Very Funny Chutkule jokes


  • Kathghere Mein Khade Chor Se Judge Ne Kaha,
  • Ajeeb Baat Hai Jab Main Wakil Tha To Tumne Cycle Churai,
  • Aur Jab Main Sarkari Wakil Bana To Tumne Ek Bike Churai,
  • Aaj Jab Main Judge Ban Gaya Hu To Tumne Ek Car Churai,
  • Akhir Aisa Kyon?,
  • Hujur Wajah Bahut Saaf Hain Aapke Sath Maine Bhi Tarkki Ki Hain. 



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  • Pappu School Se Rote Hue Ghar Aaya,
  • Maa Ne Pucha – Kya Baat Hain Rota Kyon Hain?
  • Weh Hichkiya Leta Hua Bola,
  • Guru Ji To Hath Me Kitab Lekar Padate Hain,
  • Or Hum Yaad N Kare To Bhi Pitte Hain. 


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  • Papa : Tumhari Class Me Sabse Zyada Hosiyar Bacha Kon Hai,
  • Bete : Deepika Hai Papa Ji,
  • Papa : Weh Kaise?,
  • Bete : Weh Class Mein Itni Safai Se Nakal Karti Hai,
  • Ki Aaj Tak Pakad Mein Nahi Aayi. 

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  • Do Dost Dono Ek Hotel Me Pahuch Gaye,
  • Jab Waiter Unke Pass Aaya To Sart Ke Hisab Se,
  • Use Do Gilas Paani Lane Ke Liye Keh Diya,
  • Pani Aane Par Sart Ke Hisab Se Ab Dusre Ki Bari Thi,
  • To Usne Order Diya- Waiter Menu Lao Jab Menu Aa Gaya To Fir,
  • Pehle Wale Ne Kaha-Mere Liye Ek Cup Coffe Lao Or,
  • Ise Laat Maar Ke Bahea Nikal Do. 


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  • ↖Ek Seth Ko Yumraj Ke Dut Lene Aaye,
  • Or Use Le Jakar Yumraj Ke Samne Khada Kar Diya,
  • Yumraj Ne Pucha Tum Kahan Rehna Chahte Ho,
  • Sawrag Mein Ya Narak Me?,
  • Seth Ji Bade Soch Mein Pad Gaye,
  • Kaafi Sochne Ke Baad Jawab Diya Jaha,
  • Do Chaar ⇖Paise Ka Fayda Hoga. 


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  • ⇪Pati : Suhagraat Aaj Se Tumhari Har Chij Main Istemaal Karunga,
  • Patni : Accha To Wo Plastic Wala Arraam Se Lena,
  • Bahut Badha Hai ⇪Tumhari G**Nd Fat Jayegi. 


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  • Shadi Ke Baad Suhagraat Ke Liye Pati Aur Uski Patnim,
  • Apne Kamre Mein Gaye, Patni Araam Se Bed Pe Baith Gayim
  • Aur Pati Cadbury Chocolate Apne Aujaar Par Lagane Lage,
  • Patni Ye Dekhkar Boli, "Kya Kar Rahe Ho?" 
  • Pati : Subh Kaam Karne Se Pehle Kuch Meetha Ho Jaaye. 

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  • Ek Khubsurat Ladki Patli Gali Se Jaa Rahi Thi, 
  • Raste Mein Ek Saand Khada Tha,
  • Usne Waha Khade Santa Se Pucha,
  • Bhaiye Ji Ye Sand Marta To Nahi Na,
  • Santa : Gaaye Ke To Marta H Aapki Pata Nahi,
  • Marega Ya Nahi. 


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  • Ek Aadmi Badhi Pareshani Ki Haalat Mein Office Se Ghar Gaya,
  • Wife : (Pyar Se) Suno Ji, Kal Mere B'day Pe Mujhe Saadi De Doge,
  • Pati Gusse Se : G**Nd Mara ?
  • Wife : Fir To Do Lungi. 

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  • Ek Sardar Apni Biwi Ke Liye Bra Kharidne Gaya,
  • Dukandar : Kya Size H Sardar Ji ?
  • Sardar : Assi Size To Laana Bhul Gaya,
  • Par Yu Samjo Pakdu To Anda Chodu To Omlette.

