek Aurat Ne Rote Hue Apni Sath Wali Padosan Ko Dukhda Sunaya.

  567. Aurat: “Mujhe Bachcha Nahi Ho Raha”

  568. Padosan: “Tumhara Pati Gandu Hoga?”

  569. Aurat: “Mera Pati Kya, Mujhe To Tumhara Pati Bhi Gandu Hi Lagta Hai“

  570.  Adult humor joke
  571. Hello, this is Sally’s microwave. Her answering machine just eloped with her tape deck, so I’m stuck with taking her calls. Say, if you want anything cooked while you leave your message, just hold it up to the phone.

  572.  Funny birthday jokes for adults
  573. Its a dedicated ceremony,
  574. an anniversary, but not wedding.
  575. The easy way to tell is
  576. its birthday.
  577. Have a smile in all the way
  578. & have a lovely birthday.

  579.  Great adult jokes
  580. A husband and wife had four boys. The odd part of it was that the
  581. older three had red hair, light skin, and were tall, while the
  582. youngest son had black hair, dark eyes, and was short.
  583. The father eventually took ill and was lying on his deathbed when he
  584. turned to his wife and said, “Honey, before I die, be totally honest
  585. with me – is our youngest son my child?”
  586. The wife replied, “I swear on everything that’s holy that he is your
  587. son.”
  588. With that the husband passed away. The wife then muttered, “Thank God
  589. he didn’t ask about the other three.”



  590. A mom of an 8-year-old boy was awaiting her son’s arrival from school. As he ran in, he said he needed to talk to her about making babies. He claimed he knew about the development of a fetus but didn’t understand the answer to that “million dollar question.” Namely, how did the sperm get into the woman? The mom asked the boy what he thought the answer was. The boy said that the sperm is manufactured in the man’s stomach, it rises up to his chest, then throat, and into his mouth whereupon he kisses the woman and deposits the sperm into her mouth. The mom told her boy that was a good guess, but wrong. She said that she would give him a hint… that the sperm came out of the man’s pen*is. Suddenly, the boy’s face became quite red and he said, “YOU MEAN YOU PUT YOUR MOUTH ON THAT THING!?”

  591.  One liner jokes adults
  592. Q: What’s the difference between your job and a dead prostitute?
  593. A: Your job still sucks!

  594.  Awesome jokes for adults
  595. An elderly woman went into the doctor’s office. When the doctor asked why
  596. she was there, she replied, “I’d like to have some birth-control pills.”
  597. Taken back, the doctor thought for a minute and then said, “Excuse me, Mrs.
  598. Smith, but you’re 72 years old. What possible use could you have for birth
  599. control pills?”
  600. The woman responded, “They help me sleep better.”
  601. The doctor thought some more and continued, “How in the world do birth
  602. control pills help you to sleep?”
  603. The woman said, “Simple, I put them in my granddaughter’s orange juice every
  604. morning and I sleep better at night.”

  605.  Adult joke of the day
  606. On a Trans-Atlantic flight, a plane passes through a severe storm. The turbulence is awful, and things go from bad to worse when one wing is struck by lightning. One woman in particular loses it.

  607. Screaming, she stands up in the front of the plane. “I’m too young to die!” she wails.
  608. Then she yells, “Well, if I’m going to die, I want my last minutes on Earth to be memorable! I’ve had plenty of sex in my life, but no one has ever made me really feel like a woman! Well I’ve had it! Is there ANYONE on this plane who can make me feel like a WOMAN??”

  609. For a moment there is silence. Everyone has forgotten their own peril,and they all stare, riveted, at the desperate woman in the front of the plane.

  610. Then, a man stands up in the rear of the plane. “I can make you feel like a woman,” he says. He was gourgeous. Tall, built, with long, flowing black hair and jet black eyes, he starts to walk slowly up the aisle,unbuttoning his shirt one button at a time. No one moves.

  611. The woman is breathing heavily in anticipation as the strange man approaches. He removes his shirt. Muscles ripple across his chest as he reaches her, and extends the arm holding his shirt to the trembling woman,and whispers: “Iron”

  612.  adult hindi joke
  613. “Jo Log Sex Karte Hue Bar Bar Condom Pahan Ne Ki Wajah Se Dukhi Hai Kripya Vo Santa Ki Biwi Ka Diya Hua Ye Idea Istemal Kare.”