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  • Pathan Suhagraat Par Bola, "Bahut Majar Aaya Begam",
  • Badi Hifajat Se Sambhala Tha Aapne Isko,
  • Begam : Aapki Khatir Puri Jindagi G**Nd Marwa,
  • Ke Kaam Chalaya Hai. 


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  • Ek Shadi Shuda Insaan Ko Karne Ka Bada Mood Tha,
  • Wo Office Aate Waqt Ghar Pe C*Nd*M Le Aaya,
  • Tabhi Uski Biwi Ne Use Utha Ke Pucha "Ye Kitne Ka Hai"
  • Pati : 30 Ruppe Ke 3,
  • Patni : Oye Ram ! Mehangayi To Dekho Jab Main 8th Mein Thi To,
  • 10 Ke 3 Aate The. 


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  • Teacher : Sabse Zyada Calcium Kiske Dudh Mein Hota Hai,
  • Santa : 18 Saal Ki Ladki Ke Dudh Mein,
  • Teacher : Wo Kaise Batao ?
  • Santa : Wo Dudu Peene Lagte Hi Jism Ke Jis Hisse,
  • Mein Haadi Nahi Hoti Usme Bhi Jaan Aa Jaati Hai. 


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  • Rajender : Guru Ji Aap Mujhe Sanskrit Sikha Do,
  • Guru Ji : Kyu Kya Karoge Iska,
  • Rajender : Ye Bhagwano Ki Bhasa H Swarg Mein Jaunga To Jarurat Padegi,
  • Guru Ji : Are Tum Nark Mein Gaye To,
  • Rajender : Aap Tnsn Na Lo Behan Ki Tatt, Punjabi To Aati Hi Hai. 


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  • Sonu : Tum Niche Ke Baal Kaise Saaf Karte Ho,
  • Monu : Razaor Se Aur Tum,
  • Sonu : Jarurat Hi Nahi,
  • Monu : Kyu ???
  • Sonu : Biwi Baat Hi Aisi Krti Jaante Sulag Jaati Hai.



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  • Santa Ghar Ke Samne Baitha Roo Raha Tha Ki,
  • Banta Udhar Se Nikla Or Santa Se Rone Ka Karn Puchne Laga,
  • Santa – Aaj Subah Mera Kutta Mar Gaya,
  • Banta – Dekho Meri Dadi Ko Mere Ek Saptah Ho Gaya Hai,
  • Main Kaha Rota Hoon,
  • Santa – Tumhe Apni Dadi Ko Mere Kutte Ke Pille,
  • Ki Umar Se Paal Pos Kar Badha To Nahi Karna Padha Tha. 



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  • Jis Din Aap Mere Ghar Aayi Uss Din Hi,
  • Mere Yaha Chori Ho Gayi,
  • Ek Pati Ne Apni Saas Se Kaha,
  • Tabhi Pass Khada Unka Chota Ladka Bola,
  • Musibat Kabhi Akeli Nahi Aati Hai Daadi. 

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  • Press Ke Karmchari Ne Haal Hi Mein Hua Pardhan,
  • Se Interview Ke Waqt Pucha Rajniti Mein Aane Ki,
  • Siksha Aapko Kaise Mili ?,
  • Apni Lambi Berojgari Ke Baad. 


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  • Shopkeeper Ne Customer Se Pucha Apko Kya Chahiye,
  • Customer : 10 Chuhe Daniya.
  • Shopkeeper : Kya Aap Unhe Apne Sath Le Jayenge.
  • Customer : Nahi Aap Apni Dukan Ka Pata De Dijie, 
  • Mai Chuho Ko Yahi Bej Dunga. 


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  • Preeti – Maa Pitaji Ke Sar Par Baal Kyon Nahi Hain,
  • Maa – Beti Isliye Ki Weh Samjhdar Hain,
  • Preeti – Maa Tumhare Sar Par Baal Itne Bhade Kyon Hain,
  • Maa – Kyonki ................ Chali Ja Yahan Se Bakwas Mat Kar.



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  • Har Samundar Mein Sahil Nahi Hota,
  • Har Jahaj Mein Misail Nahi Hoti,
  • Agar Dhirubhai Ka Sapna Nahi Hota,
  • To Tere Jaiso Ke Pass Mobile Nahi Hota


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  • Kamla Apni Behan Ke Sath Cinema Dekhne Gayi,
  • Waha Do Seat Khali Thi Par Alag-Alag Line Mein Ek Ke Piche Ek,
  • We Sath Bethna Chah Rahi Thi, So Usne Bagal Wale Ladke,
  • Ko Aankho Hi Aankho Mein Jhank Kar Phir Himmat Kar Kaha,
  • Maaf Kijiye Kya Aap Akele Hai Bina Apni Gardan Mode Muh Ke,
  • Aage Hath Rakhkar Ladka Bola, Aaj Nahi Meri Badi Behan Mere Sath Hai. 


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  • Judge- Tumne Tank Ke Licence Ke Liye Arji Di Hai,
  • Pyarelal- Ji Haan Sarkar,
  • Judge- Tum Tank Kaha Chlaoge,
  • Pyarelal- Sarkar ,Baat Darasal Yeh Hai Ki Phichle Saal Beti Ki,
  • Shadi Par Maine 50 Man Chini Ke Permit Ki Mang Ki Thi Lekin,
  • Permit 5 Mann Ka Milla Tha, Maine Socha Ki Agar Mein Tank,
  • Ka Permit Manguga To Kam Se Kam Gun Ka Permit To Mil Hi Jayega,
  • Kahan Tak Kam Karenge Hujur. Ab To Dena Hi Padega. 


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  • Netaji- Yaar Kya Kar Rahe Ho,
  • Dost- Nakshe Mein Apna Desh Dundh Raha Hu,
  • Netaji- Hahah Dundte Raho,
  • Desh To Sasura Apni Jeb Mein Pada Hai. 


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  • Court Mein Judge Sahab Ne Jor Se Kaha–Tumhe Adalat Mein,
  • Kuch Aur Pesh Karna Hai Ya Advocate Badalna Hai,
  • Apradhi- My Lord Mere Pass Aa Kya Baccha Hai,
  • Jo Kuch Mere Pass Tha Weh Sab Advocate Sahab Ko Pesh Kar Chuka Hu.



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  • Chinki Ne Pucha - Dadi Ji Aap Badam Khati Hai Kya, 
  • Nahi Beti , Mere Saare Daant Jo Gir Gaye Hai,
  • Tab Thik Hai, Ye Badam Rakh Lijiye, 
  • Mein School Se Lotne Par Le Lungi. 


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  • Kiryana Ki Shop Ke Bahar Bhut Lambi Line Lagi Hui Thi,
  • Sabhi Bachain Thi Ki Shop Kab Khulegi Tabhi Ek Aadmi Tezi Se,
  • Aage Badha Par Isse Pahle Ki Veh Char Kadam Chalta Bhid Usse Pakadkar,
  • Piche Dakhel Deti Pachvi Baar Issi Tarah Piche Dhkel Diye Jane Ke Baad,
  • Weh Chilane Laga- Thik Hai Bhad Mein Jao, Aaj Mein Bhi Shop Nahi Kholta.



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  • Nurse Ne Pyarelal Se Kha – Mubarak Ho Bacha Ho Gaya Hai,
  • Pyarelal- Oh, Are Yeh To Btaiye Ki Bacha Razar Istemal Karega Ya Lipstick. 



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  • Chintu- Papa Ji Aaj Maa Ne Aapka Sara Dudh Pi Liya,
  • Papaa- Koi Nahi Kal Mein Unka Saara Dudh Pee Lunga,
  • Chintu- Tab To Chota Bhai Bhukha Hi Mar Jayega. 


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  • Boss - Tumne To Yeh Kah Kar Chutti Li Thi Ki Tumhe Apne Dentist,
  • Ke Paas Jana Hai Lekin Maine Tumhe Cinema Hall Mein Dekha Tha,
  • Lady - Ji Sir, Mera Mangetar Dentist Hi To Hai. Isme Meri Kya Galti Hai.