  614. Santa Ke Do Bache The Aur Uski Biwi Nahi Chahti Thi Ki Aur Bachhe Ho

  615. So Isliye Vo Use Har Bar Sex Karte Hue Condom Lagane Ko Bola Karti Thi

  616. Ek Din Raat Ko Santa Jab Sex Karne Laga To Condom Lagate Hue Bola

  617. Santa: “Uff Ye Roz Roz Condom Laga Ke Main To Dukhi Ho Gaya Hun”

  618. Biwi Sharmate Hue Masumiyat Se Boli: “Aap Ispe Lamination Hi Kyu Nahi Karva Lete?“

  619.  adult jokes hindi
  620. Ek Bar Ek Political Rally Mein Santa Ko Police Ne Pakad Liya Aur Khub Jamkar Pityai Kari

  621. Baad Mein Logo Ne Jab Reason Pucha To Santa Rote Hue Bola.

  622. “Udhar Ek Ladki Apni Chati Pe Sticker Laga Ke Ghoom Rahi Thi “Press” Bus Maine Waha Se Press Kar Diya.”

  623.  Adult jokes hindi
  624. Punjab Ke Ek Sarkari School Ke Teacher Ne Class Mein Ek Ladki Se Puchha.

  625. Teacher: “Tu Kall Kyu Nahi Aayi Thi?”

  626. Ladki Sharmate Hue: “Sir, Kal Mujhe Tattiya Lag Gayi Thi”

  627. Teacher Hairan Hote Hue: “Phir Kya Hua? Hame Bhi To Tatte Lage Hai Par Hum To Roj Aate Hai”

  628.  Dirty christmas jokes adults
  629. How come you never hear anything about the 10th reindeer “Olive” ?
  630. Olive ?
  631. Yeah, you know, “Olive the other reindeer, used to laugh and call him names”

  632.  Hindi adult joke
  633. Ek Ladki Bus Mein Apne Boyfriend Ki Godh Mein Beithi Thi.
  634. Ladki Ne Conductor Se Kaha: “Bus Dheere Chalao Jhatke Bahut Lagte Hai”
  635. Conductor: “Oye Madam, Godi Mein Se Uth Ke Dekh Bus To Kab Se Khadi Hai“

  636.  Gujarati adults jokes
  637. Bapu – Jivla pados ma koi lambi bai re che?

  638. Jivlo – ketie y 6.

  639. Bapu – ena kapda leto av

  640. Jivlo – km bapu?

  641. Bapu – Dr e mane thandi ma lambi bai na kapda pervanu kidhu 6.




  642. teri sula ke lu?
  643. ya bitha ke lu?
  644. ya tujhe karu khada
  645. ya fir teri juka-jukake lu?
  646. ab tu hi bata
  647. ki mein teri…
  648. photo kaise lu.

  649.  Desi adult jokes
  650. Ek Admi Ke Bete Ki Shadi Hone Wali Thi To Vo Furniture Wale Ke Pass Gaya Aur Bola.

  651. Aadmi: “Mistri Ji, Bed Zara Majbut Banana, Mere Ladke Ne Bahu Pe Chadna Hai”

  652. Ab Mistri Bhi Pura Kameena Tha, Bola: “Ji Chinta Na Kijiye, Aisa Majboot Bed Banaunga Ki Sara Mohalla Bhi Bahu Pe Chad Jaaye To Bhi Nahi Tutega.“

  653.  Funny short adult jokes
  654. Men were born between the legs of a woman, yet men spend all their
  655. Life and time trying to go back between the legs of a woman…… Why?

  656. Because …

  657. Home sweet home !

  658.  One line adult jokes
  659. Q: What’s the difference between your job and a dead prostitute?
  660. A: Your job still sucks!

  661.  adult urdu jokes
  662. Aik bar karo na plz..
  663. kisi ko pata nahi chalega..
  664. plz karo naaa……..
  665. muje acha lage ga…
  666. aik bar hamari dosti ki khatri
  667. kar do na plzz…
  668. aik pyara sa SMS!!!

  669.  Adult sms jokes
  670. In a party a lady wanted
  671. to go to toilet so
  672. she inquired with a sardar
  673. papaji susu karne ki jagah dikhao,

  674. sardarji replied u naughty
  675. pehle tum dikhao.

  676.  adult hindi jokes
  677. “Baba Sexydas Ji Ki Ek Book Chapi Thi, Jismein Se Ek Mahan Vichar Mein Aap Logo Ko Batane Ja Raha Hun, Umeed Hai Aapko Pasand Aayega”

  678. Baba Saxidas Ji Ki Book, “Jiyo Aur Jeene Do” Mein Batayi Gayi Ek Baat

  679. Paisa Gand Ki Tarah Hota Hai,

  680. Sab Ke Paas Hai Par Dene Ko Kisi Ka Dil Nahi Karta,

  681. Lekin Lene Ko Saare Phirte Hai

  682.  adult knock knock jokes
  683. Knock, Knock! Who’s There? Anita! Anita who? Anita Dick inside me!