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  • Chinki- Mummy Dulhan Ke Bageir Bhi Shadi Hoti Hai,
  • Maa- Nahi Beti,
  • Chinki –Par Mama Ji Ki Shadi Ke Saman Ki Jo List Didi Ne Banai Hai,
  • Ussme Dulhan Ka Naam To Hai Hi Nahi 


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  • Chunilal Jee Ka Kutta Chori Ho Gaya To Unhone Akhbar Mein Add Di,
  • Mera Kutta Bhag Gaya Hai Ya Chori Ho Gaya Hai Uska Rang Bhura Hai,
  • Aur Naam Rambo Hai, Teen Din Baad Usse Doore Padne Shuru Honge,
  • Agle Din Kutta Chunilal Ke Ghar Ke Bahar Khada Mila. 


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  • Shaadi Karna Aisa Hi Hai Jaise Hotel Mein Khana Khana,
  • Aap Shuru Mein Apni Pasand Ki Chijo Ke Liye Table Par,
  • Nigahe Padne Par Lagta Hai, Tujhe Yah Chij Leni Chaiye The.


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  • Bantu- Maa Humare Naye Padosi Kanjush Hai,
  • Maa Kyu Beta Tumhe Aisa Kyu Laga,
  • Bantu- Aaj Unka Ladka Sirf 1 Rupey Ka Sikka Nigal Gaya Tha, 
  • Usse Nikalwane Ke Liye Do-Do Doctor Bulwaye. 


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  • Chudi Wala Rail Ke Dibbe Mein Do Chudi Ke Bundal Apne,
  • Sath Le Kar Ja Raha Tha, Ek Police Wala Udhar Se Nikala,
  • Aur Ek Bandal Par Jor Se Danda Maar Kar Pucha

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  • Suresh Naresh Se- Film Banane Ke Baad Aajkal Kya Kar Rahe Ho,
  • Naresh- Aajkal Furniture Bech Raha Hu,
  • Suresh- Tab To Bada Fayda Ho Raha Hoga,
  • Naresh- Ji Haan, Apne Ghar Ka Bechne Mein Faida Hi Hai. 


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  • Chinki Apne Papa Ke Sath–Sath Samachar Dekhte–Dekhte,
  • Bor Ho Gayi Thi, Phir Ek Din Apne Papa Se Boli-Samachar Kab Khtam Honge,
  • Papa- 9 Baje,
  • Chinki- Nahi Papa, Mein Punch Rahi Hu Jaise Buniyad Khatam Hui,
  • Mahabharat Khatam Hua, Waise Hi Samachar Kab Khatam Honge. 


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  • Bhikhari Ki Union Mein Kuch Bhikari Apna Sujhav De Rahe The,
  • Ek Ne Kaha- Police Hum Bhikariyo Ko Bhut Preshan Karti Hai,
  • Humhe Sarkar Ki Aur Se Bhikh Mangne Ka Licence Milna Chaiye,
  • Dusra Bola- Sarkar Ko Bhikariyo Ko Paki Dukane,
  • Deni Chiye Taki Hume Bhikh Mangne Idhar-Udhar N Jana Pade. 


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  • Kamla Ne Apni Punjabi Sheali Santo Se Kaha– Yaar Tum,
  • Logo Mein Har Har Baat Ko Do Baar Kyun Bola Jata Hai,
  • Jaise Picture-Vikchar Dekha Khana-Vana Khao, Chai-Vai Peeya,
  • Santo Ne Safai Dete Hua Kaha-Hum To Aisa Nahi Bolta,
  • Haan Jaat- Vaat Jaruri Bolta Hai. 


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  • Pyarelal- Yaar Aaj Gaddi Ki Letring Mein Meri Ghadi Aur Batua Gir Gaya,
  • Chunilal-Are Tumhe To Zanjeer Khichne Chiye Thi,
  • Pyarelal-Khichi To Kai Baar Lekin Har Baar Pani Hi Pani Nikala.


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  • Isme Kya Hai,
  • Bechara Chudi Wala Dukhi Hokar Bola- Hawaldar Ji,
  • Ek Danda Is Dusare Par Aur Mar Dijiye, Tab Inme Kuch Nahi Rahega.


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@@Very Funny Chutkule jokes,hindi jok,new best hindi,sms message for girlfriends.2018.

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