  684.  funniest adult jokes
  685. A policeman was patrolling a local parking spot overlooking a golf course. He drove by a car and saw a couple inside with the dome light on. There was a young man in the driver’s seat reading a computer magazine and a young lady in the back seat knitting. He stopped to investigate. He walked up to the driver’s window and knocked. The young man looked up, cranked the window down, and said, “Yes Officer?”

  686. “@What are you doing?” the policeman asked. “What does it look like?” answered the young man. “I’m reading this magazine.” Pointing towards the young lady in the back seat, the officer then asked, “And what is she doing?” The young man looked over his shoulder and replied, “What does it look like? She’s knitting.”

  687. “A@nd how old are you?” the officer then asked the young man. “I’m nineteen,” he replied. “And how old is she?” asked the officer. The young man looked at his watch and said, “Well, in about twelve minutes she’ll be sixteen.”

  688.  best adult jokes
  689. One @morning a woman was walking out of her front door, when she notices a strange little man at the bottom of her garden.

  690. “You’re a goblin,” she says, “I caught you and you owe me three wishes!”. So the goblin replies “OK, you caught me fair and square, what’s your first wish?”. The woman stops and thinks for a second, “I want a huge mansion to live in.”, goblins replies “OK, you’ve got it.”. Woman again thinks it over, “My second wish is a Mercedes.” “OK, you’ve got that too.” “My last wish is a million dollars!”. The goblin then says “OK, you’ve got it. But to make your wishes come true you have to @have sex all night with me.” “OK then, if that’s what it takes…”

  691. Next morning the little man wakes the woman up.

  692. “@Tell me,” says the man, “how old are you?” “I’m 27”, she replies

  693. “Fuck me”, says the man, “27 and you still believe in goblins”




  694. Duniya Me Sabse Himmat Wala Kon?
  695. Ans: DHOBI
  696. Kisi k Bhi Ghar Ja ke Keh Sakta Hai
  697. Sahab, Madam Ko Bolo
  698. Kapde Nikal K Rakhen
  699. Main Abhi A kar Leta Hon.

  700.  adult dirty jokes
  701. A couple of women were playing golf one sunny Saturday morning. The first of the twosome teed off and watched in horror as her ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the next hole.

  702. T@he ball hit one of the men, and he immediately clasped his hands together at his groin, fell to the ground and proceeded to roll around in evident agony.

  703. @The woman rushed down to the man and immediately began to apologize. “Please allow me to help. I’m a physical therapist and I know I could relieve your pain if you’d allow me,” she told him earnestly.

  704. “Ummph, oooh, nnooo, I’ll be alright. I’ll be fine in a few minutes,” he replied breathlessly as he remained in the fetal position still clasping his hands together in his groin.

  705. @But she persisted, and he finally allowed her to help him. She gently took his hands away and laid them to the side, she loosened his pants, and she put her hands inside. She began to massage him. She then asked him “How does that feel?”

  706. @He replied “It feels great, but my thumb still hurts like hell.”

  707.  adult thanksgiving jokes
  708. @A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but couldn’t find one big enough for her family. She asked the stock boy, “Do these turkeys get any bigger?” The stock boy answered, “No ma’am, they’re dead.”

  709.  free adult jokes
  710. American Aur Desi

  711. american aur desi mein kya farak hota hai?

  712. american kaam ko dimaak mein aur c ko l pe rakhta hai .

  713. Aur desi c ko dimaak mein aur kaam ko l pe rakhta hai

  714.  adult halloween jokes
  715. @Question: Why don’t witches ever have babies?
  716. Answer: Warlocks have hollow weenies.

  717. @Question: Why can’t Witches have babies?
  718. Answer: Because their husbands have crystal balls

  719.  adult halloween jokes
  720. 10 Things That Sound Dirty On Halloween, But Aren’t…

  721. 1. So…What’d you get in the sack?

  722. 2. Once you get under the sheet, start moaning and groaning!!!

  723. 3. Just hop on that broomstick and ride it!

  724. 4. @Those small suckers are gone in a few licks!

  725. 5. I got the best piece from that house.

  726. 6. @Quit screwing around on the porch!!!

  727. 7. Stick your hand in and guess what you’re feeling….

  728. 8. It was so filled and heavy, I had to use TWO hands!!

  729. 9. They’ll suck you dry if they get their teeth in you.

  730. 10. I bobbed and bobbed, but couldn’t get my mouth around it!

  731.  adult humor jokes
  732. @One day Mrs. Jones went to have a talk with the minister at the local church. “Reverend,” she said, “I have a problem, my husband keeps falling asleep during your sermons. It’s very embarrassing. What should I do?”

  733. “@I have an idea”, said the minister. “Take this hatpin with you. I will be able to tell when Mr. Jones is sleeping, and I will motion to you at specific times. When I motion, you give him a good poke in the leg.”

  734. @In the church the following Sunday, Mr. Jones dozed off. Noticing this, the preacher put his plan to work. “And who made the ultimate sacrifice you?” he said, nodding to Mrs. Jones. “Jesus!” Jones cried as his wife jabbed him in the leg with the hatpin. “Yes, you are right, Mr. Jones,” said the minister.

  735. @Soon, Mr. Jones nodded off again. Again, the minister noticed.”Who is your redeemer?” he asked the congregation, motioning towards Mrs. Jones. “God!”

  736. @Mr. Jones cried out as he was stuck again with the hatpin “Right again,” said the minister, smiling. Before long, Mr. Jones again winked off. However, this time the minister did not notice.

  737. As he picked up the tempo of his sermon, he made a few motions that Mrs. Jones mistook as signals to bayonet her husband with the hatpin again.

  738. @The minister asked, “And what did Eve say to Adam after she bore him his 99th son?” Mrs. Jones poked her husband, who yelled, “You stick that dammned thing in me one more time and I’ll break it in half and shove it up your ass!” “Amen,” replied the congregation.

  739.  dirty adult jokes
  740. This guy was walking down the street and this hooker says, “Say, wanna have a good time?” “Sure,” he says and they were off to the nearest motel.

  741. She takes off her clothes and he keeps staring at her. She says, “Is this the first pussy you seen since you crawled out of one?” The guy says,

  742. “Nope, just the first one I’ve seen big enough to crawl back into.”

  743.  funny adult jokes
  744. @A mother is in the kitchen making dinner for her family when her daughter walks in.

  745. “Mother, where do babies come from?”

  746. @The mother thinks for a few seconds and says, “Well dear, Mommy and Daddy fall in love and get married. One night they go into their bedroom, they kiss and hug and have sex.”

  747. @The daughter looks puzzled so the mother continues, “That means the daddy puts his penis in the mommy’s vagina. That’s how you get a baby, honey.” The child seems to comprehend.

  748. “@Oh, I see, but the other night when I came into your room you had daddy’s penis in your mouth. What do you get when you do that?”

  749. “Jewelry, my dear. Jewelry.

  750.  adult jokes
  751. @A guy dies whilst making love to his wife. A few days later the undertaker calls her and says, “Your husband still has a hard-on, what shall I do with it?” The wife replies, “Cut it off and shove it up his arse!” The undertaker does as he is told. On the day of the funeral the wife visits her husband for the last time and sees a tear rolling down his face, so she whispers in his ear, “It fucking hurts doesn’t it!”
@This my most beautiful SMS for you If you read you owe me a HUG, If you delete you Owe me a kiss, If you save you owe me a DATE, If you return text message to me, You OWE me All, But if you ignore, You are MINe! So wat will You do?   nonveg sms hindi 140 character HONTON” se tere “HONTON” ko geela kr don Tere “HONTO” ko me or bhi raseela kr don Tu is qadar PYAR kary k PYAR ki inteha ho jaey, Tere “HONTO” ko choos kr tujhe or bhi joshila kr don Na rahe aarzo dor hatne ki raat jo Pakron tere “HOONT” apne “HONTO” se, Subha tak tery “HOONT”or nashela kr don.   non veg sms 140 words He took me from a bar  He took me in his car  He took my top off  He @puts his lips on mine, but don’t worry: I’m a bottle of wine!   @hindi adults jokes in hindi Husbnd in susral teling 2 wife: ao sex karen wife: Nahi ye mery baap ka ghar hy sharm ati hy mujy, Husbnd:mery baap ka ghar koi chakla hai jo roz tyar hoti ho..   adult hindi jock Peter -: Boss! Aaap @ko kaun si 3 cheeze sabse jahyahda pasand hai? Ajeet -: Ek Mona, Doosra Sona, aur Tisra, Mona ke saath Sona.
















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